He didn’t like the man he saw in the mirror. A coward, afraid to face life. What happened to taking a risk? He’d thought he could, had convinced himself of it, but at the last second, he’d bailed.

Wasn’t Jessa worth it?

His words came back to haunt him. You’re worth it. He’d told her that minutes before dropping the bomb. She was worth dropping several hundred dollars for a weekend at Addy’s Bed and Breakfast just to be in Jasper Lake and spend time with her, but not worth overcoming his fears?

Their conversations since that night struck him as peculiar. They talked and laughed, exactly as they had before. They acted like … friends. He hadn’t talked to her since Christmas Day—almost a week. Okay for friends, but … She hadn’t backed away from him, only the progression of their relationship.

What did that translate to? How long could they maintain that farce?

His bloodshot eyes stared at him, daring him to take action.

“I don’t know what to do.” He slammed a fist on his dresser, taking out his frustration on the furniture.

The calendar would change to a new year in twelve hours, and Landon didn’t want to ring it in like this. He didn’t want more of the same.

He left his bedroom and grabbed his keys off the kitchen counter. Not giving it a second thought, he drove to Archer’s house. He needed brotherly advice.

The radio broke into his attention. The DJ shared statistics about New Year’s Eve, starting with the average number of marriage proposals, and ended with the percentage of people who ring in the new year with a kiss.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Was the radio out to get him? He knew that wasn’t true, and it was hardly a coincidence the announcer shared those facts since they were common to the day, but it didn’t help his brooding mood. He’d have no one to kiss at midnight because he only wanted to kiss one person and he’d blown it with her.

He pulled into Archer’s driveway, jumped out of the car, and marched to the door, knocked more frantically than the situation called for. “Archer, are you home?”

Footsteps approached quickly, and Madison opened the door. Her face registered surprise, then concern. “Are you okay, Landon?”

“I’m fine. Is my brother home?”

“Yes, he’s in the basement.” Her gaze traveled over him. “Have you been drinking?”

“You know I don’t drink.”

“Okay.” She drew the word out, while still appraising him. “Come on in and have a seat in the living room. I’ll get Archer.”

He walked inside and caught sight of himself in the foyer mirror. No wonder Madison eyed him strangely. He looked exactly as he had twenty minutes ago when he’d stared at his reflection. He’d rushed out of the house before changing out of his sweatpants and faded t-shirt, his hair pointing in every direction, and he wore no shoes.

Of all things, how did he make it there and not realize he didn’t have shoes on? Further proof that he needed help and lots of it. He ran a hand through his hair, combing it the best he could. There wasn’t much he could do about the remainder of his appearance.

Archer entered the room at a brisk walk. His face showed the same reaction as Madison’s. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know.”

“What’s going on?” Archer sat in the recliner.

“I met someone.”

Interest flared on Archer’s face, but he didn’t probe for details on the specific girl. “I can assume by your disheveled self that it’s not going so well?”

“There’s a pretty good chance I blew it before it had a chance to take off.” He leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees. “I want to fix it, but I don’t know how.”

“This girl must be special. I’ve never seen you lose sleep over a girl.”

“She is.” All his feelings for her welded together to form a lump in his throat.

“Where’d you meet her?”

 “Jasper Lake.”

Archer tilted his head to the side. “The place you took Gran? Is that when you met her?”

“I met her in the summer on a detour.” He delved into the story, telling his brother every detail from the beginning to the current situation. “What do I do?”

His brother emitted a low whoosh. “I’m surprised she didn’t smack you.”

“Gee, thanks.” He tossed a throw pillow at him. “I know I messed up, but is it hopeless?”

“Not at all, in my opinion. If it were, she wouldn’t still be talking to you.”

“But only as a friend.”

“Could you be any denser?” Archer threw the pillow back at him. “No girl is going to stay friends with you after all that when you don’t even live near each other. Except if she’s still interested.”

“You think?” Hope flared.

“Positive.”

“What’s next then?”

