Ally

Me.

With the mess I’ve caused him and the loss of a billion-dollar deal, how does Hutton Everest still only care about me? “You mean that?”

“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t.” In business, I imagine the man before me is a force to be reckoned with, but to me, he’s always so endearing. I don’t know what it is about this moment—maybe it’s the way he’s looking at me or because I know I can trust him—but I spill the only other secret I’ve been keeping from him. “I need to tell you something.”

While he sits on a bench under the window, I move to the edge of the bed. “You’ve heard about the press trying to ruin me in Brudenbourg through bits of conversations that shouldn’t have been spoken in front of you.”

“But you could’ve, and I wouldn’t have told anyone.”

“I know, but I didn’t want Jakob or anyone else saying anything because I didn’t want you to think less of me, but being with me means certain things won’t remain secret. Being with me, you should know what you’re getting into—”

“I’m already in too deep to turn back now, princess.”

“I love your spunk.”

He suddenly looks traumatized. “What?”

“What?” I volley back unsure why he’s reacting that way.

“You love my spunk?”

“Yes. What am I missing?”

His handsome features relax, and he starts chuckling. Rubbing his hands over his face, he replies, “I thought . . . Never mind. My thoughts are in the gutter. Sorry.”

Why do I feel like I’ve missed something big here? I make a mental note to research spunk later.

Getting us back on track, he asks, “Why did the press make up lies about you?”

“They didn’t. I never said the press was wrong. I said they tried to ruin me. I was so good, always keeping up appearances, but on the inside, I was unsettled. I liked to challenge my parents, as they call it. But I wasn’t challenging them. I was challenging the world I lived in. No kissing. No dates. No boys. Dress a certain way. Wear my hair pulled back. No jeans. No shorts. Don’t show my legs. God, it was a nightmare. And when I say that, I realize I sound spoiled, and that some people have real-world problems. But as a teenager, with my hormones out of whack, everything is emotionally bigger than it really is. So I rebelled.”

“Against?”

“The system. The laws. My parents. My country’s traditions. I snuck out to go on dates. I kissed boys until my lips were swollen and hickeys had to be hidden by turtlenecks in summer. I would go to the beach and wear a bikini and hang out with my friends. I’d drink and party, but you know what I never did that was thrown into their gossip column without regard to how it might affect me?”

“What?”

“The ex that I caught with Sabine Rosalie finally got his revenge after I broke up with him for cheating on me.”

Hutton takes a deep breath and slowly exhales, then he flexes his fingers and stands, bracing his arms to his sides. My injured heart hurts him. That’s how much he loves me. With every fiber of his being.

“He told everyone I had sex with him,” I say, and then shrug like it didn’t affect me when, in reality, it destroyed my reputation . . . and me. “Doesn’t seem like a big thing, but in my country, we have a law—”

“The chastity law.” Closing the distance between us, he rubs my upper arms. “And then your father called you a name.”

“Whore. That was part of the headline. Princess Whorabelle. It’s quite clever, don’t you think?” I try to lighten the mood, though I feel the same pain as the day I read it.

“No. It’s cruel.” His eyes don’t leave me, and although I want to put on a brave face, when I raise my chin, it quivers, so I lower it again, sucking in a stifling breath.

“They sold the story worldwide, but I was soon forgotten when a European royal stepped out of line, but it still hurt.”

Settling between my legs, he stands before me and holds my arms. “They’re assholes. Regardless if the attention shifted, they hurt you. If I could fix it, I would. I’m sorry you had to go through that. I take it your father sided with the article.”

“And put me on a plane to England for university. You can’t throw a stone without hitting a royal over there. Then later to Texas. I was told to blend in, keep my head down, and study.” I sighed. “I did. Until I came home. Some wild ways can’t be tamed. The name came back as soon as I landed on Brudenbourg soil. Why fight fate?”

“Because that wasn’t your fate. That was bullshit made up about you. Only you determine your destiny.” If only that were true. My country determines my destiny. It always has. And for some reason, I’ve believed I wasn’t really to blame for having to leave, that it was the stupid laws at fault.

