Ian

“Ian, I’m so glad you could make it.” Harbor takes a hesitant step toward me when she sees me walk on set.

Her easygoing smile takes my breath away, and I realize I missed so much as she heads my way.

Now that she is standing in front of me tugging on her ponytail, I know I‘m never going to let her go.

“Sorry I’m late. It was harder than I thought getting through security.” The words are lame, but they are all I can come up with. I want to tell her how much I love her, how much I miss her, but her presence has struck me dumb.

“Oh, I hope it wasn’t too much trouble.” She glances around as if looking for the person who stalled me.

We stare at each other as we fumble with what to say next. I hate the stilted conversation we are having. One thing Harbor and I never had a problem doing was having conversations. We would sit on the couch until the sun came up over the horizon talking and laughing. Now we seem to be at a loss for anything tangible.

“Harbor—” I start, but before I can figure out what I’m going to say, we’re interrupted by a woman in a navy-blue business suit holding a clipboard.

“Harbor, we’re getting ready to start your scene. I need you on set. Your friend can sit over there.” She points at a row of chairs off to the side, behind the cameras.

“You’re going to stay, right?” Harbor walks backwards so she doesn’t have to turn her back to me as she waits for an answer.

“I wouldn’t leave for the world.”

A wide smile spreads over her face and it’s confirmed that she owns my heart. The day goes by in a whirl of activity. I’m awestruck at Harbor’s talent. She is amazing and dedicated and talented. I knew all of this before, but seeing her in action shows me what an ass I’ve been.

The light shining through her as she repeats each scene until the director is satisfied cannot be denied. I squirm in my seat as memories of all the things I did to Harbor slam into me. The shit I put her through was inexcusable. She was just trying to follow her dream, the dream she had since kindergarten, and I refused to support her. I make a promise that I will support her from this day forward, whether she takes me back or not. I will always be there to cheer her on.

Harbor glides over to me when shooting for the day is finished, the fatigue she should be feeling after a grueling day not evident. She is happy, glowing.

“You were amazing,” I tell her, still reeling from her performance.

Her cheeks redden and her smile gets even wider. “That was amazing. I thought doing commercials would’ve made this feel like another day at work, but—”

“It wasn’t.” I finish for her.

“No, it was so exciting! I was afraid they would kick me off the set when they saw how excited I was just being here.”

I throw my arm around her shoulders and pull her in close. She stiffens for a moment then sinks into me as I guide us toward my car. “You looked like a pro. I bet the casting director is kicking himself for not casting you as the lead.”

She giggles and shifts so she’s facing me head on and I stop walking just to study her. “I’m glad you called me.”

“Not as much as I am.”

“Were you really going to fly back to New York?”

I open the door for her and she slides into the passenger seat, her gaze never leaving mine. I can’t help it, the pull to be with her is too strong. Leaning in, I press a quick kiss on her lips, afraid to linger too long and not be able to pull away.

“I was.”

Harbor lets out a shaky breath and I close her door, moving to the driver’s side. My hands are sweating when I start the car and hang onto the steering wheel. I don’t want to fuck this up and I feel like I’m walking on a field loaded with landmines.

Harbor puts her hand on my thigh and I turn my attention to her. She is watching me as if she can read my thoughts and I throw caution to the wind, letting go of the control I’m so used to holding on to.

“I know we have a lot to discuss and I have a lot to apologize for. Is it alright if we go back to my house?” Her eyes widen and I stammer, “Just to talk. If you want go to a restaurant or you want me to take you back to your hotel, I will, but I’m hoping that you inviting me to the set today means you are willing to hear me out.”

Harbor squeezes my leg and understanding lights her face. “I think talking in private is exactly what we need.”

We drive in silence, Harbor’s hand on my thigh and mine covering hers.

At my house, I watch as she wanders around taking in the spacious floor plan.

Words spill out of me before I can form what I want to say. “Harbor, I was an idiot.”

She spins around, her mouth open in an o as she searches my face.

“I pushed you away and I refused to recognize how important your dream of becoming an actress was. I wish I could take everything back and start over again. I’m sorry.”

Harbor continues to gawk at me as if I grew another head, and the way I fumbled my apology I’m feeling like a freak show.

“What about Vanessa?” Her hands find her hips and I chuckle.

She isn’t going to let me off the hook easily, but the fact that she hasn’t run out of my house screaming for me to never contact her again gives me hope. Even the tiniest shred of hope is enough to continue.

“It didn’t work out the first time and I should’ve known it wasn’t going to work out the second.”

