Lincoln

“Are you going somewhere important?” my mom asked from her place in my doorway as she watched me walk about the room. I had spent most of my time in my room, away from everyone else, so my mom had a habit of popping in to chat or check up on me. Usually, I was sitting around in designer athletic apparel that I usually wore whenever I was sitting at home. However, on that day, the day I had decided to meet with Harper, I was dressed my best. I wanted to look casual but also show her that I wasn’t the same man I had once been. Throughout that morning, I had changed my clothes nearly a dozen times. I didn’t know if I should have worn a suit or if I should have stayed casual and worn jeans and a T-shirt. I had fussed so much that I wound up wearing what I had decided on in the beginning—a pair of my designer, fitted jeans, a stark white button-down with the sleeves rolled up just a bit and a few buttons undone, and a pair of my most expensive brown cowboy boots. I had messed with my long dark hair a bit, giving it that “just rolled out of bed” look that women loved so much, and I had dabbed some cologne on my neck.

I glanced over at my mom with a sly grin. “I was going to stop by the Callahan ranch. I leased some of the property, so I was going to talk to Harper.”

I swore my mom’s jaw almost dropped when I spoke the words, but she remained as composed as she could. She walked over to me and looked at me like I had just said the stupidest thing she had ever heard.

“You leased that land after knowing that you hurt that girl?” she asked me as if she couldn’t believe the words that had come out of my mouth. The look in her eyes was one I hadn’t seen since I was a young child bringing home my suspension slips. “Do you have any idea of what that girl went through when you left? She took it worse than even I did. At least I heard from you. She was waiting for you for so long, and now you want to just waltz right back like you did no wrong?”

“I know I did wrong, Ma,” I said. I mentally slapped myself at once. “Ma” was something I tried not to say too often. I didn’t want to sound like a hick, and I didn’t want the hick accent to stick with me when I finally did leave for the city again.

“So if you know you did wrong, why are you going to walk back into that girl’s life?” she asked me with crossed arms.

“I leased the land to help,” I told her flatly. “I am going to help her. It’s the least I can do after all I did and everything she’s going through.”

“Something tells me you have more up your sleeves than just that,” my mother said knowingly.

“You know me well, but I’ll stay as cordial as she’ll let me,” I said, flashing her a devilish smile. I leaned over and kissed her cheek before making my way out. I had a rental car waiting for me outside. It was a 2017 Dodge Ram in a nice candy-apple red color. I whistled when I saw it, and I felt Andrew staring at me as I hopped in. Whether it was envy or something else, I didn’t care. I was driving a new truck and he was stuck with a barely working car. I tossed him a wink as I started the truck and made my way to the Callahan Family Ranch.

It was about a five-mile drive from my mom’s new house to Harper’s home. During the drive, I found myself practicing what I was going to say to her and wondering how she would greet me. A huge part of me expected her to greet me with open arms. The last time I had seen her, she had been sleeping naked in my arms after we’d given up our virginities to one another. It had been so hard for me to leave her there, but I’d had bigger dreams and other places to be. Sure, she could have come with me. but there was no way we would have made it in the big city together. I had been young, stupid, self-destructive, and still looking for myself. There was no way that she would have put up with my bullshit.

I wondered what she looked like as well. Was she still dainty and delicate? The last I remembered was her tanned skin contrasting against her nearly platinum-blond hair. She had blue eyes that even the skies envied, and they had looked at me like I was the only man on the planet. Her eyes alone had made me feel like I mattered. They had been my motivation to build the life I had, even if I had to leave them behind to achieve it. Over the years, I dreamed about her eyes and thought back to the first day I had looked into them. I had been young then, but even I had known that she was something special.

Before I knew it, I was driving past the sign that read “Callahan Family Ranch: Bed, Breakfast, and Barn” in big white letters on the brown fence. I felt butterflies begin to dance within me. I felt the urge to pull over and vomit, but I held it together. I didn’t want to smell like puke when I saw her for the first time. I couldn’t help but hope that she welcomed me instead of closing the door in my face.

