Ella

The black door has long closed but not the one to my heart.

With every smile and every innocent gaze as I tell him more about my world, he nudges it open bit by bit.

It makes me wonder if I’m starting to lose my mind.

It can’t be normal to fall for someone in a place like this, let alone for the son of your captor.

But when I look at him and see the primal, animalistic man as he works out on the bars, all I feel is warmth. Comfort. The only bit of light in this cell.

And I think Syrena’s noticed it too.

She keeps raising her brows at me, giggling to herself. I know she can tell. She only needed to hear the sounds I made in that room. That, and our complete and utter silence about the whole issue.

I can’t even discuss what I did. Not to him. Not to her. Not to anyone, including myself.

It’s too shameful ... even when I don’t want it to be.

Because who’d offer themselves up like that?

No one. Except me, of course. And I keep telling myself I did it for Syrena even though that’s not the entire truth. It’s the only way I can stay sane in this place.

“So are we going to discuss this … thing?” Syrena suddenly says.

I already cringe at the thought of her listening to the sounds I made in that room while Cage was licking me. Just thinking about it makes my heart do a backflip again.

“Thing?” Cage growls.

“Yeah. You two hooking up. That thing.”

He just makes a face and returns to doing his push-ups, just as he always does when he doesn’t want to discuss something. We’ve got more in common than I thought.

“I did it … t-to s-stop Graham …” I say to the best of my ability. “From t-taking you.”

It’s my way of talking things right. That, and I don’t want her to have to go through all that pain again because of me. If I have to fuck Cage to prevent it, then so be it.

“For me?” She snorts. “Thanks, but you didn’t have to.”

“His will is law …” Cage says, narrowing his eyes at her.

“So? Doesn’t mean we have to listen.” She leans back on her bed. “I don’t care what he says or wants; I’d rather die than play by his rules. I’m not going to be some easy captive. No way.”

I love her tenacity. How, in the face of death, she still maintains her resistance. That’s real power. No one can bend her, no matter how hard they try.

It’s the kind of resolve I’m jealous of.

I wish I was that strong, but my weakness is seeing other people in trouble and being the cause of that trouble. I learned that a long time ago.

I stare at Cage as he keeps doing push-ups until beads of sweat roll down his body. His eyes constantly switch from the floor to me and back again as if he enjoys me watching. To me, it’s entertaining. The only thing I can do in this place is communicate with people.

I feel like a caged pet.

Something to play with.

I’m specifically here for him, but even after knowing why, I still don’t fully understand it.

Why was I selected over all the other possible girls? And since I’m sort of selectively mute and Syrena blind, does that mean Graham has a thing for disabled people? Or are we just easy targets?

So I open my mouth and let the words roll out, hoping Cage might have the answer. “Why me?”

He frowns and stops pushing himself up.

“Why did Graham take me?”

He answers with a guttural voice. “Because I wanted you.”

His admission makes me shiver, and I can’t help but glare in disbelief.

Even Syrena sits up straight in bed.

“You chose me?” I exclaim. His nod confirms my suspicions. “So it was you.”

I don’t know why I feel the way I do, but it’s as if he just rammed a knife into my back, and I helped him shove it in farther. I should’ve known this. It all makes sense, yet I refused to even think about it because I didn’t want him to break that magical version of him I’d created in my head.

Stupid. So stupid.

“No regret,” he adds, licking his lips. “I liked you …”

“Why?” I ask. “How?”

“Pictures.” He points at the drawings I made on the toilet paper that I tucked underneath my bed, and it makes me want to tear them all up.

“I wanted you …” he adds, the left side of his lip quirking up into a smile. “Pretty.”

“I’m not a doll!” I feel like I’m boiling on the inside.

He grimaces, clearly upset as his head hangs low.

He should feel ashamed. It’s his fault that I’m in here.

Out of all the girls he could’ve picked, he chose me. That is not a compliment even though he seems to think it is.

“I don’t care if I’m pretty. You had no right.”

“But …” He places his hand on the glass, hoping I might place mine on as well, but I walk as far away from him as I possibly can.

“You could’ve chosen anyone, but you picked me.”

“I … like … you,” he says softly even when his voice still sounds like that of a grizzly bear.

