CHAPTER 28
The ranch was in chaos. Weston had sent a patrol car to block the drive. No one knew where Cash and Kate were, and that left Sterling and Travis to run double duty on the chores. Elaine repeatedly offered her help, but Travis insisted she stay inside with her feet up.
“I’m not a china doll,” she exclaimed with exasperation.
“But you are seven and a half months pregnant, and I don’t want to risk you getting injured by a spooked horse.”
“Then let Dax come with you. He’s old enough to rake the hay.”
“Please, Dad? Can I help, please?”
Travis looked from his stepson to his wife, and Sterling had to smile. The man was crazy about them. He nodded curtly, only to be assaulted at the legs by Dax wrapping him in a bear hug.
Something in Travis’s expression punched him in the gut. Jealousy snaked through him. Travis had it all. The woman, the kids, the life. He made it look so damned easy. And the smile on his face said it all. The man was as happy as a pig in mud. Even with funding for the ranch in jeopardy, paparazzi trespassing, and two employees on the run.
Travis kissed Elaine tenderly and held out his hand to Dax. “You ready to help young man?”
“Does that mean I’m a real cowboy?”
“Indeed.” The three of them made their way to the barn, Dax skipping ahead. “Dax, your job is to muck the stalls. Remember, never enter a stall with a horse. Understood?”
“You bet, Dad.” Dax skipped down the aisle to the far end of the barn where the wheelbarrows and shovels stood next to the pile of fresh hay.
“How do you do it?” Sterling asked once Dax was out of earshot. “Stay so calm?”
Travis made a face. “Believe me, I’m anything but calm.”
“I don’t follow.”
“All we can do is control our own reactions. I have no control over Cash sweeping Kate off to some undisclosed location to keep her away from the media and crazed fans. I have no control over Emma’s devices getting hacked. I might get gruff, but I’m not going to lose my shit anymore. All I can do is work to stay calm, and choose how I’m going to respond. And I’m sure as hell not going to do anything that scares Dax, or upsets Elaine.”
“Do you ever worry you’re going to lose it again?”
Travis regarded him steadily. “Sure. But you learn to take each day at a time. Sometimes each moment at a time. The key is to keep moving through it.”
The words were out before Sterling could pull them back. “I’m afraid I’m going to lose my shit. Go off half-cocked. Or worse.” His heart pounded at the admission. He looked up to the older man. Didn’t want Travis thinking he couldn’t handle being here. But Sterling couldn’t get a read on him. No one could keep a poker face like Travis.
“That have anything to do with the yelling the other night?” Travis cocked a brow, face unmoving.
Shame slithered down Sterling’s neck. Fuck. Who else had heard? Sterling let out a shaky breath. “I’m having a rough time with Johnny’s death.”
Travis nodded his understanding. “It’s never easy losing someone you love. Especially when you think you could have prevented their deaths.”
Something eased inside him. “You too?”
Travis lifted a shoulder. “All I can tell you is the hurt dims in time. But the wound is never completely healed.”
“I–” Sterling raked a hand through his hair. “I can’t get over this idea that I’m gonna end up like Johnny.”
“You ever talked to anyone about that?”
Sterling shook his head.
“No shame in talking to someone.”
The thought of exposing his vulnerable underbelly to a perfect stranger didn’t sit well with him.
As if sensing his uncertainty, Travis pressed his point. “Doesn’t make you weak. Or less of a man. In fact, some would say it makes you more of one, and a better leader, knowing when to ask for help.” Travis ducked into the feed room and began to measure out feed for the horses. “You’ve heard me say it before, but it bears repeating. You gonna let Johnny’s story be your story? Or just be a part of your story?”
Sterling squirmed inside as he took the feed and marched it down to the farthest stall.
Travis followed, hitting the next stall. “I’m gonna offer my unsolicited opinion,” he said as he dumped the grains in the feedbag and returned to the grain bins for the next batch. He stopped his measuring and hit him with a weighty gaze. “From what I’ve seen, it sounds like Johnny’s story has taken over.”
The secret part of him, the one that ate at him at night for pushing Emma away, the one that called him out for being an idiot, behaving like an ass… That secret part kicked him in the nuts. He was living some weird stunted version of Johnny’s life.
“Sorry to interrupt, but I got a bone to pick with you gents,” Brodie Sinclaire drawled from the barn entrance.
Sterling froze. Brodie’s tall grass threat returned to him in a rush. The last thing he wanted was an altercation with Brodie, even though the secret part of him shouted he deserved a good pounding.
As usual, Travis seemed unfazed. “Talk to me, Brodie.”
“Seems my little sister is in a peck of trouble.” His gaze swept between the two of them. “And the ranch seems to be at the center of the shit show.”
Travis handed Brodie a feed bucket and motioned for him to follow. “That so? She mention anything to you about a violation of a non-disclosure agreement and a viral video? Or the fact I’ve got paparazzi crawling over my property like the plague and now I’m two employees short with three more houses to build before May 1st?”
“My wife tells me Em’s being sued by Kaycee Star and was canned this morning.”
The news hit Sterling with the force of an earthquake. “She lost her job?”