Archer crossed his arms. “You have to settle this issue with Mom and Dad. It’s eating you alive.”

Landon tensed. “I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“I don’t know.” He blew out a breath. “How did you do it?”

“First of all, it’s a process. Years of wrongs against us can’t be undone overnight, but you have to decide it won’t rule your life anymore.”

That made sense and resonated with him. Everyone else who had given him advice made it seem like reconciling with his parents should be instantaneous. He couldn’t see that happening. “Where do I begin?”

“Forgive them.” Archer stopped Landon’s protest with a firm stare. “It doesn’t mean you condone what they did to you. It doesn’t mean your relationship with them is automatically restored and they’re free of any consequences. It doesn’t even mean you have to place your trust in them.”

“Then what’s the point? What does forgiving them mean if not all that?” He took the pillow and wrapped his arm with it while trying to wrap his mind around what Archer said.

“It means you’re not held hostage to the bitterness their actions created in you. You’re releasing your rights back to God, Who always held them to begin with.”

Was it true? Was he a captive to his resentment? He didn’t have to ponder that for long to know the answer. “Do you ever worry you’ll leave your family like Mom and Dad did?”

Archer unfolded his arms and laid them flat on the armrests. “No. The thought crossed my mind a time or two, but I didn’t give them credence.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m my own person and make my own choices.” Pausing, Archer scooted forward. “Plus, I think Gran and Granddad’s influence helped. They’re the epitome of commitment.”

He tossed the pillow aside and stood, needing to move. “I shouldn’t struggle with this. It sounds stupid, I know, but I can’t shake this feeling I’ll turn out like Mom and Dad. I’d rather not have a family then start one and leave them.”

“It’s not stupid. Considering our childhood, it’s understandable, but the very fact you’re so concerned about it shows you’re different.” Archer rose to his feet, came to stand beside him. “But honestly, at some point, you just have to know in Whom you put your faith and trust Him to guide you through.”

“Do you really believe Mom and Dad have changed?”

“I do. Sure, I have doubts at times, but Dad and I talk often, and there’s nothing that raises a red flag for me.”

He stretched his arms over his head, relieving the pent-up tension. “You make it sound so easy.”

Archer let out a deep chortle until he started coughing. “It isn’t, trust me. I’ll think I’ve completely moved on, then the anger or hurt will flare out of nowhere. When that happens, I spend serious time in prayer. It’s the only way, brother.”

“Let’s say I decide to forgive them. How do I go about getting my girl?”

“Just like you said—you go get her. Drive to Jasper Lake, talk real sweet, apologize and beg forgiveness.” Archer tossed him a grin accompanied by a wink. “And for the love of everything, shut up when you’re about to kiss her.”

It was his turn to laugh. “Lesson learned.”

“Good.”

“Will you all miss me tonight if I skip out on our New Year’s Eve party?”

“Yes, but I believe your presence in Jasper Lake is more important.” Archer slapped his shoulder. “What should I tell the others?”

“That I’ll be home for brunch tomorrow.”

“I can’t tell them where you are?”

He shifted his feet. “Not yet. If all goes well, I’ll call you and then you can.”

“Good luck. I’ll be praying for you.” Archer checked his watch. “When are you leaving?”

“Now.”

A wide-eyed look of dismay came before Archer’s clearing of his throat. “Can I make a suggestion?”

“What?”

“Go home and shower first, put on proper clothes—and shoes.” The Reeves trademark smile came out. “If Jessa is half the person you say she is, I doubt she’d mind, but it’s a given you should never woo a girl in your pajamas. She deserves better.”

Embarrassment took root. Again, he’d forgotten he’d rushed out without changing. “I’m not usually scatterbrained.”

“Welcome to the world of love, my brother.”

***

Jessa rummaged through her closet, searching for an outfit for tonight’s party. She’d been tempted to decline the invitation, but Rachel rarely hosted events at her house, and this was a big deal for her. She needed Jessa’s support, or so she’d said when she handed Jessa the invitation and begged her to come.