I parked the truck and got out. My hands fidgeted and danced, confused. I decided to settle them in my pockets as I walked up the steps of her house. I knocked on the door and rested that hand on the doorframe, attempting to play it cool and casual. I waited a while, and I heard her dogs bark from behind the door. I smiled as I remembered the two devilish Dalmatians I had played with when I’d been younger. It was then, so suddenly, that all the memories began flooding to me at once. I was almost overwhelmed, but I didn’t fully get consumed by the emotions until the door opened and a gorgeous blond goddess stood right in front of me.

I was taken off guard by how beautiful Harper was. My heart skipped a beat when I looked into her eyes, and I could have sworn that I was transported back ten years. She hadn’t aged a single day. In fact, she seemed to look more youthful. Even with distress written over her smooth features, I found myself in awe of the existence of someone so attractive. Her long blond hair cascaded down in ripples that passed her shoulders, and her mesmerizing blue eyes looked up into mine with emotions so intense I found myself looking away. Her body was slim, and she looked as if she had even lost weight. She had always been attractive, even when we’d been in high school. I couldn’t deny that she was the best-looking woman I had ever laid eyes on. The urge to kiss her tickled my lips, but I had to resist. I busied them by turning them up into my signature smile.

“Good morning, Harper. Have I caught you at a bad time?” I asked her. For some reason, I found my posture straightening and my voice getting deeper as I spoke. All traces of my Western accent were gone from my voice, much like when I flirted with women in New York. I was playing it smooth and approaching her like I did the other women who managed to fall for my charm.

Harper crossed her arms over her ample chest and cocked her eyebrow. “Seeing as you’re leasing some space and renting a room, you have just as much of a right to be here as me.”

“So you already found out about that, huh?” I said. I wasn’t surprised that she knew, and I figured she had been expecting me to show up sooner rather than later, but I couldn't understand the hostility that was emanating from her body.

“Well my lawyer was legally obligated to tell me who had decided to lease the land,” she said. She stepped back from the door and motioned for me to enter. “You might as well come in and I’ll give you the tour.”

“I’ve been here many times before. Or have you forgotten?” I playfully questioned as I walked over the threshold and into the foyer of the family home.

“I try to,” she shot back at me. She closed the door and walked past me, motioning around to the various areas of the house as she walked. Her voice was almost robotic. There was no emotion, and a single monotone note carried her words. I felt my heart sinking lower into my gut.

As we walked, I found myself sneaking looks at her. She was wearing an old emerald T-shirt under a pair of loosely fitted denim overalls that hid her figure. When we’d dated, she’d had a knockout body. She had been fit, lean, and had possessed all the assets that would enamor most men. She had been rather busty, having matured earlier than most girls in our school. On the first and only night we made love, I hadn’t been able to keep my hands off her chest. It wasn’t until the night I lost my virginity to Harper that I found out I was, indeed, a breast man.

“And this is where you will be sleeping,” she announced softly, breaking me out of my thoughts with those eight meaningless words.

I blinked myself back to reality and looked at her. She was looking at me, but, based on her eyes, she was looking past me. It was like I was transparent and she was far more interested in the interior behind me. Her eyes had once looked at me like I was the only man who had ever existed. I had once felt so important in her presence. At that moment, she looked at me like I was none other than a stranger boarding in her home. There was no affection in her gaze. A sense of cold numbness pierced my chest upon realizing this. Something inside me wanted to change this, fast.

“Will you be joining me?” I flirted shamelessly. When we’d been younger, my cheesy pickup lines and flirtatious remarks would lighten any mood. This time, however, she didn’t even spare me a pity chortle.

“Do you have your bags with you?” she asked, completely disregarding my statement. I was taken aback by how she was treating me. Even if I had ghosted her a decade before, she should have been excited to see the man she had once loved. I couldn’t believe she was completely ignoring how tailored I was and didn’t even question how or why I could afford to lease her property for two times the amount the others had offered. It felt as if she didn’t care about me at all. That was a bitter pill to swallow.

