Chapter Twelve

NICO DIDN’T TRULY FEEL the effects of what he’d done until many hours later, when he wandered into the nursery and found it empty. He’d been operating on autopilot, and now…

Now his son was no longer there, no longer ready to smile and babble at him and ask to be picked up. Nico liked holding his boy. The little guy put his arms around his neck and held on tight while Nico carried him around and talked to him in that silly voice parents often used with children. He’d never quite understood the urge to do so until he had his own child.

And then he hadn’t cared how ridiculous he might sound, or who might overhear him.

He stood at the crib’s edge and gripped the railing tight, staring into the emptiness with an unseeing gaze. Danny was gone, and the knowledge ripped him in two.

How had he managed to let them go? Why had he done it?

Part of him, the part he’d shoved down deep, howled in rage and grief.

He’d done the right thing; he’d given Lily her freedom because she had a right to find happiness with someone she could love. She deserved to be safe and well, to not live in fear. He could give her that much. If it hurt him to do so, he would get over it. She came first.

He could feel the weight of the blue diamond ring he’d given her in his trouser pocket. She’d left it on his pillow before she’d gone, and he’d carried it around for hours now, the solidity of it searing him like a brand. Reminding him of what he’d lost.

A hot, possessive emotion washed over him. He wanted her.

But it wasn’t just a sexual need.

She came first. The feeling buffeting him was so strong, so overwhelming, that he wondered how he’d not been bowled over by it sooner.

He’d been happy with Lily and Danny. Lily was the only woman who’d ever seemed to care more about the man than the prince. Hadn’t she told him she didn’t like the prince? That the man was the one she preferred?

She’d given herself to him when she had no idea who he was, other than plain Nico Cavelli. She hadn’t known about the money or the privilege, hadn’t known he was from an ancient and royal family. She’d thought he was a foreign student visiting New Orleans for Mardi Gras.

Dio, she loved him. Nico couldn’t breathe as he gripped the railing. Anguish ripped through him. She’d never said the words, but he knew she did. How had he been so blind? She’d lied to him and he’d believed her.

Madonna diavola, what a fool he was!

She’d told him she didn’t love him because she hadn’t believed him capable of loving her. Why had he not seen this? Why had he not told her the truth?

Because he did love her. She meant everything to him. When Paolo took her, he’d thought he would go mad with the urge to kill the man. Her safety had been his paramount concern. Not his own, not his country’s—hers. Hers and Danny’s. He would have died for them both if it had been necessary, and to hell with duty.

He was in love with the woman he’d married, the woman who’d borne his child all alone—and he’d let her go. He’d sent her away because he’d believed she wanted her freedom, that she would be happier without him.

Dio, Dio, Dio.

Nico rubbed his chest, but the raw, empty hole did not go away. He’d let her go because he’d wanted to right the wrong he’d done her when he forced her to marry him.

But, once again, he’d gotten it wrong.

He spun away from the empty crib and strode through the apartment to his office. It was very early in the morning, and he hadn’t slept at all, but he had much to do.

This time, he would get it right.

In the end, it was extraordinarily easy to leave her life in Montebianco and return to Port Pierre. She’d kept hoping—through the numbing ordeal of being ferried to the airport, boarding the royal jet and getting settled for the flight—that Nico would suddenly appear and tell her he’d been wrong, that he wanted them both to stay.

But the jet took off and there was no turning back. She’d chosen Port Pierre because it was familiar, but she had no idea where she would truly end up. Perhaps she’d move to Paris, learn French and find a handsome Frenchman to settle down with. The thought was so strange that it seemed like a film she might view rather than an idea about her life. She was wealthy beyond her dreams, yet she felt poorer than ever and sad.

When they landed in New Orleans, Lily took a room in a nice hotel in the French Quarter. She needed to prepare for her return to Port Pierre. She hadn’t quite considered the logistics of it when she’d told Nico that’s where she wanted to go. He’d ordered the jet made ready without question, and she’d felt that she had to carry through with it or look like a fool.

But if she were truly to return, she would need a place to stay that was big enough to accommodate the full-time nanny and the security team Nico sent with her. She’d thought the bodyguards would return to Montebianco when they delivered her to her destination, but no, they were as permanent as a presidential Secret Service detail. Danny was a prince, and the heir to the Montebiancan throne. He required security. She hadn’t escaped the danger after all, no matter how far she’d run.

Lily spent four days in the city, putting off the trip to Port Pierre each morning as she contemplated her next move. She went to see her mother in the treatment facility. Nico had spared no expense in getting the best help possible. Donna Morgan looked better than Lily had ever seen her. Her skin wasn’t so sallow, and she was actually filling out a bit. And she asked about her grandson, which shocked Lily and made her cry. When Lily left, Donna asked her to send pictures and to stay in touch. It was more interest in her life than her mother had shown in years and it touched her deeply.

