Chapter Nine
Seb kicked the door shut and Jay tore off his jacket, throwing it to the floor. Before he even had time to blink, Seb lunged at him for a furious kiss, darting his tongue in to claim him. With shaking hands, Seb unfastened the top buttons on Jay’s shirt and Jay grabbed the collar to slip the clothing over his head. Seb trailed his fingertips down Jay’s torso, to cup the bulge in his jeans whilst his tongue ravaged Jay’s mouth.
Jay grabbed Seb’s hands. “Take it easy.”
Seb paused, panting, his narrowed eyes evidence that he wasn’t used to being told to stop.
“We’ve got all night.” Jay smiled, then loosened the knot on Seb’s tie and tugged it over his head, not breaking eye contact. Seb trembled, but Jay needed this to go slow, if tonight was all they had.
Jay kissed him, languidly tasting every part of him. He pulled him closer and inhaled Seb’s spicy scent, pressing his lips to Seb’s cheek, his jaw, his neck. That smell had been ingrained in Jay’s memory and, now, as he breathed Seb in, desperate desire all but consumed him. He ripped Seb’s shirt open, the buttons flying around the room, and Jay took a moment to appreciate the bare torso on display with just the plectrum hanging loosely to Seb’s sternum. The pendant swung against the scattering of dark hair, and the chain draped over the treble clef tattoo on Seb’s left side chest. Unbridled yearning rippled through Jay’s entire body and he prevented Seb from wriggling the shirt over his shoulders by pinning him up against the door and devouring his mouth.
Not giving time for Seb to catch his breath, Jay pulled away and gripped Seb’s arse to twist him around and guide him to somewhere. Enveloping darkness made it impossible to see where he was going, especially when Seb wrapped his arms around Jay’s neck and kissed him. Seb fell against a dressing table and Jay lifted him up to perch him on the edge. The glass bottles of expensive aftershave clattered against the surface and Jay opened his eyes, locking onto the sight of himself in the three-way mirror as he pressed up in between Seb’s spread legs. His heart leapt, his stomach fluttered and his dick twitched. Entwining their tongues, Jay unzipped Seb’s suit trousers and tucked his fingers into the waistband of his boxers. Seb lifted his arse and Jay dragged them down to reveal Seb’s eager erection. Jay wrapped his fingers around it, sliding up and down teasingly.
“Shit, Jay,” Seb breathed out, his warm breath trickling into Jay’s mouth.
“Let yourself go,” Jay purred. “I got you.”
Seb met his gaze, his lips parting. Jay had used those same words that Seb had said to him all those months ago on purpose, to see if Seb remembered and to prove that he still did. Increasing his heated strokes, Jay nipped Seb’s neck and sucked on the coarse skin. He wanted Seb. Real fucking bad. He wanted to taste him. Everywhere. Inhaling a fierce breath, Jay crouched and slid his mouth over Seb’s cock, gulping it down to the root. Seb gasped, and Jay sucked and swirled his tongue, lapping up the pleasure of Seb’s squirms above him. Seb threw his head back, slamming it against the mirror behind, and splayed his hands over the desk surface to scatter the products still remaining upright.
“Fucking hell!” Seb dragged his eyes open, then flicked on a lamp to illuminate the scene with hazy light.
Jay didn’t let up. He wanted to give this man everything he could. He’d only ever done this to Seb, once and so long ago, but he hoped his enthusiasm would outweigh his inexperience. Seb gripped the locks of Jay’s loose hair, attempting to control him. But Jay didn’t want it. He wanted to prove he could do this, that he could make Seb feel everything that Seb had ever done for him. He slid his hands along Seb’s legs, digging fingertips into his flesh. He sucked harder, Seb impaling his mouth deeper. He glanced up, catching sight of himself in the side mirror. Seb groaned and Jay ghosted a hand over Seb’s balls, widening Seb’s legs to rub his skin underneath, teasing, stroking, circling.
Jay lost a bit of control, keeping his eyes open and on the reflection of what he was doing. Seb’s cock poked the back of his throat, but he didn’t stop. His jaw ached and his teeth scratched surface, and, as Seb’s balls tightened, Jay awaited the inevitable with gluttonous anticipation. Lifting his hips, Seb thrust into Jay’s mouth and growled a deep and wanton moan. Then, gripping Jay’s hair tighter, he yanked him off. Jay peered up, open-mouthed and confused.
Seb’s breathing laboured. “You’ve gotten good at that and I’m unsure whether to be pleased about the fact, or go beat the shit out of the man who’s been getting you for the past eight months.”