At least she didn’t have to dress up. Last year, she’d attended a black-tie gala as a representative of the chamber, and she’d made the mistake of wearing shoes she hadn’t tested out beforehand. She’d gone home that night with blisters as souvenirs.

She settled on a pair of fitted jeans, a white crisscross shirt, and a shimmery black blazer to add a touch of glitz. A pair of her black heels complemented the outfit, and she finished it by adding an extra long double strand silver necklace with an oversized black oval charm. She’d made sure to dry her hair that morning so it would be manageable to style.

Her stomach growled. She’d not eaten since her early lunch. Mrs. Addy had an entire spread of food downstairs, set out for the mini celebration she’d hold tonight. Would it be rude to grab a few bites even though she wasn’t staying? The baked brie called her name.

The heels she wore slowed her going down the steps, but she wasn’t in a hurry. She had an hour before she’d leave for Rachel’s. Her phone rang, and she withdrew it from her pocket. “Hi, Phoebe.”

“Happy New Year’s Eve,” Phoebe greeted. “You’re still going to Rachel’s party, right?”

“Yes, why?”

“Could I swing by Addy’s and borrow that dress you bought in the city last year?” Phoebe laughed, not from humor, but nerves? “I found out Mac will be there too.”

“Sure.” Jessa smiled to herself. A longtime friend of the girls, Mac had no clue that Phoebe’s feelings extended to more, and her sister was too shy to outright tell him.

“I’m on my way now. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

“Let yourself in. I’m in the dining room grabbing a snack.” She scooped a pile of brie on her plate as she spoke.

“Thanks. I owe you one.”

Jessa disconnected and scanned the buffet for other snacks she could add to her plate. It all tempted her, but she didn’t want to fill up before Rachel’s. She chose a parmesan-dusted artichoke then sat down at the table. Where was everyone else? Too early still? She knew Dana Castille, one of the other boarders, planned to stay in, and two parties had reservations for tonight. Mrs. Addy had invited several friends too.

What if no one showed up and Mrs. Addy had put in all the effort for nothing? Jessa’s heart sank. She couldn’t leave her landlord alone. The lady was a grandmother figure to her. Was there a way to make both parties? She munched on her food as she debated.

Mrs. Addy walked in, carrying another tray. “Would you like a prosciutto-wrapped asparagus?”

“No thank you.” She cast a glance around the room devoid of people, save her and Mrs. Addy. “It’s quiet in here.”

“Won’t be for long.” Mrs. Addy grinned. “I set up a karaoke machine in the game room. Once everyone gets here, I’ll need earplugs.”

“What time is everyone supposed to come?”

Mrs. Addy raised her gaze to the vintage French clock hanging on the wall. “In an hour. For once, I’m ahead of schedule. I added more to this year’s menu and miscalculated how long the preparations would take. I might have to reheat a few items.”

“How many people do you expect?”

“Forty to fifty. Forty-three sent a rsvp, but you always have a few not show up, and then a handful show up who never responded either way.” Mrs. Addy laid the tray on the buffet and smiled. “That’s the joy of entertaining.”

“Oh wow, I didn’t realize you’d invited that many.” Relieved to know her landlord would ring in the New Year with plenty of company, Jessa didn’t think again about staying for the evening.

“The more, the merrier.” She leaned in close. “I also didn’t expect so many to say yes. Most people already have set plans for the evening.”

“Host it again next year, and I’ll be here.”

Mrs. Addy clucked her tongue. “I don’t think so. You belong with the young people, not us geriatrics.”

Jessa rolled her eyes. “Whatever. I enjoy spending time with you.”

The doorbell rang.

“Duty calls.” Mrs. Addy swept out of the room, leaving the scent of her rose perfume behind.

She reappeared a minute later. “You have a visitor, Jessa.”

“Phoebe? I told her to come into the kitchen when she got here.” She scooped the last of her baked brie onto a cracker and shoved it in her mouth.

