“Octavia!”

“What?”

“I’ve called your names three times. What did I tell you about playing your music so loud?”

As the memory replayed, Octavia watched from the sideline like a spectator, seeing the accident happen to her family and her adolescent self.

“Listening to my music that loud could ruin my hearing.”

Mrs. Davenport wagged her finger. “Give me the iPod.”

“No.”

“Did you just tell your mother no?”

“Yes, she did,” Mrs. Davenport answered.

The memory moved faster, and Octavia braced herself for what was to come.

“Young lady, you will not talk to your mother that way, and you will give up your iPod, or so help me God, I’ll pull this car over and—”

“Dad, watch out!” 

The brakes locked, and the Ford Explorer turned sharply. Octavia watched on in horror as her father was thrown from the car. The Ford Explorer flipped, and Octavia heard and witnessed the snapping of her mother’s neck. Fire blazed from the hood, and in the backseat, a teenage Octavia went limp, appearing to be unconscious. In her dream space, she continued to witness from the side of the road. Tears sprang to Octavia’s eyes as an adult Octavia ran to her father. She found him on the side of the road with rocks crushed against his face. Octavia screamed.

“Daddy! No, no, no! Daddy!”

“Octavia!”

“Daddy!”

“Octavia!”

Octavia opened her eyes with her arms in mid-swing, coming face to face with Selena. Immediately her hands stilled, but her breathing remained labored. The nightgown Octavia wore was drenched.

“Oh my God, girl, what were you dreaming about?”

Octavia glanced at the clock on her nightstand. It was barely after midnight.

“Shit,” she cursed. The dreams were getting worse and more detailed than before. Rising to a sit, Octavia sank her palms into her forehead and rocked slowly.

“Octavia,” Selena’s voice was sincere and worrisome. Selena sat on the edge of Octavia’s bed. “What were you dreaming about?”

Octavia hadn’t gone into detail about her parents’ death with her friends. The most they knew was that Octavia’s parents passed away when she was a teenager. They had apologized and offered their condolences, to which Octavia thanked them and changed the subject. Jonathon was the only one who knew how painful that time had been for her, and the therapy it had taken to get through it.

“I’m sorry,” Octavia said. She attempted to stop her rocking and regain her normal sense of mind.

“What are you sorry for? Octavia, you were screaming for your father.”

Octavia bit down on her teeth. She didn’t want or need Selena to feel sorry for her. “I’m sorry,” Octavia said again.

The doorbell rang, pulling the ladies’ attention away.

Selena raised a brow. “I’ll check it out,” she said.

Octavia nodded, happy for the temporary remission.

When Selena made it to the door, she checked the peephole to find Jonathon on the other side. Selena wondered if now was a good time to let him in, especially after what she just witnessed with Octavia. But after a second, she thought maybe Jonathon could help her get to the bottom of Octavia’s distress, so she opened the door.

 “Hey,” Selena said.

“Did I wake you?” Jonathon’s baritone vocals eased throughout the room like a sound effect.

“No. Octavia woke me.” Selena shut the door as Jonathon stepped inside. “Do you know anything about it?”

“I’m not sure what you’re asking.”

Selena glanced back over her shoulder and whispered, “I think she was having a nightmare. She was screaming for her father.”

Quickly, Jonathon moved past Selena, practically leaving her standing there talking to herself. Down the hall, he passed the guest room and made a beeline for Octavia’s bedroom. Still sitting in the middle of her bed, Octavia had started her slow rock as she held her hands against her ears. Her lips moved, and Jonathon acknowledged that she was praying.

“Jonathon,” she said, surprised. “Where did you come from?”

“Why didn’t you tell me, Octavia?”

Octavia glanced side to side and tried to pull away from him, but he held firm.

“Why?” he prodded.

“There’s nothing to tell.”

“So, you’re not having dreams about your parents again?”

Octavia swallowed thickly as Jonathon kept her eye, wondering if she would lie to him.

“There’s nothing to tell,” she repeated.

