Chapter Twenty-one
Zoey heard the call to attention and stood ramrod straight waiting for the rest of the ceremony to begin. There was a time, when she was a young soldier, that standing in this position for any length of time had been an almost intolerable burden, every thought a distraction, every fluttering breeze a tickle designed to make her feel like she was coming out of her skin, but she’d learned to welcome the peace and serenity of having nothing more to do than stand still. In the calm she was able to dig deep and push out all distractions. She used to joke that standing at attention was like military yoga.
Not today. Today, a week after she’d watched Lieutenant Louden, a Soviet agent, take his own life with a cyanide pill after she’d confronted his asset, she was acutely conscious of her surroundings.
Normally, a promotion ceremony would be conducted on base and the full company would be in attendance. But today she would receive her silver leaf in the Rose Garden at the White House, in the presence of less than a dozen people, and the person doing the pinning wouldn’t be her mentor, but a man she’d only met a few weeks ago.
When General Bloomfield called her name, she broke her formation of one and walked toward him. Then and only then did she glance into the audience, seeking out the one face she truly wanted to see. Rook was behind and to the left of the general, looking as dashing as she had the first time Zoey had seen her. Dressed in a jet-black suit with a royal blue shirt, Rook sat with her legs crossed, leaning back in her chair, looking completely at ease here in the center of power.
They’d had only casual contact over the past week. Both of them had been debriefed extensively by several federal agencies, and Rook had traveled to New York for Farah Hamil’s mayoral candidacy kickoff event. When she and Rook had spoken, they’d both danced around the subject of anything more than the next conversation, the next meal, and they certainly hadn’t talked about their uncomfortable scene outside of Sharp’s office.
Zoey knew the lack of connection was mostly her fault, if fault was even the right word. Sharp had been right about one thing. She was suffering from a bit of trauma and was still reeling from the one-two punch of having to turn in peers for fraud, and then finding out her mentor was a kept asset of the KGB and had been for years. The system she’d spent her life to support had failed her miserably, and she wasn’t sure of her place in it anymore. If she wasn’t sure about the rest of her life, she knew for certain she had no business making promises to Rook she didn’t know if she could keep.
The reception following the ceremony seemed elaborate, considering Zoey was the only officer who’d been promoted, but she supposed the general’s presence was a key reason the White House was putting on a show. Bloomfield had announced his retirement the day before and pledged to help the president find an unimpeachable candidate to serve as Head of the Joint Chiefs. Although nothing about the investigation so far implicated Bloomfield in the scandal, he felt responsible for not knowing his deputy was engaged in espionage and, according to Julia, he’d stated his oversight as the reason for his retirement. Zoey was sad to see him go, but she respected him for his decision.
“I haven’t been to many of these, but usually the person being promoted looks happier,” Rook said, handing her a glass of champagne.
Zoey reached for the glass and let her fingers linger over Rook’s for a moment, wondering if the heat between them would ever fade. She met Rook’s hopeful expression and wished she could return it with one of her own, but she was leaving and Rook’s life was here with the clients whose controversies demanded her attention. If she couldn’t have Rook, Zoey wanted a mission, a 24/7 distraction from the outside world, preferably in a desolate foreign country where there was no possibility she would be in the public eye. “Sorry, I am happy for the promotion, but conflicted about what’s next.”
“What is next? Although before you answer, you should know there’s a rule that if you save someone’s life, you have to spend the rest of your life at their side to protect them from further harm.”
Zoey smiled. “I’m pretty sure that’s just in the movies, but even so, I didn’t save your life. Louden must’ve bitten down on the cyanide pill the minute he left Sharp’s office. The poison takes a few minutes to take effect.”
Rook waved a hand in the air. “Don’t confuse the issue with science. Seriously, you charged that guy and punched him in the face. Pretty damn impressive. I heard Bloomfield is making sure you get whatever assignment you want.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “So what is next for you, Colonel?”
“I asked for deployment.” Zoey blurted out the words, hoping rushing the news would make it less painful for both of them. “I can do the most good when I’m in the field.”
Rook’s smile vanished. “How many times have you been deployed? Don’t you think it’s someone else’s turn to risk their lives for their country?”
