Chapter Two
Avery opened the freezer door again, closed it, and then did the same to the fridge even though she already knew what she would find.
It had been two days since her ex had left, but that wasn’t what bothered her. It had also been two days since Jacob had seen her—all of her—in that stupid outfit.
God, what the hell was I thinking?!
Whatever crazy, wild hair that had provoked her to spend an insane amount of money on a few scraps of lace had been replaced by an even crazier, wilder hair that had forced her feet to the door when David had left.
She understood why she did it. At that time, she had just wanted him gone, and it seemed only right to follow him to the door so she could watch him leave and turn the lock after he was gone. People followed visitors to the door all the time, it’s what’s done, and yet if she had only stayed back, even for just a few seconds, then Jacob wouldn’t have seen her, and she would be able to leave her house again.
She couldn’t stop the long, exaggerated sigh that escaped her mouth, or the truth that hammered in her brain. Seeing Jacob again was inevitable, and she wouldn’t be able to hide forever.
Damnit!
Jacob Underwood had been her neighbor for about six months, and she’d been infatuated with him for about…six months. He was tall, which wasn’t that big of a deal except that he was about six inches taller than her, and at five-feet, ten-inches tall, most men didn’t tower over her.
Jacob did, though, and she loved it.
She also loved that his shoulders were broad, his biceps were well defined, and his chest was solid muscle. In fact, he was solid muscle everywhere, and she was sure the term six-pack abs didn’t apply to him.
God, just thinking about his hard, toned body, and all the ways she wanted to rub herself against him made her pussy tingle with need, and a second later, liquid heat dampened her panties. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the freezer door, but the cool exterior did little to douse her lust.
He was walking sex-on-a-stick, but he was also so much more.
He was friendly and kind to not only her, but to others in the building, and he was a responsible neighbor. More importantly, he seemed to be a responsible person.
She knew he had a job from one of their short conversations, and it didn’t surprise her at all that his job was in security. He seemed like a natural protector, and though he sometimes worked odd hours, he never seemed to mind the long hours, or going the extra mile for someone in need.
It was rare, but sometimes she could hear him come home late at night, answer his phone before he even put his key in the door, and then turn around and leave again. Remarkably, his voice never held malice or contempt toward whomever was on the line, but he always remained patient, rational, and determined.
They weren’t sex calls either. She knew enough about booty calls to understand the voice fluctuations and flirting that went into a hook-up, and Jacob’s voice never held any of the signs. She’d also never seen a single woman in his apartment. Every once in a while, a female would visit him, but they were always accompanied by a man, and definitely unavailable.
She briefly wondered why that was, but decided she didn’t care. The last thing she wanted to see was a ton of women strolling in and out of Jacob’s apartment. Not that she had any claim on him. Nor would she ever.
Men like Jacob didn’t date women like her.
He asked you out once.
Stupid conscious.
She wasn’t a complete idiot. She remembered perfectly well the time he had asked her out, and her perfectly stupid response stating she had a boyfriend. It wasn’t true, of course. All she’d had was David, but deep down, she knew a man like Jacob could never really be interested in a girl like her.
He was perfection, and she was…not.
She remembered his secret, and laughed at her previous assessment. He was way more than perfection, he was otherworldly. It was the only thing that fit.
How else would you explain a man turning into a bear?
If she hadn’t seen it with her own eyes, then she wouldn’t have believed it. But she had seen it. She’d been mildly shocked, entirely fascinated, and filled with about a billion questions…but she’d never been afraid.
Even now, months later, fear had never crossed her mind.
In fact, if she were being completely honest with herself, his ability to change had only made her want him more. She didn’t understand why that was exactly, nor did she ever plan on analyzing her feelings beyond acknowledging that she wanted him more than she’d ever wanted any man.
More than that, though, she wanted him to want her, too. Yes, he’d asked her out, but she had no idea why, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to know. From what she knew of him, he was a good man, and she didn’t want her perception of him tarnished.
She was already leery of the fact that he’d called her beautiful, and she didn’t want to hear any more lies coming from his lips. She also didn’t want to hear any jokes at her expense. Now that he’d seen nearly all of her, he’d be able to tease her about her imperfections for as long as they were neighbors.
Considering he’d only moved in six months ago, and she had no plans to move anytime soon, he could be across the hall for a very long time.
Damnit!
A braver woman would just suck it up and move on, but Avery knew she wasn’t a brave woman. Simply put, she was a coward.
Unfortunately, she was a coward that needed food.
