The ceremony is ridiculously sweet. To watch Carousel speak to Hugo for the first time since I’ve met them, with nothing but glowing love in her eyes, reciting the vows she wrote herself—I can’t help the sigh from escaping. Casper, of course, doesn’t waste an opportunity to make fun of me. “Oh, God. I didn’t peg you for the type.”

“What type?”

The officiant announces Hugo and Carousel as husband and wife, then directs Hugo to kiss his bride. The inside of the tent bursts with cheering, applause, and suggestive whistles.

“The girly, romantic type,” Casper says, clapping dutifully.

His cynical assumption can’t spoil the moment. “I can always use a good love story. Something to make me believe in happily-ever-afters.”

“Sorry to burst your bubble, but they don’t exist. This wedding will end. The new mister and missus will go on as they were before, still standing back in the shadows, still fearing for the daughter’s future. Maybe even more so now.”

“Thanks for that lovely description of happiness. You should work for Hallmark.”

“Reality check,” he clarifies, “and sorry, but I refuse to gloss over it. Agreeing with Leo makes me want to choke on my words, but he had a point. This is risky.”

“And you called me an oxymoron? You’re a proponent for life’s joys one minute, and then gravely careful the next.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, the cliffs. We dived off high cliffs into rushing water for the thrill of it. It was fun, and exciting, and well, everything. This wedding is all of that and more for Carousel. It’s her way of celebrating love, and yet you’re against it. Why?”

He considers my answer for a long moment. “I guess, for me, there’s no comparison. We chose to jump off those cliffs. Accidents happen, yes, but you don’t go around courting disaster. It’s like taking a half dose of poison and hoping it doesn’t kill you. Before today, Carousel had no reason to fear for her own life. Now, she does.”

I hate to admit it, but I see where he’s coming from. I don’t agree with it, but I understand it. The whole situation just sucks. “It’s not fair. They deserve to have moments like these.”

He brushes his hand over my cheek, his eyes tightening at the corners. “No one is questioning their worthiness, Mila. They deserve every star in the sky, as far as I’m concerned. Life just doesn’t work that way.”

I hate that it doesn’t.

The bridal party makes their way back down the aisle, the photographer snapping pictures as they exit. The rest of us head into the next area of the tent for cocktails and appetizers. I stare out into the sea of wedding guests, dazedly watching them make their way over.

What kind of life do I have to look forward to? Unless the killer is caught, I’ll always be looking over my shoulder. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to do this, to get married, to have a wedding of my own, a family of my own.

“Hey, stop it with the frowny face,” Casper orders me. “You’re killing the fairytale vibes.”

Maybe it’s not all bad.

Casper went through hell and back, and he came out on the other side, living his life like there may not be a tomorrow.

“What keeps you going?” I ask him, thinking about everything he told me at the river. “I mean, what makes your life full?”

He doesn’t even have to think about the question. “The small things. The rushes of gambling. Visiting places I’ve never been. Good food. Good sex. Definitely good sex.”

I smile. “Appreciate the emphasis.”

“Anytime. Oh, and diving off cliffs.” He winks. “That’s always fun.”

“These are all things that make you happy?”

He nods.

“But you don’t care about relationships? Marriage? The possibility of starting your own family?”

He offers his elbow. I take it, and we follow everyone into the next room. I’m so hooked on hearing Casper’s answer, I don’t notice the people around me. I’m not sure why it’s so important, but it is.

“Attachment is where everything goes to hell. You get too attached, and you lose the beauty of the moment. Suddenly everything is permanent, the same person invading your space day after day, so why take the time to enjoy their presence? You know they’ll be there tomorrow, so why slow down?”

I don’t like where he’s going with this. It goes against what I believe in, and it also makes me take a hard look at my attachment to him. It’s there. I can feel it just as easily as I can feel the air filling my lungs. I’ve become attached to Casper. Maybe too attached. “What about loyalty?” I ask, grasping for something, one shred of proof that he has the ability to care. “Isn’t that worth anything?”

