Lesley

 

 

With a stupid grin, I type away, rushing to finish the document so I can take it to TJ. I haven’t spoken with him much. At least, not since last time we had sex. Which was like … yesterday.

But that’s beside the point.

We’re keeping it on the down low right now.

You know, so nobody notices we’re together.

We’re being sneaky. Only kissing when we’re alone, like in the closet or the bathroom or his office. During lunch time and office hours, we keep it strictly business. It’s nothing personal. We just don’t want the rest of the employees to think I got this job because I blow him … every now and then.

I only do it because he licks me on his desk. It’s a fair exchange.

Although he does tend to steal my panties whenever we’re done, I don’t mind. As long as I know where they’re going and what he’s doing with them. Besides, if my panties are the only ones he wants to sniff, I’d call that a win. He’s not the only one with a fetish. I mean, I did love it when he put his tie around my wrists, and I’m sure he’ll find out soon enough that’s my kink. I like losing control.

Only to the right man, of course.

And TJ … I’m wondering if he’s it.

Because someday, I want this to be more than just sex.

But I wonder if he wants that too, and if we’ll ever get there with this office between us, hampering our relationship.

For the time being, I’m content with what we have. As long as I get to keep my job and I can work on my side business during off-hours, I’m perfectly fine. And who knows, maybe I’ll start a business, quit this job, and then we can finally become a real couple. No show. No faking a platonic relationship. Just me, him … and the pooches.

We’re like one big, happy family.

Minus the family part.

But we’ll get to that soon.

First, I have to get this document to TJ and make him proud. I print out the plan and jump up from my computer. Pepper runs away from underneath my desk, where she was lying on my feet. I guess I scared her.

“Aw, I’m sorry, Pep. C’mere.” I lure her with my fingers and pet her head. “Wanna come see TJ and Dozer?”

Her tongue drops out the moment she hears their names, so I guess that’s a yes.

“C’mon then,” I say, patting my lap. She jumps up, and I catch her. We’ve come so far since the first time we met. I can’t believe I actually love this dog. Although, to me, she isn’t really a dog. More like a small kid I have to take care of. And who could say no to that cute button nose and that waggling tail? Like who is that heartless? Not even me, even though I was scared to death at first. But I won’t admit that to anyone if they ask. Obviously. Gotta play it cool.

When the printer finishes, I pick up the stack of papers and go upstairs toward TJ’s office where Gillian is sitting behind her desk, following my every move.

“He’s not in right now,” she says.

I stop in my tracks. “Yeah, he is. I saw him come in.”

“He’s having lunch with some associates.”

“I didn’t see him leave,” I say.

She leans on the counter with her elbows and says, “So you’re watching him now?”

“Of course, I am. He’s my boss. I’m supposed to deliver this to him, so I have to know if he’s here.” I show her the stack of papers.

“You can leave it at my desk. I’ll take it to him when he gets back.”

I make a face. “No thanks. I’d rather see him myself and hand them to him personally.”

She narrows her eyes. “You’ve got a thing for him, don’t you?”

Fuck me. The nerve.

And fuck me for real because my cheeks are blazing hot, and I know she can see it because she’s gathering air in her cheeks and is about ready to burst with laughter.

“Excuse me?” I say.

“Well, I’m only saying.” She shrugs. “You seem a bit obsessed.”

“Well …” I take a deep breath. “You seem obsessed with me. Do you have a thing for me?”

Her jaw drops, and she makes a distinct ‘uh’ sound as if she’s shocked I even dared to suggest it.

“Excuse me?” she says.

I shrug. “Exactly what I said.”

“I don’t date girls,” she says.

“Whatever.” I turn and walk toward his office, determined not to let her stop me again.

“Wait! You can’t go in there!”

“Oh, yeah? You gonna stop me?” I’m too sarcastic to care right now.

What’s she gonna do? Get me fired? Good luck.