“You’d be punching air.” Jay wrapped his hand around Seb’s rock-solid cock and stroked, sinking forward to get his mouth back over it.
Seb tugged his chin up. “I need you, Jay. I need you inside me. And if you make me lose my shit now, I won’t feel you the way I want to.”
Jay stood. That, he hadn’t expected. Not that he didn’t want it. He did. He’d thought about it so much it had become an obsession. Every night in bed and every morning when he’d woken up with his hand on his dick, all he’d imagined was what it would be like to be inside Seb. The thoughts had consumed him, to the point he now feared the very moment.
With a sharp swallow, Jay leaned forward and kissed him. Seb’s soft and passionate kisses could switch off his fear. He wrapped his arms around Seb’s back, slipping him off the desk and Seb wriggled free of his remaining clothes. Seb steered Jay over to the bed and guided him to sink into the soft, smooth sheets. He pulled Jay on top of him, his bulky body crushing him into the mattress. Jay propped up on his arms, gazed into Seb’s darkened eyes and paused. He wanted to etch the sight to memory—Seb, beneath him, hard for him, opening for him.
Jay kissed him, entwining their sweaty bodies and leaving no limb untouched. He stroked every inch of him, licking the salty residue trailing his skin. His tongue raged through the dark hair scattering his chest, along the tattoos he’d missed, and he gripped the pendant between his lips.
Seb manoeuvred himself and Jay fell between his spread legs. Jay’s painfully hard cock poked Seb’s thick balls. Jay kissed him, running his fingers through Seb’s hair, and rubbed his abs against Seb’s cock. Seb spread his legs wider in invitation, and Jay trailed his hand along his hip to rub the skin between Seb’s balls and arse. Seb was hard, everywhere, and Jay lifted up on trembling arms.
“I want you to do it, Jay.” Seb propped on his elbows and captured Jay’s lips in a tender kiss. “I have to know.”
Vulnerability seeped out of Seb’s words and filtered through Jay’s tingling skin. He’d poured all his honesty and trust into that sentence, and Jay found him impossible to resist. What did he have to know? That song… I need to know if you were the one I let go?
Nodding, Jay leaned over to pull open the drawer to the bedside cabinet. He rustled inside, finding an open pack of condoms and tube of lube. He tugged out a single foil packet and scooted up on his knees, straddling Seb. His hands trembled, making the task of opening the packet impossible. He wanted this, he did. He wanted to be inside Seb more than anything. More than inside an international football stadium, but fear had got the better of him. Again.
Wrapping his hands around Jay’s, Seb steadied him. Jay attempted to calm himself. This was Seb. This was the only man in the whole world who could make him feel the way he did right now and he so wanted this to be special. He wanted to give Seb everything, if only for one night. He just needed to stop the overwhelming fear and desire merging to cause the outward trembling.
Seb kissed him and Jay relaxed into him, allowing Seb to take over and slide the condom over his erection. He squeezed the lube onto Jay and himself and Jay watched in awe as Seb prepared himself.
“C’mon, Champ.” Seb gave a couple of greasy strokes to Jay’s condom-clad dick, sending electric jolts right through him. “Take me, I’m yours.”
Jay couldn’t prevent the shaky intake of breath. But he switched off the nerves, the way he’d learned to do over the past few months, and lifted up farther onto his knees. He cupped his dick, lining up with Seb’s hole. Anticipation and excitement rippled through him. Would it be how he’d been imagining? After a deep breath, he pushed in slowly but hesitated when he met resistance.
“Deeper,” Seb urged in his seductively low voice. He lay on the mattress and spread his legs wide, bending his knees to give Jay maximum access.
Jay thrust in, passing the ring of muscle. Jay paused to take it all in. The sight of Seb writhing on the sheet beneath him, of his dick engulfed inside Seb, and the tightness around his cock. It was more than he’d imagined. It was everything, and when Seb let out a deep groan stemming from his gut, it snapped Jay from his trance. Instinct took over and Jay rocked his hips, siding out slowly and pushing back in. He wanted to feel every single moment. Bending down as far as he could, he buried his face deep in Seb’s neck and kissed Seb’s delicate skin grating coarse stubble. He pressed his lips gently to Seb’s ear.
“Sebastian.” With the threat of tears close to escaping, Jay slammed in and out harder to curtail the emotional release. “I missed you. So. Fucking. Much.”
Seb splayed his hands either side of Jay’s cheeks and gazed deep into his eyes. “I missed you too, baby.”