On the sixth day, Lily hired a car and made the hour trek to her hometown. Port Pierre was exactly as she’d left it—and yet everything had changed. She knew she couldn’t work at the paper anymore, not when she was the news. Everyone stared at her as she made the rounds of the shops and businesses she’d once frequented.

She even went to visit Carla, but it was awkward. Her friend had bought the historic home in Port Pierre’s center that she’d always wanted and was fixing it up with the money Nico had paid her. Carla apologized over and over, though Lily told her she understood. But she left the encounter feeling more alone than she ever had. Something had changed between them in the short time Lily was gone, and she knew their relationship would never be the same. They would remain friends, but they would never have that easy camaraderie they’d once had. Their paths had diverged forever.

Lily returned to New Orleans more confused and upset than ever. It really was true that you could never go home again. She was untethered, blowing in the wind like a dried husk, uncertain where she would land or if she would survive the trip. Violent storms were an unfortunate part of life in Louisiana, but you could rebuild after a storm. How did you fix the damage left in your soul when it was a man who’d caused the devastation?

But of course she would survive, she thought angrily. It would just take time.

As if on cue, an afternoon thunderstorm blew into the city, lashing furiously at the windows and cracking booms that frightened Danny and made Signora Cosimo’s eyes widen in alarm each time. When it was over, and everyone was soothed, Lily decided to walk the rain-washed streets alone. She needed to release some of her energy, needed to make a decision about what to do next, and she was determined to accomplish it this afternoon.

New Orleans was still a vibrant city, full of equal parts danger and exhilaration. She avoided the decadence of Bourbon Street, instead choosing the more elegant Royal Street a block over. To think she could now walk into any of the fancy shops and buy anything she wanted was still beyond her grasp. She was so accustomed to living frugally, with the exception of her two weeks as the Crown Princess of Montebianco.

Eventually, she had to pass St. Louis Cathedral. She hesitated only a moment before looping around to the front of the building on Chartres Street. The white facade of the church practically glowed in the pale light that remained after the storm had passed. Lily crossed the street to Jackson Square, then turned and looked up at the three spires of the church.

She sighed, then decided to start toward the hotel again. A man ambled toward her through the square and she stopped, struck by how he reminded her of Nico at this distance. He even wore a hooded running jacket, the same as Nico had that first time she’d met him. At the man’s back was the Mississippi River, turning golden as a ray of setting sunshine spilled over its surface. A barge glided by in the distance and she focused on it wistfully.

But when her gaze returned to the man, her heart quickened.

It could not be…

It took a very long moment for her to realize that her heart had recognized what her eyes still did not want to admit.

“Liliana,” he said, drawing up in front of her. His hands were in his jeans pockets, but he took them out and pushed back the hood.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, dumbstruck. It was too much, the sight of him. All her memories of meeting him here two years ago crashed down on her. And everything since. She felt as though she needed to sit, so she retreated to a park bench a few feet away and thunked down on it.

Nico followed, though he stood over her and didn’t join her on the bench. He looked…sheepish. And as if he hadn’t slept in days. Lines of strain bracketed his mouth, and dark circles lay heavy under his eyes.

His beautiful eyes.

“I want you to marry me,” he said.

If he’d announced he was joining the circus, she couldn’t have been more surprised. “But you just divorced me. Why would I want to go through it again?”

“Because you love me.”

Lily shot up off the bench, heart pounding. “How dare you come here and try to manipulate me this way! What happened, Nico, did you decide you’d made a mistake and now you want us back?”

“Yes.” Said without hesitation.

The steam faded from Lily’s tirade. She had not the strength to battle him, not anymore. “You pushed us away. You told us to go.”

“I have regretted it every moment since. I made a mistake.”

Lily shook her head, tears blurring her eyes. “I can’t do this, Nico. I can’t go through the ups and downs of a life with you.”

“The ups and downs can be quite pleasant, yes?”

“I can’t do this,” she repeated.

His smile faded. He looked grave, as serious as she’d ever seen him. “I want you, Lily. I want Danny. Come back to Montebianco with me. I will protect you both with my life.”

She choked down a sob.

“I can’t.” She clenched her fists together, fought the urge to scream at the top of her lungs. Her entire body trembled with the opposing forces beating at her. “Oh God, it’s not fair! I can’t stand a life without you, but how can I manage one with you?”

She whirled around, intent on getting away, but he caught her against him before she’d taken the first step, pressed her cheek to his chest while she clutched his jacket. She wanted to push him away, and yet she couldn’t. How pitiful was she?

All she could do was cling to his warmth, his strength. He smelled like home to her, like everything she’d ever wanted in her life. She closed her eyes, drank in his scent.

Beneath her cheek, his heart beat nearly as fast as her own. He pushed her a step back suddenly, tilted her head up with his palms on either side of her face. His eyes were as haunted as she felt as he looked down at her.

“I love you, Lily. Do you hear me? I love you.”