Zoey uttered a silent curse for her insensitivity. Of course Rook was thinking about Rory. She injected her voice with what she hoped was a soft, comforting tone. “I’m in logistics, not combat. No real danger there.”
“You’re smart enough to know there’s always danger.”
“Maybe, but it’s the kind I can handle, not the back-biting controversies that swirl around in this town.”
“Sounds like it’s me and my work you want to get away from.”
“Look over there.” Zoey pointed across the room at the press corps lining up waiting to catch photos. “I’m supposed to talk to them later so they can all write stories about the fresh faced soldier, new to the Pentagon who punched out a Soviet spy, while helping blow the lid off a major scandal. The headlines won’t be accurate, the stories will only contain the most sensational details, and they will all gloss over the careers that were compromised along the way. That’s what I want to get away from.”
“What about the text you sent me from Sharp’s office?” Rook said, her voice shaking. “You said you love me.”
“I did. I do, but when I sent that…” Zoey grappled for the right words to explain she’d sent the message in the heat of the moment, without considering the consequences. She certainly hadn’t factored in the poor cell signal that caused the message to show up after the danger had passed. “I didn’t think, I didn’t know…”
Rook finished for her. “You didn’t know if you’d ever see me again. So it was like a good-bye.”
“I guess so. Yes.” Zoey sagged with relief that Rook understood, but at the same time sadness washed over her at the thought of saying good-bye to Rook. Nevertheless, she had to do it. She couldn’t straddle Rook’s world and hers. “Please tell me you understand.”
“I can’t, but I don’t suppose that matters.” Rook raised her glass and her smile was forced. “It was a pleasure knowing you, Colonel Granger.”
She touched her glass to Zoey’s, took a drink, and walked away. Zoey stood, torn between chasing after Rook, and standing her ground. Before she could decide, General Bloomfield appeared at her side.
“Colonel, may I have a word with you?” he asked, effectively making the choice for her.
Duty called and she’d pledged her life to it. Someday Rook would understand or maybe she’d just forget her. Zoey wasn’t sure which one she wanted most.
* * *
Rook sat across from Julia’s desk and pretended to listen to her fill in the final details of the investigation into General David Sharp, but she was distracted by thoughts of when Julia had first called her here and she’d learned she’d be working the case with Zoey.
“Are you listening to a word I’m saying?” Julia asked, her raised voice cutting through Rook’s thoughts.
“I heard you. Sharp was a Russian spy. I thought you’d already figured that part out.”
“Yes, but we didn’t know why. Contel,” she said, referring to the attorney general, “agreed to offer Sharp a life sentence in exchange for a full accounting of all the leaks he’s been responsible for over the years. Aren’t you the slightest bit interested?”
“Sure.” She wasn’t, but she knew Julia didn’t want to hear that. Rook hadn’t been interested in much of anything since she and Zoey had parted at the reception following Zoey’s promotion ceremony over a week ago. Since then she’d started, but hadn’t sent, over a dozen texts to implore Zoey to reconsider her decision to go overseas, but every time she was paralyzed by doubt.
Maybe she just needed to focus on something else to take her mind off wondering about Zoey. “Tell me everything.”
“Turns out the alleged act of heroism that got Sharp the Medal of Honor was the same thing that got him caught up with the Russians,” Julia said. “The KGB had officers in Grenada at the time of the US invasion, and one of them witnessed what really happened when Sharp’s squad was attacked. Sharp threw an injured man, one of his own, into the line of fire to avoid being hit himself. He may have actually saved them all in the end, but only because he sacrificed one of them to save himself. Hardly a hero.”
“So what, the Russians blackmailed him?”
“Exactly. They waited until after he received the medal and then started sending him messages. They had photos seized from local journalists and alleged witness accounts that they threatened to release if he didn’t work with them. Who knows if they really had any evidence, but apparently, he believed they did and that was enough. A better man would have faced the consequences of his actions, but he worked with them over the years, providing mostly small bits of intel to various Soviet spies. They were careful to keep it small until lately when he was poised to either be the right hand of the Head of the Joint Chiefs or be the nominee himself.”
“And Louden?” Rook asked. “How did he fit in?”
