Something wet slid against my ear. I brushed it away, still half asleep. It grazed my skin again and I rolled away from it. I tried to wipe it off on the pillow beneath my head, grimacing at the slimy sensation. Now I was awake and I didn't want to be.

Damn.

I opened my eyes to see a woman bending over me. Her long blond hair brushed my face. I turned my head away.

"Cut it out."

She sat up, glaring at me.

"You didn't seem to mind last night."

Normally, I would have soothed her. Called her by name. Trouble is, I had no fucking clue who the hell she was.

I looked around.

I had no idea where I was either.

"Fuck me."

She grinned at me, tossing that long bleached hair over her shoulder.

"I already did."

Belatedly I noticed that she was wearing some serious lingerie. Black and cream lace. It matched her bedroom. Her very expensive looking bedroom.

I was swimming in a sea of neutral toned sheets and blankets. Silk probably. Expensive, definitely.

"I'd like to again."

I shook my head.

"Sorry babe, I gotta go."

She pouted. I rolled out of bed, looking for my clothes.

"Oh come on... Didn't we have fun together last night?"

I smiled and nodded. It's not that she was bad looking, even if she was at least a decade older than me. It was hard to tell with these rich older broads. She was toned, buffed and polished to a high shine.

Well preserved didn't even begin to cover it.

Yeah, she was hot. Not just for a cougar. But I wasn't in the mood. I didn't usually go for seconds anyway.

Hell. I never did.

Hit it and quit it was my motto. It served me well. I didn't want any entanglements and I doubted I ever would.

I looked at her, giving my best impersonation of someone who gave a shit.

"Where are my clothes?"

She smiled back and shrugged.

"I really couldn't say."

Fucking hell.

"That's great. Just great."

I looked around the room, lifting cushions and opening drawers. Nada. On the bedside table were my keys, wallet and phone. I scooped them up, thanking God for small favors.

"Have a nice day, Ma'am."

"Wait- you aren't leaving like that!"

I coyly waved bye bye to her and left. I jogged through her palatial house in the buff. The marble floors were cool under my feet. The place screamed mega bucks. But not in a tacky way. It was tastefully done, just like the lady herself.

She was chasing me through the house, becoming less composed by the second.

"Seriously, you can't! What will the neighbors think?"

I stopped at the front door of her mansion, glancing back over my shoulder.

"You should have thought of that before you hid my shit."

She screamed in frustration and threw a vase at me. I heard it shatter against the door as I closed it behind me. Just in the nick of time.

"Damn. That would have left a mark."

I made a call as I strolled down her manicured driveway to the gate.

"Joss, can you pick me up? I need a ride."

I leaned against the wrought iron gate and waved at a neighbor who was walking their dog.

"Take your time."