“It’s not Phoebe. Go see for yourself—in the library.”

Strange. Why didn’t Mrs. Addy tell her who came instead of creating a mystery? Was it Trixie? It had to be. She changed her gait to a jog, envisioning throwing her arms around her sister and welcoming her home. What a great start to the new year.

She entered the library, expecting to see her sister.

Instead, she saw Landon. “It’s you.”

His face fell, and shoulders slumped. “Not the reaction I was going for, but I guess I deserved that.”

“No, no. I’m glad to see you. When Mrs. Addy wouldn’t tell me who was here, I thought Trixie had shown up.” She let the difference between expectation and reality set in, and she released the disappointment.

“I’m sorry.”

“No need to be.” She put a smile on her face, genuinely happy to see him. “Why are you here? I thought you had a family party tonight?”

“I skipped out on it for more pressing matters.”

“Which are?” Her heart did the funny speeding up and flipping thing it was prone to do when she was near Landon.

“You.” He strode to stand in front of her, kept his hands to his side. “I’m sorry.”

“For?”

“Devaluing you. Letting my issues with my parents come between us.” He reached for her hands.

How she’d missed his touch. “Apology accepted.”

“Can we sit?”

She nodded. Everything else could wait.

Once they sat down, he watched her with keen eyes. “I’ve been a mess, but I finally realized today that I need to move past what my parents did, or I’ll risk my own future. Even if I am predisposed to leaving, that doesn’t mean I will. I, and I alone, can decide to live above that.”

Exactly what she’d tried to tell him, but something had removed his blinders, allowing him to see the truth. “That’s wonderful.”

“When I get home tomorrow, I plan to sit down with my parents and have a long overdue conversation.” He trailed his finger in circles on the armrest. “If Paul from the Bible could change from his drastic lifestyle, then my parents can too. Even so, it’s not my place to judge them. I’ve been arrogant in my views, but my anger wouldn’t let me see.”

“You’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching.”

“Because I didn’t want to lose you.”

Torn between being flattered and concerned, she knew she had to address an issue. “I can’t be the reason you changed That has to be for your relationship with God alone.”

“It was but wanting a healthy relationship with you is what made me finally face my issues.” He left the chair, pulled her to her feet. “You quickly became my friend, but will you also be my girlfriend? I can’t promise I’ll be perfect, but I promise to work hard and always do my best to do what’s right.”

“That’s all I can ask.” She brushed an eyelash off his cheek, and he caught her hand.

Wound their fingers and pressed them against his chest. “I missed you.”

“Me too.”

His gaze dropped to her lips, then lifted to meet her eyes. When he spoke, his voice turned raw. “It’s not midnight yet.”

Her breathing hitched. She’d waited for this moment, hadn’t known if she’d get it back. “Somewhere it’s midnight.”

She only saw his eyes twinkle for a split second before his lips touched hers and she closed her eyes to savor the moment. All her hopes and dreams for the future became attainable in that earth-shattering kiss. It had been worth the wait, more so because they’d worked for it.

A clearing of a throat brought the kiss to an abrupt end. Jessa stepped back, glanced up and saw Phoebe—she’d already forgotten her sister was on her way.

Phoebe’s cheeks twitched, a telltale sign she was trying not to grin wide. “Sorry to interrupt, but do you mind if I run upstairs and get the dress?”

“Help yourself. I’ll meet you at the party.”

Landon’s mouth straightened to a thin line. “I’m interrupting plans, aren’t I? You have that party at Rachel’s tonight.”

Her lips curved upward. “This is better.”

“I agree, but I know it’s important that you’re there for her.”

“Will you come with me?” Now that she’d had the sweetness of his kiss, she couldn’t imagine midnight without him.

“If I’m welcome.”

“Of course you are. Rachel asked if you’d be there.”

“You didn’t tell her no?”

She ran a finger up his arm, convinced tears of happiness could well at any minute. “I had faith.”