He shrugs. “I’m loyal to myself. I’m the only person I can really depend on.”

I frown, hating every part of what he’s saying. I don’t feel that way about him. Holy crap, am I falling in love with this guy? The same guy that talks about things like love and marriage as if they’re obsolete?

I look down at my chest, staring at my heart as if there’s something wrong with it. Why? Out of all the men on this planet, why beat for him?

Viviana appears, interrupting my rampant thoughts. Her camera is strapped over her shoulder. She snaps a quick picture, momentarily blinding me from the flash. “Warning, please,” I say, blinking.

“Then it wouldn’t look natural.” She lets the camera fall against her hip. “Sorry, Casper, but you’ll have to hand my sister over.”

“Run, Mila,” Casper warns. “You’re about to be fed to the wolves.”

I don’t miss the irony in that metaphor.

“Very funny, asshole.” Viviana steps between us, unhooking my arm from Casper’s. “You can have her back later.”

He looks so lost it’s almost laughable. “Don’t let later turn into never,” he says.

“I won’t,” I promise, standing up on tip-toes to kiss him on the cheek. I give him a sly smile. Romance has its perks.

Before I leave, he leans close to my ear, so only I can hear him. “The sooner you get through this, the sooner we can get out of here.”

My cheeks feel hot as I walk away, remembering what he has planned.

Viviana raises a brow at our exchange, but she doesn’t comment on it. I already know how she feels anyway. She tried to warn me off days ago, before Casper told me about Evie.

“Come on, let’s hit the bar before we begin,” she says, tugging me inside the other room of the tent. “Drinks are definitely needed in order to get through the assembly line of family members waiting to meet you.”

“Whoa.” I look up, stopping in my tracks. Viviana stops too, and we both stand there in amazement. Every inch of this room is dripping with beauty in the form of Grecian towers, tables covered in pretty glassware and china, hanging greenery and flowers, thousands more twinkle lights, and there, in the middle of it all is an actual carousel, spinning to the tune of carnival music.

“This is beautiful,” I say, looking around.

Viviana smiles with tears in her eyes. “Care is getting her dream wedding. This place looks like it was created from a dream, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, it really does.”

She stops a server walking around with a bottle of wine. “Is that—my goodness, it is. May I?” The server nods, handing her the bottle. She inspects the label closely, waving me over to take a look. “Mila, this is a seventy-year-old bottle. It came from our old vineyard in Italy, one of the last barrels they ever produced.”

Upon closer inspection, I notice name Serra on the label. Everything else is in Italian.

“Daddy had a large supply he’d been saving for a special occasion. This must be his gift to Uncle Hugo.”

“Nice gift.” Understatement of the century.

“May we have a glass?” she asks the server.

He nods and pours us each one. Viviana does the whole swirling, sniffing thing like a true connoisseur while my feeble attempts at mimicking her almost make me spill it. I better just drink the wine before it decides I’m not worthy and jumps from my glass.

Viviana moans as she sips. “Heaven in a glass.” She holds it up like it’s the holy grail.

It is good.

I don’t know the technical terms. Fruity? Full-bodied? Smooth finish? Oh, who gives a crap. It just tastes good.

“Vivvy, darling,” says a tiny elderly woman wearing a flashy gold sequined dress and way too much makeup. “Is this our Amelia?”

Viviana grins and collapses the old woman into a tight embrace. “Auntie, it’s so nice to see you.” And then to me, she says, “Milly, this our great aunt, Zita.”

“Skip the great part, dear,” Zita says with a shudder. “Makes me sound stupidly old.”

“Hate to break it to you, Auntie, but you’re pushing ninety. You are old.”

“Ha! You’re just as bad mannered as I remember, Vivvy. I’ve missed you.”

And so it begins.

* * *

Meeting the Serras makes me feel like Harry Potter when Hagrid brings him to Hogwarts for the first time. I’m the Girl Who Lived. All these years, I’ve been hiding in secret with the muggles, and now that I’m back, everyone is curious. I should check my forehead for scars—okay, I really need to stop it with these H.P. references. Living in Siena’s room is causing me to lose touch with reality.

