CHAPTER 18
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NICK
As the two of us drove to Sofia’s father, Kostas’s, house the next morning, Eva and I were both tired. We hadn’t had much sleep the previous night; from the time she jumped into my arms after my joke about the lizards running around on the floor, I hadn’t let go of her. Even as we slept, my arms were wrapped around her waist, holding her close, and my legs were tucked underneath hers.
Kostas was full of apologies. “I should never have asked you to bring the car back for me,” he said. “The gifts could have waited.”
But I was quick to put his mind at ease. “I have a feeling Maria offered rather than you asking for me to do so,” I assured him. He drove us back to the other side of the island, to my house. This time we were in his truck, and he simply wore an old pair of weathered shorts and a white t-shirt. Yesterday he’d looked so dapper in his suit, his thick gray hair combed back neatly, but I got the feeling he was much happier now that the wedding was over, and he could go back to his more comfortable attire. His last daughter was married, and the nest was now empty of fledgling chicks.
Eva sat next to me on the single bench seat in the cabin of the truck. She clung to me tightly as there were no seatbelts to keep us safe. Kostas drove with the calm relaxation of a man who knew the roads well. He was quiet and thoughtful, and I was always curious about what he might be thinking; what was going on behind those deep brown eyes?
Kostas was the inspiration for one of the men in my books: the retired police chief, Jake Morales, is a man Fabian often visits for help when a particular case is getting him down. Jake offers sage advice in a few words, often putting Fabian’s mind at ease.
Finally, we arrived, and we jumped down from the cabin. Kostas honked the horn and drove away, but not before he insisted we take a crate of apricots from the back of his truck. His farm was one of the largest on the island, and I took the crate with thanks.
Lily bounded down the steps, and I was amused to see that the first person she hugged wasn’t me, her father, but Eva.
“Where were you?” she cried. “I thought you’d gotten lost!”
She was already in bed last night by the time I’d called Maria, so I explained how the car got caught in the rain, and we had to stay in a hotel. She looked at me with surprise, then glanced at Eva, and then back at me again.
“Together?” she asked.
I laughed. “Eva said she was happy to sleep on the floor,” I told my all-too-astute daughter. I hadn’t lied, after all. What I hadn’t told her was that Eva hadn’t stayed on the floor for very long.
“Oh, Dad. How could you have let her sleep on the floor? She’s a lady!” Searching for the right words to answer my daughter, Eva jumped in, coming to the rescue.
“I insisted,” she quickly said. “It’s good for my back, and I promise you your father was a perfect gentleman.” That seemed to satisfy Lily’s curiosity, but Eva and I both knew that there was nothing gentlemanly about what I did to her last night. We exchanged a knowing glance and smiled as we made our way to the house.
We were both famished, having passed up the offer of breakfast at the hotel in favor of getting the car back as soon as possible, and thus getting back home in time to enjoy the rest of the day. The wet weather had now stopped, and the sky was completely cloud free. The rain had left the gardens looking lush and vibrant, and the sweet smell of flowers lingered in the air.
Anna shook her head as though in despair at the sight of the two of us, looking a little bedraggled. We’d arrived in the same clothes we’d worn to the wedding the previous day and, as far as the house was aware, we’d slept in them, too. The entire house, of course, save for my aunt. She was sitting in a chair on the back veranda, slowly moving her knee back and forth. When she saw me, she peered at me over the rim of her glasses, raising one eyebrow.
“I thought the drive would only take around an hour, and then the rain came down. Who knew it would pour down like that?” she said innocently, glancing at her wrist where there was only an imaginary watch. “What time is it now?”
I sat down next to her and gave her a peck on the cheek. “You knew exactly what you were doing,” I muttered softly. “You saw a chance to meddle, and you jumped on it like a fat kid on a cupcake. Admit it.” But she only held up her hands in horror at the accusation, then smirked and told me ‘You’re so funny’ before returning her attention to her crossword puzzle.
Anna brought me a cup of fresh hazelnut coffee and a pastry, which I munched down gratefully. Eva was upstairs, taking a shower, Anna said. Maria took this opportunity to ask me what had happened. I shook my head.
“Meddlers don’t get to hear the result of their interfering,” I said, making up my own Greek proverb, although that wasn’t easy. I had no idea what the word for meddling was, so I used people who like to stir the pot instead.
After my hasty breakfast, I too went upstairs and took a shower. I was sad to have to do so, really, as I could still smell the scent of Eva on my body, but once I stepped underneath the steamy water, I closed my eyes and basked in the sensation of it pounding against my skin. I washed my hair and then stepped out, wrapping a towel around my waist. Were it not for my daughter being in the house, I may have been tempted to pad along the hallway to Eva’s bedroom. Of course, I resisted the urge.
Lily wanted to go down to the beach, but the storm of the previous night had whipped up the sea and left it cold and dark. The seaweed that lay on seabed had been washed up by the crashing waves, and the water wasn’t anywhere near as welcoming as usual. My daughter was satisfied with helping Anna bake a cake instead, and I took the time to go and work on my book for a little while.
