Alina
FLICKING THROUGH THE channels, I couldn’t settle on anything to watch, my mind going a hundred miles a minute. How was I going to start the conversation? How would I explain my reasoning? Did I even have to? Did I owe it to him after such a short time together? Would he try and dissuade me otherwise, listing my father as one of the main reasons not to break things off? Or would he divulge deeper feelings toward me and try to convince me to stay with him? So many questions, yet I had no idea what the answers were.
I flung the remote next to me in frustration, and it bounced off the cushion and onto the floor. The back piece that held the batteries in place came off and skidded across the hardwood and underneath the couch.
“Shit!” Dropping to my knees, I peered under the couch and saw it, just outside my reach. I scrambled closer, arching my back and extending my arm, my skirt riding up the backs of my thighs, my positioning contorting. My fingertips grazed the tip of the remote piece. “Come on,” I said out loud, cursing the damn thing and ready to give up.
“I have to say, I kind of like this view,” an amused voice said from behind me. A startled squeal flew from my lips as I wrenched my arm from underneath the couch, turning around only to see a pair of black and white sneakers in front of me.
When I finally got to my feet, I came face-to-face with Chris. “You scared me,” I yelped, clutching my chest, my heart still trying to recover. It was a rarity to see Chris in anything but a suit, but that night he was informally dressed. A plain white T-shirt and dark jeans made him look casual and carefree. His dark blond hair was a tad unruly yet looked as if he’d styled it that way on purpose. He really was a handsome man, too bad he wasn’t the one I wanted. My life would be so much easier if I did.
“Sorry about that.” He smiled. “Your front door was unlocked.” His gaze landed on my chest, his brow quirked up in amusement while the corner of his mouth lifted ever so slightly. He remained silent, glancing up at my eyes then back down to my breasts. Looking down, I saw two of the buttons on my white silk blouse had come undone, exposing the fullness of my breasts. Cinching the material together, I turned around and buttoned it back up, silently cursing myself because I was sure he thought I’d done that on purpose.
I’d asked Chris to stop by so we could talk, but for all he knew, especially after exposing myself to him, I was prepared to take our relationship to the next level. The funny thing was, I wanted to have sex . . . just not with him.
Turning back to face him, I gave him a shy smile, feeling better once I was covered back up. I gestured toward the couch, forgetting all about the piece of the remote.
“We need to talk,” I reminded him, motioning for him to take a seat. Once he did, I sat on the other side of the sofa, making sure there was some space between us.
“Why do I get the feeling this isn’t going to be good?” He leaned forward, only turning his head to look at me, his body tensing for the blow I was sure he was now expecting.
“It’s not. Well, I guess it could be, depending on how you feel about the situation.” My cryptic words only served to puzzle him, the pull of his expression morphing into confusion.
“What are you talking about?”
“Well, I . . . I think that maybe . . . not maybe, but definitely . . . we should . . . we need to stop seeing each other.” I released a breath only to hold an inhale of air the very next moment.
Chris angled his body toward me. “Why?”
Such a simple question, yet I had no idea how to articulate the answer. I couldn’t very well tell him I’d been messing around with Max behind his back. I felt guilty enough about it as it was, and informing Chris of that little tidbit of information wouldn’t serve to do either of us any good. After the thought formed, I knew I was protecting myself more than him, but he didn’t need to know that.
“Because this charade has gone on long enough.” When I saw he wasn’t biting, I continued. “While I like you, Chris, I don’t love you and you don’t love me. I’m sorry you got caught up in my father’s plan for us to marry, but enough is enough.” My fingers twisted the diamond he’d given me before I plucked it from my finger and extended it toward him. He took it but only because I’d practically shoved it at him.
“I don’t understand.” He shook his head, as if he was trying to find the words to convince me to take back what I just said. “I care for you, Alina.” He moved closer and grabbed my hand, his eyes pleading with me to believe him. “Deeply. And I know in time you’ll feel the same about me.”
I shook my head and wrenched my hand free. “I’m sorry, but it’s the way it has to be.” All I wanted was for him to agree, be relieved he wasn’t going to have to get married to a woman he barely knew, give me a parting hug and be on his way. But the exact opposite happened.
“I don’t think you’re thinking rationally, sweetheart.” He moved to snatch my hand back, but I stood and moved back several feet.
“I’m the only one thinking rationally.” A surge of annoyance burst forth, and while I knew it wasn’t Chris’s fault, I blamed him all the same. “We’re not going to marry, and you need to accept it. I don’t care what you or my father thinks. I’m not going to let anyone decide my future for me any longer. It’s not fair.” I was sure I sounded like a brat, but I didn’t care. My thoughts were all jumbled, and I let them escape without thinking to filter any of them. “Why did you agree to marry me anyway? Did you think you’d be able to take over the firm once the deal was done? That you would decide what cases we handled? Did you think I’d be easy to control once I became your wife?” I tried to stop myself from blurting the accusatory words but failed miserably, and the hurt look on Chris’s face made me feel terrible.
He rose from the couch and stalked toward me, a mixture of hurt and anger crossing his features. “I can’t believe you think so little of me. I’ve treated you with nothing but respect since the beginning.” He stepped closer, crowding me even though there was still some distance between us. “Have I pressured you in any way? Have I demanded you give yourself to me, complained we haven’t had sex yet, even though we’ve been together for almost two months? Have I not treated you kindly, stepping back whenever you needed time or space?” My lips parted to answer, and to apologize, but he cut me off before a single syllable erupted. “No, I haven’t. So don’t treat me like some kind of leach, grasping on to you in hopes that one day I’ll take over the fucking firm.” He clenched his fists at his sides. “I agreed to marry you so soon after dating because I care for you, as I said before, and I think we’d be perfect together. We have the same demands at work, so we can relate when the other has a bad day. It’s time for me to settle down and start a family and I would love to do that with you.” His expression softened at the mention of a family, while my face contorted in shock.
“Kids? You want kids?”
“Of course.”
It went to show I knew less about Chris than I thought, the subject of children never having come up before. I hadn’t been invested in the relationship to inquire, even after I went along with the engagement.
“Chris . . .” I opened and closed my mouth several times, not sure of what to say. He’d obviously thought about our future more than I had. “We don’t want the same things. I’m too busy with work to even considering having children.”
“You’ll change your mind. I’m sure of it.” He looked so sure of himself, and for a moment, I wished I possessed such confidence, even though I knew it was misplaced.
“I won’t.” Time to end our conversation. “It’s over. I’m sorry if I strung you along. I thought I could go through with it, but I can’t.” I looked away for fear he’d see something in my eyes I wanted to keep hidden.
“Is there someone else?” Dammit! Too late.
“No,” I lied, nervously swallowing as my guilt consumed me.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I lied again, prompting him to approach until he was so close I had to look up to see his face.
“I’m going to go now. I don’t accept we’re over, and I believe if you sleep on it, you’ll agree we belong together.” He kissed my forehead before walking from the room. I heard the front door close seconds later, and was left to wonder what went wrong.