After years of yo-yo dieting, and being told she’d be “pretty” if she just lost weight, she’d trained herself to eat right, and not despise exercise. Okay, walking was really the only thing she could handle, but she did it nearly every day, and she rarely indulged in junk food.
She wasn’t thin by any means though.
After initially losing some weight, and then gaining it back multiple times, she’d opted for a healthy lifestyle instead of a number on a scale, and it had been the best decision of her life. She liked food, she always had, but she liked herself more when she allowed herself to enjoy everything in moderation instead of limiting “bad” foods.
Her good habits would lead to her downfall now, though, because they were the reason why her fridge was empty and her cabinets were nearly bare. She’d missed her weekly grocery day, and though she could order in, it would only delay the inevitable for a few more hours, and really, what was the point.
As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t hide forever.
She started walking down the hall, determined to shower and leave her apartment with her head held high, when a sharp knock landed on her door.
She moved toward the door with quiet steps, and held her breath as she looked out the peephole. Jacob stood on the other side, and his chocolate brown eyes seemed to be looking directly at her. As if he knew where she stood, and that she was watching him.
Hell, he probably did know.
Shit!
She pulled away from the peephole, and let out the breath she’d been holding. What should she do? Did he know she was inside? Could she ignore him?
“Avery, I know you’re in there,” he said. “Open the door.”
He spoke in a regular conversational tone, but his deep baritone seemed to rumble through the wood, and envelope her in warmth. Need shot down her spine, and her body betrayed her as more heat dampened her panties.
To make matters worse, she wanted to please him. She wanted to obey his every command with a desire she didn’t understand, and before she could fully think about the consequences of her actions, she opened the door.
Holy hell!
Why was he so freaking gorgeous? Avery pulled open the door and stared at Jacob like a woman in a trance. He was wearing a dark blue t-shirt that was stretched across his hard chest, and the soft sleeves molded to his biceps in way that made her mouth water. Loose, faded jeans hung low on his hips, and a pair of black flip-flops covered his perfect feet.
Perfect feet?
God, she had it bad, because even his feet were perfect.
“Hey, beautiful,” he said, smiling. “I thought you might be hungry.”
She glanced down at her outfit, and hastily took a step back. Had she brushed her teeth today? Her hair? Hell, she couldn’t remember, but she’d been wearing the same outfit for two days. The baggy sweatpants and worn-out t-shirt were better than the sexy lingerie, but not by much. Especially since the t-shirt had a hole in the armpit and some kind of stain on the top of one of her boobs.
Just freaking great!
“I’m not.”
She stated the words vehemently, but her bold declaration was immediately rebuked by her stomach. A loud and long growl filled the air between them, and Avery felt her cheeks warm at the same time she wished for the floor to open up and swallow her whole.
Jacob raised an eyebrow, smiled, and held out the bag he was holding.
“I brought Chinese.”
As soon as he held out the bag, he hadn’t needed to clarify what was inside. The smell of chow mien, fried rice, broccoli beef, and something fried, probably egg rolls, made her mouth water, and, afraid that her stomach would betray her again, she took another step back.
Now that he’d come to her, and seen her at her worst—again—there was really no reason to stay hidden. She had no idea what he wanted, but she was starving, and she wanted the food he offered.
“Fine,” she said, taking a third step back. “You can come in, but I need a few minutes. I’ll be right back.”
She turned, and forced herself to walk to her bedroom instead of running like she wanted to. She knew she didn’t have to worry about Jacob closing the front door, or bothering her while she showered, but she still locked the bedroom door before she got undressed.
As she stripped off her clothes, she glanced at the flimsy lock, and realized it would do no good if she really wanted to keep him out. Luckily, she knew he wouldn’t try to get in.
Whatever his reasons were for bringing over food, she doubted they had anything to do with seeing her naked. Unfortunately, she had no idea about his motives, and she wouldn’t know until she joined him for dinner.
She shoved everything out of her mind, and focused on showering as fast as possible. It wasn’t easy, especially because she’d had to wash her hair, too, but she if she was going to share a meal with Jacob, then she wanted to be clean everywhere.
***
Jacob watched Avery escape down the hall, and when she ducked into her bedroom, he turned and closed the front door. His hand tightened on the knob when he heard the water from the shower turn on, and he couldn’t stop the low growl that escaped.
He let go of the door, and stared down the hall again.
Every instinct told him to follow her.
It would be so easy to break the flimsy lock on her bedroom door, burst into her bathroom, pull back the shower curtain, and join her under the warm water. He would kiss her hard, and she would kiss him back with the same raw abandon. When he lifted her curvy body to pin her against the wet tile, she would wrap her legs around him confident and uninhibited, and then he would sink his cock into her soft wet channel…
He shook his head, and forced his feet to move him into the small dining area next to the kitchen. He set the bag of food on the table, and willed his hard cock to go down.