“We may never know everything, but it appears he was a sleeper agent, activated to work Sharp as an asset once Sharp was assigned to the Pentagon.”
“Unbelievable. And most of this information will never see the light of day, correct?” Rook asked.
“Not for a long time. The files have been ordered classified. The Post is no longer interested in the McNair sex scandal since Bloomfield is retiring, so we dodged a bullet there.”
“Is this the part where you try to get out of paying me because you don’t need me to spin the story?”
Julia leaned forward. “Actually, this is the part where we play let’s make a deal. Would you like to collect your fee for this case or see what’s behind door number two?”
Rook felt a surge of anticipation at the prospect of a new case, but her excitement was tempered with apprehension. But she quickly realized she was being silly. What were the chances whatever Julia was proposing involved another beautiful woman in uniform who’d steal her heart? Still, she proceeded with caution. “I’m willing to hear you out. That’s the best I can do.”
“Fine. I want you to come work with me.”
“Didn’t we just do that?”
“I’m thinking of something a little more permanent. We’ve been rocking along without a communications director since Timmons retired. The president hasn’t been happy with any of the names I’ve floated for consideration until I happened to mention yours. You’d be doing me a big favor.”
Rook’s mind started spinning in a dozen different directions. “A few things come to mind starting with, working for you would hardly be permanent since you only have a few more years left until you’re all out of here.”
“Exactly my point.” Julia started talking faster. “When you’re done here you can go back to fixing things for regular people, but in the meantime, your team can handle your current clients. Turn the firm over to them and come work with us. You’ll be in charge of crafting the official White House message for everything from climate change to the economy to civil rights. When we’re done, you can start another firm or whatever else you want. You’ll be able to write your own ticket.”
“Stop.” Rook played back Julia’s pitch in her head and examined every crazy word of her proposal. But was it really that crazy? She had been grooming her team to take the lead on her cases and she was growing weary of pulling people out of the holes they’d dug with their own stupidity. Granted, the White House had its share of those, but this second-term, well-liked president had an aggressive, progressive agenda, and the job Julia was offering meant she’d have the opportunity to be a part of some major change-making. “You don’t need to sell it anymore, but you do need to give me time to think about it.”
“Fair enough,” Julia said, raising her hands in surrender. “I promise not to call you until tomorrow.”
Rook stood. “Then I’m getting out of here now so I can have some peace between now and then.”
“Wait, there’s something else.” Julia reached into her desk and pulled out a folder. She slid it across the desk, but kept a hand on it. “The president declassified this report this morning. The official declassification won’t go into effect for a few weeks, but counsel said we could provide you, as a family member, with an advance copy.”
Rook’s hand shook as she reached for the file. “Is this what I think it is?”
“It’s the full report regarding your brother’s death. I’m warning you that shit may hit the fan when the news comes out because a certain pro athlete who left a lucrative NBA contract to enlist was involved. Of course, there’s also a chance no one else will think to request it.” She placed her hand over Rook’s. “I’m truly sorry that the circumstances were kept from you.”
“Why now?” Rook paused, trying to figure out what was bugging her. “And how did you know?”
“You can thank Colonel Granger. She contacted me specifically to ask.”
“I would thank her, but I don’t know where she is.” Rook had considered several times using Eric’s skills to find out, but a stubborn part of her said that if Zoey had wanted her to know she would’ve told her, and at this point a text or phone call seemed so hollow and possibly pointless if Zoey was already overseas.
She’d even gone so far as to have George drive her to Zoey’s house in Vienna. When Zoey didn’t answer, she’d peered through the front window only to see stacks of boxes sitting in a room with no furniture. Clearly, Zoey had already deployed or she was getting ready to, and either way, she’d moved on.
“She’s at McNair,” Julia said.
“What?” Rook was certain she’d misunderstood.
“She took a teaching position at the college. She started this week.”
Rook reeled at the news. Zoey was working in DC, not at a base overseas. A permanent job only miles away. “Okay then.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know.”
“A minute ago when I said she was at McNair, your whole face lit up, but now you look like someone stole a client from you,” Julia said. “I thought you liked this one.”