Brodie turned the full force of his ire on him. “Seems like she was on the receiving end of a double whammy this morning.” His eyes narrowed. “Some assfuck put a video of my sister and Alex Jordan showing a little too much skin, if you get my drift, on the internet today, and that shit’s gone viral.”
“I’ll kill ’em,” Sterling muttered under his breath. Sterling fisted a hand. So help him, he’d track Alex down and pound him into the pavement. Major league baseball star be damned. A sex video? Bile reached up into his throat. The thought of Emma doing anything they’d enjoyed together with another man made his skin burn as if he’d been attacked by a nest of fire ants. But what kind of low-life made that shit public? That was the bigger offense.
“Get in line,” Brodie snarled.
“Now hold on.” Travis took Brodie’s bucket and poured it into Bingo’s feed bag. “There’s a video of Emma and Alex too?”
“What do you mean, too?” Brodie was clearly struggling to hold onto his temper. As was Sterling.
Travis sighed heavily. “Did Jamey tell you that Emma’s devices were stolen at the baseball game and she was hacked?”
“She was a touch upset. I didn’t get much out of her beyond the cursing.”
Travis smiled wryly. “Emma has footage of Kaycee here at the ranch. The material is, was, confidential. Until this morning, when it got posted and went viral. Hence the lawsuit, and the sacking.
“Have you talked to Emma?” Sterling asked. Emma must be beside herself. She’d put so much effort into her fundraising efforts for the ranch.
“She won’t talk to anyone. Jamey’s brother’s a lawyer, so he’s offered to help, but these kinds of lawsuits aren’t his specialty.”
Sterling’s mind was whirling. He turned to Travis. “Jason Case will know who to talk to. We have to help Emma.”
Travis gave him a hard stare. “Do we?”
“Of course we do. We can’t let her swing in the wind after all she’s done for the ranch.” And while she was distracted because he’d behaved like an ass. “And we have to convince Kate to call off the dogs. We have to find her.”
Brodie crossed his arms, still glowering. “That would be a step in the right direction.”
For a moment, no one spoke. Sterling got the distinct feeling Travis was sizing him up. Weighing him in the balance and perhaps, finding him wanting. Right then, he vowed to be better. To do better. To ask Travis who he could talk to, and to start living his own story, not Johnny’s.
Travis drew in a deep breath and raised his eyes skyward. “I don’t know where they are, but I know how Cash thinks and I have a hunch I know where to look.” He patted his chest pocket. “Anyone have pen and paper?”
“I’ve got my phone.” Sterling pulled his phone from his jean jacket pocket, and handed it over.
Travis typed for a minute and handed it back. Sterling blinked. “You’re kidding?”
“It’s worth a shot. I think there’s a four p.m. flight from Manhattan.”
“I’ll never make it.”
“Looks like you’ll be driving then.”
Ten long agonizing hours later, Sterling entered Navy One, one of two high-rise apartments overlooking Navy Pier. Strung out on adrenaline and truck stop coffee, he was ready to collapse, but not until he’s spoken with Cash and Kate. If they were even here. Deep in his gut, he knew they were. It was clever, really. Hiding a country star in a swanky high-rise apartment in the city like Chicago.
The night guard stopped him.
“I’m here to see Cash Aiken.”
The night guard scowled suspiciously. “At ten minutes to three in the morning?”
The last of Sterling’s patience frayed. “I have been driving for the last ten hours. It’s extremely important that I speak to Cash.”
The guard clicked his tongue. “I will need you to wait while I verify that,” he said firmly. No wonder Travis suspected Cash might be here. The security guard was a shark.
“Tell him Sterling is here and I’ve driven all night.”
A few minutes later, the guard returned, shaking his head. “Count yourself lucky. The elevator is around the corner.”
The elevator ride was the longest of his life, and the doors opened to a hall eerily silent. The carpet absorbed his footfalls, but Cash must have been listening for the elevator bell, because as he was about to knock, the door whipped open, and Cash stood there, glaring. “I should break every bone in your body.”
“I know, I know. Can I please come in?”
Cash stepped aside and Sterling stepped into a luxurious condo with floor to ceiling windows overlooking Navy Pier and the black beyond of Lake Michigan.
Sterling whistled low. “Nice digs. This place yours?”
Cash nodded curtly as he stalked to the window. “Bought it when I got out. But it’s been used as a safe house before. Hard for people to spy on you from the water.” He bent and tossed him a blanket. “You’re sleeping on the couch. We’ll talk in the morning.” Cash spun and stalked back to the bedroom without so much as a sound. Sterling kicked off his boots and lay down on the couch, pulling the rough wool blanket up to his shoulders. Exhaustion settled in his bones and his eyelids grew heavy. The blessed relief of sleep hovered just out of reach.
Tonight, maybe, he’d sleep with a lighter heart. The hours in the truck had given him more than enough time to examine every aspect of his life under a microscope. Travis was right. Jason and Macey were right. He needed to live Sterling’s life, not Johnny’s death. He honored Johnny’s memory not by existing the way Johnny had at the end, but by living the way Johnny had when they’d been younger. “I’ll make this right, Em. I swear,” he mumbled as sleep claimed him.