“They’re at my mom’s house. I’ll grab them later,” I told her with a casual wave of my hand. If she was going to act like we didn’t have history, then I was going to make damn sure she was aware of how well I had done for myself. “I have to get them quick. I don’t really trust my siblings around my designer collection. I recently imported a collection of Armani suits directly from Italy, and I know Andrew would make a lot of money off them if he got his hands on them.”

Without blinking, completely unfazed, Harper walked past me and toward her kitchen. “I’ll give you the spare key so you can walk in and out as you please. I do ask that you keep the dogs behind the fenced-in areas so they don’t get out and run loose. My neighbor down the street has a nasty Rottweiler pup that I want to keep them away from.”

“Steven McMiller got another Rottweiler puppy? Isn’t that the fifth one?” I asked her. I didn’t know why I was trying so hard to get a conversation out of her. It was like pulling fingernails.

“It’s been ten years. The other ones have passed or run away. It’s his only dog now,” Harper said in a short, almost snappish tone.

I didn’t know how to react. There had been no preparing myself for the hostility Harper possessed at that moment. I was at a loss for words, because she had always been so warm, inviting, and accepting, and yet right now she was acting like I was the spawn of Satan himself. She kept her distance and remained cold. No emotion was apparent on her face, and I swore she flinched back whenever I tried to close a little of the distance between us. She was treating me like I had done her drastic harm.

I guessed, in a way, I had.

Things got quiet between us for a while when she began searching her kitchen for the spare key. In one last-ditch effort, I decided to speak with her about the one thing that would cause her to close herself off so tightly from the world.

“I’m sorry about your loss, Harper,” I muttered softly. “Your parents were amazing people.”

Her body stilled. As if she had looked into the eyes of Medusa, she became rigged like stone and stood motionless for seconds that imitated minutes. I made a motion to move forward to rub her back, to pull her close, to give her some form of comfort. However, when I did, she slammed the kitchen drawer she had been looking through closed. In one swift motion, she stood tall and noble. She looked at me like I was an army and she was braving an arduous battle alone. There was a fierce resistance in her eyes. It was then that I understood that the walls she had built were the dam that held back the tears.

“Why are you here, Lincoln?” she asked. Hearing my name roll off her tongue with so much venom and anger only increased the guilt that resided within me.

I couldn’t let her see that I was hurt. If she was over me, I just had to work hard to make sure she realized that she still loved me. I knew deep down inside her, there were parts of her that wanted me to sweep her off her feet and go about life just as we had planned. There was no forgetting a man like me, especially when I had been her first love.

“Isn’t it obvious? I want to help you get back on your feet with your family business,” I announced proudly. I boldly took a few steps closer to her and flashed her my charming grin. “Besides, I have a few horses being flown out from France, and I think they would complement this place well. You just need a little pick-me-up, and then this place can be raking in millions.”

“Why does a man like you have horses?” she hissed at once. “Haven’t you lost touch with this life while living in the city?”

“Whoa, calm down. I never lose my touch, Harper. Besides, horses are a luxurious animal that can prove a person’s status with those who have the trained eye,” I said. “And horses are beautiful beasts. You know firsthand that I adore beautiful things. Having a collection of horses would be the perfect asset to add to my prized possessions.”

“Oh? And what would anyone in this town want to do with horses flown out from France?” she asked while crossing her arms over her chest defiantly.

“I don’t care about the locals, and neither should you. We want to attract a higher-paying crowd. There’s nothing and no one of value here that could benefit us, so we’re going to have to seek resources elsewhere.”

Her jaw dropped like my words had offended her. She shook her head and tossed the house keys in my direction.

“There is no we in this. You can keep your business matters separate from mine,” she angrily spat.

