chapter 45
Laura slipped quietly into James’s study. He stood at the window, staring out. Adelaide’s funeral had been two days ago, and the house was draped in full mourning, gloom hanging in the air. The suddenness, the violence, the madness of it all, had left everyone stunned.
He turned and smiled, and she went to him, sliding her arms around him and leaning against his chest. “How are you? Have you spoken to Claude this morning?”
“I’m well enough. I saw Claude earlier. He’s devastated. Hard as it is for me to fathom, he really loved the woman. He said to me, ‘I never really knew her at all.’ His whole foundation is shaken.”
“He must be in dreadful pain.”
“Now that she’s gone, Netherly broke down and confessed. Adelaide persuaded him to help her do away with me—or, as he puts it, he was ‘so in love I would have moved mountains for her.’ They charged him with only an attempt on my life. I agreed, the stipulation being that he keeps his mouth shut about Adelaide. I won’t let her actions taint Claude and Robbie.”
“Yes, of course. It’s bad enough that they’ve lost the woman they loved, without having the scandal hanging over them all their lives.” She looked down at Demosthenes, who, tail wagging, was trying to edge his massive head between them. Laura smiled. “At least she didn’t kill Dem.”
“No. Fortunately he has a hard head.” He grinned. “And don’t say like his master.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Laura laughed and pulled away from him. “I thought we might get away this afternoon.”
“I would be happy to. What did you have in mind?”
“I thought we might visit Lydcombe. Do you want to see why I visit there so often?”
James eyed her a trifle warily. “I’m not sure. Do I?”
“I think you should.” She knew he could not resist the challenge in her eyes. “Since my visits there have caused you concern.”
“Laura . . . I promise you I don’t doubt you. In any way.”
“I know. But, still, I’d like for you to come. Will you?” She held out a hand to him.
“Of course. Anywhere.”
Laura’s attitude of amused anticipation continued throughout their ride to Lydcombe Hall, rousing James’s curiosity. Once there, she led James upstairs and into a comfortable sitting room, where they found Aunt Mirabelle, knitting and chatting with Abigail.
James glanced around, then back at Laura, confused. “You just came to see Aunt Mirabelle and Lady Montclair?” Abigail laughed, and he looked over at her, abashed. “Not, of course, that the two of you aren’t ample reason to visit.”
His aunt joined in the laughter, rising to greet him. “James, dear boy, I should probably leave you twisting in the wind for that remark, but I will cut you free. Convivial company though Abby and I are, we are not who Laura loves to visit.” Laura immediately began to protest and Mirabelle patted her cheek, smiling fondly. “Believe me, dear, we understand.” She turned toward the door, and her smile grew even brighter. “Ah, here is the one Laura comes to see.”
James turned, expecting Graeme. Instead, to his astonishment, a servant stood in the door, carrying a baby. The child’s eyes were bright blue and her hair a cloud of dark curls, and he realized this must be Abigail’s and Graeme’s child. He had not seen her since she was a red, squirming infant. Now she was a chubby-cheeked girl with dimples and a strawberries-and-cream complexion, old enough to sit up.
He scrabbled to remember how old she was—it must have been five months since he saw her. Six? Worse, what was her name?
The child began to squirm and make babbling noises, reaching out to Laura. Laura took her, settling the baby comfortably on her hip. “Here’s your Cousin James, Anna.”
The baby popped two fingers in her mouth and regarded him assessingly.
“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” James gave her a bow, feeling something of a fool, but having no idea what else to do.
Fortunately, this seemed to tickle her, for she giggled and blew a few bubbles around her fingers.
“Isn’t she beautiful?” Laura looked up at him, her face glowing in a way that made his heart swell in his chest.
“Yes,” he replied, his eyes on Laura’s face.
“Would you like to hold her?” Laura held the child toward him.
