Zeb…

“Are you flinching?” Ghost asked her and she nodded. “Well, stop flinching,” he said and she looked a bit taken aback, but I could see her think about it and by god, it worked. She wasn’t flinching every time one of the guns cracked off. I smiled to myself and wished everything was that easy. If it were, I’d tell her point blank things like well, stop being afraid, and stop being so hard on yourself.

Right now, she was listening closely to what Ghost and Trig were telling her, and while they were at it, I was standing in line with Archer, Rush, and Nox, having a go at some target practice of our own. I didn’t fancy getting shot again like I had last year. Right in my leg, trying to help Data and his girl. That had been one hell of a firefight, I tell you.

Tiffany’s fingertips sometimes traced the scar as she lay across me, but she’d never asked about it. There were a lot of things she didn’t ask about me and I didn’t think it was disinterest so much as street smarts on her part. There just were some things you didn’t ask about, but then again, I think she and I were past the awkward phase of our relationship. Still, I had to be careful with club business. Club business was just that, club business. Not girlfriend business and not even ol’ lady business. Certain things you just kept to yourself, as much for your safety as the safety of your bros, not to mention the peace of mind of the girl you were with.

I know that Tiffany knew I was a man capable of violence, but I wasn’t entirely sure she realized that she was, too. Everyone was, it just required the precise set of circumstances, like a lock-and-key setup. The circumstances had to be the right set of teeth to move the tumblers aside to unlock that potential in a person. Everyone had a lock, it just was a fraction of the population that ran into the right trigger or key to make things move and subsequently, things to happen.

“Good, job,” Ghost said, squinting downrange.

“Did I hit it?”

“You sure did,” Trigger said. “A decent shot, too. Now let’s see you do it again so we can rule out luck.”

“Okay.”

She took aim and sighted and cracked off a shot, and though she hit the paper, she missed the black. Still, she managed to hit the target at all, which was an improvement in and of itself.

“To be fair, I don’t think you’d be this far away from whatever you were shooting at,” Ghost said.

“Probably not,” Shelly agreed from behind us all. “I wasn’t.”

“No. No, you were not,” Ghost grunted and shook his head.

“What do you mean?” Tiffany asked. “You shot someone?”

“Yeah, he attacked me in our kitchen. I was home alone. I got the gun out of the drawer Ghost kept it in and he was pretty much on top of me when I blew his head off.” Tiffany blinked and Shelly gave her a sad smile, “It was him or me and I wasn’t about to get raped a second time.”

“Me, too,” Tiffany said softly and sighed. I stood up a little straighter and focused on her.

“Silas, during our relationship. I didn’t know it was really considered rape. You know, the old-fashioned backward ideas –“

“Oh, believe us. We know,” Shelly said cutting her off. “You don’t have to explain yourself, honey. It happened and we believe you.”

Tiff nodded and explained anyways, “I didn’t realize it until I started my schooling in social work. We have a series of classes about dealing with trauma and sexual assault was a big chunk of it. Reading other survivor’s stories really clued me in.”

“No shame in it,” Ghost said and Tiffany made a face like he was an idiot and I tried not to laugh.

“I know that now,” she said. “Took me a while to get there, but it happened and it’s a part of me now, like so much else he did.” The steel and determination were back in her voice, that iron will to not be a victim anymore.

“Sorry,” Ghost said.

“Sorry I snapped,” she apologized. “I’m still working on a lot of it.”

“That’s what matters, eh. That you’re dealing with it,” I said and she turned to me and nodded slightly.

“Enough of this heavy shit,” Archer grated, and put out his cigarette. “I’m gonna go find something and kill it, anyone want to come?”

“Deer or wild pig?” Rush asked.

“Human,” Archer answered, and stalked off with his bow. As a felon, he tried not to carry a gun anymore at all. He had two boys and Melody, now. Said the last thing he wanted was to let them down by getting picked up on a weapons charge and that sticking to his namesake unless shit was dire was good for him.

No one argued. We all knew just how proficient he was with that compound bow of his. A silent killer, nine times out of ten you never saw or heard Archer coming. He’d come by his road name honestly, that one.

“I’m in,” Nox declared, his gaze lingering on the deep scar marring my girl’s cheek.

“Not without me, you ain’t,” Rush declared.

“Check in with Dragon before you do anything,” Trig called. Archer waved over his shoulder as he, Rush, and Nox trudged back down through the snow toward the back of the main clubhouse.

Tiffany starred off in the direction of the target she’d been shooting at and asked, “Do you really think they’ll find him?”

“Yep,” Trig said, loading a fresh magazine. “If Dragon and Reaver haven’t already, or Data.”

“What will they do when they find him? Just kill him? Just like that?”

“That’s not for you to know, Sweetheart,” Trig said.

Ghost went to Shelly, kissed her gently and said, “Come on,” putting an arm around her bundled form and leading her back to the club.

“I have to see him,” Tiffany said. “I need to confront him.” She sounded almost desperate like the thought hadn’t even occurred to her that this would just be done without any involvement on her part.

“I don’t make the rules, Baby. I just enforce ‘em,” Trig said and sighed.

“Well, who does make the rules?” she demanded.

“Dragon,” I told her. “Or rather, he proposes them and the club puts it to a vote. We make our own rules.”

“What Zeb said,” Trig agreed.

She looked upset but she was thinking, calculating, and finally let out an explosive breath.

“Do you know when he’ll be back?” she asked bleakly.

“No, I do not,” Trig said and handed her the gun. “One more time and then you need to go inside and warm up.”

She sniffed, her nose running from the cold and nodded; she wasn’t about to pass up any sort of practice when it came to anything that would keep her from being victimized again, but at the same time, I knew that look. The conversation about her participation wasn’t done and I wasn’t looking forward to being at odds with her on this.

