Emerson

I stagger back like I’ve received a physical blow when I see Helene standing at the entrance of the compound.

She’s the last person I expected to see. A ghost from my past.

Dark hair falls in waves over her shoulder, down to her waist, a sharp contrast against her ivory skin and pale blue eyes. She’s still pretty; she always was. But there’s an edge to her features that wasn’t there before, a sharpness to her gaze when it lands on me. The world hasn’t been kind to her.

“Emerson,” she purrs, stepping further into the house even though no one invited her. She may have felt the world’s callous hands on her shoulders, but she still knows her natural talent for seduction. I won’t be fooled again. Not now, not when I finally understand love and what it means. Pure and real and raw.

What Helene and I shared was lust, with ragged edges and broken promises. Her eyes lock with mine, and it’s clear we both remember everything. The day she arrived on our island, lost at sea. Windblown, yet resolved.

She has exactly the same look in her steely eyes now.

A man comes in behind her, built like a truck, and I recognize him from the military base. He’s Army. And from the way he scans the room, he’s extremely protective of Helene.

He must be one of her husbands. Why does it make my skin crawl at the thought of this man touching her? Maybe I still have a soft spot for her, after all this time.

For a moment I think it’s a weakness, a character flaw -- but then I stop and get a hold of myself. I’d be a twisted fuck to not care about her in some way, some form.

She’s my son’s mother after all.

Everyone is looking at me as if to explain. But what the fuck am I supposed to say?

I clear my throat. “I... I heard you died.”

Her lips twist slightly, but her gaze remains cold. “That’s only what the Alaskan government wanted everyone to think.”

I narrow my eyes at her. “Why?”

Tia comes to stand beside me, and her small hand takes mine.

Helene’s gaze drops to where Tia and my skin connect and she frowns, or maybe it’s a snarl. Hard to tell since her face is now a mask, hiding her emotions.

“I’m a free woman now.” She pulls her gaze back up to mine. “I had a daughter last spring. When I chose to use my freedom to leave, they concocted that lie in order to protect their precious lottery.” Helene’s attention goes to Tia. “They wouldn’t want people to think that they forced us to marry men we didn’t want.”

Her words cut at my deepest insecurity.

Tia’s hand tightens around mine. “What are you doing here?” I ask, not wanting to play games with a woman who I have never been able to trust.

“I left something a long time ago. And I want it back.”

Panic squeezes my throat because there’s only one thing she could mean -- our son.

“How is our little boy?” she asks, smiling when the room fills with small gasps and murmurs. I don’t entertain the shock of Tia’s husbands right now, my focus is on Helene and figuring out what hand she's playing.

“You’d only destroy his happiness if you went back for him,” I tell her, remembering Mason at the farm. How proud he was to be tending the sheep. He is growing up and learning responsibility. His character is becoming one that brings my parents so much pride. That brings me pride even though I’ve had no hand in the young man he’s become.

“And what about my happiness?” She moves towards me. “What about yours? You know, all these years I can’t help but think about what could have been. But now, I am free. Now we can finally be a family. Remember how much you wanted me to stay?” She pouts her lips playfully, but I feel the menace in her words. “You practically begged me to stay and marry you, be your little wife.”

“Don’t,” I say sternly. Of course, I remember. Going against my parents’ wishes, I asked her to stay and raise Mason with me, but she refused. She’d lost her interest in me after she got pregnant. For a long time, I thought it meant I wasn’t good enough for her. But I’ve since learned her refusal of me was actually a blessing in disguise.

A life with Helene wouldn’t have been any life at all.

“I have a family. Right here,” I tell her.

“In this cage?” she tsks and shakes her head, her hair tousled, framing her face in a way that makes her appear older than she is. “My dear, sweet Em. I know you. You could never be happy here. You love that island like it’s the air you breathe.” She glares at Tia. “And if your wife knows you at all, she knows I’m speaking the truth.”

Tia tenses.

“I do love my home. But I love my wife more. I don’t know what game you’re playing. But it won’t end well.”

“Is that a threat?” she hisses.

“It’s the truth. You don’t want to mess with my family.”

The man behind her takes a step forward like he has every intention of striking me, but Helene puts a hand up, stopping him.

“Take your husband and leave my house,” I demand.

She chuckles softly, and there’s something bitter and conniving in the sound. “Jared isn’t my husband, he’s my...” She smirks. “Bodyguard. I’ve had almost as much fun teaching him as I did you.”

“The only thing you taught me was how selfish and cold you are. I won’t let you near my son.”

