Chapter 19
Charity
I sat on the bed, my face stinging from the slap, my chest heaving with equal parts adrenaline and panic when Radar knocked on the edge of the open door frame. The door had swung mostly shut when Nothing had blown past it to bound down the stairs and I had just enough time to snatch the comforter to cover my nudity before Radar looked around the corner.
“Charity, you – shit,” he sighed out and nodded, turning his head to the side and up to stare at the ceiling. “Right, do me a favor and put something on while I go grab some ice.”
“Sure,” I said and sniffed, the first tears gathering and starting to fall.
He turned to go out the door, and back to me asked, “You want me to call Hope, or Faith? They stayed at the marina on the boats.”
“No, I’ll be okay,” I said.
“K, be right back.”
As soon as he was out of sight I dove for the closet and swept an oversized tee over my head and shrugged a pair of leggings up my legs. I was as covered as I was going to get. He knocked twice and waited for an answer before returning to the room.
“Yeah,” I said and dashed at the moisture in my eyes.
“What happened?” he asked.
“Nothing –“
“Don’t tell me nothing happened, something clearly did.”
I laughed, “No, I wasn’t, I was telling you that Nothing, the person, was having a bad dream; I tried to wake him up, but he was flailing,” I took the proffered icepack from Radar who let out in a string of Spanish that was clearly an impressive long line of swear words, but his angry posture diminished. “Yeah, that, anyways, he was really upset, cried out a couple of times for Corrine and Katy before I woke him up, I think he was having a flashback.”
“Yeah, it’s been a long time since he’s had one. We thought he was over it.”
“No one said he was in the accident with them, I always just assumed…”
Radar sat down on the edge of the bed with me and searched my face, wiping off a tear with his thumb and absently off on his long denim shorts.
“Well if you’re going to get beat up over it, you have a right to know,” he said but didn’t sound happy about it.
“It wasn’t his fault, the same way it isn’t a soldier’s fault when they have a flashback, my sister has them sometimes.”
“Yeah, we tend to forget she was deployed, anyways, Nothing was in the car that night, was the one driving, but it wasn’t his fault. This drunk guy hit them head on, on Corrine and Katy’s side. Nothing was trapped and couldn’t do anything. Corrine was killed on impact, Katy died later at the hospital before Nothing even got out of surgery. His thighbone got busted in two places and they had to put some metal in there to hold shit together. He was laid up for weeks in the hospital.”
“His heart never healed,” I observed.
“It was a stupid fucking accident he had no control over, but he likes to blame himself. If he hadn’t looked away, if he hadn’t worked that extra shift, if he hadn’t been so tired… Man, excuse after excuse but it doesn’t change anything. Dude’s lucky to be alive.”
I pursed my lips and nodded, pulling the ice away from my face; Radar had a look and moved my hand with the icepack in it back in place.
“Then I come to town…”
“Yeah, and for a minute, like thirty seconds today, it was like having the old Galahad back.”
“Galahad?” I asked.
“That was his road name before he started insisting everyone call him ‘Nothing.’”
“I see, let me guess,”
“White knight, out to save everybody,” we said in unison. I hung my head and sighed.
“You really like him, huh?” Radar asked.
“Too much information, but he’s hot as fucking hell and I’m a white knight too. Just something about the tortured bad boy image really got me.”
“We all make mistakes,” he joked and I shook my head.
“This isn’t a mistake. We have a crap ton in common, and I can see he’s a really good guy, just really fucking confused.”
“That’s putting it mildly. This mean you aren’t giving up?”
“Seems to me, there’s been a lot of giving up on Nothing, don’t you think?"
“Ouch,” he put his hands over his chest as if I wounded him. I met his eyes and didn’t flinch, and he shifted uncomfortably.
“Compassion fatigue is a thing,” I murmured and Radar gave a nod, taking the out I’d given him.
“Yeah, and we’ve been in it to win it since it happened, there just comes a point where you gotta let go of the bike and watch ‘em pedal on their own.”
“Spoken like a father,” I said dryly.
