“Can we go see Reed tonight?” Angie asked her when she was cooking dinner and slamming pots and pans around. Thankfully her daughter was too young to understand her mood.
“No.”
“I want to see Reed,” Angie said, getting ready for a pout.
“I said no. I’m not sure when you’ll see him again.”
This was no time to talk to her daughter about assholes and men forming their own opinions without getting all the facts. Those days would come soon enough. She just hoped her daughter didn’t have as shitty taste in men as she had.
She’d heard a few sniffles and turned to see tears on Angie’s face and knew darn well she might shed some of her own, but tears had never helped before and they wouldn’t now. What she needed now was a drink, but she didn’t have any alcohol in the house.
“Go wash your hands and clean your face. There is no reason to cry,” she said with a forced smile. As much as she didn’t want to lie to her daughter, she was learning there was a time and a place for it and this was one of those times. “I’m sure you’ll see him again soon. Dinner will be on the table when you’re cleaned up.”
Angie wiped a small hand under her nose and ran down the hall to do as she was told.
Dinner was quiet, but it normally was. It was hard to have an in-depth conversation with a three-year-old.
The nighttime routine was what Taylor needed. The two of them watched TV together, then Angie played in the bath, and a story was read at bedtime. Once Taylor had taken a shower and cried all her tears out in the steam, she’d gotten ready for bed herself.
She was hoping Reed would call or text her, but he didn’t and she was damn well not making the first move. If he wanted to cast blame or false accusations, then more power to him. She didn’t need that headache in her life.
***
Several days had gone by and Taylor had made no attempt to contact him at all. He was starting to wonder if maybe he shouldn’t have jumped down her throat like that. That maybe he should have just calmly asked her what it was about.
But he’d been there and done that before.
He’d been lied to.
He’d been cheated on.
He’d been made a fool.
Didn’t Jack warn him that Taylor was nothing but a gold digger? Maybe she liked to find a man with money and see if she could find a way down easy street.
And when those thoughts popped into his head, he had to remind himself that he was the one that wanted more of a relationship, not her.
He was the one that had to push for it.
He was the one that approached her first.
And he was the one that all but begged to meet her daughter when she didn’t want to get serious. When she didn’t want to worry about exactly what was happening.
He wondered how Angie was doing right now. He’d gotten close to her. He loved seeing her and playing with her. He’d love to spend more time with her.
But he’d have to talk to her mother first.
What if Taylor was pregnant? Was he going to let his actions keep them apart?
Maybe it was an accident. He’d always been protected, but he knew nothing was one hundred percent safe.
Not only that, if he was going to be a father, he was going to be an active one!
So why hadn’t Taylor contacted him to let him know? Was it just a scare and she wasn’t pregnant and now whatever they’d had was gone because he’d been an ass?
There was only one way to find out. So on Saturday morning, he sucked it up and drove over when he knew Angie would be gone. He didn’t need the distraction of the little angel that had stolen his heart along with her mother.
He saw Taylor’s SUV in the driveway and pulled in behind it, got out and knocked on the door.
Mutt was barking up a storm and he hoped the dog hadn’t turned against him too.
It wasn’t long before Taylor flung the door open and put a hand on her hip. “What do you want? Come to accuse me of embezzling money from the business now?”
He figured he had that coming. “No. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for reacting the way I did a few days ago. Can I come in so we can talk?”
“Not if you’re going to yell or not listen to me. You can take your butt right back to your truck and drive away if that is the case.”
He felt his lips twitch and it just reminded him that he’d always appreciated her honesty and straightforwardness and wondered why he doubted anything in the past several days. “I’ll listen.”
She opened the door wider. “Start talking.”
“First off, are you pregnant?” He had to know that first and foremost.
“No. Nor did I think I was. I bought that test for Wendy. She didn’t want to go in and be seen. She figured no one knew me. Guess she was wrong because someone did. Who was it? It was the guy in the Chapman shirt, right? He’s a friend of yours? Did you tell him we were dating when we said we weren’t going to tell anyone?”
