We spend the ride home in near total silence and yet, somehow, I miss exactly how we made it home at all. One moment, the streets were unfamiliar and wild and the next turn, we were back in Ohio. Perhaps I should have been more grateful for the opportunity. Tonight was the first time I’ve ever been out of state, let alone the damn continent.

Ari never did answer my question. His refusal lingers in the back of my mind like an ominous cloud. He wants something from me, something more than my body. What else do I have that’s any value to a man like him?

The car comes to a stop in my driveway and Ari immediately opens his door. I don’t dawdle, quickly sliding over to follow him out. He closes the door behind me and we walk side-by-side up to my front porch.

Ari looks at his watch and smiles. “Nine fifty-five,” he reads aloud. “Home at a decent hour, as promised.”

I nod, looking down. “I’m sure my parents will appreciate that.”

“I’ll return tomorrow,” he says. “Enjoy the rest of your evening, Tannis.”

“I’ll try,” I say.

I reach for the knob but he takes it first. I flinch, startled by the sudden movement as his smile curls for the first time since the restaurant.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” he asks.

I lower my hand. “What?”

His brow piques. “You agreed to a kiss after each date.”

My breath catches. “Oh, right...”

I lock my knees and tilt slightly to face him. I stand in place and close my eyes, teetering on the edge of nerves as I wait for him to get it over with.

Ari chuckles. “Tannis.”

I open my eyes. “Go ahead.”

“The deal was for you to kiss me,” he says, his voice low and playful.

My heart pounds. I’ve never kissed a boy before. I always thought he’d make that move first, whoever my first kiss would be.

What do I do? Where do I put my hands? How does the tongue thing work?

Ari takes a step closer and I tense up. “Relax,” he whispers. “Wet your lips. Part them slightly.”

Oh, god. He knows.

He knows I have no friggin’ clue what I’m doing.

I do as he says, gently rolling my tongue between my lips.

“You’ll have to get a little closer than this,” he says, that playful tone teasing out.

My ankles jitter as I slide my sandals forward, tapping toes with his shiny, black shoes. He towers over me by at least another head and he tilts down to bring his lips closer.

“You can keep your eyes open if you like,” he says. “Until you’re used to it.”

If I weren’t so damn nervous, I’d be more annoyed by that comment. As if I’d do this more than the three times I’m required to.

I take one more deep breath as I tilt my head a little. That’s what people do, right? Tilt their head to the side to keep the noses from bonking?

“Tannis,” Ari says, “kiss me.”

I push onto my toes to bridge the rest of the gap between us. My entire body shakes, each second feeling longer than the last.

Finally, our mouths touch. My eyes snap tightly closed as I linger in place against his cold lips. Instinct takes hold of me and my lips purse, gently caressing his and sparking a warm bolt of lightning through my tongue. The feeling stays with me like a wisp of smoke traveling down my throat and wrapping around my heart like a warm ribbon.

I ease back to break the kiss. “What is that?” I ask, fear entering my voice.

“Shh,” is all Ari says as his palms cup my face and he kisses me back.

My pulse quickens even more as his icy touch thaws against my burning hot skin. I part my lips, seduced a little deeper, and he slowly coaxes them to move with this.

But still, fear settles in my gut. My lungs lurch for air. My eyes burn with tears. That warm ribbon grips my heart tighter and tighter but I’m far too powerless in his hands.

Somehow, I pull away from his grip. My back slams into the door and I put my hand to my mouth, either to keep him from it or to keep me from kissing him back — I can’t be sure.

Ari swallows hard, his dark eyes wild with shadows. “Tannis...”

“What did you do?” I ask, my voice breaking.

“Nothing.”

I clutch my chest as that ribbon slithers deep into my core. “Bullshit.”

He reaches for me. “Tannis—”

“Stay away from me.”

I shove at the front door and bolt inside, not even hesitating to kick it closed behind me. It’s only when I hear the latch do I realize the gravity of what I just did.

I slammed the door on a god.

Ah, shit.

“Honey?”

I look up, realizing that I’m still hunched over, gripping my chest. My mother stands in the foyer between me and the kitchen, her eyes heavy with concern.

“Are you all right?” she asks.

I stand up taller, feeling normal again. “I’m fine,” I say quickly.

She eyes the front door. “Where’s Ari?”

“He’s, um...” I press my tingling lips together. “He’s gone. Said he’d come back tomorrow.”

“Oh.” She nods. “All right, then.” She smiles. “Did you have fun? Where’d you go?”

“Just...” I swallow the words. Would she even believe me? “Out to dinner. Some new place downtown.”

She eagerly bounces her shoulders. “Well? What’d you talk about?”

“Actually, Mom...” I push off the door. “Can we talk about this later? I’m not feeling very well.”

“Been a big day, I suppose,” she says.

“Yeah.”

She steps forward and pushes my hair back behind my ear. “Go get some rest, honey,” she says. “We’ll be here when you’re ready.”

I nod, feeling those burning tears return but I don’t dare let them fall. “Uh huh.”

I rush up the stairs, charging as quickly as possible toward my room.

What the hell just happened to me? I felt something flowing from him into me — and it wasn’t just the thrill of a girl’s first kiss.

I lock my door behind me and put my back against it to catch my breath.

I feel him. Some deep, primal essence taking hold of me, crawling beneath my skin.

And I let it happen. I gave my lips to a god; a god who wants to claim me as his own.

And I’m not even sure I won’t do it again.