Something as simple as sleeping turned to a chore.

The days that passed without Eleya by his side, without her sweet voice in his ear, were like the gods had singled him out for a punishment Xaven didn't believe he deserved. The warrior felt like a dead man walking, but without a target on his back. No one had killed him, except maybe Eleya.

The world didn't have color, though. Food was like ash in his mouth and every night, Xaven laid awake in his bed, feeling the missing presence of his gesha.

Briolina was a hot planet. It had a summer that lasted most of the year and a season that resembled spring on most other worlds. Nights were never cold, which was why most Brion homes didn't have many windows.

Now Xaven was cold, for the first time in his life.

He knew that it wasn't a physical thing. His body didn't actually feel the shivers that went down his spine when he thought of Eleya. The sheets on his bed were cool silk but when he laid his hand next to him, searching for a body that wasn't there, it felt like dipping his hand into ice.

Xaven had considered going to his gesha at first. He even tried, walking into Eleya's palace without anyone stopping him. It was clear the High Senator had given no orders to bar his way to her quarters.

He'd stopped on the stairs. The pride that had never held him back from anything suddenly roared to life, refusing to allow him to crawl back to her.

Brions didn't crawl. They didn't beg or barter, especially for the love of their fated. It was either freely given or not given at all.

Days turned into a week without a single word from Eleya and Xaven started to wonder if pride was the emotion that he treasured more than the eternal bond.

The door to his quarters started beeping, signaling a visitor.

Xaven was on his feet in a second and dashed for the door. Bitter disappointment washed over him as the screen showed him Towaren, Eleya's aide. Hope raised its head, however.

"Captain Xaven," the young aide said, stepping in and looking around. "Are we alone?"

"Eleya is my gesha," Xaven growled at the man. "Who do you think would be at my quarters?"

"Friends," Towaren replied without blinking an eye. "Family. I don't know."

Xaven humphed. He motioned for the young man to follow and led him to his dining room, offering him a cup of wine.

"Thank you," Towaren said, accepting the drink. "I still need the answer, Captain."

"Why?" Xaven asked. "What's so private you can't talk about it?"

"Everything that concerns High Senator Eleya is extremely sensitive information," Towaren replied in a tone of voice that said he considered it a common truth.

"And you think I'd be close to someone who would use any information against her?" Xaven demanded, taking a step closer.

The aide backed away, a flicker of fear flashing behind his eyes. He was a warrior like him, but Xaven could see right away that confrontation wasn't what Towaren had come for.

"You can never be sure," Towaren said. "There have been traitors before. Some of them very close to the High Senator."

Xaven glared.

"You mean Eren, her first gerion?" he asked.

"Yes," Towaren said, hesitating for a moment. "Captain, I didn't come here to accuse you of anything. I'm just trying to be careful, because she doesn't know that I'm here."

That was surprising. Xaven had gotten the impression that Towaren never did anything without Eleya's expressed command or approval.

"Then you shouldn't be here," he stated firmly.

"Perhaps," Towaren allowed. "But I had to come. I've never seen the High Senator like this."

Xaven's eyes narrowed. That changed everything. If there was something wrong with Eleya, there was no power in the galaxy that could have kept him away from her.

"Speak," he ordered. "Is my gesha alright?"

"Yes and no," Towaren said carefully. "I don't know what's going on between you and her and I'm not going to ask. A fated bond is private first and foremost, but she has not been herself and you have not been to the palace in a week."

Xaven didn't answer. He wasn't about to discuss his bond with Towaren, the aide was right about that.

"I finally decided to come and speak to you," Towaren said. "If the High Senator found out, I'm sure she would be furious, but..."

"Go on."

"This is bad," the young warrior admitted. "I have been there for every major event of her life since she became a general. I witnessed the failing of her first bond and fought off her rage when she was demoted to the High Senator.

"I've never seen her the way she is without you, Captain. She is like a ghost, a shadow. Like the fire inside her has gone out. I have seen no light emitting from her valor squares in a while. No anger, no sorrow, no joy."

That sounded eerily familiar. Xaven listened, feeling the painful cold grip around his heart tighten even more. It wasn't just him suffering, then.

Hoping that Eleya was faring better had been his only comfort. Not even the darkest hour of his life could make him wish anything else but the best for his fated. Eleya had broken her first bond and although Xaven considered the same thing happening to him worse than death, it had given him some much-needed peace of mind.

He'd imagined Eleya had to more prepared for the feeling of loss, but clearly he'd been wrong.

Xaven didn't know what to say. Not to Towaren and definitely not to Eleya. The last time he'd tried to speak to her had resulted in the worst heartbreak of his life.

For a Brion, being away from their fated was an unimaginable cruelty.

"Thank you for bringing this to my attention," he told Towaren. "I will do everything I can to fix Eleya."

The young warrior observed him with a curious expression.

"Is that what you think she needs?" he asked.

Xaven felt his fingers itching for the spear on his back. The aide had some courage if he dared to speak to him like that. Eleya was his gesha, his and his alone.

"She needs to know that I will do whatever I can to make her feel better, no matter how she feels about me," Xaven said.

"That's just martyrdom," Towaren said, raising his hand and reaching for the spear when Xaven growled so viciously the young warrior was forced to back away. "She doesn't want that. This is what I was afraid of."

"Say another word about my gesha and you will deeply regret it," Xaven snarled, pulling his spear.

"If I must fight you, I will," Towaren said. "Hear me out, Captain. I know that her image is tough and cold, but the High Senator is the last person who needs someone to sacrifice himself for her.

"She doesn't like feeling like a burden. I know you're her gerion and you don't think of her like that, but the fact that you use the word "fix" doesn't speak in your favor either. She doesn't need fixing."

The spear in his hands yearned to be used, but Xaven held on to his temper. The aide had no business talking to him like that, but it was clear he cared about Eleya and that he knew his fated much better than he did.

That was cause for concern, and cause to listen.

Xaven considered. Was it true? During the time he'd spent with Eleya, had he made an attempt to get to know her? Or had he done as she'd accused him? Trying to put in enough hours and effort to get close to her without ever bothering to figure out if there was an easier way.

He lowered his spear and Towaren relaxed visibly. The valor squares on his neck stopped pulsing battle readiness.

"I know," Xaven said, his deep voice filled with emotion. "Of all people, I should know that she is perfect."

Towaren said nothing. The truth was obvious enough and the question couldn't have been louder in his mind.

Why wasn't he saying it to her?