He could lie, but wouldn’t. It wasn’t right and not fair to her, but he knew Josh might get his butt reamed over this. The relief he thought he’d feel that she wasn’t pregnant just wasn’t there. Somewhere in the past few days, he’d started envisioning himself with a child. With a reason to keep Taylor in his life.
“Yes. It was Josh. He and I have been friends since high school. He’s been with me through all the ups and downs and dark stages in my life. And no, though I confide in him with almost everything, he doesn’t know about us. He’s got a memory like an elephant and knew you shared an office with Wendy. He likes to gossip and he just was doing that. Making assumptions and I jumped on what he was saying.”
“Because of my situation with Jack?”
“Yeah,” he said, feeling the heat of shame smacking him in the face. “It was wrong and I apologize for it.”
“I get you were burned. I don’t know everything that happened with you and Whitney and it’s none of my business. I’ve told you enough about Jack and why I don’t trust men or relationships, and yet I opened myself up to you anyway.”
“And all it did was prove why you felt the way you did, right?” he asked.
“Exactly.”
“Then let me tell you about Whitney so you know. So we can start fresh and clear the air.”
“You don’t have to tell me,” she said, crossing her arms. But he did because she was still ticked off and he was hoping that something might get her to understand.
“I want to. I think I need to. It doesn’t excuse what I did days ago, but I need to get this off my chest so there are no secrets on my end.”
“I can tell you right now the only secret I had was Angie and you know why it was. I’ve got nothing to hide.”
“I realized that too. And I understand why you hid her once I thought about it more.”
She’d always put her daughter first. All the times they’d gone out, she’d never talked about money or life being hard as an adult. She always said she had a great job and she just wanted a stable life for Angie and that she had it.
She walked over and sat down on her couch and nodded her head for him to follow. “I’ve got all day if you want to spill your guts.”
“It will probably feel like that when I’m done. I’ll give you the condensed version. Whitney was the it girl in school. When we started junior high, I saw her in English class and it was instant love. Massive crush, along with half the boys in our grade. She wouldn’t give me the time of day. All she wanted was older boys and that was all she ever dated.”
“I know that type,” Taylor said.
“Every class has one. She went through a lot of boys, and each time she was single, I’d hope she’d notice me.”
“Please don’t tell me you never dated anyone else, just waiting for her?”
“Hardly. But nothing was serious either. Anyway, I chose to forget all the people she dated or the fact that there were rumors that she’d never end a relationship before she started another one.”
“So a serial cheater.”
“Pretty much. She went away to college and came back a lawyer. She got a job at a prestigious firm and was working her way up. We bumped into each other in a bar one night and went home together.”
She snorted. “Been there, done that.”
He laughed. “Whitney didn’t end up pregnant. We used condoms at first and then once we were dating for about a year she’d said she was on the pill. I was so in love with her. That schoolyard crush just grew and I kept thinking, ‘holy shit, I got my girl.’”
“But you really didn’t have her,” Taylor said. “Did you?”
“No. She was good at lying. I asked her to marry me. I didn’t want her to slip away. She’d said yes. The funny thing is, we never lived together. I kept bringing it up, but she wanted to keep her apartment. I just never questioned it since she was always working so much. Fifty to sixty hours a week, leaving early, coming home late. She didn’t want to disturb me, she said.”
“I didn’t expect you’d fall for that.”
“Love is blind.” And now he was realizing that he never really loved Whitney at all. Not like what he felt for Taylor. “Little by little we were talking less to each other. She was working; I was working. It’d be days without communication. She traveled a lot too and time differences made it hard.”
“Like when she was in Bali?” she asked.
“Yeah. I’ll never forget that day. Rachel called me and asked if I knew what was going on there. I’d heard a bit on the news but wasn’t really thinking much about it. She wanted to know if I’d talked to Whitney. She’d been shocked when I said I hadn’t. Rachel never really approved of our relationship.”
“I can see that. Your sister is a bit protective.”
“She likes you though,” he said.
