Huxley

I’m now the villain of this story.

I know it’s how Tia sees me. It’s how I see myself. I want her love, but I know I don’t deserve it. Hell, I never did to begin with. But shit, I did try to step up and be the good guy she wanted me to be. And I failed on such an enormous level, I know I’ll never be able to earn her trust again. But everything I did, I did to protect the people I love. My wife, my unborn children, my...

I shake my head, knowing if I try to explain why I did what I did, I’ll only jeopardize the plan I’ve been formulating since the day Emerson and I walked through Saint Augustine’s and saw the horrors of what Warren Thorne was really doing.

Until I saw them.

The children.

Abused. Neglected. Tortured. Nothing but stone walls and invasive medical experiments in their future.

I had to free them.

And I knew I had the one thing that could unbind their chains.

Warren Thorne’s daughter.

My wife. The woman carrying my children. My future.

God, I love her. I do. More than I ever thought possible.

Not that she or the other husbands will ever believe that now. But I have my reasons for what I’ve done. And I never had any intention of Tia ever knowing about it. At least, until it was all over and the innocent were freed. She thinks I used her for a bargaining chip, but I never intended for Warren Thorne to ever get his hands on her. In fact, he’ll never be able to hurt anyone again after I’m finished with him.

But if the men knew my plan, they’d never allow me to go through with it because yes, it’s dangerous, and it most likely ends with me behind bars, or worse... with a noose around my neck.

As Giles follows Tia up the stairs, picking her up in his arms and carrying her the rest of the way, she clings to him like she needs his strength to deal with my betrayal and my stomach twists.

I’m so fucking sorry, I want to scream. I never intended for her, or anyone to find out what I was planning.

Yes, her father is coming.

Two days.

That’s all the time I have to make this whole situation right. But there’s more at stake than just how Tia sees me. That’s what I have to remind myself.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Banks yells.

It’s time to lie. And I’m good at it. Hell, I’ve been doing it my whole life. But I never wanted to have to lie to these men. Men who have become my family.

“I know as well as anyone that Warren Thorne is a monster. But Tia is his daughter, our unborn babies his grandchildren,” I lie. “They have a better chance of survival with him.”

Better than the other women he has caged like animals in Saint Augustine’s.

Someone has to think about them.

Raking my fingers through my hair, I flinch at the way the others are looking at me as if I’m the devil himself.

Maybe I motherfucking am.

The things I plan to do are far from saintly. And while I have no doubt every single one of the men in this house has thought about it, I’m the only one who’ll actually do what needs to be done.

I continue my deceit, “He won’t hurt his daughter--”

“Bullshit.” Banks is on me again, but this time Emerson pulls him back.

“That’s really your excuse?” Fallon asks, his blue eyes icy as they pin me with a glare. I know he wants to kick me out of the compound, the only thing stopping him is Giles, who said they need to keep an eye on me in case I decide to run or do something else stupid.

Like, try to save our fucking wife.

To save hundreds of other innocent lives.

Salinger returns to the room, his call ended.

I run my hand over the base of my neck. They wouldn’t understand me even if I tried to explain. They’re just too... good. All that matters to them is their precious little fantasy world they’ve created. And maybe they can still have it. Maybe I could have had it. But I could never live with myself knowing the suffering that Warren Thorne is still inflicting.

Something has to be done. And I have to be the one to do it.

“Tell us what you did,” Fallon growls out.

I steel my shoulders and shove my hands in my pocket, meeting Fallon’s gaze. “You read the letter, you know what I did.”

“Yeah, we know what you did,” Giles says, walking down the stairs, this time without Tia in his arms. Restrained anger vibrates from him, making his words clipped. “We want to know why. Why turn her in? After everything we’ve been through, everything we’ve fought for.”

Blood is pumping through my veins, frustration brewing in my chest. Anger with myself. Anger over this whole situation. Anger that I had no other choice.

I did what I had to do.

Are you sure about that? A voice in the back of my head asks, which only makes my irritation grow.

“Tell us,” Emerson says, disgust making his lips pull back.

“Not everyone has choices like you’ve had Em. Fucking Navy Seal hero. Mama’s boy. Everyone loves Em--”

“Don’t do that,” Giles says, raising a hand as he approaches, always the fucking peacemaker. “Don’t turn your back on us. You fucked up. But I don’t believe you’d betray her, or us without reason. Talk to us. Tell us why.”

