Chapter Thirty-One
Ella was tucked into a Lyft and on her way to Boyd’s house when she got the text that he needed to see her right away. At first, she thought something was wrong. She’d bumped into him a couple of times around town in the last few weeks and while they were back to “pleasantries,” as her mother would say, Ella certainly wasn’t his go-to person in an emergency. She gave her driver the new address and tried to quiet her enthusiastic heart.
The Tap House was dark as she walked up. Closed at 9:00 p.m. on a Wednesday? She stepped across the threshold and called out. Nothing. She checked her phone to confirm he’d said The Tap House and then what sounded like a shuffle of feet cut through the space. Before she had a chance to panic, a string of lights illuminated the darkness and Boyd walked in from the shadows. It seemed like he was moving through stars. Her breath caught and she wondered how long it would take before the sight of him dulled, before her heart learned its place again.
“You know when you ask people how they are and they say they’re fine?”
Ella nodded.
“I think when Mason was born and Claire bailed, I loved him so much that nothing else mattered. If he was healthy and had what he needed, I was fine.”
“That makes sense. I understand. Please don’t—”
“Cade says fine is like barely living.”
“He says a lot of things. If you’re happy being fine then—”
“I’m not.”
She met his eyes, and Boyd hesitated as if he had lost his place.
“I don’t want to be fine anymore.” He stepped closer and she forgot everything she’d planned on saying.
“I’m not sure if it happened the minute I met you, or when you became Mason’s friend, no questions asked. I have no idea when it all happened but my heart.” He swallowed. “It’s never going to be the same if I can’t fix this. I love you.”
He was inches from her face now. She closed her eyes because the tenderness in his eyes was too much. She wasn’t going to be able to say a word, make things right, if he kept looking at her that way.
“I’m absolutely out of control here, Ella. Mason has a busted nose and suddenly seems smarter than I am. Claire emailed me asking what I thought if she adopted a ‘little baby’ now that our kid is getting older. Nothing makes sense anymore.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. In fact, stop saying I’m sorry altogether.” He took her face. “I’m in love with you. I was in love with you when you first told me, but I’m not as brave as you are. You’re brilliant and gorgeous. You’re everything I never imagined walking into my life and now… Now I find that you are the calm in my storm.”
“Boyd.” Her eyes welled.
“Now, if you’ve decided that you can’t handle all my baggage, I get that, but I’m still going to try to convince you I’m worth a chance because here’s the thing: I can’t find my way back to fine. I need you more than I have ever needed anything in my life. You want all in, you want to be my one person. You are.”
“I know. I wanted to tell you that…”
Boyd dropped to one knee. “It is never going to be better than you, Ella. It never has been and it never will be. You are my one shot at more than fine and I’m going all in.” He opened the small velvet box.
“Dad?”
Boyd’s knee was killing him as he turned to find his son at the front door.
“Mason, go away. I’m busy. Wait, what are you doing here?”
“Are you down on one knee? What the hell? Do people even still do that? Aren’t you supposed to make some grand gesture? Like adventure proposal or a flash mob?”
Boyd stood. The floor was hard and the moment was now ruined. Mason walked toward them.
“Let’s try that again, why are you here?” he asked, sticking the ring box back in the pocket of his jeans.
“Uncle Trick had some ‘work flair, work flow’ he had to do. He was pissed. I… mean he was perturbed.”
Ella laughed.
“So, I told him to drop me off here so I could try to beat Aspen’s high score in Galaga before I was supposed to be home.”
“We’re closed.” He gestured to the emptiness. “The whole place is closed early so I could… I mean I wanted this to be. You thought you’d pop by a bar alone, at night?”
“I’ve got a key.”
“Wow, not the point. Okay, well I’m trying to do something here, so wait in the truck.”
“No Galaga? It’s in the back and I’ll be out of your way. Can’t I play a few rounds while you try to get Ella to marry you with your old-school knee thing?”
“You are so over the line that I might have to ground you forever. Maybe you should join Sistine’s book club, because that will be your social life in high school.”
“Is that a no on the Galaga?”