“If you liked me, you wouldn’t have condemned me to a place like this! You don’t do this to someone you like. You don’t get to pick them and trap them like … like …”

Tears spring into my eyes. I can feel my throat clamping up again, so I clutch it and sit down on the bed.

Every time I look at him, all I see is that he’s the sole reason I’m in here. And I hate myself for feeling so guilty for ever even letting him into my heart. For letting him take what he wanted. For me …wanting him too.

He took my freedom away from me.

How could I ever look at him the same again?

* * *

The next day, Graham storms into the room. “Why the fuck didn’t you two have sex?”

I almost tumble over my own feet; that’s how fast I’m trying to get up from the bed so I can get as far away from the glass as possible. As far away from him as I can.

He paces along the cages, gazing at us with an infuriated look. “Hmm? Got an explanation for me?”

“Sex. In the room,” Cage says.

“Yes,” Graham barks. “You were supposed to fuck her hole, remember?”

I don’t understand. Why is he so mad? Cage got what he wanted, right? Wasn’t I just a reward to him for winning the fight?

“We fucked,” Cage says.

“You let her suck your dick,” Graham growls, banging the cage and scaring everyone. “I told you to ram your dick inside her; I didn’t mean her fucking mouth.”

There’s only one way he can know that … and that is by watching us. So there’s a camera in the bedroom.

Shit.

How often does he watch? And how long?

Just thinking about it makes my skin crawl.

Cage doesn’t respond. All he does is stare stoically.

“Calm down,” Syrena says.

“Don’t tell me what the fuck to do!” Graham spits at her, making her take a step back. Then he walks back to Cage. “And you … do what I fucking told you to do.”

Cage sighs.

“What was that?” Graham says, holding his ear up to the glass.

“Yes, sir,” Cage mutters, clearly not impressed.

Graham nods. “You’d better remember your place.”

He turns and walks straight to my cage. I don’t want him anywhere near me, but that’s just the thing … I’m not in control. And that’s what this is all about. Control. He wants it, yet Cage and I took it away from him by deciding to do it differently than he had in mind.

“You think you’re so clever, don’t you?” he says, cocking his head as he points at me through the glass. “You think you can avoid my rules forever?”

I shake my head, but when I part my lips, just a tiny squeak comes out.

He chuckles, but it quickly turns into fully fledged laughter. “Not anymore. If you won’t do what I say, I’ll have to make you.” The creepy smile on his face makes a chill run down my spine.

Then he turns and storms out again, slamming the door shut.

I shiver again, wondering what his threat meant. What he’s planning … it can’t be good.

I sit down on the bed again, feeling nauseous.

“Guys? You gotta step it up, man,” Syrena says. “If y’all wanna avoid getting caught in his rage. All I’m saying is … make him happy, and he might give you what you want too.”

“Freedom,” I say, looking at Cage as I say it even though I’m replying to Syrena. “N-no one can g-give me that … except me.”

* * *

I wake up in the middle of the night when a foul stench enters my lungs. When I open my eyes, my vision is blurry, but I can definitely make out the gas pouring into my room.

Shit.

He’s turned on the valves again.

I don’t want him to take me, so I immediately roll out of bed with my blanket and stand on my bed, stuffing the blanket into the vents letting all the smoke in. But it’s too late. The smoke’s already in the room, and I’m coughing and heaving. Worse, my legs are shaking, and I feel weak. Not soon after, I collapse onto the bed, unable to keep the blanket against the pipe. The smoke now freely flows into the room, pulling me with it into the darkness.

I don’t know how much time has passed since Graham drugged me, but a roaring headache pulls me back into the here and now. I try to rub my temple, but I can’t. My hands are stuck.

That’s when I realize … They’re tied to something.

And I’m lying on it.

I try to open my eyes, but everything’s still blurry.

That’s when I hear his voice.

“Relax, Ella. You’ll need to learn how to use that body of yours.”

I look around me, and despite not seeing much, I clearly recognize the room. We’re in the bedroom, but the bed is gone, pushed into the wall behind it. I’m there, on the spot it’s supposed to be, but I’m strapped to a contraption.

I jerk the shackles around my wrists, but they’re tight and bolted into the wood below me. Even my feet are shackled, and there’s nothing I can do but wait. As my vision slowly returns to me, I realize I’m on a device … a sawhorse.