It wasn’t hard when he ran the same scenario through his head again, and pictured what would really happen if he broke into Avery’s bedroom after she’d trusted him enough to allow him into her home. In short, she would kick him out and never speak to him again.
His bear paced back and forth, angry that they weren’t claiming her right now, but the man knew better. Aside from just getting out of a long-term relationship, Avery always seemed to hold back a little whenever she noticed him. It was almost as if her confidence slipped a little in his presence, and that was something he couldn’t tolerate.
When he did claim her, she would be ready and willing, but even more important, she would be confident and secure in his feelings. He never wanted her to feel anything other than perfect when they were together.
He heard the soft pad of Avery’s feet approaching, and a second later the combined scents of mint, roses, and mate hit his nose. Avery’s own unique scent reminded him of the forest after the sun went down on a warm summer evening, and that, combined with her fresh mint toothpaste, and rose scented shampoo, meant home to both the man and the bear.
He turned to face her, and his cock immediately started to swell.
She was dressed in a pair of black yoga pants and a more form-fitting t-shirt than the one she’d had on earlier, and her still-wet, shoulder-length, auburn hair was pulled back in a ponytail.
Honestly, she was beautiful no matter what she wore, but he was glad she’d ditched the baggy sweats and worn-out t-shirt. He had a feeling she’d only donned the clothes because she’d been dumped, and he hated the fact that she’d allowed herself to feel so bad about someone so terrible.
“Hey,” she said, smiling tentatively.
He reminded himself that winning her over would take time, but that didn’t mean he was going to hide in the shadows until she was ready.
“Hey, beautiful,” he said. “Are you ready to eat?”
Her smile fell for an instant, but she quickly plastered on another, and moved passed him into the kitchen. He knew he hated her uneasy smiles, but at least they were real. This new smile was completely fake, and he disliked it more than the others. He had no idea what caused the fake grin, but he was going to find out. And soon.
“Yeah, I’m starving,” she said, pulling two plates out of the cupboard, and setting them on the table. “Thank you for bringing dinner. I’m sorry, but I only have water or coffee to drink.”
She hadn’t asked a question, but he answered her anyway.
“Water is fine.”
She grabbed two forks and two water bottles, and he unpacked the bag of food and opened up the containers. They piled their plates with food in companionable silence, and he didn’t speak again until she was halfway done with her plate.
“So, how are you doing?” he asked.
She stopped eating and looked at him curiously.
“I’m fine,” she replied, “and you?”
“I meant since the break-up?”
She stopped her fork mid-bite, looked at him again, and then slowly lowered the utensil back to her plate. Her fake smile was replaced with a frown, and her green eyes sparkled with anger. He hadn’t meant to make her mad, but he liked the fire he saw in her Emerald orbs. Still, he wasn’t stupid enough to want her angry with him.
“You want to talk about my break-up? Why?” she asked, shaking her head. “You know what? Never mind. You want to talk? We’ll talk. Let’s see—”
“Wait,” he said, holding up a hand, and stopping her tirade. “I’m not sure why you’re angry with me, but I’m guessing it has something to do with the fact that you think I’m going to make fun of you or something, so let me stop you right there. I honestly hated the guy, and I’m glad you’re done with him, but I don’t like to see you hurting. My question was out of concern for your well-being, and nothing more.”
“Concern for my well-being?”
The bewildered look on her face made him want to hunt down the loser all over again.
“Yes,” he affirmed. “I care about you, Avery. I always have.”
“You’ve only lived here for six months,” she accused.
“Yes,” he nodded, “and I’ve cared about you since I moved in.”
“Why did you move in here, anyway?”
Her tone was harsh, and full of censure, but he ignored it because he knew she was on the defensive. It would take time to build her trust, and luckily, he had all the time in the world.
“I used to rent a house on the other end of town, but the owner sold, and the buyers wanted to use it as a primary residence.”
“Okay, but why move in here? Why not buy your own house?”
“I wanted to wait until I found my m—I wanted to be married first,” he shrugged. “Or at least engaged.”
“That’s…sweet,” she smiled.
It was a genuine smile, but it disappeared quickly.
“Wait, are you involved with anyone right now?”
Even though the question was seemingly innocent, he couldn’t stop the growl that rumbled in his chest. He knew what her ex was, and what kind of relationship they shared, and that knowledge was the only thing keeping his anger at bay.