He takes a step back when I stand. “I’ve been lying to myself.”

“About?”

“I tried to pretend I wasn’t exiled, but you’re right. I was. Even if it was for a short time in the scheme of my life, I was forbidden from returning. I should start using the correct terminology. It’s going to be the only way I will heal from that betrayal.” I stretch my neck to the side, noticing some of the normal tension is gone. “Acknowledging the truth is kind of freeing. I already feel lighter.”

“Share those truths and free your whole being.”

“I have one for you.”

I like his smile—kind, trustworthy, friendly. “Hit me with it.”

“I’m not a whore.” I shrug for an entirely different reason this time. “I may act like one when I’m in bed with you, but that doesn’t define who I am to the world.”

“No, it doesn’t.” With his head tilted down, he chuckles to himself while rubbing the tip of his tongue over his bottom lip. Peeking up, he says, “I have a secret.”

My body stills, having no clue what he’s going to say. “What is it?”

“I looked up the chastity law.”

“Oh. Okay. This is not where I thought this conversation was going.”

“Did you know we’ve broken not only the chastity law about a hundred times over?” Seriousness belies his expression, then he starts laughing. “But we’ve violated at least eight other of your laws.”

I burst out laughing. “Oh my God,” I say with a smile so big on my face that my cheeks hurt. So much so that tears form in my eyes. I try to catch my breath, but my laughter causes me to bend over. “And here I was only worried about the one.” Finally catching my breath, I say, “I needed that.”

“Yeah, you did.” He comes over and hugs me again. “Let me know what I can do for you, or how I can help, and I will. Anything.”

My head is kissed. “Same goes for you.” I lift up to kiss this awesome mountain of a man on the chin. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

“I think I’m going to take a bath. Want to join me?”

“You. Naked. Water. Me. Hell yes, I want to join you.”

Moving into the bathroom, he starts the water to fill the tub. We’re okay in the silence because we’re good. Team us. I pour bubble bath in and slip my hand under the water as I sit on the edge of the tub.

When it’s more than half full, Hutton takes my hand, helping me to balance so I don’t slip while I get in. The heat of the water feels so good to my sore muscles from traveling.

Hutton strips down again and steps in, settling opposite from me, our legs tangling. He asks, “I might be the reason you’re not the queen?”

“You’re not. It will be all on me. I knowingly broke the law with you.”

“When you say that, you make it sound like you were a virgin when we slept together.” He laughs, but when I don’t, he stops and stares. Understanding sinks into his melty chocolate eyes. Water splashes over the edge when he bolts upright. “Why aren’t you laughing?” The question is asked with a serious edge.

I bite my lip, knowing I have to be honest and expose the truth just as we’ve been doing since we arrived. I should have been honest from the beginning, but it felt so good to be someone else when we first met. We were drawn together as if destiny played a hand in bringing us together that night. The right place at the right time. The short version of us meeting in a bar will never capture the magic of how our great love story started.

Gliding through the water, I sit on his lap and bend to kiss his neck. He grows between my legs. His hardness feels slick beneath the layer of bubble bath and I move enough to let him know what I want. “You taught me everything I know.”

His shoulders are tense, so I massage the muscles while I rub other parts of his body with mine. I close my eyes as the sharp points of his five o’clock shadow scrape against my cheek. The pleasure of this pain takes my mind off anything except him. My hips are stopped, held in place, and he says, “Look at me, Ally.”

“I am.” My gaze goes from his eyes to his mouth, then to his chest and his forehead until my jaw is captured and angled, so I look into his eyes.

“Were you a virgin?”

“Everyone’s a virgin before having sex.”

“I’m serious.”

“What’s the big deal anyway?”