Jay’s breath caught at the intimacy, and he let himself feel it. It went right through his body, to his balls, to the tip of his cock. He lifted up on his arms, thrusting harder and faster, and watched the display of emotions playing over Seb’s face. Jay let out a long wordless moan, vibrating through his chest, as he came inside the only man he knew he ever would.
Wrapping a hand around his dick, a couple of tugs had Seb coming, shaking as he did so. Jay’s arms finally gave in and he fell into Seb’s embrace, the pendant necklace the only thing between them. He collapsed, thrusting his dick inside Seb and letting the euphoria ripple through his veins to burst his mind. He shook, Seb digging his fingertips into his back and Jay lay there, wishing he could stay inside this man forever.
But nature took over, and Jay scooted to Seb’s side. He kissed his cheek before pulling off the condom and discarding it on the floor. No words spoken, Jay held Seb and they breathed into each other’s necks, until the need for fresher air got to them both.
Seb kissed Jay and jumped up from the bed. He ran out of the room and Jay watched, captivated, as Seb jogged back in with a grin so wide Jay couldn’t help but laugh. A few clicks of a remote and soft music tinkled out from the surround speakers. He climbed onto the bed, draping the covers over them both, and Jay wrapped himself around Seb, content to never let him leave again.
Jay ran a hand over Seb’s stomach and leaned back. Seb had filled out. There were curves of muscles along his usually slender torso and Jay traced them with his fingers, propping up on his elbow to study the new body next to him.
“You’ve been busy.” Jay ghosted the tough outline of abdominal muscles.
Seb smiled. “Boxing training at NYU.” He raised his belly as Jay stroked him, like a dog wanting to be scratched. “You like it?”
“Yeah, I like it.” Jay drifted his hand over the taut muscles. “But I liked it before.” He trailed his hand over Seb’s chest, along his neck, and rested it on his cheek as he leaned forward and kissed him on the lips, rubbing his thumb over the coarse stubble. Flattening a palm over Seb’s forehead, he rubbed the tip of his nose to Seb’s. “It’s what you got goin’ on in here that keeps me interested, though.”
Seb’s breath caught and Jay revelled in the second time he’d rendered the man speechless. He took hold of Seb’s hand and interlinked their fingers, dragging it up to kiss Seb’s knuckles. It was then he noticed the new tattoo on the underside of Seb’s wrist. He twisted it around to reveal the delicate skin now coated with a Chinese symbol.
“This is new.”
“I know, I know. Jump on the bandwagon. But I swear it’s legit. I had Martin write it out before I had it done.”
“What does it say?”
Seb breathed in. “It’s the number nine.”
Jay narrowed his eyes. “That got some meaning in Chinese?”
“Yes.” Seb wriggled. “But I only knew that after I had it done and Martin emailed me the true meaning. Turns out it’s pretty, fucking, accurately, perfect.”
“Why nine, then?”
Seb bit his bottom lip. “If you tell me they changed your shirt number, I’m going to have to flip my shit as I’m not sure this can be adapted to another number.”
“You knew?”
“Well, Rutters, I do think I’m your number one fan.”
Jay breathed through a smile, holding Seb’s gaze. Then, forgetting the soreness of his lips, he kissed Seb and wrapped his arms around him, not able to let the man move.
* * * *
The early morning sunlight beamed in through the open blinds of Seb’s room and he cursed under his breath for having forgotten to close them last night. He squinted and buried his face into the pillow as a grin crept onto his lips. His body ached, but it was in the good way he remembered, and he hummed a deep sound that emanated from the pit of his stomach. He felt happy, content. Something he hadn’t ever been in this damn city before. Memories flickered through his mind, but they weren’t the unreachable and distant recollections that they had been on each and every other wake up from this bed. They were vivid, strong and he could still taste them on his tongue.
Rolling onto his back, the duvet crumpled around his body and he reached out to touch the reason for his early morning zeal. His fingers brushed cool, smooth sheets. He opened his eye to a vacant bed. Lifting up on his elbows, he glanced around the room.
“Jay?”
No answer. Seb ripped the duvet off and stepped out of the bed. Scanning the room, he could only see his own clothes lay in the crumpled heap where they had fallen the night before. He pulled on his boxers and yanked open the bedroom door, stepping into the main apartment.
“Jay?” he called again, louder this time, scratching his head. He walked through, stopping at the leather corner couch separating the living space from the kitchen.
Stephen sat on his sofa, one ankle resting over the opposite knee, and flicked through a paper file. ”If you’re looking for a certain young blond, I am afraid to have to inform you that he left.”