If he’s there, I’m going to make her face her lies, and if he isn’t, I’m going to drop it on his desk and make sure to keep an eye on her so she doesn’t snatch it.

I don’t know what her problem with me is, but I’m almost certain it’s got something to do with the fact she’s upset at me for stealing his attention. That, or she wants my job.

Either way, I’m not messing around with her, and she’d better not mess around with me.

I march toward the door and open it, despite hearing loud music coming from the other side. My jaw drops and my brows draw together the moment I see TJ … dancing like a maniac … with a dog in his arms.

“What the …?” I mutter.

He’s also half-naked.

Going crazy in his underwear like it’s nobody’s business.

He doesn’t stop, and I can’t stop staring at the scene in front of me.

Gillian grabs my shoulders and says, “I told you not to go in.”

Suddenly, TJ glances over his shoulder and says, “Oh, shit.”

He rushes to grab his pants and put them back on again while Gillian and I look away, pretending we didn’t see all that.

“I’m sorry, sir. I tried to stop her,” Gillian says.

“No, you lied and said he wasn’t there,” I hiss.

“I see,” TJ says.

“Sorry. I didn’t know you were having a freak-out in your office,” I say.

“It’s a habit,” he says as Dozer jumps from his arms and runs under the desk.

“This is why I told you not to go,” Gillian says. “This is his daily alone time.”

“And you spend it by dancing like a lunatic?” I muse, peeking through my hand so I can see him zip up.

He smiles. “Yep. Nothing like a weird dance. Shake off all the nerves.”

I snort. “I don’t know why I expected anything less from you.”

“Do you need anything from me, sir?” Gillian asks. “Now that you’ve been interrupted, I may as well bring you some lunch.”

“No, I’m fine. Thank you. You can go now,” TJ says. “Oh, and for future reference … you can let Miss Fischer in when she has something for me. Got it?”

She purses her lips and says, “Yes, sir.”

I part my fingers again. “Can I look?”

He laughs. “Of course, you can.”

Gillian leaves and closes the door behind her. “I’ll leave you to it.”

I sigh out loud when she’s gone. “I thought she’d never leave.”

“You two don’t get along?” he asks.

I smile stupidly. “I don’t think she likes me that much.”

“Sure, she does. She’s just worried.”

“About what?” I ask.

“Oh … just … everything that concerns me,” he says, and he clears his throat. “Anyway, now that you’re here …”

He turns around and grabs the dog that’s under the desk. Only then do I notice what he did to Dozer. “What do you think?” he muses.

At first, my lips part, but then I burst out into laughter. “You’re shitting me, right?”

The dog has a drawn-on moustache … and eyebrows.

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen eyebrows on a dog, but there is literally nothing sillier than that.

“Looks good, right?” TJ says, wiggling his eyebrows while moving Dozer’s up and down, and it’s got me cracking up. Like, honestly, I’m unable to catch my breath. That’s how hard I’m laughing.

“I’m sorry,” I mutter between laughs. “I can’t. I just can’t.”

“I know. It’s hard to deal with so much handsomeness in one room,” TJ boasts.

“Is this what you do in your spare time?” I ask.

“Yup. Gotta waste the time somehow.” He puts Dozer down again. “Besides, laughing’s healthy for you.”

“And here I thought you were doing useful things with your time,” I reply.

“Useful? You don’t consider a dog with a moustache and eyebrows useful?” He makes a face and shakes his finger at me. “Shame. Shame on you.”

I snort and playfully slap his arm with the stack of papers in my hand. “You’re such an idiot.”

“And you’re in love with him,” he muses, grabbing my arms to press a kiss on my lips. “Now who’s the idiot?”

“Fuck you,” I murmur, but I let him kiss me anyway because I’m such an idiot and I know it.

“Bad talking to your boss? That could get you fired,” he replies.

“If you wanted to fire me, you would’ve done it a long time ago. You know … back when we first had sex,” I murmur against his lips.

