Chapter Two
Dan
I sent a message to the guys telling them that I needed their help. I went to the clinic to spy on my ex, not to get a baby. Luckily, he was sleeping. I ran out of there so fast as I grabbed the bag and the baby that I thought maybe I'd woken him up and shoved him at the back of my car. The crazy part was that I'd been renting a parking space near work ever since I'd been laid off. The whole thing was so fucking insane. I knew that the guys would come around, they’d probably think that I'd gone down the dark path again. Not only had I relapsed, but I had a new addition to my family.
A baby.
I knew that I needed to give him back, the question was how.
I hesitated as I put the key in the ignition and then checked in the back, he wasn’t making a sound. I wasn’t even sure how old he was, because I hadn’t been paying attention whenever Martin, Noah and now Chad talked about babies. Maybe this was a sign, they all had baby fever. Especially, because both Ivy and Kylie were now expecting. Noah and Kylie were having their second baby. I swear it felt like only the other day that they had their first. Maybe when she’s writing her songs, they make sweet music and the next thing she’s pregnant.
God, what a fucking mess!
As soon as I got to my house, I noticed Noah parked outside.
“Crap, that was quick!”
He sighed. “Yeah, I was on my way to see you before you called.”
I raised an eyebrow. “How come?”
“Work. I heard that you lost your job. Kylie had to go to the city today. She took the kids and then I thought that I’d surprise you at work, only to hear that you lost your job. Two weeks ago! But, when I spoke to you on Monday, you said that you were on your way to work. I called the guys a little after you’d called us. So, they’re on their way too.”
Shoot, do none of my friends work? They always seemed to be a bit too quick to come over and help out whenever I called.
That’s when the baby started crying as if on cue.
“Dan, you took a baby?” Noah looked at me as if I’d lost my mind.
I shook my head. “By accident.”
“Run that by me again. You took a baby by accident?”
I nodded. “You see, I saw Laila going into a clinic. And I followed her and then there was this girl.”
The baby was crying and I ignored it. Thinking, ‘out of sight, out of mind’.
Noah said, “You can’t leave him in the car.”
I waited for him to pick it up. That’s exactly what he did and then Chad pulled up. Damn! I may as well retell my story to the pair of them instead of one at a time.
Chad nodded and then he went to the other side of my car and noticed Noah reaching out for a baby. “Did Kylie deliver already?”
I sighed. “Hey, Chad. How you doing? Thanks for coming by.” I grabbed my keys and headed into the house. I couldn’t believe that I was trying to tell Noah my issue. My big fucking problem and they were not taking me seriously.
“Dan! What the fuck man? You have a baby in the car and you’re acting as if I gave it to you.”
Noah sighed “Please, don’t call the little man, ‘it’. He’s hungry, wet, and Dan’s not been taking care of him. Seems like he was too busy stalking Laila.”
Chad was puzzled as he shut the door and entered the living room.
Noah did the same, but to change his diaper.
“Laila?” Chad asked as he sat down and then started automatically helping Noah with changing the diaper. He laid down the mat and took off the baby’s clothes like a dad. Like someone who had something to do with babies. Which was something that I had no experience in doing.
“My wife!” I blurted out while heading to the bar to pour myself a drink and then as quick as lightning Chad followed me, taking the glass from my hand. Normally, I drank from the bottle, but I wasn't doing that in front of them. They'll accuse me of having a problem. Something that I knew, but I didn't need a reminder.
“I thought I told you none of that man. It doesn’t do you any good. You need to get rid of anything like that especially with a baby in the house.”
“Why? Is he going to fight me for the bottle?”
He shook his head as he went into the kitchen and started emptying the contents of my very expensive bourbon. He paused and asked, “What’s that smell?”
He sniffed around like a dog and then Noah shouted from the living room, “It’s Dan. I smelled him the moment he came out of his car.”
“No wonder the little man was crying. Shit, you need to shower and quick. And while you’re there you need to shave. What are you? On the run from someone? What’s up with the hair? It’s like you’re trying to hide your face under there or something?”
Before I could reply, not only had Noah magically changed the baby’s diaper, but he was holding the baby in his arms and blurted out, “That’s because he lost his job. I went to his office and they say that he was sacked two weeks ago!”
“Holy crap!”
Wow, when did Chad stop cursing? Okay, so holy crap isn’t exactly better, but he used to say, ‘Fuck’ as if he came out of his mother’s womb blurting out the word.
“Anyway, finish your story about you stalking your ex-wife. She’s not your wife. But your ex,” Noah nodded as I have his undivided attention.
The pair of them stared at me as if I was mad and then on cue, Martin and the bell and opened the door.
“What did I miss?”
I fucking give up.
I shouted loud enough for all of them to hear, “I was in the clinic, waiting for Laila to leave. I don’t know if she did or not, and then the next thing I know there’s a baby next to me. The mom just upped and left the baby with me!”
“And you don't know her?” Noah asked as if he was trying to confirm the story.
I shook my head, I was tempted to say that if I did know her, then I wouldn't be bringing the baby home with me.
Martin asked, “What were you doing in a clinic? And what is that smell?”
Both Noah and Chad pointed to me. Martin backed away.
“Okay, so you were in a clinic and then I assume that you were sitting next to this woman and then she leaves the baby with you?”
I nodded my head, because at last one of my friend’s had figured out what was going on.
Chad asked, “Did she leave a note?”
Noah sighed. “Come on.”
Chad shrugged as he turned and spotted another bottle. This time it was the brandy bottle. Fuck, he’s going to empty the brandy bottle.
“Well, at least Candy left you a note. She didn’t just dump the baby on you. She left a note in the basket saying that you were the dad and his name. This one doesn’t even have a name and Dan keeps calling him, ‘it’!”