“Like doesn’t begin to cover it.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
What was the problem? Rook circled through all the possible responses. Zoey hated the work she did. Zoey was still in the military. There was more, but most rang hollow. “She told me she loved me, but then she took it back.” Not entirely true, but close.
Julia sighed. “You sound like a twelve-year-old. What did you do when she told you? Did you say it back?”
Rook started to explain that when Zoey said it, she’d been in the middle of a high stress situation, that by the time she received the text she was no longer sure Zoey still meant the words.
But if she loved Zoey, why hadn’t she taken the time to tell her how she felt? She’d had plenty of opportunities during the days after Sharp had been arrested. She could’ve said the words at the reception when she’d asked Zoey to stay.
Julia was right. She was acting like a child—insecure about admitting her feelings until she knew they’d be returned. When Zoey had made it clear she was leaving, Rook had crawled back into her comfortable world of no personal commitments. But it wasn’t comfortable anymore, and it never would be again now that she’d had a glimpse of what could be. If she’d had the courage to tell Zoey the depth of her feelings, would Zoey have given them a chance?
There was only one way to find out. Rook grabbed the file from Julia’s desk and headed for the door. “I’ll let you know what I decide,” she called out as she left, but she already knew exactly what she had planned, and for the first time in her life, it had nothing to do with work.
* * *
Zoey reminded the class about the reading assignment and dismissed them exactly on the hour. When the last student left the room, she sat behind her desk and drank in the quiet, finding she liked it much more than she could have ever imagined.
The professorship had been General Bloomfield’s suggestion after he politely denied her request for a deployment. “You’ve done your part,” he’d said, echoing the words Rook had spoken at the reception after her promotion ceremony. “Now share what you’ve learned with other officers.”
He’d insisted, and she’d agreed. The fact was, the idea of going back to a base—even one overseas—after her face had been in every paper and cable news channel was distasteful. And there was no way she was working in the Pentagon again. Her early career dreams of moving up the ranks were the product of naiveté, and she’d been clueless about the collateral consequences advancement would have on her psyche.
So now she taught the logistics she’d learned in the field, along with ethics, to officers at a war college. They’d go on to apply the lessons she’d learned and she would have the space and time to explore having a personal life. Once she got over Rook Daniels—not an easy feat since Rook’s face showed up in the news almost daily. She’d considered calling several times, but nothing had really changed. Classroom or not, she was still a soldier and Rook still thrived on the kind of public controversy Zoey struggled to avoid.
“You look good behind that desk.”
Zoey stared at the doorway, unable to believe her eyes. “I was just thinking about you.” The honest words tumbled out.
Rook stepped into the room. “Word is you’ve abandoned the front lines for the classroom.”
“It’s true. I might have been strong-armed a little, but I’m kind of liking it.”
“I’m glad.”
Rook’s voice was soft and low, and Zoey wanted to wrap up in its warmth. The distance she’d placed between them dissolved. Seeing Rook standing here, close enough to touch, made the wall she’d erected between them seem like a stepping stone. She stood and walked toward her. “I’m glad you’re here.”
Rook smiled. “There’s a lot of glad between us.” She shifted in place. “Julia gave me a copy of Rory’s file this morning. She tells me I have you to thank.”
“I knew it was important to you.”
“It is, but I’m learning that I don’t always know what’s most important to me until I’ve let it slip away.”
Zoey reached for Rook’s hand and laced their fingers. “I walked away, not you.”
“You didn’t walk very far.”
“I know.” Zoey willed Rook to hear the subtle acknowledgement of hope in her voice.
“But I let you and maybe that’s what you wanted,” Rook said. “Maybe it’s what you still want, but I had to come here and tell you that I love you. I love you and I want to see if we can make a life together. And if it means I need to change what I do for a living, then—”
Zoey leaned in and kissed Rook, brushing her lips softly at first, but then claiming her with hard strokes of her tongue to send a sure signal she no longer second-guessed the depth of her feelings. When they broke for air, the words came rushing out. “I love you too.” Zoey jabbed a finger at Rook’s heart. “You. And whatever you decide to do with your life won’t change that as long as I can be by your side.” She pulled Rook’s hand and pointed to the door. “Now, let’s go make a life together.”
THE END