I wanted her safe, but I also understood it was hard for her to trust. The fact that I had gained her trust as quickly as I had felt like a bit of a miracle, but at the same time I understood it. She was a lone canoe, cast adrift in a raging storm and she was being swallowed by a sea of emotions. Still, she was fighting to stay afloat harder than I’d seen anyone fight before and I admired her for that.

Her struggle was real, and I didn’t want to be yet another thing she felt like she had to struggle against. Fuck me and the position I felt like I was in. My loyalties were being torn between my club and this fierce, wounded woman.

I watched her carefully take aim and really work on her aim and was proud of her. She finished the clip and squinted downrange.

Trigger nodded slowly and said, “Much better. All you need is focus. We’ll work on some more tomorrow. Right now you need to take a rest and get warm. People don’t realize that shooting takes a lot out of you. You’ve had about as much recoil as you should take for one day.”

“Thank you,” she said, and I could tell she was emotional by her tone.

“You’re welcome, and I wouldn’t worry about him anymore. Have a little faith. You got more people in your corner than you know.”

“I’m realizing that,” she said gently. “And I can’t tell you how grateful I am for it.”

“I get you,” he said with a nod and then with a smile said, “Go get something warm to drink. Like to be freezing my balls off out here.”

She smiled and confessed, “Can’t really feel my fingers or toes anymore.”

I was with her on that one. “Hot shower then?”

“Mm, maybe,” she replied and took my hand. I let her lead me back towards the outbuilding that housed my room and even with the bone-deep cold, my dick started to get hard just thinking about her in my bed.

Once inside my bedroom, Max jumped off the bed and slunk under it. Tiff looked slightly hurt, but I lifted her coat off her shoulders and hung it up on the back of the door for her. I hung my jacket and cut up beside her coat and took her thick gray scarf. She rubbed her hands together and huddled in on herself slightly, and I sighed.

“Come here.”

She came to me and I folded her into my arms, against my chest.

“I don’t know what to do,” she said.

“Me either,” I confessed. “Stuck between a rock and a hard place on this one.”

“How so?”

“Loyalty to the club and my love for you.”

She leaned back sharply and stared me in the face, eyes wide and almost disbelieving before she said, “You really mean that.”

“I do.”

“Pretty sure that’s rushing things,” she said and I laughed but she cut it off by grabbing both sides of my face with her chilly fingers and smashing her mouth over mine, going up on her toes to do it.

I pulled her body close to mine, winding my arms around her lower back, my hands on the ass of her jeans urging her up. She gave a little leap and wrapped her legs around me and I strode over to the bed, laying her on it.

We kissed and shoved cold hands under clothes, jerking and laughing into one another’s mouths as we tortured each other with icy touches until our hands warmed up. Clothing came off bit by bit and the look in her eyes when I peeled off her socks and braced her cold feet against my bare chest to warm her frozen toes was one of soft wonder. I covered them with my hands and rubbed the life back into them, and she just watched me, her eyes misting slightly.

“No one has ever taken care of me like you do,” she said, her voice carefully steady.

“About time someone did, innit?” I asked, and she nodded slowly.

“I guess, I mean, I don’t really know.”

“I do, and it’s way past time,” I said and let her feet go, climbing up her body and laying over her, pressing my mouth to hers again.

We were down to our underthings and it was still far too many clothes. I needed her nude and writhing under me like a starved man needed food. I let my hands glide over her soft skin, learning her body by touch as well as sight, breathing deep her light scent like freshly fallen rain on new spring leaves. She was all things sunshine and warmth on these cold dreary days and I couldn’t help but warm my soul by her.

“Nik,” she said softly, voice a solemn plea as I kissed across her stomach. I glanced up at her and she was practically begging with her eyes for all that I could give her and I was more than happy to. I would give her the world if she asked it.

I skimmed her knickers down her long legs and kept her gaze locked on mine as I licked her from opening to clit. I plunged my middle finger carefully into her, her body wet and ready for it, hips arching; lightly rising and falling in an unconscious effort to fuck my hand.

I loved her reactions. I loved that she could let go with me and turn herself over to just feeling in the moment. I knelt by my bed, her legs practically wrapped around my head and did everything in my power to make the world shatter around her.

She moaned and rocked against my tongue, gripping the duvet in her fists, her pussy clamping around my fingers and I knew when she tightened up like that that she was close. I took a deep breath just before she snapped back like she’d been electrocuted. Her body went stiff, her pussy rippled and a stiff, choked-off cry escaped her lush mouth. She forgot to breathe when she came, and I thought it was fantastic. She always crashed back to earth and sucked in air like a drowning woman and I loved that I could make her drown in sensation so completely that she sometimes forgot the basics, like drawing air.

She went limp, her legs releasing me and twitching faintly with her little aftershocks as she gasped for air, chest heaving. I climbed her body, fisting and stroking my cock. We’d already fucked up and done it without a Frenchie once, but I couldn’t really care about it, it’d been so amazing and worth it. Still, we agreed we needed to be more careful, so I swept one of the gold foil packets off the top of the mini-fridge by the bed. She watched me, eyes dark with lust and if darkness could glow, her eyes did it with a light of a completely different emotion.

My heart knew it without her ever having to say the words. She loved me, too.

I rolled the slick latex down my length and got between her legs. She reached for me and I introduced myself into her body slowly, so slowly it’d like to drive me insane and I didn’t break eye contact as I did it. I wanted her to see, hear, feel, taste and hear just how much I loved her. I wanted it to sink in, for her to understand that she was so much more than the scared, abused woman that I’d met weeks back.

She was stronger than she knew, braver than she knew, smarter than she knew, and she needed to own that. She needed to hold onto it and never let it go again.