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Army Ranger with Benefits (the Men of At-Ease Ranch) by Michaels, Donna (23)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Vince’s heart slammed into his ribs a second before he stepped toward the side door, intending to escape outside.

Cord stood in front of it with his arms folded across his chest. When the hell had the guy moved there? He glanced at the swinging door that led to the dining room. Brick smiled from his post in front of it.

Yeah, he wasn’t getting past him, either.

“Fine,” he said, leaning against the counter. “But you’re wasting your time on me.”

“You are not a waste of time, Vince,” Beth said.

Leo stood across from him with his back against the island. “We can see you’re in pain. You’re quiet. Closed up. You and Emma were dating for real when I left. What happened?”

He stared at his buddies and knew from the staunch set of their shoulders and determined gleam in their eyes, the only way to get back to cooking was to start talking.

He shrugged. “Stephan happened.”

Leo leaned forward. “He finally asked her out?”

“Yes.” Dom had confirmed it when Vince called last night to let him know he’d arrived at the ranch. “But before that, Stephan opened my eyes to the fact I was being selfish.”

The room erupted in protests.

“Bullshit.”

“No way.”

“Not you.”

He shook his head. “I was only thinking of myself when I got involved with her. We both knew I was going to leave upfront, but I should never have crossed that damn line with her in the first place.” He shoved a hand through his hair. “That’s all on me.”

“No,” Jovy said. “It’s not. You weren’t the only one involved. The only one consenting.”

Fierce emotion shined in his buddy’s eyes as he gazed at his bride-to-be. Oh, right. She’d moved to Joyful to be with Stone.

The man in question shook himself out of his adoration long enough to eye Vince. “Did you at least try talking to Emma about continuing with some sort of relationship?”

He blew out a breath. “No.”

Leo frowned. “What? Why not? I got the impression you liked being with her.”

“I did. I do.” He straightened from the counter and shook his head. “But if I did ask her to continue with a long-distance thing, it doesn’t change the fact I’m not leaving here. She’d have to come here, and there’s no way I’m putting that on her shoulders.”

Beth sighed. “No, Vince. You are.” She walked over and placed her hand on his arm. “You had no right to take her choice away. Chances are, Emma would’ve been happy to eventually come here because this is where you are. Where you belong.”

He shook his head at the woman who had also done exactly that for her fiancé, Brick. He was sensing a trend. And yet… “It’s not right to ask her to give up everything for me.”

Jovy lifted a shoulder and slid her arm around Stone. “Still, it’s her choice.”

Guilt and pain mixed to sink like lead in his gut. “And if she came, and realized down the road it was a mistake? Or worse, blamed me for taking her away from everything she knew and loved?”

No way could he live with that.

“Maybe you are her everything,” Haley said quietly. “Or could be, given half the chance. But you didn’t give her that chance, did you?”

“And what if she didn’t blame you?” Cord asked. “I think you need to ask yourself something, Vince, and be honest. Are you sure you’re not just running scared? I did it without realizing.” His buddy draped his arm around Haley and drew her near. “Luckily, I had good friends to help me see things clearly, and a good woman to forgive me.”

Vince blinked. “Are you saying I deliberately walked away from Emma because I’m falling for her?”

Cord raised a brow. “Did you?”

Leo folded his arms across his chest. “And are you?”

Christ, he could barely breathe again.

“Loving someone makes you vulnerable,” Cord continued. “And open for pain if they leave. Or die.” He looked at Haley, a sad smile on his lips.

Vince stared down at the floor and contemplated what they were saying. He’d loved Connie and losing her had ripped everything out of him. He swore he’d never let anyone get that close again. Except someone did.

Emma.

Old hurts and new ones instantly collided, wrapping around Vince’s chest like a thick, steel chain.

“Bowing out was probably the most selfish thing you could’ve done,” Stone said. “It kept your heart safe. Guarded. So it couldn’t get too invested and possibly go through the pain of loss again. Because loss happens to everyone. You know that better than most.”