James’s eyes widened, and he looked at the child in consternation. He cleared his throat. “Well, ah, I—”
Laura simply handed the baby to him, and he could do nothing but take her or drop her. The little girl seemed far less uneasy about the situation than he. Anna grabbed his lapel in a firm hold, crumpling it in her wet hand, and wriggled until she was firmly in the crook of his arm. She was heavier than he had expected, more substantial, which reassured him somewhat that he wouldn’t accidentally break her.
She was a pretty thing, he reflected, looking into her huge blue eyes. He tried to imagine her with soft blond curls, her eyes in Laura’s shade of blue. Anna leaned closer to him and grinned as if they shared a delightful secret, and he couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Hello, Anna.” James stroked his knuckle down her cheek. It was, he discovered, incredibly soft. He looked over at Laura, watching him with a smile. “Um, I’d better hand her back to you now.”
Laura took the baby, and they sat down to visit. Anna was passed about from one woman to another, all of them obviously entranced by her. Graeme came in and joined in their admiration. James spent most of the time watching Laura. He wondered uneasily if this had been some sort of test. Had he passed or failed?
Later, as they walked out to their carriage, he took Laura’s hand and said, “That was truly why you visited here? To see the baby?” At her nod, he went on, “Why didn’t you tell me? Or ask me to escort you? It seemed you visited when I was busy elsewhere.”
Her brows lifted. “I didn’t imagine you were interested in cooing over a baby.”
“Mm. You might be right.”
“So I called on them when you were busy or somewhere else so that I . . .” Her cheeks reddened. “So I wouldn’t take away time that I could spend with you.”
He glanced at her, surprised and warmed.
Laura went on quickly, “I didn’t say anything because I was afraid you would find me silly and sentimental. Maudlin.”
“Don’t,” he said, his voice almost fierce, and he stopped, staring into her eyes. “I know I am cynical and even caustic, but I would never not want to know what you think or feel. I would hate it if I made you fear me in any way.”
“I don’t fear you,” she said firmly. “It was embarrassment I worried about, and that came more from myself than you. I didn’t want to reveal how I felt about you, how much I wanted a life with you.” She sighed. “I told you that you were a coward, but I was, too. I was scared, so scared, of giving you my whole heart. It hurt before to love someone, but I knew it would be so much worse to love you and not have your love in return.”
“Laura.” He cupped her face in her hands and bent to kiss her gently. “You never have to worry about that.” He continued to gaze at her for a moment. “Do you want a child? My child?”
“Oh, yes. More than anything.”
He would, he thought, give her anything when she looked at him like that. “Then we’re in luck, because I’m happy to spend many, many hours on the task.”
He kissed her again, until finally she pulled away breathlessly, saying, “James . . . we’re on the front drive. Everyone could be watching us.”
“I have no shame where you’re concerned.” As if to prove it, he went down on one knee.
Laura stared. “James! What—”
“Shh. Let me get this out. I’ve been trying ever since I returned, but I hadn’t yet worked up the courage.”
Laura nodded, waiting. He took her hand between his.
“Before, when I asked you to marry me, I botched it. I can only be glad that you were desperate enough to take me up on it. I gave you a number of reasons why I wanted to marry you and why you should be willing to marry me. They were all, in retrospect, quite worthless. So I want another chance.”
“You want to propose?” She lifted her brows. “Even though we’re already married?”
“Yes. I want to get it right this time. I’ve been a fool far too many times and I suspect I’ll prove myself one again before long. So I want you to be certain of my feelings for you—no matter how many times I might say the wrong thing or not understand you or lead with my head instead of my heart. I realized finally that there’s only one good reason to marry you, and that is because I love you. You are the center of my life, and everything I have would mean nothing if you were not with me. You’re all I want, all I need. This time I want to pledge to you not only my hand but my heart. I want to be with you the rest of my life . . . and forever after that, as well. Laura, will you do me the very great honor of marrying me?”
Laura nodded, tears welling in her eyes. “Yes. I will marry you. And I give to you the only thing I’ve ever had to give, myself. Heart and soul, I’m yours. I love you.”
“It’s a far better bargain this time.” James stood, pulling Laura up and into his arms.