Fallon and Banks mutter comments that tell me they're not as sure about my motivation as Giles. They both want to crucify me. And with good reason.

“It’s too late,” I say, resigned, but not for the reason they think. “He’s coming. You can’t stop--”

“My father is contacting border control,” Salinger says, glaring at me with disdain.

It’s his distrust that hurts the most. But as close as we are, not even Salinger really knows me. I’ve kept things even from him.

Sal paces the floor. “If Warren Thorne steps foot on Alaskan soil, our special ops will be on him immediately. My parents--”

“Did you tell them I was to blame?” I ask my oldest friend. Hating the idea of his parents thinking even less of me that they do now. Hating the way everyone in this room sees me. Knowing soon the whole world will see me as the villain.

But I don’t care about the world, I only care what the people in this house think of me.

And yet, I can’t tell them the truth. Not unless I want them to stop me.

“You are to blame,” Sal says.” And I already punched you once over this. You ready to step up like a man and tell us your intentions, your motivations?”

I hate his tone, his demands. As if, somehow, he knows all about being a man after being coddled his entire life.

He’s never had to make hard choices. Never had to take real risks. He’s always had a safety net beneath him. Even now, he has a direct line to the goddamn Director. His mother is the most powerful woman in Alaska, and he’s being molded to take over the line of command like his pampered ass somehow deserves it.

Bullshit.

I’ve worked my ass off for everything I’ve ever had.

“You know nothing about me, Salinger.” My words slice through him, I see it. I see him wince, and I hate that I’m doing this. Hurting more people.

But it is all for one purpose.

To protect them. To protect everyone I care about. To protect the innocent.

They have no idea what Warren is capable of.

I do.

I’ve been working with him long before I married his daughter. Before I knew who she was. Long before I understood what exactly he was involved with. I had no family money to rely on. No education to help me through. No idyllic island where people knew one another's names.

I had nothing.

Only her.

I know some people think I inherited my business from my father. But all that man left me was debt and a motivation to discover every corrupt underground activity from Alaska all the way down to southern California and across to the East Coast.

Everything I have now is because I was determined to make something for myself, knowing no one else would help me get it. And when I lost her, it only made me fight harder.

“You fucked it all up, Hux,” Sal says. “And for what? To make some more money? When will it be enough? When you have millions in the bank, but blood on your fucking hands?”

I already have millions in the bank. More money than any of them know. But I’d give it all up in a heartbeat to save the people I love. And I will.

“It’s not what you think,” I mutter, my resolve shaking. “I didn’t have a choice. I had to... I have to fix my wrongs.”

“What wrongs?” Fallon asks.

I inhale slowly. I know my next words are going to upset people, rattle them. But maybe once they hear me out they will understand.

They need to understand.

This is bigger than Tia.

I can’t trust them with my whole plan, but I need them to understand why I did this. Maybe when I’m rotting in a prison cell, they’ll understand why I had to do it.

Why I have to kill Warren Thorne.

“I’ve been working with Warren Thorne for years,” I admit.

“Doing what?” Fallon’s fists clench and unclench.

The weight of everything I’ve done pushes down on my shoulders, and I have to sit down. “I located women for him and sent them to his lab. I got him the patients he needed.”

Inhaled breaths and muttered curses.

“You were selling women to Warren Thorne?” Salinger asks, his voice so cold I feel the ice sliding across my skin.

“Yes.” I press my hands to my temples. “Kill me if you want. Fucking end it if you must. But know this, I thought I was helping. He’s a world-renowned scientist helping to find a cure. All this time, I thought I was doing a noble goddamn thing.” I run my hands over face, the memories of the labs, the ones I saw with Emerson, blurring my vision. The way they tormented me every day since we’ve returned from Seattle. “I thought I was a part of the fucking cure.”

The women had wanted to go. Every one of them had volunteered. Even... even my sister.

“Shit,” Fallon says his word hanging in the air.

“I never knew Tia was patient C65. When he started requesting information on her, I had no fucking clue. I would usually just get an order and locate the female. Then I’d send out mercenaries to find them, bring them back, explain how Warren Fucking Thorne was going to save their lives.” I close my eyes, my thoughts tormented. “I thought he was.”

“But now you know, “Banks says. “You know what he did, what he does.”

“Yes.”

“And yet, you still betray Tia?” Salinger is looking at me like he’s never seen me before.

No, I want to scream. I’d never give her over to him.

Just tell them the damn truth, my head demands.