Feeling like he’d been sucker punched in the gut, Vince sank back against the counter again, slowly shaking his head. The thought of losing Emma like he had Connie knocked him on his ass.

God, is that what he’d done? Got scared because Emma got too close?

Had he hidden behind the noble deed to step aside so she could be happy all to safeguard his heart? To eliminate the risk of ever having to go through the pain and grief of losing someone he loved again?

Ah, hell…he left her before she could leave him.

Tipping back his head, he stared at the ceiling while his mind tried to process everything his friends had just pointed out. He’d done so many things wrong. Kept his feelings to himself. Never gave her a choice. Deserted her. Bottom line, he didn’t like what it all said about his character.

He was a coward.

Christ. He never should’ve left Georgia without talking things out with Emma.

Realizing the room had gone quiet and all eyes were on him, he straightened and blew out a breath. “Not sure there’s ever been a bigger screwup than me.”

“Nah.” Stone shook his head. “Brick screwed up massively with Beth and she forgave his sorry ass.”

Vince glanced at the sorry ass who now stood by the island with his arm around Beth.

“I’d argue, but you’re right.” Brick grinned, hugging his fiancée close.

Haley set her head on Cord’s shoulder. “There are two people in a relationship, Vince. Both parties usually share blame. Trust me.”

“What are you going to do?” Leo asked.

“What I should’ve done.” He straightened his shoulders. “Talk to her.”

Brick grinned. “Right now?”

He shook his head. “I’d rather do it in person.” Emma deserved a face-to-face explanation for his desertion. He met Leo’s gaze. “Can you take my sorry ass back to the airport on Sunday?”

His buddy grinned. “No problem.”

“Sunday?” Jovy frowned. “Vince, don’t think you need to wait because of the wedding. You can go tomorrow.”

He smiled at the bride-to-be. “Thanks. I appreciate that. But I’d never miss witnessing you marry Stone. Besides, Emma’s supposed to go to that gala with Stephan on Saturday, and I think she needs to go. She needs to see for herself he isn’t right for her. Twenty years from now, I don’t want her wondering what might-have-been if she had gone on that damn date.”

Haley squeezed his arm. “You’re a good man, Vince.”

Beth smiled. “The best.”

Brick frowned down at her. “Last night, you told me I was the best.”

Beth elbowed the sorry ass in the ribs.

Then Jovy moved in to replace Haley. “Just remember, although women don’t need men thinking for us, we screw up, too. I can guarantee you, Emma has regrets.”

Not that Vince wished that on Emma, but it did give him a bit of hope. Maybe she’d at least hear him out on Sunday.

Saturday morning, Emma stood staring at herself in the mirror. The cobalt-blue dress she’d bought for the gala brunch two months ago, with all the excitement of a girl going to her first prom, didn’t even spark a flicker of joy today.

Neither did going to the brunch. In fact, she’d thought about backing out a few times since Stephan had asked on Monday. The two enthusiastic phone calls she’d received from her mom that week were all that had kept her quiet.

Besides, she owed it to herself to go, otherwise, she’d always wonder if she’d missed out by not following through with the long-awaited date. Straightening her dress, she thought about her conversation with Macy before leaving work.

After putting away her headset, she’d glanced at the woman. “What’s wrong?”

“You tell me,” Macy said. “It’s finally here. Your big date with Stephan. How do you feel?”

She’d felt nothing. Since Vince left, she’d operated on autopilot. Emma tried to resurrect a smidgen of joy, but failed, so she shrugged.

“And if Vince was taking you?”

Pain had ricocheted through her chest. “Since that’s not feasible, there’s no need to answer.”

“Girlfriend, it’s the twenty-first century.” Macy waved a hand in the air. “It’s okay for a girl to call a guy and apologize.”

“Apologize?” She’d frowned so hard her brows had hurt. “What for? I didn’t do anything wrong? He left me, remember?”

“Uh-huh.” Her friend had stared without blinking. “After you told him how you felt, right? He knew you were falling for him. He knew you wanted to date him and not Stephan.”

She’d cleared her throat and looked away. “Uh, no. Not exactly.” She hadn’t told Vince any of that.

