Love is a better teacher than duty.
—Albert Einstein
BASTIANO ROMANO
When Tessie was six, I’d left for Missouri—the closest I could get to Alabama without actually entering Andretti territory. Missouri laid in the southernmost portion of Camerino territory.
Marco Camerino had met me at the border of Missouri, near Tennessee, and we’d hatched a plan to get Everett back. He’d sworn on his life he wouldn’t let anyone know Everett existed, and I trusted him. He was the heir to the Camerino syndicate, yes, but he was also my best friend from boarding school.
We spent about a month in Missouri, failure after failure until a gnawing dread chewed at my gut. This unshakeable feeling that something was wrong, and I couldn’t stop it. I’d called Elsa, forcing myself through a gritted conversation until she assured me Everett was fine.
Then I’d call everyone else in my family, one by one until I reached my mom, and she told me Tessie had gone to our cabin in Big Bear with our cousin. I dropped all my pride and begged my mom to make sure Tessie was okay.
She wasn’t. My cousin hadn’t noticed Tessie had slipped out the back door to chase a squirrel, and Tessie had broken her foot on a log far into the wooded backyard of the secluded cabin we owned.
The temperatures had dropped so low that night, and by the time they’d found her in the snow, Tessie barely had any breath in her.
I had that same feeling gnawing at my gut now.
That bone-deep, heart-chilling feeling of doom.
Tessie sat in the break room, drawing something on the walls in what she swore was washable marker. She assured me she was fine, which I saw with my own eyes. I texted Everett, who told me he had tutoring in a few minutes and would video call me later.
Gio and Ma replied within an instant, and Uncle Frankie and Uncle Eli’s security teams confirmed their safety within seconds. I debated for another minute before shooting a group text to Asher, Lucy, and Vince.
My eyes shifted to Ari as I waited for their responses. She hadn’t looked at me all day. Not because she’d been busy. It was like she was actively avoiding all things to do with me, her eyes darting around the restaurant every few seconds like a skittish shelter dog.
My phone rang as I took my first step to her. Asher. He’d just gotten married, and it was supposed to be a happy occasion, but I couldn’t shake this feeling. It wasn’t Elsa’s visit. If anything, that excited me. It renewed my hope for some blackmail material to loom over her head, something to get Everett back in New York.
I answered Asher’s call, feeling a little guilty that I’d interrupted his honeymoon. “Honeymoon going that bad?” I joked.
“We’re not on our honeymoon.” His words had a bite to them.
My back stiffened as I paused my path to Ariana and straightened. “What? What happened? Are you okay? Is Lucy okay?”
I knew.
I just knew something was wrong.
“He’s gone.”
“Who’s gone?”
“Vince.”
Laughter bubbled in my throat. This had to be a joke. Vince was the one Romano I could depend on to always be there. He couldn’t be gone.
“Did you check with his security?”
“Of course. He’s just… gone. Look, shit went down with Niccolaio. Something to do with the bounty. I don’t know. It’s not looking good. No one has seen Vince.”
I heard a clock ticking. Not here. Physically. But inside me. My gut feelings never failed me. We’d found Tessie in time, but Vince… how long had he been missing? Questions shot through my mind, each coming faster than the next. A minute longer, and Tessie would have been dead. How long did Vince have?
Silence.
I finally bit out, “I’ll be right there.”
After hanging up, I texted Tessie’s babysitter and strode to Ari. “I need to go. Tessie’s babysitter is coming in fifteen minutes. Can you watch Tessie until then?”
Her brows dipped together, her eyes skimming my face, searching for something. “Of course. Is everything okay?”
I didn’t have time to explain, so I gave a half-assed nod and left for the break room. As soon as Tessie turned to me, I said, “I have to go.”
“Where?” She drew the cap of her marker into her mouth and spoke around it. “You look funny.”
I couldn’t tell her about Vince. She’d freak, and I didn’t want her worrying, so I lied like a jackass. Even though I felt the time ticking in my gut.
“I’m fine.” Bouncing a curl of hers, like I’d do if things were fine, I continued, “Asher just called me. He needs my help with something. Ariana will watch you until your babysitter gets here. If you need anything, find Ari behind the bar.”
“Okay!” The cap fell out of her mouth when she spoke. She flung her arms around me and kissed my cheek when I lifted her in a hug. As soon as I set her down, she turned back to the wall and drew a smiley face on it in yellow marker that had the word permanent printed on the side. “See you later!”
I shook my head but didn’t bother dealing with the marker as I left. When I got to Asher’s penthouse, Lucy had a pot of tea on the kitchen island, but it had lost its steam. Dozens of Asher’s security team milled in the living room, taking up every inch of space. Sitting at the bar was Lucy, Asher, Niccolaio, and Vincent’s head of security.
