~ Chapter Seventeen ~
Michelle
“Oh my God!” I pressed my hand to my chest, inhaling deeply as I watched the images on the flatscreen television that hung in the corner of our office lobby. Usually, Nancy had us playing office music from the television to promote a warm, friendly work atmosphere, but when Natoi ran in my office and told me to turn on the news, we switched channels. Now, I was staring as the love of my life dangled, a horrifying thirty stories in the air. And he wasn’t alone. Apparently, there’d been a fire at Townsend Industries and his squad had been called in to rescue a trapped employee. A mix of emotions swirled in my belly as the news reporter continued to give her blow-by-blow report of the scene.
“That’s your Carter, right?” Natoi questioned. I began looking around, noticing a few of the other employees were coming out to watch what was happening.
“Sh!” I shushed Natio, not wanting my personal business spreading around the office. Not only was I just not into gossiping at work, but I didn’t want my relationship being made public to anyone, for personal reasons. Instead of answering Natoi’s questioning look, I turned back to the screen, sighing in relief as Carter was lowered onto the ladder of a firetruck. I watched silently, heart still beating out of control, as another firefighter helped Carter carry a man down the ladder onto the roof of the truck. Not until I saw him make it safely with two feet on the ground did I release a full breath.
“You better go call your ma–” I didn’t let Natoi finish her sentence before I was pulling her by the arm into my office.
“Girl! What is wrong with you?” I hissed, shutting my door behind us.
“What?” she questioned with an eyebrow raised.
“Stop telling all my business in this office. I don’t need everyone knowing who I date.”
Her full lips twisted into a pout. “Oh, well that’s all you had to say.”
“Yeah.” I gave her a look, partially regretting opening up to her about Carter. But hell, she had noticed something was different about me. I had felt lighter over the last few months, more energized. Just happier in general, and it was all due to him. The light and sense of security he brought not just to my world, but also to my son’s. But still, thinking about that twisted my gut. Carter and Diego had grown so close, so quickly. He called every night right before Diego went to bed just to tell him to have a goodnight, or to read to him over the phone. It didn’t matter if he was at the station either. He’d read to my little boy right in front of his squad members. I could just imagine the look he gave them, daring them to comment on what he was doing. That thought made a smile appear on my face.
“Oh my goodness! Girl, if he’s got you looking like that from just thinking about him, I don’t know how you keep yourself from telling the world about him!” Natoi laughed.
Easy, a vindictive baby daddy, I thought, silently responding to her comment. I wanted nothing more than to tell my world about Carter, but … well, certain circumstances prevented that.
“It is what it is,” I stated out loud and shrugged. I circled my desk to get my cell phone. “Can you grab the Jacobs invite list? We need to go over it one final time for this Friday’s event.”
Natoi smoothed down the edges of her button down top and moved toward the door. “Sure thing. And next week is the Williams & Brodsky affair. I’m sure you’re glad that’s almost over.”
I rolled my eyes. She had no idea how happy I’d be once that event was over with.
“That Gabriel Garcia sure calls a lot. Making special requests here and there. I think he has a crush on you,” she sing-songed.
My stomach plummeted. Gabriel had taken to calling the office more after I stopped answering my cell phone for his calls. Natoi was unaware of my history with Gabriel and I intended to keep it that way.
Instead of answering her directly, I waved a hand in the air, saying, “Getting that event completed will feel like a load off.” Especially since I was also in the beginning stages of planning the Williamsport Fire Department Annual Picnic. I’d spoken to Nancy about the idea after Don approached me about it at Charlie’s that night. Nancy made a few calls to the department and now the huge job was up to Save the Date Event Planners to get it done right.
“I bet it will,” Natoi stated as she exited my office door.
I gave her a small nod of my head, my eyes turned down at the screen of my phone in my hand. Unfortunately, before I could press Carter’s name to dial his cell number, my phone rang. I crinkled my forehead when I saw who the call was from.
