"So you're telling me you think you found the right match?" I ask as I twist my napkin in my lap, trying not to look nervous in the least as Lori excitedly tells me all about the man that might become my husband.

"Oh my gosh, 'Manda," she bubbles as I try to decide if my heart rate is high enough to worry about, "He's so dreamy. You're gonna love him! Brent loves him too, this guy is perfect husband material."

My best friend's voice fades into distant white noise even though I'm trying to focus on what she's saying.

A match.

It's been months since I applied with a high profile marriage broker to find a husband. I guess on some level I realized the process really was in motion, Lori and my sister, Kari, tell me every time they start interviewing a new potential match but they don't really keep me in the loop as the process goes on.

My brother, Brent, is part of my team too but he's a guy, you know? I trust his input a lot but I never expected him to be the one that called me after every interview to tell me all the details.

I don't know-- I glance down at the twisted paper napkin in my hands and realize it's starting to shred apart from the abuse I'm putting it through-- maybe I didn't think it was really going to happen.

Now Lori's going on and on about some dude named Christopher and how good looking he is and how refined he is and how she wants to tell me all kinds of stuff about him but she can't yet and she's so excited for me to meet him.

Suddenly I'm having second thoughts. What the hell was I thinking? Really? A professional match maker? What century am I living in? Am I really that desperate to get married?

"Manda?" Lori seems to have realized I stopped breathing, "You OK?"

I nod a little too enthusiastically, trying not to show how I really feel.

The match maker is expensive and she doesn't dick around with just setting people up and hoping it works out-- I had to fill out a ton of questions and go through a bunch of personal interviews with her. Once she got a feel for who I am and what I'm looking for...no. That's not how she put it.

Raven specifically explained that once she got a feel for who I am and what I "need," that's when she had me put her in contact with the people that I trust most to choose a mate for me.

At this exact moment my head is spinning and I'm wondering what the hell I was thinking? I'm letting my siblings and my best friend decide who I'm going to marry.

They aren't setting me up on a blind date-- this is for the whole ball of wax....or shoe of rice, as it were.

"Mans," Lori's voice softens and drops an octave, "you don't look very excited for a girl who's about to get married."

This is my bestie's compassionate voice. It's almost enough to make me laugh.

"But I'll be marrying a total stranger, Lori." I gulp air into my lungs and try not to let it out in a panic sob.

She gives me a worried look and then a bright smile, "No, Pandabear, trust me, Chris is a total sweetheart. He's perfect for you and you two are going to fall madly in love at first sight and live happily ever after."

She's so certain. Lori's always been good about that. She doesn't overthink everything the way I do. She makes up her mind and that's it.

I give her a brave smile that makes her laugh out loud.

"Amanda," she finally steadies her eyes on me, "You wanted to stop dealing with the bullshit of dating and find the right man and get married. You hired Raven Swann to make that happen and you spent a boat load of money for her-- do not even think that you are backing out now after we have worked so hard to find this guy for you."

She seems relieved to finally get a real smile from me.

My stomach settles a tad and I drop the mangled napkin on my empty plate on the table.

"Thanks Lor," I tell her shyly, "it's just kinda," I sigh deeply and wave my hands in the air, searching for the right words, "overwhelming."

"It's not supposed to be," she tells me. "It's supposed to be exciting! You're gonna get married, 'Manda! You shouldn't be worried about meeting Chris. That's the easy part. You should be worried about what God-awful brides maid dress you're going to make me wear for your wedding."

I try to borrow some of Lori's confidence as we settle the lunch bill and do some shopping while we're downtown.

If my team has narrowed down my match, that means that one of the teams that has been interviewing me represents this Christopher guy and it's not going to be long before I have to meet my future husband in person.

I wonder who he is as I wait while Lori tries on dresses for her date this weekend and rattles on about the guy she's meeting up with for a second date despite not clicking with him the last time they went out.

I never have to do that again, I think as I give her my feedback on each ensemble she parades for me.

I'm never swiping left or right again. I'm never getting ghosted by a guy I like again. No more unsolicited dick pics.

"You look like you had a change of attitude," Lori tells me as she steps out of the changing room, back in her street clothes and holding 2 of the outfits she just modeled for me.

She's right. I'm grinning from ear to ear.

"No more dick pics," I tell her.

Lori lifts an eyebrow and then laughs, "Oh my God, Mans, I'm so jealous." She whips her phone out of her back pocket and thumbs through something on the screen, "Don't worry, I'll share."

I should be prepared, but somehow she still manages to catch me off guard as she holds up her phone with a text convo open on the screen-- complete with....I groan.

The sales girl at the register stares at us as Lori bursts into laughter and I clap my hand over my eyes.

"Do they sell eye bleach here?" I wail, "Why would you show me that?" I demand as the clerk rings up Lori's purchases, "I thought we were friends."

"We are, that's why you have to share my pain," Lori tells me.

My decision to go through with an arranged marriage is feeling a lot less scary now. I can't wait to meet my new fiance.