“Does he know?” She tilts her head, still not backing down. “That you’re his father? Or are you still under your parents’ thumb? You always were such a little boy. Remember the things I taught you?” She looks at Tia, grinning wickedly. “Before me, he had never tasted a woman, never lick--”

“Enough!” I cut her off.

She lifts her hands in mock defense, “Oh, God, Emerson, always so sensitive.”

My jaw tenses.

“He doesn’t know about us being his mommy and daddy though, does he?” she asks, then laughs. “You always play the fool, don’t you?”

“I did what was best for him.”

She steps forward, pointing a finger, and a chill sweeps over me. “What’s best for him is me.”

“A mother who would abandon her child.” My lips curl up, finally seeing her for everything she is.

And seeing my own sins as well.

Because in a way I was just as guilty.

“Leave,” I demand. “And don’t come back. Ever.”

Her face distorts in a scowl. “I gave you a choice, Emerson. You’ll never be happy here with your paid for bride. This little thing who knows nothing about the real world. And the truth is, she’ll never love you. Not the way I did. Just wait until she dies in your arms, bleeding out, trying to give you a child. Then you’ll remember what a real woman is capable of. Not just fucking, but giving her men babies too.”

I’m about to scream at her to get the fuck out of my house, but Fallon takes it upon himself to usher her out. And Giles is on her bodyguard.

“It’s time for you to go,” Fallon tells her, not playing with his words. “Now!”

Helene backs away, feigning shock, but Fallon doesn’t cave. He slams the door when the two of them are gone.

Silence fills the space between all of us. So many pairs of eyes are on me.

My secrets. My lies. My son.

Only Banks and Tia knew my secret before now. And I can’t raise my eyes to meet what I know will only be judgment in the other men’s gazes.

“Emerson?” Tia places a hand on my arm. “Are you okay?”

I swallow hard because I’m not sure what I am. Everything as I know it is about to change. I run a hand over my beard, trying to collect myself, but seeing Helene here has twisted my past and present into a fucked up game of who can get to Mason first.

Helene won’t hesitate to tell our son the truth. Legally, and with a DNA test, she could even get him back.

I can’t let that happen.

“I have to call my parents. Warn them.”

I keep my gaze down as I walk upstairs to make the call. My steps heavy, my heart like a sack of fucking rocks. I was lost at sea once, and this feels exactly the same.

Hopeless.

I’m in the garage, sanding down one of the cradles I’ve been working on when Giles and Fallon come in and sit down on the stools across from me.

“They’re looking good,” Fallon says.

It’s been hours and hours of work, cutting cedar planks, measuring each piece with precision. Only the best for our babies.

Finally, they’ve taken shape. The curved components were the trickiest, but now they have a smooth rocker attached to the bottom and the headboard and footboards are firmly in place.

Tia is going to love them.

I mutter thanks, and the two men continue to watch me work in silence, apparently, none of us know what to say exactly. I refuse to meet their eyes because I know what’s coming. Some fucking lecture about keeping secrets.

So I keep my back to them and keep working. Maybe they’ll eventually leave. If they have any sense at all they’d go right now.

Because right now, I have enough on my mind.

The phone call to my mom didn’t go well.

She started crying immediately, gasping for details about Helene. And understandably so. In every way that matters, Mason is her son and Helene is nothing but a bad memory.

But it’s time the boy knows the truth. Better to hear it from them, than from Helene. It also gives my parents time to prepare, in case she does go after custody of him. I told Mom it would be best if she wasn’t alone with Mason in case Helene showed up, catching her off guard. I suggested that she needs either my brothers or my father nearby at all times until this blows over.

I throw all my frustration into the sanding, muscles so tight that I feel like they might snap. That I might snap. And for more reasons than just Helene’s sudden appearance.

A bottle of beer appears in front of my vision, and I glance up at Giles who holds it out to me.

“Thought you could use this.” There’s only sympathy in his eyes, not the judgment I expect to see.

“Thanks,” I mutter taking it.

“Thought we could talk.” Fallon is still sitting on the stool and he takes a sip from his own bottle.

“I don’t need a lecture.”

“Wasn’t going to give you one.” Fallon holds my gaze. “But it’s not good to hold everything in.”

I snort, lifting my beer to Fallon. “Good advice coming from you,” I joke, and it breaks the ice at least a little. When we first met Fallon was nothing but an ass who ordered everyone around. Truth was, he was just fucking scared of losing his new wife. Turns out we all have pretty fucked up baggage when it comes to family.

“Tia told us everything. About Mason, Helene, the whole thing.” Giles leans against the wall, green eyes always seeming to see straight into a man’s soul. “So you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want. Just know we’re here for you if you do.”