“Mom? Everything okay?” My eyes flew to my computer screen checking for the time. It was just after three o’clock. A time when my mother should’ve been picking Diego up from school. My heartbeat began skyrocketing again, fearing she was going to tell me she’d gotten caught up at work or had an accident and couldn’t get to Diego on time. I began running through my mental rolodex for parents of Diego’s friends who wouldn’t mind watching him until I could get off work.
“Diego’s gone!”
I nearly dropped the phone. My knees went slack and I had to hold onto the edge of my desk just to remain on my feet. My mouth had gone bone dry and I struggled to get out. “Wh-what do you m-mean gone?”
“I’m sorry. I mean, his teacher said his father picked him up early from school?”
“What?” As soon as I got that shriek out, my phone clicked, alerting me of another call. I didn’t want to but I pulled the phone from my ear and my belly did another flip flop when I saw who was calling.
“Mama, I have to get this,” I told her. Not even waiting for her response, I clicked over. “Gabriel, do you have Diego?” I questioned in a panic.
“Good afternoon, Michelle. How’re you doing?” His greeting sent a chill down my spine. His casual tone told me he was teasing me.
“Gabriel, is Diego with you? Just let me speak to him, please?” I begged.
“Why, mi vida? Do you think I would harm my own son?”
No. But he’d definitely do whatever he could to harm me.
“Diego, come. Your mama wishes to speak with you.”
“Hi, Mama? Is Grandma coming to get me today?”
My eyes slowly closed and I quickly swiped at a tear that managed to slip out. Diego sounded so innocent, completely unaware of whatever game his father was playing.
“N-not today, baby. Mama will come get you.” I’d already began gathering my keys and purse. “Are you at daddy’s office?”
“I don’t know,” he answered.
I could picture him looking around and shrugging his little shoulders as he said it.
“Can you put your daddy back on the phone?”
“‘K, bye, Mama.”
“See, I told you he was fine.”
“You didn’t tell me anything,” I growled into the phone, my fear quickly replaced by anger. “Why did you pick him up from school? Why didn’t you call me? Are you at your office?”
“I need a reason to see my son?”
I sighed. If I could crawl through the phone and throttle him I swear I would’ve. If thoughts alone could kill, Gabriel would’ve already been cold to the touch, and buried six feet under.
“How about I tell you all about my reasons when you arrive at my office. I’ll tell my assistant to be expecting you. I’m sure you remember the location.” And with that, the opposite end of the phone went dead. He’d hung up.
Within seconds, I was out of my office and pushing past Natio’s desk in a hurry. “I have to go. There’s, uh, been an incident at Diego’s school,” I lied. “Please tell Nancy.”
“Of course,” Natoi replied, a concerned expression on her face.
I didn’t slow down as I breezed out the glass door and punched the down elevator with my knuckles. The fear, anxiety, and anger pushed me forward. I didn’t see anything in front of me. Not on the elevator ride down, not as I retrieved my car in the building’s elevator, and not as I drove the twenty-five minutes to get from one part of downtown Williamsport to the other end to arrive at Williams & Brodsky. I didn’t even think twice of parking in a red zone and hopping out of my car to run inside the building. I grew even angrier when I had to stop at the front receptionist desk to show my I.D., and the security guard had to call up to Gabriel’s office to grant me permission upstairs. I’m sure he was having a fucking field day just thinking of how he was able to so easily manipulate my emotions.
I’m sure it took only a few minutes to get from the lobby to Gabriel’s floor, but it felt like forever.
“Ms. Clarke, Mr. Garcia is in his office. Right this way,” a woman I didn’t recognize but was apparently Gabriel’s secretary instructed me as I entered the door. She led me down the long hallway and knocked on the door of the corner office, that had Gabriel’s name on it.
“Come in.”
His voice alone had my anger flaring again. I entered behind the woman to see Gabriel sitting, smiling proudly behind his desk, perched directly in front of his huge floor-to-ceiling windows. My eyes breezed past him, looking about the office until I reached the leather couch off to the right where Diego sat, playing one of his handheld video games, headphones in his ears.
