*
“Jordan, how thoughtful of you to join me,” my father said dryly, standing as I approached his table. “And thank you so much for dressing for the occasion.”
I looked down. I was still wearing my work clothes, not having had time to shower, let alone change after my time with Chastity. To be honest, I was surprised to see my father was still at the restaurant. But then, I saw the two empty glasses and the one that was still half-full sitting in front of him and saw that he was drinking his dinner. Gin and tonic. His usual.
“I figured I’d give you until I finished my third drink, just to be sporting” he said, gesturing at the glasses in front of him, “and if you weren’t here by then, I’d find someone who actually valued my time to have dinner with instead. Like maybe the homeless guy out front.”
“Yeah, I got caught up at work,” I said with a shrug. “Sorry, pop.”
“That’s funny,” dad said, a hardening look crossing his face, “because I stopped by the site on my way over here, and imagine my surprise to find that it was empty. Not a soul around.”
“Must have just missed me then,” I said.
“Must have,” dad said, his eyes narrowing, his gaze piercing me.
Some people have told me I looked a lot like my dad. They say I’m a younger version of him. Personally, I never saw it. Except for our hair color – his was the same medium shade of brown as mine. But his had flecks of white these days. Other than the hair though, there was little resemblance between us that I saw.
Now, my brother Nate on the other hand, that I could see. They both had the same square jawline and strong chin. They both had the same deep set eyes. Or rather, Nate had had those features. When he was still alive, anyway.
The waitress came over to the table, a petite brunette. My father’s gaze never left her chest, even as the waitress – who introduced herself as Sophia – walked us through the specials.
“I’ll have the prime rib,” I said, ordering my usual. “On the rare side, please.”
“Ribeye for me,” dad said, flashing a white smile up at the waitress. “Also rare.”
Sophia walked away, but my dad still focused on the girl, watching her ass as she walked to the back to put our orders in.
“Jesus, dad, she’s like fifteen,” I said.
“She’s twenty. We’ve had plenty of time to talk while I waited for you and I learned quite a bit about her,” he said, leaning back in his seat. “And you still haven’t given me a satisfactory answer yet, son.”
“A satisfactory answer to what?”
“Where you were,” he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “And why you were over an hour late meeting me?”
I shrugged. There was no answer I could give that would satisfy him, and he was going to be pissed off no matter what. So, why bother trying? Instead, I changed the subject to something equally vexing.
“I heard back from that school I’m interested in,” I said, watching my dad closely. “I’d start next fall, take classes online after work.”
His eyebrows were furrowed, and his mouth was compressed into a tight line – standard expressions for him. As he listened to me, his face gave away nothing about his feelings. He just stared for a long time, his gaze boring into me, as if waiting for me to continue.
I didn’t, leaving him with little choice but to jump in.
“You’re still having delusions of going to college, Jordan?” he asked, shaking his head. “I thought we’d been through this already. The company needs you, and anything you can learn about construction, I can teach you myself –”
“I don’t want to work construction my entire life, Dad.”
We’d been through this before. We had this conversation at least a thousand times, and when I say conversation, what I mean is that it usually devolved into a screaming match. But, this wasn’t news to him. Nothing I told him was news. If you were to judge by the exasperated look on his face, you’d have thought this was the first time I’d brought it up.
“I want to –”
My dad’s fists slammed into the table, cutting me off and making Sophia, who was standing at the next table, squeal with fear and look over at us with wide, frightened eyes. The glasses on the table rattled as it continued to shake.
“You’re not going to work construction for the rest of your life, Jordan,” my father said. “You’re going to own the company one day. Big difference. To do it well though, you’re going to have to learn the business.”
“Sorry, but I’m not Nate,” I said, sarcasm dripping from my tongue. “I have no interest in owning the family business, Dad. I’ve told you a million times already, that’s just not me. That’s not my thing. And it’s not something I’d be any good at.”
“Nate has nothing to do with this,” my dad hissed. “Don’t you dare bring your brother up.”
“Why not?” I asked, throwing my hands in the air. “Let’s face it, if he were still alive, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation right now. You wouldn’t even be pretending to tolerate me.”
My dad took a long pull from his drink, draining his glass and then slammed it down on the table with so much force, that it sounded like a hollow explosion had gone off and other diners around the restaurant were openly gawking at us, apparently looking for a fight or bloodshed. Fucking ghouls.
This time though, when my father made a loud noise, Sophia didn’t jump, but she watched us from the safety of behind the bar. The bartender and another man were looking at us too.
“You know that’s not true –”
“Isn’t it, dad?” I said. “Because if Nate, the Golden Child, the perfect son you always wanted, was still alive, he’d take over the family business and I’d be left to do whatever I wanted.”
“You mean you would have ended up in prison,” my father scoffed. “I’m sorry I want a better life for my son. I didn’t know it was such a crime.”
“Not prison,” I growled, “College. For engineering. What I’ve wanted to do since I was a little boy. What I’ve told you about a million times already.”
My father looked at me with open hostility on his face. He opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again without saying anything. I especially took note of the fact that he didn’t even try to refute a single thing I said about Nate.
“You know what?” I hissed. “Fuck this. I don’t need this shit.”
I pushed my chair back and stood up, throwing my napkin on the table, looking at my dad and feeling nothing but disgust. Everyone in the restaurant was staring at us by that point, listening to our family’s issues as we went ahead and aired them out in public.
I’d had enough of that shit. Most parents would be proud of their kid going to college, would encourage him to excel. But, nope. Not my dad.
“You can wish for me to be Nate all you want, Dad,” I said, keeping my voice low as I leaned over the table and hovered over my dad, “but it’s not going to bring him back. I’m sorry it wasn’t me in the car instead of him. I’m sure your life would be a lot simpler and happier right now if it had been.”
My father’s chair squeaked as it moved across the floor. Like me, my dad was a tall man. Stocky build, both of us clocking in at six-three or so. But his size no longer intimidated me. Not like it had when I was a boy. I was just as big as he was, in better shape, and had a mean streak in me that my dad couldn’t hope to contend with.
My dad’s brown eyes stared back at me, a hollow look to them. He cringed, looking for all the world like I’d just slapped him. I was going for the cheap shots, of course. I was pissed. But was surprised to find that my words hurt him in ways I’d probably never understand.
“Son, I’d never – ”
I didn’t wait to hear what he had to say. I turned and walked out of the restaurant.