Chapter Nine
Logan
We didn’t end up staying at the campfires for too long that night. There was a lot of hockey talk, and even though Toby got over his initial reaction it was still a little awkward between him and me, and, honestly, I was feeling kind of—drained, I guess? I was glad I’d had a chance for the big talk with Dawn, but it had dragged up a lot of the emotional stuff I’d been trying to keep submerged.
She seemed pretty understanding about it all, though, and after maybe twenty minutes, just long enough for her friends to give her the highlights of their trip, she tugged gently on my hand and said, “You want to go for a walk?”
Hell, yeah, I did. We kicked off our sandals and walked down to where the waves hit the sand and we walked along the dark beach with the water cooling our feet.
“No sharks,” I said, and she looked up at me like I was an alien. “No jellyfish. None of those super-poisonous snakes. Is there anything in a Great Lake that can kill you?”
“The water, I guess. People drown. But animals? I don’t think so. The most dangerous thing I can think of is zebra mussels—their shells are kinda sharp, so you don’t want to step on them.”
“But if you did, you wouldn’t die?”
“No. Is there a reason you’re asking about all this?”
“I was just thinking about how much I like it here. We moved around a fair bit growing up, and I’ve lived by the ocean before, Atlantic and Pacific. But never by a Great Lake. I think I like the lake better.”
“It’s nice to see a young person being so safety conscious,” she warbled in what I was pretty sure was meant to be little-old-lady voice.
“I don’t think it’s the safety that’s the biggest draw, though.”
“No?” She was back to her regular voice. “So why do you like it here?”
“The company,” I said in my smoothest voice.
And she laughed. Like, laughed, not a cute little, flirtatious giggle, but a full-on laugh. “Oooh, you sweet-talker,” she said when she’d mostly recovered, and then she laughed some more.
“Hey,” I said, but I was laughing, too. “You’re a bit hard on my ego, you know. I was proud of that line.”
“Oh yeah,” she said, acting as if she was trying to stop laughing. “It was really—very good,” she managed before laughing again.
“I do like the company. I mean, not so much right at this second, but in general it is the reason I like this beach. So—” So, what? “So just take the compliment, will you?”
“Sorry,” she said, not sounding even a little bit apologetic. “I like the company, too. Even when he’s trying out cheesy lines.”
Well, that was something.
We walked a little farther, down past the rocks that had been our shield for coming out of the water after skinny-dipping, and when I slowed down and then stopped altogether, Dawn matched me.
It felt just as good to kiss her then as it had the other times. Better, maybe even, because I felt like she knew the real me, now, the me with scars from the past and no plans for the future, and she still liked me. There were no more secrets, no more topics to dodge or gloss over. There on the beach with Dawn, I felt totally content for the first time in way too long.
We both had to work pretty early the next morning so we didn’t stay out all that late, but even after I dropped her off at home I stayed happy on my way back to the camp. Things were coming together. I’d met a girl, and hockey was—well, it was still a painful memory, but I’d made it through the encounter with the drafted players without totally falling apart. It was good. Everything was good.
…
Dawn
It sucked to have to walk away from Logan and step right into one of my parents’ fights in the living room. If I’d heard them yelling when I was outside I would have ducked around and snuck in the back door or, more likely, stayed out in the yard until they seemed to be done, but I guess there was some sort of lull in the battle at exactly the wrong time, so I strolled into the mess with no warning whatsoever.
I was shuffling the sand off my sandals when I heard my dad say, “I’m completely done with your shit. I’m done with all of this.” And for a moment, I thought he was talking to me and my stomach tightened as I tried to figure out what sin I’d committed.
But then my mom said, “You’re done? Oh, please. You think this is the dream I had for myself? Working my fingers to the bone every damn day at a job I hate just to make enough money to barely survive? Because my precious husband spends more on drinking and stupid toys than he earns, and I’m supposed to make up the difference!”
“Oh, listen to yourself and see if you still wonder why I need to drink!”
I don’t think I made a noise, but maybe I did, because they both turned to look at me in unison, and I could tell they hadn’t known I was there. An awkward pause while they reassessed the situation and then my mom said, “Where’ve you been? Are you working tomorrow?”
“I was at the beach. And, yeah, I’m working at nine.”
“Well, go to bed, then.” And she turned away, gave my dad a disgusted glare, and stalked out of the room toward the kitchen.
My dad didn’t seem to have anything to add, so I headed down to my bedroom and tried not to let the stupidity of their fight get in the way of the warm glow I was still feeling from having spent time with Logan.
I didn’t quite manage it, though.
It wasn’t like the fight had been that bad—there’d been a few times in the past when I’d hid in my room and given serious thought to calling the cops to come break things up before they got physical. This hadn’t been one of those.
It was just hard to listen to them being so clearly unhappy with their lives. I mean, I loved my parents even though they were, as Scott said, assholes a lot of the time, so I wanted them to be happy.
But right then, I admit, I was being a bit more selfish. I wanted me to be happy. I wondered what my mom’s dreams had been when she was my age—I bet she’d had something more in mind than being a receptionist and fighting to scrape up enough cash to get by. It was still insulting that she thought I couldn’t manage to find anything better on my own, but I at least appreciated that she did want something better for me. Me hooking up with an NHL star was, in her mind, my chance to get the hell away from a life like hers.
She wanted the best for me; she just didn’t share my opinions about what “the best” actually was.
I dug my phone out from my beach bag and flopped down on my bed, then opened up a chat with the group I’d labelled “Sisters.” Karen and Claudia had started the Sisterhood of Awesomeness earlier in the year, and it was dedicated to helping its members seize the day and live their lives to the fullest. Oliver and Chris were our only male sisters, but we’d also dragged in some of Karen’s family and Nat and a few other people who’d seemed like they needed a little—a little something extra.
I texted I need to be more awesome. Give me a challenge.
And almost immediately the responses came in, so fast I was barely keeping track of who was saying what.
Yay! We should have a meeting!
What kind of challenge? Let’s all remember that you’re already super-awesome…
Cool! Logan’s hot, btw!
Definitely meeting time. What’s everyone doing tomorrow night?
Let’s talk about Logan some more—his shoulders? My favorite kind of shoulders.
Wait, who’s Logan?
Tomorrow’s good for me—where?
I didn’t think Logan was all that hot. —this from Chris, of course, followed up with I prefer blonds.
Claudia, his girlfriend, responded with Blonds are nice, too, sweetie.
And it all continued from there. I let myself relax back into my pillows. I was doing something. Taking action. Even if the action had only been texting my friends, it was something. And I’d follow up on whatever challenge they came up with and it would make my summer a bit more awesome. Then at the end of August, I’d be gone. Away from Corrigan Falls, away from my parents, away from hockey.
I’d be free.
And, not that I’d admit it out loud, it hadn’t escaped my notice that Logan had ties to Montreal. If he happened to be part of my post-Corrigan Falls, post-parent, post-hockey life? Well, that would be pretty awesome, wouldn’t it?