My father is one of five children. Apparently, Gran stayed very busy during her married life. The eldest is my aunt, Alessandra, who goes by Allie. She’s an elegant fifty something obstetrician with two adult daughters, Isabella and Sofia. Isabella is married, with two rambunctious toddlers of her own. It’s an unspoken rule that no one ever says where they live, but I overhear Aunt Allie speaking to Sofia in French, leading me to believe they live in France or some nearby country in Europe.

My dad, Lorenzo, is the next eldest, followed by his brother Giovanni, who is still considered either missing or dead—a highly debated topic between family members. If he’s alive, he didn’t bother showing up for the wedding. Next in line is Uncle Hugo, the man of the hour. Every time I catch glimpses of him and his bride, they’re both beaming.

And finally, there’s Uncle Adriel, the youngest. Adriel doesn’t look like he belongs in this family. I mean, we’re a relatively attractive bunch, but Adriel looks like he should be brothers with Joe Manganiello. Clearly, he got the good genes—he’s the tallest of them, muscular, and handsome in that chiseled everywhere kind of way. Tagging along with him is his seventeen-year-old “friend,” Luca, who everyone knows is his son, but no one acknowledges it. Luca is the spitting image of a younger Adriel, but he’s rocking a pompadour and Chucks with his suit.

“Uncle Adriel is only thirty-three,” Viviana explains as the two of them approach.

“The possible mafioso, I remember.”

Viviana smirks. “Yeah, no. Try single father of one pain-in-the-ass teenager. He didn’t know about Luca for most of his life. He only found out about him a few years ago, after Luca’s mom passed away from cancer. From what I’ve heard, Adriel didn’t want to take him in, but the kid had nowhere else to go. So he agreed to take care of him as long as they kept his parentage a secret.”

“Some secret,” I say, and Viviana laughs.

“I know, right? It’s almost ridiculous when you only have to look at the two of them to know the truth.”

“At least Adriel is trying to do the right thing.” I idly tap the stem of my wine glass. “Unlike, you know, our own dad.” The conversation I had with him earlier is still bugging me. I’d been waiting to finally meet him, to finally hear what he had to say, but I don’t feel any better about it than I did before.

Viviana looks like she wants to say something, but Adriel has already caught up to us, along with his mini-me.

“Let me guess,” Luca mutters. “We’re related to them, too.” His shoulders are slumped, and he stares through us as if he’s bored.

“Cousins,” Adriel bites out, then smiles politely. “It’s nice to meet you, Amelia.”

“You as well.” I shake his hand, then try to shake Luca’s. He looks away, showing absolutely no interest in shaking my hand. Rude.

I lower my hand awkwardly.

Maybe he didn’t notice.

“We met once before,” Viviana says to Luca, as if he should remember. “At Izzy’s baby’s christening two years ago, remember?”

Luca meets her gaze with a blank one. “Yeah, sure.”

It’s obvious he remembers nothing.

“And then again during Christmas,” she grinds out through clenched teeth. She’s smiling politely, but it’s forced. “You guys spent the holidays in London. Remember?”

He shrugs.

Absolutely nothing.

Adriel clears his throat. “Why don’t you go find our table, Luca.”

“Whatever.” He walks away, muttering something about weddings being stupid and pointless under his breath.

Little shithead.

“Sorry about him,” Adriel says as soon as he’s gone.

“No worries,” I say politely. “We were teenagers once too.” Nice, respectable, upstanding teenagers.

“He’s in that rebellious stage. I remember mine. In fact,” Adriel coughs, rubbing the back of his neck. “Luca is the consequence of that stage.”

Viviana and I exchange a surprised look. He’s admitting to his parentage in a roundabout way, which she just said he never did.

“Anyway, it’s good to see you both. Amelia, I hope you’re not too overwhelmed. This family can be…”

“Daunting?” I supply for him.