“Daughter, just turned eighteen.”
I raised my eyebrows, “Yeah, I started young.”
“Nothing isn’t a child,” I said.
“No, he’s a grown ass man that needs to start behaving like one.”
“Seems like I’ve done a bang up job of shaking up his whole world.” It was my turn to let out an explosive breath, and stare at the ceiling.
“Yeah, but Honey, truthfully, Nothing needs it. He’s been stuck like he’s been for far too long. Now, that’s not to say I’d blame you one bit if you walked away now – okay.” Radar held up his hands in defense of my withering look.
“I don’t give up at the first sign of trouble, and I’m fairly convinced that Nothing needs my help. I’m going to do what I can for him, I just need to think on how to approach it so he won’t spook or bolt on me.”
“Sex was that good, huh?” he asked looking at me dubiously.
“Mind blowing,” I said without missing a beat then frowned, “What are you still doing here anyways? Don’t you have a house of your own?”
He shrugged, “All my equipment is still here, plus my place doesn’t have a generator. The cable and internet lines are underground, so they weren’t as affected by the storm, and I can’t go longer than five minutes without my web fix.”
I took the icepack off my lip and Radar tipped my chin, turning my face into the light to have a look.
“Eh,” he shrugged and moved my hand with the icepack in it back toward the minor injury; I sighed and kept icing the lip.
“I’m not used to being the patient,” I grumbled and his eyes darkened. I sighed, “It was an accident,” I reiterated.
“Yeah, but I can’t help but feel responsible somehow, too.” A look of real disappointment and frustration crossed his face and I nodded.
“Cutter said something to me. He said that none of us could help Nothing, not until Nothing was ready to help himself. He’s right, you know.”
“Yeah, I know. I just can’t help but wonder if there was something more we could and should be doing as his brothers. Letting him fucking stew for three years hasn’t exactly helped him any.” He eyed me carefully. “Then you show up and he’s all shook up.” He paused for a long minute searching my face. “Piece of unsolicited advice?”
“Sure,” I agreed softly.
“It’s pretty clear you like our boy, and it’s pretty clear he likes you, too. Give him a few days to get a grip. Don’t go looking for him. You’re bound to run into each other, it’s a small town, but if I know Nothing, you go looking for him it’s just going to make him retreat even further.”
I nodded, “Makes sense, and you’re right. I do like him. We really have a lot in common, this insane attraction aside. Plus, I can’t help it. The wounded bad boy routine really is hot as hell.”
Radar laughed, and nodded. “Fair enough, Trouble, fair enough.”
We sat there, comfortably, quietly, before I thought to ask, “You aren’t going over there to hand him his ass again, are you?”
He chuckled, and it sent a bit of a shiver down my spine, “No, he didn’t do anything wrong, this time if it is, as you say; an accident.” I nodded emphatically, and he nodded too, bobbing his head up and down in a parody of me. “I’ll go check on him for you in the morning if it would make you feel better.”
I nodded, “It would, thanks.”
“You know, I like what you do to our boy, Charity. It really was almost like having Galahad back today.”
“I think I’d like to meet Galahad,” I murmured.
“You have, by the sounds of things going on up here.”
I blushed a deep pink which he thought was hysterical, “I know I opened the door a minute ago, but can we not commentate on my sex life anymore, please?” I asked.
Radar wiped tears from his eyes, “Spoken like a true woman, but if it makes you do that, then the boys’ll smell blood in the water. They'll tease the hell out of you. You’d best get used to it with a lot like us. Gotta give as much as you take.”
“Fun,” I said and sighed.
“Seriously though, you gonna be okay?”
I nodded, “Yeah. It was an accident, the adrenaline will wear off and I’ll be good as new.”
“Atta girl,” he said, all smiles. I handed him the icepack and he stood up. “You need anything, I’m right downstairs.”
“Thanks, but I’m a big kid now,” I said with a half-smile and he shot me a little salute.
“A fast learner, too.”
“Good night, Radar… and thanks.”
“Night, Trouble, and think nothing of it,” he waggled his eyebrows and I rolled my eyes.