He smirks. “I don’t want to … but don’t force my hand, young lady. It might suddenly spank your ass.”

“Shhh …” I whisper. “Gillian might hear.”

“And then she’ll be even more jealous of you than before,” he says, making me grin.

I narrow my eyes. “I knew that’s what it was …”

He shrugs. “Maybe. I dunno. Don’t care either.”

“What else could it be?”

“As I said, she’s rather protective of me.”

“She acts like she’s your mother,” I say.

He frowns and pulls back, and I’m wondering where the hell my kisses are. I lean in, but he doesn’t allow me to kiss him. Instead, he walks back to his desk and sits down.

“What? Is it something I said?” I ask.

“No, no. I just thought I should get back to work,” he says, looking up at me. “Enough fun time.”

“Oh.” I nod. “Well, I came in here to give you this.” I place it on his desk. “It’s my marketing plan.”

“Cool, thanks.” He winks. “I’ll take a look.”

Suddenly, his phone rings, and he picks it up. “TJ Morrows.”

I sit down on the chair in front of him, waiting for him to finish. I hope it’s okay. I just wanna know what he thinks of the plan. I’m too anxious to wait, but if he wants me gone, I’ll leave, of course.

“Hey, Flynn. How are you doing?” TJ seems excited … or surprised. I can’t tell.

“Oh …” His voice is lower, and the look on his face changes. “What? No, that’s not true. Look, I’m sorry, okay? You know it’s been hard ever since Pops—”

He stops again, and I can hear the voice on the other end yelling.

“I’m doing my best here. I’m keeping things going. I’m not trying to do anything except my best; you know that,” TJ says, sighing out loud. I can tell he’s stressed out. “I’m really, really sorry. I know. I’ll go.”

I bite my lip, wondering if I should leave. I feel so out of place here, and this seems like a really personal conversation.

“No, I didn’t do it on purpose. Look, I’ve just been busy, okay? It’s not like you haven’t been either. When was the last time I saw you?” TJ’s yelling now. “That wasn’t my choice; it was yours. Can we just stop? Please? I’ll go, all right? Just name a time, and I’ll be there.” He grabs a pen and writes down something frantically. “Fine, I’ll be there. I’ll see you then.” He smacks the phone down and blows out a breath.

I don’t speak. I’m not sure what I can say. I know nothing of the situation, and I’ll probably only make it worse. But we can’t sit here in silence and ignore what just happened either.

“Are you okay?” I ask gently.

“No, I’m not okay.” In a fit of rage, he swipes his hand along the desk and throws off pens, clips, notes, papers … even my plan. “Fuck!”

I go to my knees and silently pick all it up from the floor, placing it back on the desk.

Suddenly, the door opens, and Gillian comes rushing in. “Is everything okay?”

I get up from the floor and pretend I was just talking with him.

“Everything is fine, Gillian,” TJ says with an annoyed voice. “Just … give me a few minutes, okay? I’ll call you when I need you.”

“Okay.” She makes a face but still turns and walks out again, closing the door behind her.

“I’m sorry,” TJ mutters under his breath.

“It’s okay,” I say, brushing his arm briefly. “I’ll leave you alone for a minute.”

When I turn around, he says, “No. wait.”

I glance over my shoulder. “Is there anything I can get you? Cup of coffee, maybe?”

“No, just …” He holds up his hand. “Just stay.”

“Okay.” I sit back down on the chair in front of the desk. “I can do that.”

He nods a few times and gazes down at the wood, breathing out air like a bull. “Sorry about that.”

“It happens to all of us.”

“Not me,” he says, still not looking at me. “At least, not normally.”

“We all have our weak spot,” I reply. “I do too.”

“Hmm …”

I lean forward and place my hand on top of his. “If you wanna discuss it, I’m here.”