Boyd turned to Ella as if to say, “Are you seeing this?” She had wiped away any tears and now couldn’t stop smiling. It was so good to see that smile. He wanted to give her everything, starting with a ring, damn it.
“Can I play Galaga, Ella?”
“Why are you asking her?”
“She’s nicer and the way she’s looking at you, I’m guessing she’s going to say yes.”
“How do you know?” Boyd hoped like hell his son was right.
“I told you like forever ago. She broke eye contact. She likes you, probably loves you by now and besides, girls go for clumsy and nervous, remember? You’re in, Dad. She digs your weirdness.”
Boyd closed his eyes. “Two rounds, that’s it.”
“Then can we get pizza on the way home?”
“Oh, yeah. I’m starving,” Ella said.
Mason beamed and the impossible happened: Boyd loved her more.
“Finish strong, Dad. She’s the best.”
Boyd turned to her as Mason disappeared around the corner. Pulling the ring from his pocket, he gave up on the steps. Life wasn’t a series of do this and you’ll get that. He should know that by now. He wanted to marry her and he needed to ask her his way.
Letting out a slow breath, he opened the ring box and all but leaped into her beautiful eyes. “I love you. Please share my life, our life.”
She smiled, slow and gorgeous. “I’ve missed you.”
“Is that a yes?”
“Give me a minute. I want this to last as long as possible.”
“Great. Well, at least if I have a heart attack you’ll know what to do.”
She laughed and then grew serious. Touching the sides of his face, she gently kissed him. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Was she going to look at the ring? Maybe this was a bad sign. Enough with the signs, he thought and instead focused on what he knew. She loved him and he was open and letting her in.
“I was on my way over to your house when I got your text.”
“Why?”
“I needed to tell you something.”
Recoiling was dramatic—he didn’t truly recoil, but it was something close to that. He had a ring, she’d seen the ring, but before all of that she needed to tell him something? Yeah, he felt a heart attack coming on.
Ella wrapped her arms around him. “I don’t need you to be one hundred percent all the time. That’s not what I meant.”
“Okay.”
“Sometimes it can’t be that way. We need to ebb and flow. Keep things loose and flexible. I get that now. I think that was most of it.”
He tried desperately to order his thoughts. What the hell was she saying? Ebb and flow? Christ, had she been talking to Cade?
“Ella, I just got up off my knees. I have a tiny box in my hand. I’m not looking to ebb and flow with you. I want to marry you. One hundred percent, all in. That’s what you said you needed and I’m here… giving it to you. Don’t go all Zen on me now.”
She laughed and then she started to cry. He wiped away her tears and practically drowned in her smile. Her face glowed under the soft string of lights. God, it was a miracle he’d lasted this long without her. No way in hell he was ebbing and flowing ever again.
He opened the box and her eyes went to the ring.
Patrick had helped him pick it out. It was a square stone set low into a platinum band. Simple and perfect, his brother had agreed as they stood there getting all choked up. At first the jeweler had shown them larger solitaries, but Boyd knew she would not want over the top and he wanted a ring she could wear at work. The ring had become more important than he imagined. He wanted her to carry the memory of him asking for her heart every day, even when their lives returned to the normal rhythm.
“It’s incredible,” she whispered as if there wasn’t enough air in her lungs.
“Ella.” He lifted her chin. “Marry me.”
She nodded. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For everything. For sharing your son with me. For loving me.”
“Oh, it’s my pleasure, Doc.” He kissed her.
“That’s right, cry home to mama, you slimy bastards,” Mason roared from the back room.
Ella smiled, her lips still on his, and she eased back to laugh. Boyd should have told his son to watch his mouth like he had at least a hundred times before, but he’d let this one slide. He knew there would be endless family moments ahead and he wanted a little more time. A few more beats before pizza, twenty questions, and discussions about which jeans were cooler for high school. He wanted to be a guy who had asked a beautiful and smart-as-hell woman to marry him, and she’d said yes. He pulled her in closer, kissed her deeper, and knew the rest of his life was going to be so much more than fine.