He grins. “Yes, exactly. I’ll catch up with the two of you later.”

The night continues on like this, family member after family member. Casper tries to make his way back to me a few times, but someone always steers me away before he gets his chance. It doesn’t help that we’re seated at two different tables, both on opposite sides of the room from one another. A coincidence? Probably not.

After dinner is over, they announce the speeches. Siena gives a sweet one, telling her parents how much she loves them. Carousel cries, of course, but someone knew her well enough to supply a box of tissues on her table. She dabs the corners of her eyes.

My dad gives the shortest speech in the history of speeches. “Congratulations,” he says, a ghost of a smile at his lips. “This was a long time coming. I love you both and wish you every happiness.”

The crowd is waiting for more, but Renzo passes on the mic, leaving us all scratching our heads. Guess that’s all, folks. The entirety of his best man’s speech in two short sentences.

Leo is the last to go, and for someone who is usually so serious, he begins his speech with lots of humor. “I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say how bloody grateful we are that Care is speaking directly to Hugo again.” The room explodes with snickering. “Trying to relay her long diatribes was exhausting for everyone involved.”

At the end, he adds a note of seriousness by saying they were the best guardians. He tells them how much he loves them and looks up to them. I catch Viviana tearing up at that part. It’s obvious Carousel and Hugo are more than just guardians. They are the closest thing he and Viviana have to parents.

After the speeches are over, Casper suddenly appears, slipping his hand over mine. “Time’s up.”

“No way. There’s still a few people she hasn’t met,” Viviana argues.

“I’d like to dance with my date, Viv,” he practically growls. “This is a wedding, right?”

She looks around, smoothing out the skirt of her dress. “I suppose the ambush is over,” she says, reaching for her wine glass. “You can have her back—for now.”

What is going on with her? I make a mental note to wheedle it out later. Even as Madelyn, she could never keep secrets for very long.

Casper pulls me from my seat, draping his arm around me. He gently pushes me in the direction of the dance floor, and by gentle, I mean with the force of a bulldozer. “Come on, Baby Serra, let’s make a run for it. Get the hell out of here while we have the chance.”

“You said you wanted to dance.”

“That was just my excuse to get you away.”

“But it was a good one.”

The band is playing something soft and romantic. There are a few other couples out there, swaying to the melodies, including Hugo and Carousel.

Casper drops his shoulders. “Fine,” he says, trying to sound super reluctant about it. I’m pretty sure he’s not as opposed to dancing as he’s coming off, and I’m also pretty sure he planned this all along. After all, he’s the one that led us here.

He wraps his arms around my waist, I wrap mine around his shoulders, and we fall into a steady step. The last time I danced with anyone was with Ethan during an Oltek charity ball. He held me with clunky arms, and he kept stepping on my toes, chipping my nail polish. Casper is already a thousand times better. My body conforms naturally against his. I feel like a starry-eyed teenager at prom.

His voice cuts into my fuzzy daze. “How’s it going out there, by the way?”

“Great. Everyone is really nice.” Well, except for that little shithead, Luca.

“Glad to hear it.”

A few seconds pass by. “Ready to get out of here now?” he asks, hopeful, and I burst out laughing.

“Impatient much?”

“To get you in my bed? Fuck, yeah.”

My cheeks warm as I look around the glittering reception. There’s something so sweetly perfect about this moment, and even though Casper is trying to rush through it, I want to hang on for a little longer. There may not be many more of these, after all.

“Have you seen anything suspicious tonight?” I ask, unable to stop myself.

He backs up to look at my face. “No. Have you?”

I shake my head. “Nothing.”

“You shouldn’t worry. Hugo and Care pulled off their ultra-secret wedding. I scouted the area while Davey went out for a smoke. The bouncer at the entrance isn’t the only security. Several more surround the place. It’s well secured.”

Hearing him talk about the security guards takes away from the magic, reminding me of how many precautions it took for my aunt and uncle to be here.

“Hey, are you okay?” Casper asks, sounding concerned.

