Two broken fingers, a severely bruised hand, and one painkiller. The doctor had diagnosed, set, and handed out the meds in record time. At first I was skeptical of his medical abilities—after all, why would shifters need a doctor when they heal so fast? But once Doc Schultz set my fingers in a brace and wrapped my hand, I started to trust him a little more.
The brace meant that it was going to be a pain in the ass to start my sampling survey tomorrow. It was hard enough to record my data with gloves…now I had a giant left hand and no opposable thumb.
Stupid Alaska.
Marcus still wasn’t back and I felt like an idiot sitting in his house without him being here. But I also had to admit that I was curious about this particular coyote alpha. I hadn’t realized his importance until Doc had filled me in. Marcus hadn’t come across as a pushy, dominant, alpha shifter to me. Sure, he’d exuded power, but all shifters did. It was just a part of their nature that they felt like they were better than us mere humans. And while I knew not all shifters probably felt that way, I’d yet to meet one who didn’t.
I shuffled through the small living and dining space, looking at the photos and artwork on the wall. Marcus seemed to like landscapes, and as I marveled at some of the photographs that had captured early morning fog or a late summer sunset, I wondered if he was the artist. They were good, and if he had taken them, a part of me wanted to get to know that side of the powerful man who’d helped me in the forest.
But then I stopped in my tracks when I saw the next set of photos hanging on the wall closest to the dining room table. A collage of frames, all wooden but of several sizes, showed a young girl at various stages of her life. She had a beautiful smile and the same dark hair and dark eyes of her father. Of Marcus.
My stomach churned. He was a father. And he had a daughter who looked to be in her late teens. Or at least that seemed to be her age when she posed next to Marcus at the top of a mountain peak.
So, where was she?
I wanted to run. I wanted to explore more. But I couldn’t decide how I felt about this new revelation, so I just stood still. When my phone buzzed in my pocket, I jumped. How long had I been standing there thinking about Marcus and his daughter? About me and Brady? About how I couldn’t understand all of the emotions racing through my system right now?
I was in such a daze, I didn’t even bother to check the caller ID before answering on the fifth ring. “Hello?”
“Where the fuck are you?”
Panic instantly snapped me out of my funk. “Elijah?” I whimpered into the phone. No, no no! Why hadn’t I checked the caller first?
“I know you’re not in Wyoming, Holland. So where are you now? Tell me so I can come get you!”
Even over the phone, I could tell Elijah was on the verge of losing control and shifting into his panther. “No.”
“Holland, don’t make me do something I’ll regret.”
“We have nothing between us anymore, Elijah. Brady’s gone. You left me. Please, just leave me alone.” I felt the tears streaming down my face and hated how quickly my ex could put me into a spiral.
“You are one of us, Holland,” he growled. “You will always be one of us.”
“I’m not a shifter.”
“You are the mother of a panther.”
I sucked in a breath and tried to swallow the giant lump in my throat. “Not anymore,” I whispered just before hanging up. I knew I shouldn’t do this—make Elijah mad and give him a reason to come after me. But he didn’t have any claim to me anymore. Not since he chose to bed anything with legs and especially not since Brady died.
Brady.
Some days I wondered if it was a blessing that he didn’t have to grow up under his father’s claim. I hated myself for thinking that way, but I couldn’t stop the thoughts from latching on. Especially when Elijah was acting up and felt like he needed to remind me about how I’d fucked up my life by running away with him a decade ago. Brady had four years of pure happiness. Had he survived longer, I worried his father would have broken him down like his own father had done to him.
The front door closed with a click, startling me once again. I quickly wiped at my eyes and tucked the phone back into my pocket before turning to look at Marcus. His face was etched in tension, his jaw grinding as he watched me sniff away my tears.
“What happened?” he asked, voice rough and gravelly.
I lifted my hand, admiring how it didn’t hurt as bad now that Doc had wrapped it. “You were right. Two broken fingers and a lovely mitt to show for it.”
“I mean why are you crying?”
My phone buzzed and I immediately fished it out, turned it off, and shoved it out of sight. “I’m not.”
Marcus narrowed his eyes at me, but I stood my ground and tried to change the subject. “Who was the woman?” What I really meant to ask was what his meeting had been about, but I hadn’t missed just how gorgeous that woman was who he’d walked away with after dropping me off.
A hint of a smile graced Marcus’ lips. He started to walk into the open kitchen before speaking. “She was a solution.” Marcus popped the top off of two beers, offering me one and taking a long swig of his.
I stared at the bottle, wondering if I should drink this after taking the pain killer, but then thought that it might be nice to drink away the memory of today. “A solution?” I asked, as I sat down at the small kitchen peninsula that divided the dining area.
“Who were you talking to?” he asked instead of answering.
I groaned. “Of course you heard.”
“You sound disappointed,” Marcus teased, his tone lightening up and that smile starting to show again.
“I just forget about shifter hearing sometimes.”