“So then, is it feasible Vince could’ve left because he thought you still had the hots for Stephan? Did the chivalrous thing by stepping out of the way, putting his feelings aside so you could be happy?”

Shaking herself back into the present, Emma sank onto her bed. Had Macy been right? Is that why Vince had left without a word?

Dom had been nothing but supportive the past few days. Never said anything about Vince, so if his brother had confided anything to him, he kept it to himself.

A knock sounded at her door. That was him now. She could tell by the knock, and the fact it was too early to be Stephan. Her date wasn’t due for another half hour.

Walking through the house, she managed to paste a smile on her face by the time she opened the door. “Hey, Dom. What’s up?” She stood aside to let him in.

“Still going through with the date, I see.” He motioned to her dress.

She shrugged. “Why shouldn’t I?”

It wasn’t like Vince had gotten a hold of her to apologize for leaving.

Dom stared at her a long moment. “There’s something I think you need to know about Vince.”

Just hearing his name cut like a knife. Her heart stopped. “Is he okay? Is he hurt?”

“He’s fine, in large part because of you. But there was a time when he wasn’t.”

“I…I don’t follow.”

Dom blew out a breath. “He’s probably going to kill me because I’m sure he’ll eventually tell you about her himself, but I want you to know how important you are to him.”

Her? Her who?

“Back in high school, Vince had a girlfriend named Connie,” he said. “They met freshman year and were together until she died right before graduation.”

Died?

“Oh my God.” Emotions burned her throat at the thought of Vince going through something like that…and so young.

“Yeah. After getting his diploma, he joined the Army, and hasn’t dated a woman more than twice ever since. Until you.”

Emma couldn’t even begin to imagine that kind of pain. She knew how bad she hurt at the loss of not having him next door.

She was still stunned when the ringing of her phone echoed through the kitchen. As happened every time it rang that week, her heart leaped, hoping it was Vince.

Emma glanced at the caller ID and sighed. “My mom.”

“I’ll let you talk in private.” Dom stepped close. “You look beautiful today.” He kissed her cheek, then left.

Autopilot kicking in once again, she answered the phone. “Hi, Mom,” she said, moving to the bathroom so she could check her hair and makeup.

“Hi, sweetheart. Getting ready for the big date? Make sure you take a picture and send it to me.”

She smiled, obliged, then sent it. “Just did, you should get it soon.”

“I’m so happy for you,” her mother said. “You’re finally going out with Stephan. Oh, hang on, your picture just dinged.”

Funny how none of the excitement was there anymore.

“The dress is gorgeous on you,” her mom said, sounding odd. “And you’re smiling, but you look sad. Really sad. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Emma moved into her bedroom and slipped on her strappy silver heels. “Tell you what?”

“That you’d fallen for Vince.”

She closed her eyes to ride out the pain. How had her mother known? She’d only told her about the fake dates.

Must’ve been one of her many motherly superpowers.

Her chin trembled without her permission. “He made me happy, Mom. Being with him was kind of…amazing.”

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry. What happened?”

She shook her head as if her mother could see. “I screwed things up. I never told him how I really felt, and he left. I’m not sure it would’ve made a difference, though. He probably wouldn’t have asked me to go anyway.”

“But you don’t know that.”

The doorbell rang.

“I’ve got to go, Mom. Stephan’s here.” He was the only one who ever used her front door, and while she used to think it was polite, it now struck her as oddly formal.

“Okay, call me later. It’s not too late. I’m sure we can figure something out.”

“Okay.” She’d only agreed to make her mom feel better. Wiping under her eyes in case her emotions had smeared her makeup, Emma hung up and headed for the door.

Stephan’s eyes widened as soon as she let him in. “You look amazing.”

“Thanks.” Grabbing her purse off the nearby credenza, she forced a smile. “Ready.”

Between Dom’s visit and her mother’s call, Emma was operating on overload. Emotions and thoughts cluttered her mind. It felt like someone rammed their fist into her chest, grasped her heart, and squeezed tight. The closer Stephan drove to the gala brunch, the tighter the squeeze.