But I know it won’t redeem me. Nothing will.

“Could you live with yourself?” I ask them, placing my head in my hands. “Knowing what you’ve helped them do? When I realized Tia was patient C65, I tried to back out of the contract. But I already signed my allegiance. I promised I would deliver.”

“And so you just gave her name up? Emerson asks.

“I still didn’t believe he was the bad guy you all said he was.” That’s only partially true. How could I admit it to myself? It would mean I was an accomplice to murder. I’d heard the rumors, but it wasn’t until I looked deeper that I realized the truth.

So, when Emerson planned to sneak down to the dormitory, I knew I needed to go. I needed to see for myself where I’d sent all those women. Where I’d sent my own sister.

“But then...” I drop my head, the visions of the labs blocking all my reason.

“You saw the lab. The pregnant women strapped down, begging,” Emerson says, his voice filling with the horrors we’d seen that day. “The children.”

The children.

My head pounds with images. My throat squeezes with guilt, sucking all the air from my lungs. I deserve what’s coming to me.

“Huxley?” Giles' voice cracks through my memories. “Tell us what the hell is going on, or I’m going to allow Salinger to take you in.”

I frown between the men.

“Take me in?”

“You think I’m letting you walk after this?” Sal hisses. “You’re going down unless you start talking.”

He means to incarcerate me. Fuck. And while I didn’t do anything illegal by contacting Thorne, there are a million and one things he can bring me up on charges for.

And if I’m in jail, I won’t be able to go through with my plan.

Shit.

“Start talking,” Fallon says. “Now.”

I finally choke out, “My sister was the first woman I sent to Thorne.”

A few inhaled breaths, a couple of curses, then silence.

“I didn’t know you had a sister.” Sal looks at me as if he’s not sure to believe what I’m telling him.

“Beth,” I say her name softly, affection and grief mixing with the word. “She was eight years older than me. My half-sister from my father’s first marriage. She was...” I squeeze my eyes closed, remembering her face, the one my father would always say that only a mother could love.

And yet I loved her. So damn much.

“She was disfigured. Some rare birth defect. She believed she’d never find a husband here. Someone who would accept her, so when she heard about Thorne’s research, that he was seeking women to help find a cure, she went willingly. I didn’t know...”

Giles sits down on the chair across from me. “Have you been in touch with her?”

“I knew sending her there meant that she’d have to sign a nondisclosure agreement. So, other than a few short letters throughout the years, no... but the letters stopped a couple of years ago. I’d assumed she’d died. We both knew the risks of pregnancy. But I’d never received any confirmation.”

“I knew her,” Tia says from the top of the stairs. Her face is ashen and her eyes are red from crying. “Beth. She helped out in the library.”

A small smile tugs at my lips. “She always loved to read.”

“I remember.”

I hold Tia’s gaze.

“Is that what this is about?” She asks. “Her life for mine?”

No. God no. My life for yours, I want to say. Instead, I shake my head. “I knew my sister was gone. At least in my heart. But it wasn’t until I came across her death certificate in the files I’d been able to hack at Saint Augustine's that I knew for certain.”

“I’m truly sorry,” Tia says, and I see in her eyes the compassion I don’t deserve, even beneath the betrayal I know she feels. “Beth was a good person. Quiet and always willing to lend a hand.”

I nod, something breaking loose in my chest knowing Tia had known her.

“So, what then?” Fallon asks, shaking his head. “What did Thorne offer you that could make you trade our wife for?”

“When I was digging through the files, I came across two birth certificates with the same file number as my sister’s. Two little girls.” Anger burns like hot coals inside me. “My nieces. Shit, they’re only four and two. Still babies. Both locked up in that prison of tortures.” I hold Tia’s gaze. “You know what he plans for them.”

She nods then starts down the stairs.

There’s a short moment of silence, before Fallon loses his shit again, “Look, I’m sorry about your nieces, but if you think their lives are more valuable than Tia’s, than our children, that handing her over--”

“I wasn’t going to hand her over,” I shout in frustration, regained resolve fueling my words. “That had never been my intention.”

“Then what the hell were you planning?” Salinger says.

I lean back, knowing there’s no way to keep it from them and still go through with it.

“Huxley?” Tia says my name, eyes begging me for an explanation.

But I know she isn’t going to like what I have to say.

I steeple my hands and clench my teeth, before finally admitting, “I’m going to kill Warren Thorne and there’s nothing any of you can say or do to stop me.”