“Collette told me you caught her cheating on you with your brother. I just don’t understand why you took her back.” Harbor’s hands fly off her hips and are thrown up in the air.

With slow, steady steps, I move to Harbor and take her hand, leading her to the back porch where we can watch the waves breaking over the shore. I have a lot of explaining to do. I’m prepared to answer all of her questions and the least I can do is make sure she’s comfortable.

“I took her back because it was the easy path.”

“That makes no sense.” Harbor huffs, her eyes latched on mine, waiting for me to help her see why I made the decisions I did.

“Vanessa was the easy path because I knew I would never fall in love with her. I’m starting to see I was never in love with her in the beginning. She’d already hurt me and I wasn’t affected by it other than the betrayal. My heart was hardened against her and I knew I was safe from letting her back in.”

“That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. You take your ex back because you are certain you will never fall in love with her, so your feelings are safe. Ian, the amount of control you require in your life is exhausting.”

I grip her hand and when she doesn’t pull away, I take a chance and pull her onto my lap. She makes a startled noise, but she stays where she is. I inhale her scent and peace settles over me.

“Since I’ve been away from you I’ve been working on my control problem. Vanessa left me because she saw that I wasn’t going to change my controlling ways and I’m pretty sure she recognized that I didn’t have any strong feelings for her.”

Harbor begins to move off my lap but I wrap my arms around her, anchoring her to me.

“Ian, I don’t think this is going to work. I can’t go back to the way we were. I can’t even call what we were in the past a relationship. You were so afraid to commit to me and your constant need to keep your life organized was exhausting. Life is messy, that’s what makes it fun. You never know what’s going to happen and the secrets the future holds shouldn’t be ominous, but exciting. I can promise I never thought I would be in a movie, but here I am, and I’m looking forward to what comes next. If I have a partner, I want that person to be beside me ready to face the next challenge or success without the need to bend life to their will.” Harbor’s face is bright red and her eyes are shimmering with tears on the verge of falling.

My heart beats hard, the guilt for having doubted her, doubted us making it hard to breathe. “Are you done?”

“Really, Ian,” she spits, struggling to get off my lap.

“Yes, really. You’re right about all of it. I’ve been working on allowing life to unfold the way it was meant to, instead of bending it to my will as you so eloquently put it. I’ve changed Harbor. I shouldn’t have let you feel like you weren’t important to me. The truth is, I pushed you away because I couldn’t control the way you were making me feel. It was a mistake not claiming you as my girlfriend when we were in New York. It wasn’t fair to either of us. But the biggest mistake I made was not expressing how utterly in love with you I am.”

Harbor stops struggling, and I’m certain she is holding her breath.

“You love me?” She inhales sharply as her eyes roam all over my face.

I allow her to search out the answers she needs, because all I need is her. “I’ve loved you since the moment you ran into my car.”

Harbor lets out a loud laugh as tears fall down her cheeks. “Your car ran into me.”

“And it was the luckiest day of my life. Please say you forgive me and I’ll use every hour of every day from here on out making up to you all the things I did wrong. I want you to be my girlfriend. I want to commit to you and you alone. I need you in my life, Harbor, and I was an idiot for not telling you sooner.”

“I love you too,” she whispers before our lips clash together, all the things we want to say to each other pushed to the side, the pull of each other’s touch too strong.

Harbor pulls away first and I miss her the moment her lips disconnect from mine. “Mitch is still my agent. He has done a lot for me and I’m not going to discard him because I’m back with you. You need to know, when I commit to someone I don’t take it lightly. I’m not going to cheat on you like Vanessa did, but I will need you to trust me. No more jealous fits, no more punching someone because you’re angry.”

“Deal,” I tell her, wanting her lips back on mine. “I was irrationally jealous of Mitch. That was all my fault and I owe him an apology. He was right to try to protect you from me.”

Her eyes get even larger in her face. “You have done a lot of thinking. So you know, I’m going to continue my acting career. I expect you to support me, just as I’ll support you in your dream to make Strong Enterprises the best company it can be.”

“Seeing you on set today sheds light on how much you love acting. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like I didn’t support your dream. You’re so talented and I was so proud of you today.” I run my hands up her arms, over her shoulders, neck, until I have her face cupped in my hands. “Harbor, I will be the partner you need if you let me.”

Her smile could have lit up a pitch-black room. The light she carries with her encases me and I want to kick myself for letting her go as long as I did.

“I love you, Harbor,” I confess, bringing her lips back to mine.

“I love you too, Ian,” she mutters against my mouth before we are lost in each other.