“Bullshit,” Selena said from the door. “You were in distress. I’ve never heard anyone scream the way you just did.”

Jonathon’s chest tightened, and his gut churned. “O?”

Octavia pulled her eyes away from their stares and struggled to get out of Jonathon’s arms.

“Let me go,” Octavia said.

“Octavia,” Jonathon repeated.

“Let me go!” she screamed.

He released her, and Octavia straightened herself. “I’m fine,” she reassured. But neither Jonathon nor Selena believed her. Octavia glanced at them both and put her hands on her hips. “I am! Stop treating me like a patient, okay?”

Jonathon’s eyes widened. “We’re not treating you like a patient. Where is this coming from?”

“Look, Selena, I’m sorry for waking you. I’m usually here alone, so I didn’t realize I was so loud.”

Jonathon frowned. “How long has this been happening?”

Octavia glanced over at him then took her eyes to the clock on her nightstand. “It was just one bad dream. I’m all right.”

“O, when I came in this room, you were visibly shaken and rocking back and forth. You are not fine. Why are you lying to me?”

Octavia caught the hurt in his voice, and it made her feel worse.

“I’m going back to bed,” Selena said. “Jonathon, if you leave, wake me before you go please so I can keep an eye on her.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” he grounded out.

“Oh good, then forget I said it.”

“Wait a minute.” Octavia threw her arms up. “You’re both doing it again.”

Jonathon folded his arms. “Doing what again?”

“Talking like I’m a mental patient. I don’t need anyone to watch me. I’ve been very capable of watching myself all of these years. I don’t need you now.”

It came out harshly, and Octavia recognized it as soon as the words left her lips. Selena stomped away from the room without another word, headed back to see if she could find slumber. Jonathon stood there watching Octavia, and it bothered her that she couldn’t read his thoughts.

“Baby girl.” He reached for her, and Octavia wiggled away.

“No, Jonathon, don’t. It’s not what you think.”

“Why are you lying to me?”

Frustrated, Octavia pushed off his shoulders. “It’s not your job to see that I’m okay. Okay! You’re not my family. You’re not my boyfriend. You’re just a friend, and friends don’t invade on another friend’s privacy if it’s not warranted. So just stop.”

Jonathon took a step back. “Friends don’t push friends away when they’re trying to help. Friends don’t let friends self-destruct. I never have and I never will. So, don’t think I’m about to start now. Regardless of what you say.”

Octavia was annoyed and livid. She plucked her hands to her hips. “And how will you help me, Jonathon? Huh? What are you gonna do? Save me from my dreams?!”

“Octavia—”

“No, you’re not. You know why? Because you can’t. And if I say I don’t want your help, then you don’t have a choice but to listen or you can just leave.”

Jonathon stared her down. “You want me to leave, Octavia?”

Octavia’s heart rocked as she gazed back at him. Jonathon waited for her to answer. He wanted to hear her say it.

“If you want me to go, I will. You’re right. I’m not your family. I’m not your boyfriend. I’m nothing to you, right?”

Octavia’s heart was teetering on a cliff. She stammered. “I- I didn’t say that. Now, who’s putting words in whose mouth?”

“So, you didn’t just say that to me a few seconds ago?” Jonathon challenged.

“I didn’t say you were nothing to me.”

“But you implied it.”

Octavia let out an exasperating breath. “Look, I just need to be alone, all right.”

Jonathon slid his hand down his mouth. “No, you don’t, but since that’s what you want, I’ll leave.”

Jonathon turned and left the room just as Octavia opened her mouth to speak. When the door slammed, she squinted and shut her eyes. After she realized Jonathon wasn’t coming back, she reopened them to find Selena standing in her doorway.

“What?” Octavia gritted through clenched teeth.

“Nothing,” Selena said, strolling back to her quarters with a shake of her head.

Outside, Jonathon paced across the front porch. Never had he met a woman who could ruffle his feathers and grip his heart like Octavia. Life had thrown him a curveball. Before Octavia, Jonathon’s days were filled with work at Rose Security Group and his mother’s foundation, Jan’s Roses. Jonathon had been A-Okay with working with the organization and growing his business. His love life was null and void, but that hadn’t been a problem for Jonathon since he hadn’t been in the market for love.