“Diego!” I shrilled, moving past the secretary to get to my son.
“Hi, Mama.” He smiled his toothless grin.
“Thank you, Rebecca. Ms. Clarke and I need to discuss her case now. Close the door behind you,” he stated rather dismissively.
My eyes were on Diego, quietly inspecting him, when I heard the door close. When I assured myself that he was unharmed, I rose. “Continue playing your game, sweetheart, while your … father and I talk.” I patted Diego as he shrugged and turned his gaze back to the game.
I pivoted and moved closer to Gabriel’s desk. “What was this about?” I whispered, looking to Diego out of the corner of my eye. I cut my eyes back to a smirking Gabriel.
“You don’t know?”
I sighed and rubbed my forehead with my fingers, trying my best to ease the tension that was developing there. Gabriel loved playing games. Enjoyed the pleasure he got from stringing people along. I’d known him for all of my adult life, and he’d always been this way. I was just too young and dumb to realize it back then. Before I brought an innocent life into all of this.
“I enjoy reading the newspaper each morning. You know, most of these millennials,” he scoffed, “they get their news from news feeds on their phones. Not me, I still embrace the feel of an actual newspaper between my fingers as I turn the pages. I guess I’m still old school.” He shrugged.
I rolled my eyes, sighing, but remained silent. Gabriel wouldn’t be rushed to get to the point. And my insisting that he would, would only prolong him.
“Each morning I come in the office early just to read the paper alone before I start my day. Most of the time I skip the sports pages. It’s a lot of gossip these days that I don’t care to read about. But today …” he paused, his dark brown eyes pinning me, “today, I decided to take a look. Imagine my surprise when I turned to read about the Williamsport Panthers and their training camp’s Family Day to find a picture of my very own son’s mother, smiling with one of Tyler Townsend’s brothers as he played catch with my son!” The last part of his statement was spat out viciously, as he stood abruptly from his chair.
Unconsciously, I took a step back when he tossed the very paper he was talking about in my direction. I didn’t move to pick it up from the edge of his desk. I didn’t need to pick it up to see the picture he referenced. Large as day was an image snapped by one of the photographers that had been on the field that day. Tyler’s in the background tossing a soft nerf ball to Diego who sat high on Carter’s shoulders. The three are smiling and laughing as I stand a few feet from Carter, clapping as I watch him. I can see the joy in my own eyes and in that instant I know that’s what has Gabriel pissed off the most. How dare I find happiness with someone else?
The caption underneath the picture says it all. It describes me as Carter’s girlfriend but doesn’t give my or Diego’s name. Of course, Gabriel doesn’t need to see our names in black and white, the image being enough.
My gaze slowly rises to a now fuming Gabriel as if he’s been waiting for me to say something.
“Don’t look at him!” he demands when I glance over at Diego. “I told you what would happen? Told you what I would do? Did I not?” he seethes.
My stomach twists in knots. “Gabriel, it’s not what it looks like,” I lied, trying for anything.
“You think I’m a fucking idiot?”
I thanked God again for the headphones Diego was wearing.
“I told you I would take him if you dated anyone. Not only have you defied me, but you brought my son into it. He’s sitting on his fucking shoulders like he belongs to him!” He pointed angrily at the picture again.
“I’m not a possession you can force to do what you want! I–”
“You what? I should’ve known you were a whore! Just look at your own mother!”
I gasped, and my eyes welled, my body filling with anger. I’d told Gabriel all about my mother. Her drug addiction and how abandoned I’d felt as a child and teenager. Now he was throwing it in my face. I shouldn’t have put that past him since he’d spent years threatening to take my son from me if I dated.
“I’ve already got Suzanne working on drawing up custody papers.”
I inhaled a sharp breath, but he kept right on talking.
“Since my son is obviously not a priority to you, I need to take over for his well-being. I am filing for full custody.”
“Gabriel, you can’t do this,” I insisted.
“I can’t?” He peered at me with so much resentment.