“If I was,” he growled, “then I wouldn’t be here with you. I don’t cheat. Ever.”
“Sorry,” she said. “I…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that. My ex…David, that’s his name…he slept around a lot, and I don’t…”
She made a face, and looked down at her plate as the unfinished thought hung in the air between them. He desperately wanted to know where the sentence was leading, but when it was clear she wouldn’t say anything else, he ended the tension.
“Avery, look at me.”
She took her time obeying his command, but he wasn’t worried that she would. Just like earlier when he’d first arrived, she eventually acquiesced, and slowly raised her eyes to his.
“You have nothing to be sorry for, beautiful. You can ask me anything, seriously, anything at all, and I will always be honest with you. I got angry because I hate that guy, and I hate the fact that you stayed with him for so long, and I don’t want you thinking I’m anything like him, because I’m not.”
“I know you’re not like him, Jacob.”
***
Avery couldn’t believe the sexy, whispered declaration that slid out of her mouth. What the hell? So what if Jacob cared about her? That was nice, but it wasn’t like he was applying for the job of her next boyfriend.
Except…it kind of felt like he was.
God, she needed to get a grip. She still didn’t know his motives for arriving with food, but she wasn’t stupid. If he wanted something from her, then it wouldn’t be for long term, so why was he acting like he wanted her forever?
Sex.
Of course. Duh!
Men were so stupid.
If he wanted a chance to fuck the fat girl, all he had to do was say so. Hell, he’d already seen almost all of her, so he already knew everything she had to offer. And everything she didn’t. In either case, her flaws wouldn’t be a surprise to him.
Maybe that was a good thing.
Knowing that he’d already seen her naked body would definitely take some of the pressure off. Especially because he was flawless. Truthfully, sex with Jacob would be a dream come true—a very sexy dream—but she needed to clear some stuff up first.
“Good.”
Good? What was he talking about?
Oh, yeah. Her statement that he wasn’t like her ex.
His chocolate eyes briefly focused on her lips before meeting her eyes again, and the subtle move made her pussy throb with need. Had she ever been truly satisfied by a man before? If she had, then she couldn’t remember, and that was saying something considering she could count all of her sexual partners on one hand.
Either every guy she’d ever dated had no idea what they were doing in the bedroom, or there was something wrong with her. Considering she had no problem finding release with battery operated toys, she was pretty sure she wasn’t at fault, but she ached with a carnal desperation to find out.
Before that happened, though, she wanted to tell Jacob the truth. Deep down, she worried it might ruin whatever was going on between them, but if something did happen, she didn’t want him to think she was on the rebound.
For some reason, it was important that he know.
“I’m not sad, or hurting,” she started, “I’m just mad. I’m not even mad at him. Not really. But I am mad at myself.”
“What? Why?”
Avery sighed. Maybe telling Jacob everything wasn’t such a good idea. If they both wanted sex, then why did she have to bring her past into it? Plus, there were some things she didn’t want him to know. Like how undesirable most men found her, or just how pathetic she really was.
The minutes ticked by, but Jacob didn’t say a word. He had the patience of a saint, but she wasn’t surprised. She had a feeling he would wait as long as it took for her to get her thoughts together, and the knowledge was both super sweet and highly aggravating.
“Mainly because I knew what he was doing, and I allowed it to happen. Over and over again. I’m not…let’s just say that guys don’t really like me—”
“I like you,” he interrupted.
“Okay, well most guys don’t like the way I look,” she held up her hand when it was clear he would interrupt again. “Let me finish this.”
Jacob nodded, and she continued.
“Trust me. Men have never been banging down my door, and that’s fine, but he’s always been around. We dated briefly in high school, and I was glad to be rid of him when I left for college, but after…,” she shrugged. “Well, I was stupid. The worst part is, I’ve never loved him, and the other night I realized I don’t like him either. Not even a little bit. He has no job, no security, and he’s really arrogant. When he has no reason to be. Which makes it about ten times more annoying. Or maybe he just annoys me…I don’t know. What I do know is that he’s a loser, and he always will be, and I’m better off without him. So, I’m just mad, and I hate the fact that I wasted so much time on him—with him—for nothing.”
“I’m glad you figured all that out, but it’s still a lot to deal with in only a couple of days. Especially since he’s been a part of your life so long. I’m glad you’re not sad, though, and that you’re ready to move forward. Plus, you’re wrong about one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“You did get that sexy, red lace outfit out of the deal.”
Avery rolled her eyes, and laughed.
She couldn’t help it.
