CHAPTER 24
Joanna
Tobias had either been working late at the office, or staying out of the house longer than normal simply so that he could avoid me. Either way, after taking the pregnancy tests, I was grateful for his absence. It had taken me a while to get over the shock, but when I did, I began packing my bags and I called the first person I thought of.
“Hello? Joanna? Oh my god, what’s wrong?” Libby’s voice had said on the other line.
“Libby, I need a place to stay, just temporarily. I hate to be a burden and to ask for such a huge favor at the last minute like this—”
“Of course you can stay with me,” she had said, cutting me off. “Come over as soon as you need to.”
I’d sniffed back tears. “Thank you, Libby. I’ll be there in a little while. And I’ll explain everything.”
“Did you just seriously wipe me out of my second tub of ice cream?” Libby said with a frown. It was two hours later, and I was sitting on her couch, holding back tears. Libby had been patient with me, respecting that I needed time to work up to telling her my story. I had requested ice cream along the way, and she happily served me some.
“I’m sorry. I’ll buy you some more,” I said. “I’ve just been craving it lately.”
“Ahh, that’s all right,” Libby said, waving her hand dismissively. “Nothing is ever as bad as it seems when you’ve got ice cream. So, are you ready to spill it already? What’s going on?”
“I guess there’s no real reason to hide it anymore,” I said. “Anderson and I have been…seeing each other.”
Libby gasped so loudly and dramatically that she almost fell off the couch. “I knew it! All that stuff about you growing up with him and whatnot! Ha! I knew it!” She slapped me across the arm. “You know you could have just told me, right? Why the secrecy?”
“Because my brother is overly protective,” I told her. “Anderson and I both knew he wasn’t going to approve. And to make a long story short, he doesn’t.”
Libby’s excitement quickly subsided. “Oh girl, I’m sorry,” she said. “But who cares? You can’t live your life according to what your brother wants. You’re your own woman. And hell, for a man as gorgeous as Anderson Lawrence, I wouldn’t give a damn what anybody says!” She laughed, nudging me in the arm and trying to get me to join in. But my eyes involuntarily filled with tears in response.
“I wish it was that simple,” I said. “Tobias is really upset. He feels like we betrayed him. Now he’s not speaking to either one of us. And I feel like shit because Anderson and Tobias have been friends for as long as I can remember. And…” I drew in a breath, feeling my chest squeezing together as I struggled to finish the rest of what I needed to say.
Libby threw her arm around me. “And what? It can’t be that bad, whatever it is. As long as it doesn’t involve Zander.”
I shook my head. “No, it doesn’t involve Zander.”
“Thank goodness.”
I produced a weak smile as I tried to figure out how to proceed.
Libby gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze. “What is it then?” she asked.
I took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.” My confession hung in the air. It was the first time I had uttered the words out loud, making them official. Making them real. “I’m pregnant,” I repeated. “By Anderson.”
Libby gasped again, covering her hands with her mouth. “Oh my god,” she said. “Congratulations!”
I laughed, although I wasn’t entirely sure I found anything funny. “Thanks. I’m not sure how much I have to celebrate though, given the circumstances.”
“Honey, you have plenty to celebrate,” Libby said. “A baby! Wow! That’s a blessing, Joanna. Hold on, I need a drink.” She leapt up from the couch and headed to her china cabinet, talking excitedly as she retrieved wine. Her voice soon became a muffled drone in my ears though, for my thoughts had grown too loud to hear over.
All I could think about was how in the world I was going to tell Anderson. Although I didn’t know for sure, something told me he wasn’t at a point in his life where he was ready to be a father. Hell, I wasn’t entirely sure I was ready to be a mother.
Sure, I’d thought about having children before, but I would have preferred having them under happier conditions. Planned conditions. In other words, not under an unexpected happenstance that had caused a rift between my brother and his best friend.
Libby returned with a glass of wine and sat back down beside me. “Sorry I can’t offer you any.”
Despite my mood, a genuine laugh left my mouth. “Oh Libby, what am I going to do?”
“You’re just going to take things step-by-step,” she said. “First thing’s first, have you told Anderson?”
I shook my head. “That’s all I can think about. I don’t know what to say.”
“How do you think he’s going to react?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, does he strike you as a family-oriented man? Have you ever heard him talk about wanting kids before?”
“No. No to both of those.”
“Have you ever heard him say that he doesn’t want kids?”
“Well, no…”
“So technically, you’re on neutral ground. That’s a good thing. Don’t be so quick to jump to conclusions.”
“I guess I never looked at it that way,” I said after a pause.
“You know there’s only one way to find out then, right?”
I nodded. “I’m going to need time to get to that point though.”
“Take all the time you need,” Libby said after taking a sip of her wine. “And you can stay here for as long as you need.”
“Thanks.”
“I think you should tell him sooner than later though,” Libby said. “Your absence at the office is bound to start raising some eyebrows, especially his.”
“If he asks you about me, please don’t tell him anything,” I said. “I just need some time…”
“Of course,” Libby said, giving me another hug.
“I think I need some more ice cream too,” I said. “You know, since I can’t have any wine.”
Libby laughed.