“I didn’t do anything. Diego is my priority. He’s my life. You know that! You have barely seen him in the last year. You’ve been the absentee parent. Not me!” My fury was growing. How fucking dare he insinuate that because I dared to fall in love with someone other than him, that I was the irresponsible parent here.
“What I know is that his mother is off whoring with a Townsend and stringing my six-year-old son along for the ride. Now, I’m sure Marcia will be shocked and a little hurt by learning about Diego, but she will eventually forgive me once he comes to live with us. She’s been empty-nesting lately since our youngest went to college. She’ll come around to having another young child in the house again.”
My stomach churned and I wanted to reach across his desk to throttle him but I knew that would only add more fuel to the fire.
“What do you want?” I asked through gritted teeth.
He rose to his full height, standing behind his desk with his arms folded, assessing me. “What did you say?” He heard me but this was part of his game. He got a thrill out of this. I understood that now.
“I said, what do you want? I’ll do whatever you want.”
He wasted no time answering. “Get rid of him.”
My eyes bulged and air escaped my lungs as I felt like someone was beginning to crush my windpipe. “What?”
“Get. Rid. Of. Him. Today!” he snarled. “Townsend. I want him out of your life and out of Diego’s life. Otherwise, you can kiss your son good-bye! You will never see him again until his eighteenth birthday if I take custody.”
I blinked, trying to hold back the tears that were a result of my anger. I was forced to choose between a life without my son or a life without Carter. Three months ago, I would’ve never thought anything would’ve felt as crushing as this. I looked over at Diego and I saw his eyes quickly move from me back down to the screen in front of him. I noticed he still had his headphones in. I took comfort in knowing he hadn’t overheard this conversation.
Slowly, I pulled my phone out of my purse. Making the only choice I could, I pressed the number to dial Carter’s cell phone.
****
Carter
“One hell of a save!” One of the guys slapped me on the back as I entered the kitchen. We’d just gotten back to the station house after the fire at Townsend Industries. Apparently, my save had made the local news.
“Showing you clowns how its done!” I retorted.
“Ayyye! With a little help from us,” Corey spoke up, holding his hand up to high-five me. We slapped hands twice then shoulder bumped before moving to the kitchen table.
“Yeah, too fucking bad your taste in pizza isn’t as good as your wall dangling skills,” Don grunted as he set the pies on the table. The room went up in laughter. Eric brought the plates over to the table, handing me the stack. I took one and passed the stack to Corey right before sitting down. We all dove in as soon as the box opened. The room filled with the delicious aroma of sausage, peppers, and cheese. After the first few bits, the normal shit talking that accompanied our meals started up.
“How’s that pretty lady of yours, Carter?”
I paused, pizza halfway to my mouth at the mention of Michelle from Don’s mouth. His eyes were glittering with laughter, even though it was a rather innocent question. Beside me, I heard Corey whistle low in his throat.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, Don. You know how sensitive my man is about his woman.” Corey clapped me on the shoulder. “Just leave well enough alone, man.”
“What? It’s just a damn question. You getting soft on me, too, Corey? First, Eric gets his panties twisted about his Angel. Next, Carter threatens to beat my ass over a woman he pulls out of a car, and somehow I’m in the wrong,” he scoffed, shaking his head before taking another bite of his slice.
“’Cause you’re an ass,” I spoke up.
“Especially, when it comes to women,” Eric added.
“Don’t mind yourself about my woman. Just have a damn suit picked out for my wedding when you get the invite.”
The entire table went quiet, but I went right on eating. I meant what I’d said.
“It’s like that?” Corey questioned.
I shrugged, not even looking at him.
“Fucking knew it!” Don laughed, clapping.
“The fuck are you so giddy about it for?”
“Because!” he shouted. “I love weddings. I’ve gotten plenty of sympathy pussy at ’em. Weddings and funerals.”
“This guy is sick. You’re fucking sick. You know that?” Corey stated, laughing at Don.