She had no idea whether Jacob was making fun of her or not, but she didn’t think he was. He seemed serious about the outfit, but she didn’t understand how that could be. Either way, she was glad the revealing garment was in the trash where it belonged.
“No, I tossed it,” she admitted.
“That’s a shame,” he said, “but because you bought it for that loser, and he didn’t even appreciate it, I’m not too broken up about it. You need to get another one, though. In black this time. I liked the red, but I’d love to see you covered in black lace.”
“Maybe one day,” she said.
Even though she recognized the line for what it was, Avery still felt her cheeks flame. Jacob was saying all the right things, and after aiming so low for so long, she longed to find a man like him to spend the rest of her life with.
The need to voice the truth about her relationship with David still didn’t make any sense, but she was proud she was able to say the words without overtly making a fool of herself. The experience had been humiliating on the inside, though, and the uncertainty of what to do or say next had her on her feet and clearing the table.
As she slowly closed up the containers, and started to put everything back in the bag, Jacob picked up their dishes and placed them in the sink. He even ran the water so the food wouldn’t stick, and she appreciated the gesture.
“Do you want to take the leftovers home?” she asked.
“No, you keep them,” he said. “You didn’t eat near enough, and I’m not leaving yet.”
Didn’t eat enough? He wasn’t?
“We still have more to talk about.”
We do?
Avery placed the food in the fridge, but before she had time to assemble her thoughts, she found Jacob in her small living room, sitting on one end of her couch like he belonged there.
She sat on the other end.
If they were going to talk, then she wanted to see his face, and deep down, she wasn’t confident enough to sit next to him anyway.
Luckily, she didn’t have to wait for him to say what he wanted to say.
“As I said before, I like you, Avery,” he started. “Hell, I more than like you, and waiting for you to dump that loser hasn’t been easy. It’s one of the reasons I asked you out even though you were still seeing him. I had hoped… Never mind. Anyway, now that you’re done with him, if you really think you’re done, then I’m hoping you’ll give me a chance.”
Avery couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. He couldn’t like her, not really. He just wanted sex…didn’t he? She had no reason not to believe him—nothing except her prior experience with men—but Jacob wasn’t like other men. Still, she was skeptical.
“You like me?” she asked. “You want to date me? Why?”
“What do you mean, why?”
“I mean, why? Why do you like me? Why are you asking me out?”
His brow furrowed, but he answered her anyway.
“I like you because you’re smart, friendly, and kind. You rarely have harsh words for people, even if they deserve it, and I’ve seen the way you help others in the building. I’m also highly attracted you. I think you’re beautiful—”
“I’m not beautiful.”
“Yes, you are,” he growled. “To me you are.”
It was the second time he’d made that growly sound, and she’d be lying if said she didn’t love it. It was sexy as hell, but it also reminded her of his extraordinary abilities.
“But you’re so…amazing,” she finally finished, unsure how to bring up the subject of his ability to change into a bear. “You could have anyone.”
He smiled, big, and she knew she was right.
“I want you.”
The words came out confident, determined and sincere, making it nearly impossible not to believe them. She still had her doubts, but either way, she wasn’t about to argue with him about it.
He seemed to be offering her exactly what she wanted, and she’d be a fool not to take it, but she had to clarify one thing.
“Fine. What about sex?”
He stared at her for a full minute before answering, and she relished in the fact that she’d apparently rendered him speechless.
“What exactly are you asking, beautiful?”
“Does your offer include sex?”
“When you’re ready,” he started calmly. “Hell, yes!”
The last two words were the equivalent of “duh,” and Avery couldn’t help but smile. For some reason, this perfect man wanted her, and if he—or the universe—was playing some joke on her, well then, there was one thing she wanted more than anything.
“I’m ready now.”
“I don’t think now is a good idea.”
Of course, it wasn’t. She wasn’t even surprised by his response. Whatever game he was playing, he could go play it with someone else.
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” she said, standing. She walked to the door, and gripped the knob. “Thanks for dinner, but I think you’d better go.”
“Avery.” He didn’t move, and he didn’t speak again until her gaze met his. “You just got out of a relationship, and though it wasn’t ideal, I think you need some time—”
“Not ideal is putting it mildly, and I already told you I didn’t love him. Not even a little bit. The only thing I need right now is sex with someone who knows what they hell they are doing, and If you can’t help me, then I think you should just go.”
The bold words seemed to shock him almost as much as they shocked her, but she wasn’t about to back down. If Jacob really wanted to date her, then he should want this, too, and if he didn’t, then she didn’t want to waste her time.
Without another word, he stood, and her heart sank.