“You told her about us?” she asked, her voice rising.
“She’s seen us together. She knows we’re friends. All along she suspected something else, but I didn’t confirm or deny. No, no one in my family really knows anything other than we’re friends, though I get the feeling they are hoping for more.”
She grimaced. “Your father has popped in a few times and made comments, but I brush them off. I just don’t want to be judged.”
“Yet that is exactly what I did.” He reached for her hand. “I’m sorry I did that. I didn’t mean it.”
She nodded. “Tell me more about Whitney and what happened.”
“When Hurricane Nina hit, I panicked. I couldn’t get through. The lines were all down. I finally called her office to see what hotel she was staying at. They were shocked and said they’d been hoping I knew what was going on, that she wasn’t in Bali for work but went with a friend on vacation.”
“Oh.”
“I didn’t know who that friend was until the news broke that two local people had died there. It wasn’t hard to put it together. Not to mention I went to her apartment to look for anything to tell me where she was staying. I found condoms again. Flowers, cards. Little things from someone named Chad. Then when the guy that died was named in the newspapers and his name was Chad...that sealed it.”
“That had to be hard. That everyone would have known and known publicly.”
“It wasn’t just that she cheated on me. My ego suffered big time for that. Why wasn’t I good enough? What did I do wrong? Then I started to remember all the things about her when she was younger and realized that she’d never changed. That she never grew up. She’d probably planned on breaking things off with me soon. We hadn’t really even started wedding planning yet and had only been engaged a few months. But the worst part was—I got curious about this guy Chad. I started to dig into him and I shouldn’t have. I should have left well enough alone.”
“I would think it’s only natural to want to know about him. What did you find out?”
“He was an architect at my biggest competitor. We’d lost a few bids on projects to this company and I started to wonder if she was giving him information on things. She’d never talked much about my work or never really seemed all that interested, but months prior she’d asked me all sorts of odd questions. She’d say it was helping her with work. I didn’t think anything of it. ”
“Was it about her work? Or was she really feeding him information?”
“Both. She was representing their firm. She wanted them to get those bids. It was all about making partner in the law firm for her. She didn’t just make a fool of me by cheating on me, but she played me for her own personal and career gains too.”
“I guess I’m confused why she agreed to marry you then.”
“No clue and I never got a chance to ask her. It wouldn’t matter anyway. I went to her funeral and put on a good face. I pushed all my animosity aside and did what everyone would have expected. It was probably a good thing I didn’t find out about Chad and his job and their relationship until months later.”
“It was the right thing to do. It probably gave you closure.”
“Enough. But I was livid. Everyone knew she pretty much was screwing someone behind my back. No one wants to look like a fool. I turned to alcohol and women. I did it for years.”
“Until the last year?” Taylor asked. “I remember you told me you were sick of it. Sick of that life.”
“I was. At the heart of it, I’m a family man. I let my anger over one woman’s actions turn me on a different course. Then I had a hard time changing directions. Surprisingly though, you caught my eye. You were what I needed. After that first night at the Brittens’, you were what I wanted and I just had to find a way to get you to see that too. But I knew you felt the same way about relationships as I did. Or as I thought I did.”
“Friends with benefits?” she asked. “That was all a ploy for more? Why?”
He reached for her hand, threading their fingers together. “Because I started to feel emotions I’d locked away for years releasing when I was with you. When I thought of you. I’d do just about anything to get you to agree to spend time with me. It worked.”
Her eyes were starting to fill with tears and he hoped that was a good sign and not a bad one. “You did wear me down. Then you tore me apart. I can’t do this again, Reed.”
“I know,” he said. “I’m so sorry. I won’t do it again. I promise. I love you. Just tell me if you think you could ever love me back.”
She pulled him into her arms. “I already do.”
He held her tighter than he meant to when he felt her squirming and then giggling. “Then maybe we can stop having secrets and tell everyone about our love for each other?”
“Maybe we should,” she said. “Maybe if the secrets end we can move forward.”
“I want to do that. I want to move forward with you.”