I tossed my keys and phone onto the counter. “What happened?”
“Vince is gone. He slipped past his security team.” I opened my mouth, but Asher cut me off. “Don’t ask how. We all know he’s resourceful. What we need to focus on now is finding Vincent. We can deal with the rest later. Okay?”
I nodded and took in the massive three feet by three feet map on the kitchen island. They’d set tacks all over it in red, green, yellow, and black. “The green is where he most likely is, the yellow is where he could be, and the reds are a long shot. The blacks are where you’ve already searched?” I confirmed.
We’d done this before, usually when we were hunting people who hid in our territory. Not Vincent. This had to be a joke. Every fiber of me believed this was a joke. I knew what I’d felt earlier though.
That dread.
I didn’t share it with everyone else. They needed their hope, and I needed… I needed to find Vincent and figure out the rest later. Why did it always take losing someone to realize how much you loved them?
The clock ticked in my head.
Louder.
Louder.
Telling me I was too late.
Tick.
Tock.
ARIANA DE LUCA
I’d been worried about dealing with Bastian, but I didn’t need to be. He’d been emotionally distant after Vincent had visited me, leaving me to stress over every word Vincent and I had shared.
He knew I was a De Luca.
He knew I was an FBI agent.
Why hadn’t I asked for an extraction? Why was I waiting?
Because you’re wondering if he’s right. If you’re Jupiter, and Bastian is Ganymede.
Ridiculous thoughts.
Especially since I was so unbelievably pissed at Bastian—once again. Tessie’s babysitter had left hours ago, my shift had ended around ten, and I didn’t want to leave Tessie here, even with the staff to watch her.
I’d had Tessie call her parents and brother, but no one picked up.
Tessie pocketed her phone and looked up at me, so adorable and oblivious. “Do boys kiss girls on dates?”
I cleaned the marker from the wall with one of those magic erasers with the buff bald guy on the box. “Sometimes.”
She grabbed a magic eraser from the box and began to tear it into tiny pieces. “I want to go on a date.”
“Maybe when you’re older.” I plucked what little remained of her eraser from her hands, swiped as many pieces as I could off the ground, and tossed it.
“Carrie left to go on a date. She said he was super cute.”
Carrie was Tessie’s babysitter, and I’d kill her right after I killed Bastian for leaving Tessie here.
“Come on.” I took Tessie’s hand, helped her into her jacket, and gathered all her knick-knacks into her bright pink backpack. “I’ll take you to my place.”
“Where’s Bastian?”
I wish I knew.
Instead, I gave a half-truth. “I’m sure he’ll call when he’s done. It must be important.”
She shrugged and followed me out the door. I almost felt like a kidnapper, but there was no way I was leaving her alone in L’Oscurità with no one I trusted to look after her. Plus, it pushed my luck to even be here.
Instead of heading to the subway, I hailed a cab, so Tessie and I could sit in comfort while we headed to my place. I wasn’t even sure if she’d ever taken public transportation here or in California.
The cab took his time sifting through the New York traffic. By the time we pulled up to my apartment, Tessie had fallen asleep with half her body on my lap. I paid the driver and eased Tessie up and into my arms, carrying her and the backpack up the stairs and into the elevator easily thanks to all the ice I was used to carrying up and down the basement stairs.
I managed to unlock the bedroom door with one hand and slide Tessie into bed without waking her up. She sprawled out, making it hard to slip her jacket off. I worked it off her shoulders as gently as I could, then took her shoes off without even stirring her.
After sliding the sheets over her body, I showered, prepped for bed, and grabbed the spare set of blankets and a pillow from my bedroom closet. Pulling out the shitty mattress from the pull-out couch, I sunk into it with the blanket and pillow and fell asleep.
I woke up to the sound of pounding. My hands immediately reached for my gun before remembering the closest one sat hidden under my sink in a fake container. I cursed before Tessie’s face flashed in my head.
She was asleep. Bastian probably stood on the other side of my door. Only he would find it appropriate to wake everyone in my building up at—I glanced at the clock—three in the morning.
I peeked through the peephole. Yup. Bastian. Unlocking the door, I swung it open without a word. Bastiano Romano was the type of man who took up more room than he did space, and standing in the doorway of my apartment, he filled up every inch of my place with his presence.
People considered me to be skinny, yes, but I’d never felt small until this moment—standing before a pissed off Bastiano Romano as he glared at me with so much hatred, I had to pinch myself to make sure I hadn’t been petrified.