Then he met her, dancing with his brother Jaden at Jonas’ wedding. Seeing her from across the room had stirred Jonathon. The feeling was unfamiliar, yet it warmed his loins and rested against his soul like a soft caress. Jonathon had marched right across the space of the building, ignoring a few people who called out to him as he went straight for Octavia.

“Hey bro,” Jonathon had said. “You don’t mind if I cut in, do you?”

Jaden had smirked at Jonathon. “Nah bruh, do ya thang,” he said before moving off.

That night, Jonathon and Octavia spent most of their time on the dance floor. They’d only left long enough to get something to drink before jamming to “Step in the Name of Love.” The irony was the more Jonathon wanted Octavia for himself, the more she seemed to push him into a friend zone. And for the life of him, Jonathon couldn’t figure out why.

Over time, their closeness had spun into much more than friendship. Spending long nights staying awake just to hang out at her home or his. Talking about nothing and everything at the same time. Being with her was so easy and restoring. But there was a pain in his gut that told him Octavia didn’t feel the same. Jonathon battled nightly with it. This morning he was seconds away from telling her everything. That he loved her, unconditionally, and never wanted to spend another minute just being friends.

But Officer Davis had knocked before he could get the words out, and the day had turned into a tailspin of activity. Jonathon stopped pacing and left the porch going to his Hummer. Inside, he glanced back at her house once more before deciding to pull off. If a friend had come to him with a story much like his own, Jonathon was sure he would advise the friend to move on. The girl is just not that into you. But Jonathon couldn’t. He loved her too much. Her laugh that sounded like a serenaded melody brought joy to his life. Her spiciness, with her wanting to show her muscle at times like earlier when she pretended she would quit her job to join his security team. Her self-sacrifice, with wanting to help in any situation, even when she could suffer later for it. Like with opening her home for Ayana Bradwell’s search and having nightmares of her parents’ death.

For Jonathon, Octavia was everything. And he could never move on. Driving through the city, Jonathon’s mind was crammed with thoughts of her when his phone rang. Pulling it off his dashboard, he glanced at the screen.

Mia’s face smiled across it, and Jonathon tossed the phone to the side. He was not one to ignore calls. No matter the time of day or night. But Jonathon wasn’t in the right state of mind to have a conversation with Mia. Mia Ford had been one of Jonathon’s friends for a few years now. He’d come to meet her when Mia’s father signed on to work for Rose Security Group. Their friendship was purely platonic even though Mia was a beautiful girl, and Jonathon had sensed a time or two that Mia was interested in more than friendship. But he’d made it abundantly clear that he didn’t mix business with pleasure. And although Mia wasn’t directly connected to him through business, he considered her off limits anyway.

When Jonathon turned down Octavia’s street, he realized he’d been driving in circles, much like his thoughts.

“Shit,” he said. “Damn girl got me losing my mind.”

Jonathon passed Octavia’s house slowly, and all the lights were out. He rubbed another hand over his face and left her block, this time making sure to get as far away from her home as possible. Reaching for the phone now sitting in his passenger seat, Jonathon redialed Mia, and she answered on the first ring.

“Hey you,” she crooned.

“Wassup?” Jonathon said.

“I know it’s late, but I can’t sleep. Don’t you want to come over and keep me company?”

Jonathon wished like hell Mia was Octavia. Why couldn’t it be her, he groaned. Jonathon’s eyes dashed to the time.

“You’re home alone?” Jonathon asked.

“Yes.”

“Where’s your brother?”

“On some guys’ trip in Las Vegas. I don’t need a chaperone if that’s what you’re insisting.”

That brought a slight smile to Jonathon’s face.

“Are you coming or not, if not, I’m going to throw on some clothes and head out.”

“And go where?”

“I don’t know, maybe wander around a little.”

Jonathon snickered. “There’s no reason for us both to be out wandering at this hour. I’m on my way.”