All my friends exclaimed at the same time as if I’d committed a cardinal sin. I ignored them.
Martin sighed. “I don’t get it. Why call us? Why bring the baby home? Have you lost your mind?”
Chad shouted, “No, just lost his job!”
We fought for my bottle of brandy. He had the upper hand, because I was too slow.
Martin said, “That explains the smell!”
Noah said, “Dan leave Chad with the bottle. Go shower. We’ve got some figuring out to do. And it starts and ends with this little man. As for you, Dan, we’ll deal with you later.”
Like a child that had been sent to the Principal’s office, I head up the stairs. I blocked my nose as I realized that the guys were right. I stunk. A lot more than I realized before I left home, which felt like a few months ago. Seeing all the trash that blocked me easily heading upstairs, I thought about all the wrongs that I’d done and the baby that I now had the responsibility of taking care of and he wasn’t even mine.
Chapter Three
Dan
I headed into the shower, washed, and came out. The stench that I’d been carrying around wouldn’t go away. I debated whether to use more shower gel, but it wasn’t working. I managed to find a bar of soap and got to work, scrubbing myself from head-to-toe as if my life depended on it. When I finally reached the point where I felt human again, I got out of the shower. My mission didn’t stop there as I shaved my beard. The guys were right, because as I looked in the mirror, I didn’t even recognize my own reflection. I looked bad. Fucking horrible. I just couldn’t stand looking at the face that stared back at me in the mirror. Once I shook my head and saw the dark circles under my eyes, I knew that I’d reached a new all-time low. I shook my head again and struggled to find clean clothes in my closet. I headed down the stairs with my head hung low and found Martin sitting in a partially clean living room. He’d done some cleaning, but there was no baby and the guys had gone.
“Phew, the baby’s gone,” I said as I walked towards him.
He laughed. “You’re kidding right? That baby’s gone with Chad and Noah. They’re going to see if they can get some milk, nappies and whatever else they can find for him. I just don’t get it. What were you thinking?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know.”
I shrugged as I headed to the kitchen. I looked in the fridge and the only thing that wasn’t stale were the bottles of beers. Chad probably got rid of those too. I felt hungry, but I didn’t want to eat. What happened earlier had surely curbed my appetite.
“If you’re looking for alcohol, then you’re looking in the wrong place. I thought that you stopped doing all this destructive shit. I should have paid better attention, but we all have kids. Didn’t think…”
I blurted, “What having a friend like me would involve having another kid?”
He shook his head. “No, that you weren’t getting any better. Then again, to lose your job. That’s gotta hurt. Why did they get rid of you?”
I sat beside him on the stool. “I haven’t been up to scratch for a long time. Making mistakes. Missing appointments. I just fucking come home and there’s an empty house. Every single fucking day. All you guys have families.”
“But Dan, you never wanted a family. That’s why Laila left.”
I shrugged. “Maybe.”
“Shit, it doesn’t work like that. Just because we’re busy with our kids. Wives. Doesn’t mean that you want it cause you haven’t got it. They’re not fucking toys.”
I avoided looking at him, because I knew that he was right. I was talking about their set-up as if they had the new PS5, and I wanted to have one too. The same thing that I used to do when we were kids.
He put a friendly hand on my shoulder. “So, let me get this straight. You followed Laila into the clinic. Then this girl came in after you. And then left her baby. She must have left it with you for a reason.”
I choked. “Cause she’s nuts. Why else would you leave your baby with a man that looks like a hobo?”
He said, “Because that man could possibly be the father of the kid.”
“No, fucking way. I’m not a daddy. I would have known. Besides I haven’t been with anyone since Laila.”
“Shit, nothing about this makes sense. Lucky for you that I’m a lawyer so I can talk to my investigator and maybe he can find out through the security cameras. He has a way of doing things like that. But that’s just a maybe and besides not sure if he’s working today. I’ll make some calls and the guys will be around later.”
I nodded my head thinking that at least we didn’t need to get the police involved for now. But we needed to find its mother, because I sure as hell was barely coping looking after myself. Let alone a baby.
“The guys are bringing the baby around later. Now, in the meantime get this place cleared up!”
I saluted him.
Back in the day he would have laughed, but this time Martin just shook his head as he hesitated leaving. I knew what he was thinking, whether I could be trusted to be left alone.
He grabbed my keys and said, “I’m taking these as a precaution. Just get this place cleaned up. Then we’ll work at getting this poor baby to his mom. Then again if she left him, maybe she’s not in a good state either. What the fuck? This is such a mess. I’ll come round later. Maybe when the guys bring the baby.”
“Fuck, they’re bringing it back?” I screeched at the idea of having to look after a baby. Something that I didn’t want when I was in a relationship, let alone now that I was out of one.
“Why did you follow Laila?” he asked as he ignored my statement and then stood at the door ready to leave, with my car keys in his hand.
“Because, I wanted to know if she was pregnant? I just wanted to see if she’d moved on. I don’t know.”
He nodded. “I’ll be back later.”
My explanation made no sense to him. The crazy part was that I didn’t know either. As I heard his car leaving my driveway, I curled up on the sofa. I was too tired to clean. Let alone clear up this mess. I wanted to go back to my bench and see if I could get my afternoon coffee at Starbucks and pretend that none of this was happening, but I knew that it wasn't an option. Not only had Martin taken my keys, but my wallet too. I was fucking tired and it was only getting to three. But, so much had happened since this morning, and it had taken every last piece of energy out of me, especially as I started to crave for a drink. Just a little bit. Just something to make me forget every inch of my existence.