“What is your problem?”
I crossed my arms. “What’s my problem?” It was so easy to forget all of my problems, actually, when Bastian stood in front of me, and we argued. “My problem is you, standing in front of me at three in the morning, waking up all of my neighbors.”
“I can assure you, the people who live in this building are the type used to three A.M. wake up calls.” He took an uninvited step into my apartment and shut the door behind him with his foot. “You kidnapped my sister and took her to a meth lab.”
“There are no meth labs in my apartment building,” I protested. I met his step with my own, and we stood nose to nose, my head tilted up and his dipped down. “You mean, I protected your sister from being left alone in a bar unattended because she has no responsible adult presence in her life besides me.”
He looked like he could have punched the wall. “You could have called.”
“We did. You didn’t answer. Your dad didn’t answer. Your mom didn’t answer. Great adults she has in her life.” I folded my arms across my chest like a shield. Instead of protecting me, the movement drew me closer to him. His skin burned the backs of my forearms.
“You don’t understand.”
“Enlighten me.”
He opened his mouth. Closed it. Opened it again. Instead of telling me what the hell was so important he had to ditch his baby sister he supposedly cared so much about, he asked, “Where is she?”
“Sleeping in my bed. It’s three in the morning, and you will not wake that little girl up after ditching her.”
“Fine.”
We stared at one another, both of us at a weird impasse. I took the time to study him. Bags under his eyes. His usually neat hair stuck up in several directions. Wrinkles littered all over his untucked button down. I didn’t know what to make of this version of him.
Pity and this overwhelming desire to help him filled me. I had to be insane. Certifiable.
I gentled my voice. “What happened?”
Why?
Why had I asked that?
Why did I care?
Why?
Just why?
You are Jupiter, and he is Ganymede, revolving around you like you are his planet, and he is your moon.
Maybe Vince had gotten it wrong. Maybe Bastian was Jupiter, and I was Ganymede, revolving around Bastian, unable to pull away from his gravity. Gosh, Ganymede was such an idiot. He needed Jesus and an intervention.
Bastian’s anger still simmered waves of heat around us. He looked like he sought an outlet; I didn’t know if I could give one to him.
“He’s gone.” The words ripped out of him, escaping his lips and clawing its way into my throat.
I felt his pain to my very core, and I couldn’t explain it. I didn’t even like Bastian as a person, so why did I feel his pain like it was my own? Nothing about us made sense. We were supposed to fight, and fight, and fight, and fight. He wasn’t supposed to massage me. He wasn’t supposed to listen to me grieve my mom’s death. He wasn’t supposed to help me home and tuck me in. He wasn’t supposed to carry hundreds of pounds of ice for me.
He was supposed to be the villain in the story, and I was supposed to be the hero. Never once did I consider it’d be the other way around.
Then, don’t betray him.
I shook the thought away. I’d already committed to leaving the bureau. I just didn’t know how. But tonight, for just one night, maybe I could feel like the savior for once.
I took another step closer and reached up and touched his face. “How can I help? Who’s gone?”
His jaw ticked, his efforts to keep himself in control visible. “Vincent.”
I worked to tamp my reaction. “When did you last see him?”
“The night of Asher’s wedding.”
And I’d seen him after that. Had I been the last person to see him? It couldn’t be a coincidence that Vince had visited me just before he went missing.
Why are you here? I’d asked him.
Closure.
What else had he said?
That I had his blessing with Bastian.
To heal him. To save him. To cure him. To be his family when I cannot.
Those weren’t the words of a man prepared to live. They were the words of a man preparing to die. But I couldn’t tell Bastian that. He’d never understand without me explaining the whole conversation to him. The one where Vince had revealed he knew all my dirty little secrets, all my destructive lies entombed in one deceptive package.
Instead of telling the truth, I buried myself in a deeper hole, one dug by guilt and filled with remorse. “Stay.”
“Excuse me?”
“It’s late. Your sister needs her sleep. I’m guessing you’re going to wake up to search for Vincent in the morning, and you’re going to need your sleep. I have a pull-out couch. The mattress is awful, but it’s better than waking Tessie up, driving to your place, and falling asleep just to wake up hours later. So… stay.”
“Where will you sleep?”
“The couch bed is big enough for the both of us.”
He nodded his head, his eyes thanking me instead of his words. The relief in his shoulders only dug the guilt deeper beneath my skin until my fingertips burned with the need to scratch at it.
And when we both dipped under the covers and he wrapped an arm around my waist like he couldn’t help himself, I felt like the worst person in the world.
Not Jupiter.
Not even Ganymede.
Apate.
The goddess of fraud and deception.