He nods again, licking his lips as if he’s preparing for something big. “That was my brother. Flynn. He called because … well …” He sighs, and his eyes flash to me from underneath his lashes. “My mom’s not well. She’s in a facility. She’s got advanced Alzheimer’s.”

“Oh … I’m sorry. That must be tough,” I say, holding his hand tight.

“Flynn’s mad because I haven’t visited her in a while.” He chews the inside of his cheeks. “And I know. He’s right. I haven’t. And I feel fucking bad about it.”

“It’s okay. It happens to all of us.”

“No, it doesn’t.” He pulls away from my grasp. “Who forgets about their mother? No one.”

“You didn’t forget about her, did you?” I ask.

“I didn’t, but I didn’t go to see her either.”

“But you had your reasons.”

“Reasons,” he repeats, spitting out the word like it’s poison on his lips. “I’m just lazy.”

“No, you’re not,” I say with a stern voice. “That’s not true. Stop beating yourself up.”

“I could’ve gone and visited her.”

“But you chose not to. There must be a reason.”

Again, that silent but powerful glance. Words aren’t always necessary to say what you need to say. And he does just that. He knows exactly why he hasn’t gone, but the guilt is still eating at him.

“You did what you had to do,” I say.

“To protect myself …” His eyes turn glossy. “But I do care about her. I love my mother.” When the tears start to fall, I rise from my seat and walk around the desk, hugging him tight.

“I know, TJ.” I shush him. “You don’t have to say it. I believe you.”

“But he doesn’t,” he growls. “He actually said I don’t give a shit about her because I haven’t checked in with him or Mom in so long.”

I rub his back. “He’s just afraid he’s losing you.”

“Fuck him.”

“No.” I squeeze his shoulder to make him look at me. “He’s your brother. You love each other. That’s why you’re both so mad.”

He grinds his teeth and looks away. “I only did it because I couldn’t focus on my work, and I couldn’t let go of my work. No way. This is too important.”

“You made a sacrifice.”

“How else was I supposed to concentrate on keeping the company running?”

“But now you feel guilty for making that choice,” I say.

He nods again, and I wipe away the tears running down his cheeks. “You can only make one choice in life, TJ. You made yours.”

“And now I have to live with the consequences, which is a mother who thinks her oldest son is dead.”

I bite my lip and pull him in for another hug. “I’m sorry you’re going through this.”

It’s quiet for some time as I hold him tight. His fingers curl around my clothes, and he buries his face in my chest, sniffing hard. I know the smell comforts him, and soon his breathing becomes much less ragged.

“Thank you,” he says as he looks up at me. “For being here.”

“That’s what good girlfriends do,” I say.

I’m proud to belong to him and proud that he belongs to me. Because underneath all that fun and ridiculousness lies an emotional, sensible, and loyal man who I’m so happy I got to know. And now that he’s let me into his life, I can only feel grateful.

But I do hope he didn’t hear the word I said because I’ll be damned if I admit I like him that much.

“Girlfriend?” he mutters, raising his brow. Shit. I guess he did hear. “And here I thought you weren’t planning on becoming my anything.”

“Don’t get your hopes up,” I reply. “It still doesn’t mean you get to flaunt me around the office. It just means I decided I like you. That’s all.”

“Aww …” He makes a pouty face which immediately makes me wanna slap and kiss him at the same time. “So are you saying I can’t introduce you to my mother either?”

My lips part, but I don’t know how to respond.

I’m just wowed.

He wants to introduce me to his family already. That means we’re pretty serious. But the funny thing is, I’m not even sure I wanna say no.

Somehow, the idea of him introducing me as his girlfriend makes me feel giddy inside.

And that, in turn, makes me think, What the fuck is wrong with me?

But I guess that comes with falling head over heels with your boss.

You don’t get to decide what you feel … only what you do.

And what I’m doing right now is grabbing him by the collar and kissing him right on the lips.

He smiles as he kisses me back, murmuring, “Well, I guess that’s a yes then.”

I grin. “Damn right, it is.”