It was like I was just making her angrier the more I spoke. I couldn’t comprehend exactly why I deserved such animosity. She was actively hostile, and I was just trying to calm her down with some casual conversation and charm. It wasn’t my fault she was taking offense to what I was saying, but I couldn’t help but wonder exactly what I was doing so wrong. Of course, it could have been how I’d left her. I would have been upset too, but I would have damn sure gotten over it after ten years, especially if I’d realized that she had left me to accomplish bigger things in better places. My heart had been broken too when I’d left, but I was being respectful and polite to Harper. I didn’t expect her to jump my bones. I just expected her to be civil and cordial with me. We hadn’t seen one another in so long. It would have been nice to catch up.

Harper was a logical person. It couldn’t have been me leaving.

“Why are you so upset with me, Harper?” I asked her. I was tired of beating around the bush. I was doing something that so many other people wouldn’t have done: I was investing my money to save her failing family business. The least she could have done was say thank you.

“Are you really asking that question, Mr. I’m-so-much-better-than-the-lowlifes-I left-behind?” she spat bitterly. “How can you ask something like that after flaunting your wealth and saying that the people you grew up around have no value?”

“I was just stating the obvious,” I said. “There are so many people here who are stuck. They settled into their boring lives and didn’t take risks. This town is like a ghost town of dreams and a purgatory for sad souls who can’t take the plunge.”

“Jesus Christ, Lincoln, you have changed so much,” Harper muttered.

“That’s not a bad thing at all. I left so I could change and grow,” I said. Me bringing up why I left seemed to soften her eyes a bit, but she quickly straightened her expression. I sighed and shook my head. “I’m not that pathetic little rodeo boy I used to be, Harper. I was so sad and lonely growing up. There was no one who was there for me, no one standing by my side while I had to deal with the judgement and isolation from everyone because my parents didn’t make as much as theirs. Now I have charity luncheons with Oprah and invest my money into people like Mike Duke and Bill Gates. I was a nobody who came from nothing. Now I have everything.”

“So why did you come back? If you have everything where you are, why are you here right now?”

“My mom’s been begging to see me for so long, and she can’t fly out to New York because she has to go to work,” I said.

“But why are you leasing my property? I spoke to my lawyer, and I know for a fact that you have enough money to buy all the land in this town five times over. You didn’t have to come in her pretending to be Superman to save my day.”

I put on my signature smile and tossed her a flirtatious wink. “I just couldn’t forget about you after all these years, obviously. It gave me a reason to talk to you other than coming over to offer my condolences like everyone else is, I’m sure. Besides, this land is worth a lot. It was once the best ranch to visit in the country, and I know for a fact that we can return it to its former glory with a little digging, investing, and renovating.”

“There will be no renovating,” Harper said. “I’m leaving it just as my parents wanted. You can’t expect to walk in here and change everything around and have me agree to that.”

I took a step forward and brushed some of her long hair over her shoulder. She tensed, but she moved closer to the counter instead of walking away. I stared down into her gorgeous eyes, and she gazed up into mine. For just a moment, it felt like she was finally going to allow things to be easy between us. I raised my hand to cup her cheek. Despite her working on a farm, her skin was smooth and soft. She smelled like lavender and honey. I brushed my thumb gently across her skin. It was the first time I had touched her in so long, and the jolt of electricity between us was almost too much for me to bare.

“I know you missed me, Harper,” I mumbled gently. “You can’t resist what we had, and I know you feel it still. Why are you fighting it so hard? Don’t you remember the night we had before I left? Under our tree? You can’t keep fighting how intense that was for both of us. I can give you everything you need. You’ll never have to work on this raggedy ranch again.”

Just as I leaned down to capture her lips in mine, she pushed me away and shook her head. She stepped around me and walked to the opposite side of the kitchen where the back door was.

Without even looking at me, she muttered, “Some of us can’t afford to walk around flaunting money and dropping names. Unlike you, I have to work on this raggedy ranch.”

I couldn’t say anything else, because she had already walked through the back door and turned out of view. She had left me feeling like a complete ass. I was standing there staring at where she had once been like a buffoon who had just experienced an extremely humiliating fail. I didn’t understand why she was fighting it so, and I wanted to change her mind. She had to see that I had changed and was no longer the man who had to feel small around anyone ever again.

I was going to make her see that.