I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about the raw naked pain in Nothing’s eyes. His violent reaction after having hit me spoke more of a fear on his part that he’d actually hurt me. I touched lightly, the corner of my lip and sighed. He’d been in the throes of a full on flashback, I didn’t for a minute think it was me that he’d been fending off, I just think that I’d gotten too close when I should have backed the hell off.
I closed my eyes and sighed, but it was all for naught, my bedroom’s overhead light came on and I looked over to see Hope and Faith, their men right behind them, all piling into the room.
“Good lord, Radar,” I sighed out rolling my eyes.
“What happened?” Hope demanded.
I shook my head and just came clean, ripping it off like a Band-Aid, “Nothing brought me back to the house, one thing led to another, got our freak on, went to bed and he had a nightmare. There’s really nothing to tell.”
She touched the corner of my lip with a thumb, gently cradling my chin with her fingers and I frowned, jerking my head back.
“Looks like one hell of a bad dream,” Marlin commented dryly and he didn’t look at all happy.
“More like a flashback, I think.” Hope and Cutter exchanged a look. “I figured the two soldiers in the room could appreciate what those are like,” I said just as dryly as Marlin had been the moment before. “Look, legit, it was an accident and I think he’s taking it really freaking hard.”
Faith sat down next to me and poked at my arm; I scowled at her and jerked it out of her reach. “And those?” she asked softly. I looked and sure enough, there were bruises on my upper arms from where he’d gripped me.
“I tried to comfort him, it didn’t work out. He just wanted away from me.”
“Don’t worry, Trouble; I get it,” Cutter said soothingly.
“Glad someone does,” I muttered.
Cutter’s phone rang and he pulled it out of his leather vest, checking the screen. “Yeah?” he answered it. “Uh huh, good to know. No, keep him there, let him drown his sorrows, take the keys to his bike though, me an’ Marlin ’ll come and get him. Yep, Thanks, man.”
“Is he okay?” I asked.
“Seems you were right, Trouble. Nothing’s drowning his sorrows at one of the places on the boulevard that has a generator going. Charlie says he’s kind of a wreck. Let him drink some, Marlin and me, we’ll get him home. Don’t you worry none.”
I nodded, “Cool.”
Marlin and Cutter left after some more checking with me, finally taking their asses out when I started to get irritated. Hope searched my face and Faith giggled.
“Well, Nothing’s fucked,” Hope said and I scowled at her.
“In more ways than one,” Faith said and put her fingers over her mouth. I rolled my eyes so hard I saw brain matter and flopped back into my bed.
“Move it over, Blossom,” Hope ordered.
I obliged with a “Whatever you say, Corporal Badass.”
“Neeah!” she said and stuck her butt out at me which of course made me move faster.
“Seriously, you okay?”
“Scared the shit out of me, but I’m pretty sure it scared the shit out of him, too. It was an accident and I’m fine. I’m worried about him though.”
Hope sighed and we three sisters snuggled into a cuddle pile, “He’ll be fine, but Jesus you two came together in one hell of a passion-plosion, didn’t you?”
“He’s so freaking hot,” I moaned like it was the hardest of hardships.
“Hey! Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“Mmm! You did. I just don’t know where to go from here.”
“My advice?”
“Hmm?”
“Don’t let him get away with shit. Spend time with him, don’t shy away.”
“Radar said I should give him a day or two, otherwise he might retreat further.”
“Pfft! Fuck that,” Hope said but it was Faith that stopped us both.
“You know Einstein’s definition of insanity?” she asked quietly.
“What, doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result?” I asked.
“That’s the one,” she said.
Hope huffed a sigh, “Seems to me these guys have been giving Nothing, nothing but time to sort himself out. It doesn’t appear to be working, though, now does it?”
“Not really, no.”
“So what are you going to do that’s different?” Faith asked.
I thought about it, and made a decision.
“Something different,” I uttered.
“That’s my girl,” Hope said and got up to switch out the light. It’d been a long time since we’d all tried to squeeze into one bed. It was kind of nice.