But I found I couldn’t concentrate. I kept breaking off to sit and think about last night. As I closed my eyes and leaned back in my chair, I was there once more, in the bed, my naked body pressed against Eva’s, feeling every undulation of her form. Taking her once, then twice, then three times wasn’t enough, and by the time the sun was coming up, I still wasn’t satisfied. Even now, after having practically emptied myself inside her, I wanted more.
And yet, at the same time, I had to think about the sobering reality of what it meant for the two of us. I couldn’t deny that since she left me that morning seven years ago without so much as a word, my wounded pride had bothered me greatly. Taking her last night had been a form of justice, a way of giving her some of the hurt I’d been feeling over the years. Holding her down, this time she couldn’t escape. She couldn’t leave me.
She hadn’t wanted to, though. She’d stroked me with the softness of a lover, holding me close, wanting me there. If anything, it felt as though she was worried that I might be the one to leave her. I felt the tables had turned a little, the roles reversed.
Perhaps now, after having her again, explained to her with actions, if not with words, just how much she’d hurt me, maybe now, I could move on. I could accept that the night we’d had was a once-off, something the two of us owed to each other due to the hasty way we’d ended things last time. Of course, it was good sex. Incredible sex, in fact, and I certainly wouldn’t mind doing it again, but the silence had been broken, the hurt somehow healed.
I needed to pull myself together and concentrate on the things that really mattered right now. I had a publisher who was emailing me every day, asking for more and more work. She reminded me often of the obligation I had to the fans, not to mention her and our agreement. And over the last couple of weeks, I’d certainly been distracted by Eva. Perhaps now that the metaphorical bubble had burst, I could settle down and work on the things that needed my attention.
Over dinner that night, Eva often caught my eye, and I smiled at her, but I stopped short of staring too long, of thinking too deeply about how much I wanted to go over and visit her in her room later that evening.
Instead, after dinner, I took Lily into town to an ice cream parlor she liked. If I were truly honest with myself, I’d have to admit that Eva had been on my mind so much since her arrival that I’d not given my daughter the time she deserved. She sat up on a tall stool, and the waitress came over with a smile and asked her what she’d like. Lily reeled off her regular order.
“Two scoops of Madagascan vanilla, please,” she said. “With cherry sauce and sprinkles.”
“Got it,” the waitress said. She looked at me and winked. “And for you?” I thought about it for a couple of seconds, chewing on the inside of my cheek, deep in thought. Finally, I came to a decision.
“One scoop of dark chocolate and one lemon sorbet,” I requested. And then I changed my mind. “Actually, make it a strawberry milkshake.”
Away she went, casting a glance over her shoulder as she left, fluttering her eyelashes. I grinned at her, looking down her body. She was wearing a white uniform and had a deep tan on her skinny, bare legs. Ordinarily, I might have leaned over the counter upon leaving and asked for her number. Now, though, it wouldn’t have been right. Looking at other women made me feel like I was doing something I shouldn’t be.
“Why are strawberries called strawberries?” Lily asked me, as she played with a straw from a dispenser.
“I don’t know,” I said. “Tell me.”
“It’s not a joke,” she said. “I thought you might know the answer.”
“Oh! No, I don’t. It’s a good question. Maybe we can look it up when we get home.”
“You look tired, Daddy.”
“Do I?”
“Was the bed at the hotel not comfortable?”
“Yes. It was fine. Anyway, tell me about the wedding. Did you have a good time with your cousins?”
She chattered to me for a little while, making me laugh and distracting me from the thoughts that were whirling around in my head. The waitress came back with our desserts and for an hour or so, it was good to be on my own with Lily, catching up and being the way we always were with each other: a little goofy, but making sure we were both okay. I knew that she often worried about me, though never as much as I worried about her.
At one point, as I slowly drank my milkshake, I leaned over to stroke her face. “Does it ever make you sad that you grew up without a mom?” I asked, not quite sure where the question came from.
She wrinkled her nose. “Sometimes,” she said. “When the class makes Mother’s Day cards I always make one for you instead, even though it isn’t Father’s Day. But I guess Carrie has the same problem for Father’s Day because she has two moms. We sort of have the same problem, but in reverse.” And she crossed her hands over emphatically, gesturing the concept of reversal.
I laughed and we went back to our desserts. She was so strong, so canny. There was so much I wanted to talk to her about, but also so much I wanted to keep from her, to protect her. I wanted to keep her safe from anything in life that might hurt her. I wanted to watch her grow up, but at the same time, I was desperate to keep her this age, forever innocent.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I took it out, surprised to see who it was.
“Julia,” I said when I answered. “This is a nice surprise.”
My editor never called on a Sunday. She rarely called me at all, preferring to settle for email communication. After brief pleasantries, she began to tell me about how my latest book had just been translated into Greek, and that there was a chance to do some major publicity on the mainland while I was here.
I took a deep breath, but the timing, I felt, was good. A little time away in Athens touring bookshops and meeting some local fans, having some distance from Eva, where we could both collect our thoughts, might do us some good.
It would mean time away from Lily, too, unless I took her with me. I’d have to discuss it with her and with Maria.
“All right,” I said to Julia. “I’ll do it.”