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. Spill.”

“It’s just hitting me,” I swallow, “I’m next on the hit list of the same monster they’re trying to keep out.”

He stares at me, struggling to speak. “Mila, if I could kill him myself…”

“It’s okay,” I say, stopping him. “I know you would.”

Resting my head against his jacket, I breathe in the scent of his cologne, sighing.

“Hey, none of that.” He takes my hand and twirls me out in an obvious effort to cheer me up.

It works. “You got some moves, huh?”

“A few.” He dips me backward, and my breath hitches. Then he slowly pulls me upright.

My heart thumps against my chest, telling me what I wish I could tell him out loud. To put all my cards out there, like he did. I could tell him, I think. I should tell him. And why not? How many more moments like this will there be? The killer could break into my room again, finishing what he started. Next time, he might succeed. And if I die, Casper will never know how I feel.

“Hey, Casper?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you remember telling me I’m not meant to die? That I’m meant to live and do everything life has to offer?”

“I remember,” he says, drawing me close against him, his mouth right above my ear. “You can do whatever you want. I swear it to you.”

I close my eyes for a second, taking a deep breath.

“What if what I want is to fall in love?” I say, spitting out the words before I lose what little nerve I have. “The kind of love that is hopeless and irrevocable and makes me feel like I’m sacrificing a piece of my soul in the hope that it might be returned?”

His muscles stiffen beneath my fingertips. “You don’t have to fall in love to learn how to live, Mila.”

“I don’t think you can have one without the other.” I look up at him. “There is no living without loving. The things you said during the ceremony really bothered me. They’re so opposite of how I feel. You say you hate attachment, but every cell in my body is already attached to you.”

He listens quietly. Intently. Never taking his eyes off of me.

“I’m falling in love with you, Casper.”

“Don’t say that.” He shakes his head. “Please don’t say that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t know what I’d do with your love, Mila. I’d just ruin it.”

The sound of his voice, lacking all emotion, breaks me.

God, this isn’t what anyone hopes to hear after confessing how they feel. My heart stops pounding wildly, and I feel a numbness spread over my skin.

What did I expect?

I can’t be angry. I don’t have the right to be angry. Casper has been upfront and honest from the beginning. He told me he wasn’t going to stop what was happening, but clearly, I’ve crossed into territory he had no interest in ever going.

It’s weird though. Casper’s actions have never totally matched up to his words. It’s one thing to care about my life—he cares about Viviana’s and Leo’s lives too. But it’s another to go up against my dad, to escort me to London, to be there when I need him, to take me to the cliffs, to train me, and everything else he’s done since we left Florida. He’s been there, fighting for me every step of the way. Even when he tried to break things off, he spent his time pursuing a possible lead in hopes of tracking down the Serra killer. All for me.

“I don’t believe you.”

“What?” he asks, sounding just as shocked as I am.

I step back, pushing his arms away. “The only thing you’re ruining is us.”

“That’s not what I…” He runs a hand through his hair, trying to speak, but he can’t get the words out. “Mila…you can’t put this on me. You can’t be in love with me.”

I press my lips together. “You don’t get to control my emotions, Casper, but go ahead and humor me. Tell me why.”

He looks around, searching for the right words. “Look, maybe we’re both getting in over our heads.” He exhales a long breath.

Okay. Now I’m angry.

“So I’m only good enough for a short time? I have an expiration date?”

“That’s not what I’m saying.”

“That’s exactly what you’re saying. You told me you wanted everything. This is everything.”

He frowns, his hands falling to his sides. “Like me, Mila. Lust after me. Have fun with me. Hell, use me if you want. But don’t waste your love on me.”

“You know what, I should go. There are still other family members here I haven’t met.”

His eyes darken. “Don’t do this.”

“I’ll see you later.” Maybe. I doubt I’ll feel like speaking to him later.

“Mila, don’t walk away.”

I turn around and do just that, leaving a piece of me back there with him on that dance floor. The worst part? He doesn’t stop me.