Why? What was her body trying to tell her?

Only one thing came to mind.

She didn’t want to go.

Emma glanced at Stephan. He was still handsome. Still a great guy. But her heart no longer ached for him.

It ached for Vince. Much harder and stronger than it had ever ached for Stephan.

Her pulse hiccupped. “We need to go back.”

He frowned. “Did you forget something?”

“Yes.” She nodded. “My suitcase.”

Stephan met her gaze, and dawning flickered through his eyes. “Texas.”

She nodded again. “I’m sorry. I really am. Trust me, up until three weeks ago, I would’ve given my eyeteeth to be in this seat.”

Silence, then a sad chuckle. “I waited too long. You fell for Vince.”

“Yes.” She gripped her purse tight on her lap as he turned the car around in a vacant lot. “I don’t even know if he’ll want to see me. He never said anything about a relationship. But I need answers. I need to see him.”

Stephan glanced at her again, this time with guilt clouding his gaze. “He wanted to ask you to go with him.”

“What?” Emma’s heart dipped to her knees. “H-how do you know?”

He returned his attention back to the road. “He told me. Said he was thinking about asking you, but then we talked about you being uprooted and leaving everyone you know and love.”

“I love him,” she blurted.

Holy revelations…it was true.

She loved Vince.

Emma’s heart rocked back into place. Clicked. Became whole. Everything was suddenly so clear. How in the world had she not realized it sooner?

Even though it’d only been a few weeks, they’d shared so much in that short period of time. No wonder his absence hurt so bad. Worse than anything she’d ever felt before.

With shaky hands, she pulled out her phone and booked the first flight out. She was in luck. The last local commuter to Atlanta left in ninety minutes, then she’d catch another to Dallas. It was done. She’d taken a step. Took a chance. It felt good. Great, even. And as Stephan pulled into her driveway, she drew in her first real breath in days.

“Can you wait and take me to the airport?”

“Of course.” He nodded, guilt still evident in his eyes. “It’s the least I can do. I’m sorry, Emma. It’s my fault. Don’t be mad at Vince. He’s a good guy.”

Her heart twisted. And although part of her wanted to wring his handsome neck for meddling, she reached out to touch his arm instead. “You both are.” She just wished they hadn’t tried to make decisions for her. “I’ll be quick.”

Packing so fast she wasn’t even sure what was in the small suitcase, Emma was back outside in record time. Stephan immediately got out of the car to take the luggage from her.

“Thanks. I’ll be right back,” she said again, then rushed into Dom’s without knocking.

She found him watching a ballgame in the living room with the guys, but when he spotted her silently motioning for him to join her in the kitchen, he came out.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Hi.” She thrust her phone at him. “I need you to put Vince’s address in here, please.”

She could’ve texted him for it in the car, but wanted to tell him in person.

Approval gleamed in his eyes. “Need a ride to the airport?”

“No. Stephan’s taking me.”

“Stephan?” His head snapped back. “You’re one of a kind.” Admiration lit his face as he handed her phone back. “Say hi to my brother for me. Does he know you’re coming?”

She shook her head. “No. He has the wedding to worry about today. I don’t want to distract him.”

“Emma.” Dom grinned. “You showing up at the ranch is going to distract him something fierce.”

Hope flickered through her heart.

With luck, she’d arrive after the nuptials and they’d be able to talk in private. She needed to tell him how she felt. Something she should’ve done last week.

God, she couldn’t believe how stupid she’d been. Stupid from day one.

But at least she’d figured it out and could still tell him in person. And pray he was happy about it.

Otherwise…

She straightened her shoulders. Otherwise wasn’t an issue. If need be, she’d deal with it. By then, at least she would’ve given it a shot. Not wait around, over a decade, wondering what might have happened. Regretting she hadn’t tried.

Not this time. Not with Vince.

He was too important to her. He was worth taking a chance. Worth getting on a plane and flying several hours. Worth renting a car and driving over an hour through an unfamiliar state.

He was worth the effort.

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