When he lowers his eyes to the water, I see the conflict written in his forehead. His hands dip under the water and seem to find my ass on their own accord, holding me still on his lap. After a heavy sigh, he says, “The big deal is that we did things I don’t normally do. With you, sex isn’t sex. It’s an experience—mindful and deeply connective on another level from physical. You push me for more, and because I want to please you, I do whatever you need. But then I become selfish. I didn’t treat you right that first night, for your first time. Had I known, I would have done things differently.”

“You did everything right. That’s why I loved it so much.” He’s about to speak, but I place a finger on his lips. “Please understand what I mean. I’ve always been treated like a princess. It’s amazing in so many ways, but other than my family, I’ve never felt a strong connection to anyone. I used to sneak read romances and learned about love from books. I wanted that so badly that I tried to find it in the wrong places and in the wrong ways with the wrong guys.”

“That’s a lot of wrongs.”

“Truer words never were spoken. But then I met you. Do you believe in soul mates?”

His hands cover my lower back and slide down over my skin. Slipping me back in place, he causes my breath to stumble from the sexual connection. Focusing becomes harder. “I believe in you and me. As for destiny, I don’t think I believed before, but now I do.”

Our lips come together as our bodies slide even farther under the water. Then he leans his head back on the side of the tub, and asks, “Why’d you choose me?”

“Because you treated me like me and not who everyone else sees. You had a look in your eye like we were always meant to be. Cinderella and Prince Charming.”

A slow roguish grin works its way across his face. “I treated you like Ally.”

“You did.”

“I only want what’s best for you. You. Not your country. Not your parents. You. I want you to be happy. As much as I love having you here, I know you might not stay. I think you assumed this was only for a few days. My truth is that I’m worried I’m going to lose you.”

“I’ll fight for you.”

“They’re never going to let you be with me and still be the queen.”

Skimming water onto his body, I’m not sure what to say. “I only know how I feel. I love you, Hutton. I’ll never marry someone out of obligation. I’d rather reign alone than be stuck in a loveless marriage.”

“Can a queen really date?”

“It worked for Queen Elizabeth I.”

“Did it, though? She died alone.” Although it seems to pain him, he says, “You’re welcome to stay here as long as you want. But while you’re here, I want you to think about what you really want and how you see your life going, because it might not be with me.”

“I—”

This time, he presses a finger to my lips. “Think about it. When you’re alone, when you’re rested, when you’re feeling ready. We don’t have clear heads right now.”

I kiss his finger and suck in the tip. His breathing picks up, and I’m held tighter around the hips. I gyrate on top of him, but I know I won’t be able to wait. Like our relationship, I don’t need slow or to warm up to this man. I want all of him—fast, hard, and like a whirlwind.

Our bodies connect as he slides inside me. I drag my nails down his chest, not to break the skin, but to see him burn the way I do deep within. The room magically goes dark, the city lights providing all the light we need to see each other. As I move on top of him, I say, “I know why you said when I’m alone.”

That smile that wins me over every time it appears, and he says, “Oh yeah?”

“Because when we’re together, I don’t think clearly at all.” I let my head fall back. “God, you feel so good. Will this ever get old?”

“No.”

I look up, surprised, but not really by the simplistic answer, because he’s right. His hand sneaks around and touches me, making my thoughts blur and my body weak to his attention. Lifting up, I push back down and repeat. Again and again until my body clenches and tremors course from my center.

My shoulders are held, my body pressed down as I embrace his release and it becomes mine again, tearing through the darkness I found behind my eyelids and shining his light inside me.

This is right.

Hutton is right.

But how do we play into my role as queen?

In the middle of the night, both sated and Hutton asleep, I slip out and grab a shirt on my way to the living room. I open the blinds but leave off the lights. After making a cup of tea, I stop to smell the roses. Holding the bouquet, I bury my nose in the soft petals of the pink flowers.

I spend a few minutes searching the cabinets for a vase but don’t find any. That Hutton doesn’t own one makes me smile. I get creative, and when I’m done, I’m the one smiling.

Taking my tea, I move to the windows, raising one panel so I can see out. With this new world at my feet and being alone for the first time in longer than I can remember, I allow myself to think about who I really want to be.