“Thank you.” I drain my beer.

The silence stretches between us because even if I did want to talk, I’m not sure what I would say. I need to go back to the island for a few days. I want to be there when my parents tell Mason the truth.

Fallon clears his throat. “Banks said that flower you brought back could help Tia.”

My brows raise at that. I’m shocked he would admit it to the others. “I’m going to go back and get some more. I was going to have my brothers send it, but there are a few things I need to deal with at home.”

“This is your home,” Giles says.

“I know. I meant...”

“Are you happy here?” Fallon asks.

“Other than constantly being afraid of the sky falling on us, yeah, I’m happy.”

“Good.” Fallon stands. “Because we’re in this together. If one of us is struggling, then we all are. You tell us what you need. Understand?”

I nod, hating the emotion that builds in my chest. “Sometimes... sometimes I wonder if she’d have chosen me.”

“Tia?” Fallon asks.

“Yeah. I mean, I see the way she looks at the rest of you. The connection she has...” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “I’m not jealous. I just want to know...” I curse under my breath. “Shit, I don’t know what I want.”

Fallon slaps a hand down on my shoulder. “You think we all don’t struggle with the same thing? But I see the way she is with you, and she loves you.”

I sigh. “I know she does. But does she respect me?”

Giles grunts. “Damn, Emerson. If there’s any man in this compound that deserves her respect it’s you. But if you feel that way, you need to talk to her.”

I know he’s right. But words have never come easily to me. I guess it’s time I try to change that.

After I finish my beer, I go into the house and look for Tia. I find her in her bedroom, napping.

I’m about to close the door when I hear her mumble, “Em?”

“Sorry. I didn’t know you were sleeping.”

“I was just resting for a few minutes. Come in.” The lights are low in her room and I immediately relax in her presence.

I lie down next to her and wrap her in my arms. I breathe in the soft lavender scent of her shampoo, wondering how I ever got so goddamn lucky to have a wife like her. It’s like the universe knew I needed someone strong and soft, gentle and fierce.

The universe knew I needed Tia, and Tia alone.

She snuggles against my chest and lets out a small sigh. I squeeze her tightly, vowing to myself for the hundredth time to never let her go.

“I love you,” she murmurs. “You know that, right?”

I nod against the top of her head and stroke my hand down her slender arm. “I have to go away for a few days.”

She looks up at me with concern in her eyes. Her compassion knows no bounds. “Back to the farm?”

I swallow back my emotion. “Yes.”

“You’re going to tell Mason.”

“Better me than Helene.”

“You know you can bring him here if you want.”

“Even if I thought it was a good idea, which I don’t, I know he wouldn’t thrive here.”

She lets out a small sigh. “Do you think our children won’t?”

“That’s different. They’ll never know anything else.”

Turning in my arms, she looks up at me. “It’s the same for you, isn’t it? Was there any part of Helene’s words that are true? Can you truly be happy here?”

“You know I’d give up the air I breathe to be with you.”

Her fingers flutter across my lips and she smiles, but there’s a sadness to it.

“Don’t do that.”

“What?” she asks.

“Feel sorry for me.” I want her to see me as the man I am. Strong. Capable. A protector. Not someone to pity. “I’ve always found my place wherever I land. On the farm, on the water, here. As long as you’re by my side, that’s all that matters.”

“Okay,” she murmurs, some of her tension easing as she brushes her mouth against mine. “But earlier… you know how you asked if I would have chosen you?”

I pull her on top of me so she straddles my hips, wanting to look into her eyes. “I remember.”

“I don’t think I would have.”

My jaw clenches as she looks down at me. My instinct is to pull away, but her eyes draw me nearer to her.

“Em, before meeting you, I didn’t even know men like you existed in the world. I had no clue that there were sensitive, kind, strong, men like you. But now I know.” She runs her hands over my chest, fingering the buttons of my shirt. “Now I know that I would be a fool not to choose you.”

I exhale, her words the comfort I needed. “I’m sorry Helene came,” I tell her, my voice hitching on the words.

“Don’t be. She’s Mason’s mother… she’s a part of our story.”

“I don’t want you to think I harbor any feelings for her.”

Tia smiles, her long hair falling over her shoulders, the overhead light casting a warm glow over her skin. She looks like an angel.

She runs her hand over my cock, licking her lips. “Don’t worry, husband. I can feel where your desire lies.”

I laugh, pulling her to me, kissing her hard.

“I love you, Tia.”

“Show me,” she says, reaching for the zipper on my pants.

And I do.