Marcus studied me as I took another sip. And while I would have cringed at Elijah doing the same thing, somehow, I felt…comforted by the way Marcus watched my every move. Especially when his eyes landed on my lips.
“So, are you going to tell me?” he asked.
“Are you going to share with me?”
He swallowed hard and cleared his throat before continuing. Then, the stoic alpha of the Nenana coyote pack, pulled out the chair next to me and sat down. “My closest advisors thought they were doing the right thing.”
“Care to elaborate?” I teased, starting to feel a slight buzz that made me happy.
“Long story short, they tried to set me up on a blind date.”
“With that woman?”
Marcus chuckled. “Yes. Why?”
“She’s gorgeous, that’s why.” I immediately slapped my good hand over my mouth and shook my head. “That didn’t come out right.”
“So, I’m not deserving of a gorgeous woman?” he joked with me.
“See, no. That’s not what I meant.”
“Well, what did you mean?” His eyes sparkled with mischief and I started to really recognize just how handsome he was when he relaxed.
“Are you going on the date?”
“With Ana Luiza?”
“Jesus, she even has a pretty name,” I mumbled, taking another swig so I wouldn’t say something dumb.
Marcus laughed in response and shook his head. “No, I will not be going on a date with her.”
“That’s stupid.”
“What?”
“Was she a coyote?”
He hesitated before saying, “Yes.”
“And she’s absolutely stunning, right?”
“Sure…”
“So why not go on a date with her?”
While Marcus watched my eyes, my lips, my face, I suddenly realized that if his friends were trying to set him up on a date, then that must mean that he was single. And that meant the perhaps his daughter’s mother wasn’t in the picture anymore.
And that gave me a slight tingle in my core. Marcus was available.
“She wasn’t my type,” he finally said.
“Huh.”
He chuckled when I sat back in the chair and stared at him. “What?” His smile lit up the room.
“Just trying to figure you out. That’s all.”
Watching me some more, he paused before asking the question I knew he really wanted to know. “How did you get yourself involved with panthers?”
I felt the phone in my back pocket, thinking that as long as it was hidden away, I could keep Elijah at bay. A part of me wanted to tell Marcus everything, but yet I couldn’t. My ten years with Elijah and the panthers hadn’t been the best moments of my life. Well, except for the four where I got to hold my baby boy close to me every night. Brady had made it better. He’d made me better.
“It’s a long story,” I finally said.
“Can I guess?”
Marcus winked when I looked up at him in surprise and I couldn’t stop my smile. “Are you psychic?”
“No.”
“Then, by all means, guess away.” I took another sip of my beer while I waited for him to analyze my life. And as he scrunched up his forehead and concentrated on what he would say, I watched the way his eyes lit up. And the way he pushed the dark hair out of his face. And the sharp lines of his jaw and how they contrasted so nicely with his sexy smile. I did my best not to think about my attraction to him, knowing he’d be able to tell. But as he tapped his chin and put on a show, I let some of those feelings slip out. I couldn’t help it.
“You ran off with the bad boy in town just to spite your parents.”
I almost spit out my beer with my laugh. “Go on.”
“You didn’t know about shifters until you met the panther, and then…” his voice trailed off in thought.
“And then what?”
“And then you stuck around because you couldn’t go back to your regular life after being around the panthers.”
I huffed my response.
“Am I right?” Marcus asked.
With a shrug, I studied his face again. “You’re close.”
“Give me the tagline version then.”
I had to think a moment before finally saying. “A young girl drops out of college and runs away with a boy, only to find out that darkness chases them both.”
Marcus took a swig of his beer and shook his head. “Wow. Good one.”
“Your turn.”
“What?”
“Give me the tagline of your life.”
He hesitated and I didn’t think he was going to answer. In fact, I was ready to change the subject when he cleared his throat and said, “A coyote alpha with a destiny finds it hard to balance it all.”
“What are you trying to balance?” I asked softly.
Marcus glanced at the wall of photos. “My daughter for one. She recently left the pack.”
“Oh,” I whispered, having a vague understanding of pack politics, and knowing this was a big deal.
“And this douchebag coyote who thinks he should be alpha.”
“In the Nenana pack?”
He nodded. “Yep, one of the members I have control over.”
“So why not just beat him into submission?” I’d seen the panthers do that numerous times. If one cat acted out against a ranking member, there was always hell to pay.
Marcus let out an unamused chuckle. “Coyotes are different than panthers.”
Yes, I can see that, I thought. “Does that have anything to do with the woman?”
Looking surprised at my question, Marcus watched me closely again before brushing a piece of hair out of my face. “Yes. My pack needs an heir to stop Lucas from challenging me.”
“But what about your daughter?”
“She left the pack.”
“But can’t you get her back?”
“It doesn’t work that way,” Marcus sat back in his chair and sighed. “She’s made her choice.”
“Well, I don’t know if I could do that,” I whispered, fighting the lump in my throat.
“Do what?”
“Let my child go so easily.” I sucked in a breath and screamed internally at the tear that now fell down my cheek.
