Ales
Knowing Elani remembered everything made my heart soar. As I kissed her, I thanked her for remembering me, for letting me kiss her, and for her kissing me back with such passion. I never thought there would be a day where I missed something as much as I missed the way she kissed me. I didn’t care whether her name was Alana or Elani, just as long as it was her. When she woke up, I knew she was up, but I hadn’t expected her to slide off the bed unto my lap. I can admit I was shocked for a moment wondering why she was doing that, especially with everything that happened in less than twenty four hours.
When I looked at her, my hands betrayed me as they went to rest right on her waist. This had become too much for me. I kept thinking about Elani not remembering who she was, but her actions were so natural. As she looked at me, I was ready to shut her out, but she quickly wrapped her arms around my neck. I stayed frozen, wishing for her to get off me, yet at the same time, I knew she was right where she belonged, in my arms. I squeezed her tighter when her soft lips touched my skin. The only other time Elani initiated kissing me was when she thought she could one up me, but I reminded her she couldn’t do that.
I shut my eyes, trying not to think about how she knew right where to kiss me, especially when I was like this. She reminded me so much of Alana at this moment. This was too familiar. As I was about to say something, she ran her fingers through my hair. When she got to the nape of my neck, she tugged. A groan escaped my lips. She was doing way too many things like Alana, even if it was only her body telling her to. The way she kissed my neck as if she was begging me to forgive her. Her little body was so close to me it wouldn’t take me more than a second to lay her back on the bed and slide inside of her with one go. When she rained kisses on my jaw, I needed her to stop. I didn’t want to take advantage of the state she was in. I wanted to speak up, but she beat me to it.
“Forgive me, my liege,” she said to me, and my body melted into hers.
She would always be my weakness. This could’ve been a joke or anything, but I didn’t care. I missed her sweet voice for centuries. I missed everything about her, even the way she would hug me to the point it felt like I was suffocating, but I always endured it, because she was my girl. The final straw was when she kissed my shoulder; I couldn’t handle it. I was seconds away from tearing off her hospital gown. I tried the first time to tell her, yet the only sound that came out was a grunt. I took a moment, and I tried again.
“Stop kissing me, Elani.” My voice came out too rough, and I knew I hurt her feelings.
She attempted to move out of my arms, but I pulled her back in. I heard her sigh as she laid her head on my shoulder. I shouldn’t have done that; I wasn’t ready for her confession of what happened. I didn’t know how she felt about the baby, the pregnancy or what happened to Alana. I was man enough to admit what she confessed hurt my feelings. The ways she apologized to me about our baby she had put in danger… At first, I wanted to tell her I wasn’t mad she’d made that decision. I was more upset I’d died and left her all the responsibilities. I left her with child and heartbroken; what else did I expect her to do?
I could never handle it when she cried. Her crying always tugged at my soul. When she started to tear up, I needed her to look me in my eyes for her to know I would never let her cry again like this. I had left her crying, and it haunted me each time I shut my eyes. No one knew of the moments my eyes shut, replaying me as a ghost, seeing everything happen repeatedly. I could handle it all, but what I couldn’t handle was seeing Alana stab herself. It killed me inside every night and, when I woke up, I would search for her as if I was insane to the point Patro would have to fight with me so I could calm down enough to go back to sleep.
I had to stop myself from kissing her. The way she responded wasn’t the same as Alana had done in the past, and I wasn’t complaining. I knew she was both women now, and it made it even more exciting for me. I would get to know her all over again.
Elani was quiet as the doctor spoke to her. She refused to get off my lap. At least she wasn’t straddling me when the doctor came in. She had gone to the bathroom, and the doctor saved herself from getting a show. We both listened to the doctor as she spoke about the sonogram and how the baby was doing.
“Would you guys like to find out the sex of the baby, now?” she asked us. “I wanted to wait to tell you; I knew you needed a moment to talk first.” She looked at Elani.
Elani smiled and looked back at me. I smiled back at her, not able to help myself; her smile was infectious.
“Whatever you want, baby,” I said.
Of course, I wanted to know, but I figured I could give her this much for now, before I became my old, domineering self.
She looked at the doctor and nodded.
The doctor smiled. “You’re having a baby girl,” she said.
Elani giggled and my smile disappeared. I ran my fingers through my hair and threw my head back.
“Oh gods!” I exclaimed.
“What?” she whispered.
“I need a whole new set of guns!” I said to her and righted my head to smile at her. I felt a whole new joy and fear erupt throughout my entire body. I hid my fear of what could happen to Elani, especially after she saw that message. I had to remind her not to say a damn word about it.