Don smirked. “It’s true though. All those friends of the bride, feeling sorry for themselves because they just broke up with their boyfriend or he refuses to put a ring on it.”
“So you prey on desperate women?” Eric chimed in.
Don rolled his eyes. “Don’t think of it as preying on women. Shit, I’m not a damn predator.”
“Close enough.”
Don glared at me. “I’m providing a service, really.”
“A service?”
“Yes, Corey, a damn service. Helping those ladies live a little. Experience one of the best orgasms of their lives after the sadness and loneliness that comes with being single at a wedding. I’m a help to society, really.” He shrugged.
I watched as he leaned over the table and grabbed another slice of pizza, plopping it onto his plate. “For someone who complains about my pizza choice, you sure are filling your stomach on it.”
Don paused mid-chew. “It’s not like I had a choice.”
I frowned. “Swallow before speaking. Fucking animal. Anyway, I–” I was cut off when my phone began ringing in my pocket. I pulled it out and grinned when the name “Sugar” appeared on the screen. “I would waste my time with your dumbass some more but someone who actually matters is calling.” I tossed my napkin on my empty plate, and picked it up as I stood.
“Hello, sugar,” I answered smoothly, taking my plate to the sink.
“H-hey.”
My back went straight at the same time an icy cold chill moved down my spine. Something wasn’t right. Her voice. Moving quickly, I exited the kitchen, stepping into one of the back hallways of the station to grant me the privacy I so obviously needed.
“What’s wrong?”
There was a pause on the other end of the phone. A pause I didn’t like and I knew whatever I heard next was going to send me spiraling.
“I can’t see you anymore.”
See what I mean?
My heart constricted in my chest and my entire body filled with a weight I’d never felt before.
“Why not?” I moved right past my shock and went looking for answers. Whatever the issue was, we needed to obliterate it because there was nothing I was going to let stand in the way of Michelle and I.
“B-because …” She paused. The seconds ticked on. My heart beat rapidly in my chest and I had to bite the shit out of my tongue to keep from barking out, demanding immediate answers. That was my usual way, but I wasn’t looking to scare her. I could already hear the fear in her voice.
“It’s your job,” she blurted out.
My frown deepened and I scowled. “My job?”
“I saw you today. You were hanging from a thirty story building, suspended by a rope. I nearly passed out. That’s what you do for a living. Everyday your life’s on the line. And i-it would be one thing if it was just me, but it’s not. I can’t put D-Diego in a position to be hurt.” Her voice was low. The words she was saying made sense but they made absolutely no sense to me. Sure, she’d expressed concerns and fears about my job. She often asked about my squad’s contingency plans for rescues and all of that. I’d patiently answered all of her questions to reassure her. Yes, my job could be dangerous but we were the best and took precautions at every turn.
“You want me to quit my job?” I blurted, not even knowing where that question came from.
I heard her sharp intake of air on the other end of the phone. “I’m not asking you to quit your job. You love it too much.”
“I love you and Diego more.”
Silence. Nothing came from the other end.
“Are you still there?” I knew she hadn’t hung up.
“Y-yes,” she croaked out. “Carter, don’t make this more difficult than it needs to be. I can’t let my son get too attached to someone who may not come home from work one day. It’s not fair to him.”
“Why are you hiding behind Diego? What’re you lying about?” I growled, anger rising.
“I’m not hiding or lying,” she insisted. “We just need to end this now before things get too far and too complicated.”
“It’s too fucking late for that, sugar.”
“I’m going to hang up now. Please just respect my decision.”
The click on the other end of the line solidified her comments. I stood in the middle of the hallway of my firehouse, hearing the guys in the kitchen laugh at something, and I couldn’t remember a time I’d felt so alone. I looked down toward the dark, hardwood floor in front of me, just making sure that my actual heart hadn’t fallen out of my chest and lay as a bloodied stump on the ground in front of me. That might’ve been a welcomed sight in the state I was in. But it wasn’t there. No. My heart still beat in my chest. It only felt like it’d been ripped out from me, along with my entire world.