“What happened to your boy?”
I’d never had anyone be so direct with that question. And while I’d always thought I wouldn’t be able to answer, I now found myself wanting to talk about Brady. Wanting to tell the story of how much that boy had meant to me. Wanting to share my loss with another parent.
“He drowned. When we were on vacation.”
“I’m so sorry, Holland. I can’t even begin to imagine how you’ve survived something like that.”
“I almost didn’t,” I admitted.
“And his father?”
He didn’t have to elaborate—I knew what he was asking. “His father left me for another panther shortly after Brady was born. But the alpha wouldn’t let me leave with a shifter child, so I was stuck in their territory for years. He treated us well, the alpha, but I never felt like I belonged. And then when Brady died…,” I had to swallow that lump again. “When Brady died, I finally left them all. I had no connection to them anymore.”
Marcus watched as I struggled to hold back the sobs. It felt so freeing to talk to someone who wouldn’t judge, yet it was still so hard to speak of Brady and scratch open that giant hole in my gut. I wiped at my eyes and drank the final swig of beer before standing. It didn’t slip past me that I was feeling a little dizzy and I reached for the countertop to steady myself. But Marcus wrapped me up in his arms faster than I could move.
His broad, wide chest took me in—the scent of the outdoors wafting off him like a warm embrace. The tight arms and taught back muscles soothed me in more ways than one. I was safe and secure and…comfortable. And before I knew it, I was crying in his arms.
“Shh,” he whispered while he stroked my hair.
I should have been embarrassed. I should have excused myself and left. But I simply couldn’t pull myself away from this shifter who had found a way to let me just be me around him.
We stood, wrapped in each other’s arms, for minutes. And when my tears finally stopped, he held me back at arm’s length, looked down at me, and gave me a gorgeous smile. “It’s been a long day.”
I huffed my laugh and nodded. “It has.”
“Where are you staying?” he asked.
My stomach twisted with regret the instant I realized he was in the process of getting rid of me. That sense of rejection squeezed my heart and tried to rip the tears free again. “I…I planned on camping in my truck while I was here.”
I didn’t know what I expected him to say, but the next words out of his mouth had me stunned. “No, you’re going to stay here tonight.”
“In Nenana?” With coyotes?
“In my house.”
“Oh,” I breathed, the possibilities, both good and bad, swarming through my mind.
He stepped away from me, placed our beer bottles on the counter, and gestured for me to follow him upstairs. I did, not fully understanding why. We stopped in front of the first door on the left but the instant Marcus opened the door, he swore under his breath. I stole a peek over his shoulders and noticed the mess in the room. “Was this your daughter’s?”
His shoulders tensed when he nodded. “Yes. And it would appear Mariah forgot how to put things away.” With a sigh, he turned to me. “I’m sorry. I was going to give you her bed, but…” Jerking his chin back into the room, I followed his gaze and saw the shredded mattress lying in the corner.
“Oh,” I said, wondering why she would have destroyed her mattress before moving out. “I can sleep on the couch.”
I’d barely gotten the words out when I saw Marcus leaning forward. His lips were moist and coming in fast. My heart stuttered at the thought of him kissing me, so when he pressed his lips against mine, I instantly melted into his caress. Experienced movements and a wicked tongue danced across mine. I suddenly forgot about my broken fingers and Elijah’s phone call, and instead simply focused on the man kissing me. One of his hands grabbed the back of my neck while the other pulled me closer to him. The giant bulge in the front of his jeans pushed against my stomach and helped encourage me to deepen the kiss. And holy hell, did this coyote alpha know how to kiss. Maybe it was because it had been so many years since I’d been with someone, or maybe it was simply him. The man in control of a whole town, the man fighting to keep his place in the pack. And the father who was suffering and could relate to my struggles even if they weren’t the same.
I didn’t want the kiss to end, but when Marcus pulled away, I could see he felt the same way. “I’m so sorry,” he breathed. “I just…I just had to kiss you.”
“No need to apologize,” I whispered. You can kiss me like that anytime.
“Are you ready for bed?” he asked, still holding me close.
“I am.” And I was—until I thought about what bed I might be sleeping in. While I had certainly enjoyed our little make-out session, I wasn’t sure I could handle getting attached to another shifter.
But like all good animals, Marcus sensed my hesitation before I even had to say a word. “You can sleep in my bed. I promise to be a gentleman.”
I lifted up on my toes and planted a quick kiss on his lips. “Thank you,” I said, relieved that I didn’t need to say the words. And while Marcus might be an opportunity for me to get out of my dry spell, I didn’t think it would be a good idea for me to start tonight. Not when I still have several months of research ahead of me and I would need to be a part of this community in some capacity or another.
As we climbed into bed, and Marcus snuggled in behind me in just a pair of sweats, I thought about how nice it might be to stay here a little longer. And by the time Marcus’ breathing slowed to a steady rhythm, I was already thinking about a plan that could extend my visit.