She felt the tears slip down her cheeks now, faster than before. “You don’t mean it,” she said. “You can’t love me. You’re supposed to love someone like Antonella—”

“Never. I love you. No other woman compares to you. You are bright and beautiful, and you love me—”

“I didn’t say that!”

His smile was tender. “You didn’t have to.” He grasped her hand, pressed it to his heart. “Do you feel what you do to me? You see the real me, Lily. You are the only one who ever has, the one who owns me body and soul. If you tell me no now, I will respect that. But I will die inside for every day you are not with me—”

“Stop, Nico,” she whispered. “I can’t take anymore—”

“It is the truth, tesoro mio. I adore you, I adore our baby, I want my life to be full again. It will only be so with you in it.”

She stared up at him, her heart careening into territory she didn’t understand. But her mind was more cautious. “I want it, too, Nico—but how can I be sure you won’t change your mind? That you won’t tire of a wife and children? I won’t accept girlfriends or royal mistresses or whatever you want to call them.”

“Lily, for God’s sake, didn’t you hear me? I love you. Only you. I want no one else. I cannot imagine being with anyone else.” He took her by the shoulders, looked her square in the eye. “You told me that you never wanted anyone but me. How can you imagine that I don’t know my own heart like you know yours?”

“That’s fair,” she whispered, her throat aching.

“Tell me you love me, Lily. Tell me you will marry me.”

But she couldn’t do it just yet. “It’s been six days, Nico.”

“I was on my way within hours after you left, but my father had a mild heart attack—”

“Oh no! I’m sorry.”

“He is well, cara. It was very mild, and the drugs dissolved the clot instantly. But I had to return and remain as regent while he was on bed rest.”

“Duty called,” she said.

“It will often do so. I cannot lie to you about that. Sometimes, I will have to obey the dictates of duty. But I will never do so when your happiness is at stake. Never, Mi Principessa.”

She toyed with one of the strings on his jacket. “I understand, Nico. And it’s one of the things I admire most about you. Your dedication to doing what is right, I mean.”

“It has taken me a very long while to get this right.” He dropped to one knee, and her breath caught. “Marry me, Liliana. Have babies with me. Make me smile, make me crazy, but most of all, say yes and make me happy.”

She blinked down at him. He meant it—oh God, he meant it.

“Shouldn’t you have a ring?” she teased, joy beginning to bubble inside her soul.

He grinned, fishing something from his pocket. “I do. It is most gaudy and ostentatious, but I have learned my lesson, I assure you. This,” he said, slipping the correctly sized blue diamond onto her shaking ring finger, “is merely temporary. Until we can go to the jeweler’s and pick out a proper ring together.”

Lily clutched the diamond to her. “No, this one is perfect. It’s the one you gave me when I said yes to your proposal. I couldn’t dream of trading it.”

“So you agree to marry me?”

She wrapped her arms around his neck. “I do,” she said, then bent to kiss him.

When she finally stopped, he stood and swept her into his arms, twirling her around until she giggled.

Then he set her down and pulled her in close, his hands on her hips. She couldn’t mistake that he wanted her when their bodies came into contact.

“I am crazy for you, Lily. Crazy.” He kissed her thoroughly, groaning when she pressed in against him. But her body ached, too. If she could get him back to the hotel, send Signora Cosimo and Danny down to dinner…

“I have a room,” he murmured. “Do you want to come back to it?”

“I would love to.”

They hurried through the streets until he pulled up short in front of a building that housed an inexpensive hotel. Lily gaped at him. “It’s the same place.”

He grinned. “The same room, too.”

And then they were inside, tearing at each other’s clothes, mouths and bodies desperate to connect again. They never made it to the bed. Nico backed her into the wall and lifted her, then thrust inside her while she wrapped her legs around his waist. Their lovemaking was urgent, intense, and she quickly spiraled to the heights of pleasure, then splintered apart while he relentlessly drove her over the edge.

When it was finished, they slid down the wall to the floor, breathing hard. Lily let her gaze slide over the room. The rose wallpaper was about forty years out-of-date, the furnishings were neat and clean, though slightly scarred and threadbare, and the floor creaked.

“I’m surprised you remembered which room,” she said.

He looked indignant. “This place is very special, cara. The future king of Montebianco was conceived here.”

“And maybe, if we’re lucky, a brother or sister.”

Nico kissed her and grinned. “I will do my part, Lily. As many times as you deem necessary.”

“I’m sure one night won’t be enough. We will need to keep trying again and again…”

His smile widened. “And again and again.”

“Now you’ve got the idea.” Men. Thank God.

Nico laughed. “Until I die of exhaustion, Mi Principessa, I live to serve you in all ways.”

Lily traced her finger along his beautiful, lush mouth. How had she ever gotten so lucky? This was right, so right.

“I love you, Nico Cavelli. Even if you are a prince.”