Shawn
I swear I’m not going crazy, even though my tutor would rather me believe that I have lost my mind.
Maybe I’m a little crazy. But I cannot shake the feeling that we know each other from more than the tutoring center. When we touched earlier, I felt a spark that danced along my skin. It was electric, an instant connection to Ella I recognized as if we’d already met.
Her name doesn’t sound the least bit familiar, but her eyes are what drew me in. She has the kind of eyes you don’t forget and a smile so kind and hopeful that being around her puts me at ease. While she’s different than most of the girls who run in my circles, I like being around Ella.
She doesn’t stare at me with judgmental eyes. She doesn’t want anything from me or expect me to make her feel important. Nope, this girl wants to help me. And I wish I could figure out a way to help her. I can see right through her shield. I wear the same mask for the world to see, all while hiding how I feel on the inside.
There must be a reason I have searched this long and hard for my mystery girl. I want to believe there’s a purpose to this madness and that the time was not a waste. One look into Ella’s denim eyes was all it took to cause my skin to prick with tiny bumps, awakening something inside me. She has to be the girl. I am almost certain.
We didn’t speak much at the party. Instead, we allowed our mouths and bodies to do the talking. For the past week, I have done nothing but study the female anatomy and traced every curve in my mind, all in hopes of finding my masked beauty. I wonder if Ella is the girl. Only one way to find out.
While Ella sifts through my unorganized notes, trying to match my assignments to the syllabus, I pull out my cell phone from my pocket to look at the picture of the masked girl. The fact I have repeated the same process around campus only reinforces my assumption that I need help. But I have to find her.
Keeping my phone in my lap under the table, I try to get a good glimpse of the girl. It’s hard to tell from this angle if Ella matches the picture. Ella is beautiful in a girl next-door kind of way, with long, blond hair that sits above her full breasts. My tutor is provoking a reaction from me that needs to quit. Semi-hard, my cock lengthens with each flick of her hair or lick of her lips.
Every breath she draws only brings more attention to her tits. Mentally tracing my way from her lips to her chest, I try to think of something else. But I can’t. Her face and body are too distracting.
Despite her similarities in appearance to the masked girl, I could not see Ella at a frat party on a Saturday night. Intellectual types like her probably do whatever it is that smart people do for entertainment. Reading would be my first guess. She’s not a degenerate like me, out partying until the sun comes up. Between Coach and my teammates, I should have my shit together, but I like the college lifestyle too much to slow down. Now, I have no choice but to get my act together.
Ella has given me a new reason to step up my game. If we have to spend time together from now until graduation, it will be hard. It will be worse if she keeps making me hard. I’m like a fourteen-year-old boy around her, unable to control my physical reaction. Good thing we’re sitting down or this would be awkward.
After she finishes taking notes and marks off pages in the Law and Ethics textbook, Ella glances up from the book and locks onto me. “By the looks of it, you’re either not studying or don’t understand the assignments. So, which one is it?”
I shrug. “Both, I guess. I don’t know. I thought I knew what Prof was looking for, but clearly, I have no clue. She keeps giving me D’s.”
“That’s because you earned them.” Her tone is almost defensive. “Have you bothered to do any of the required reading or do you just write the first thing that comes to mind?” She pauses for a second to regroup, her words brewing anger inside me. “I’m sorry. What I meant to say is—”
“Don’t bother. I get it,” I interject. “You are right. I haven’t spent any time reading the textbook or put any effort into the assignments. I should never have taken the law as a major, but now, it’s either figure out a way to pass or take another major and not graduate on time. I have NFL scouts looking at me. Working a day job was never part of my plan. Football is my end game, so I just need to do well enough to get a diploma to make my mom happy and get signed by a pro team.”
“You should give yourself more credit, Shawn.”
I love the way she says my name because it’s not often I hear it from anyone but my mother and grandmother. Even my cousins call me Finch. My last name has taken on a persona.
“I would give myself credit if I put the time into school and was still struggling. The truth is I’m failing because school just doesn’t interest me. Never has and probably never will.”
“If you know you need to study, then I don’t see why it would kill you to take an hour each day so you can pass. The only way tutoring can work for you is if you give it a chance. I can sit here all day long and tell you what you need to know, but if you don’t put in the effort, our sessions are pointless.”
I lean forward, pinning her down with one look. “Maybe I need you to help me outside of these walls.”
Ella narrows her eyes at me. “I’m not sure I follow.”
“We could be study buddies.” I sound like an idiot, but I don’t give a fuck. Ella makes me want to study more than just law. And I cannot help myself.
She seems confused. “Isn’t that what we’re doing right now?”
I shake my head. “Nope, not even close. I think I may need more than a few hours in the library with you.”
Still perplexed, she asks with a slight hesitation, “What do you have in mind?”
“My house tomorrow night. That would be a good start.”
She squirms in her seat, breaking eye contact as she scans the expanse of the room. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
I reach across the table and cover my hand over hers to catch her attention. Her eyes find mine once more, and I can feel her pulse speed up. I make her nervous, even though she’s been trying to hide it from me. She makes me nervous, too.
“I promise I won’t bite.”
She sinks her teeth into her bottom lip, causing me to think of other things I’d like to bite, lick, and suck.
“Outside of school hours is hard for me. I have family obligations. I would love to help you, believe me, I would, but I cannot do what you are asking of me. You can have me during school hours.”
Judging by the way she looks away in horror, she didn’t mean to sound so forward. Not that she even meant those words in that way. I wish I could have her while at school. I would like to get to know her better right now.
“School hours. Got it,” I say with a smile to put her at ease.
The corners of her mouth turn up. “How about we get back to your homework, so you don’t fail out of the class?” I nod, and she continues, “Do you understand how the professor structured each lecture and assignment? I want to get that out of the way first, just in case you have any concerns.”
“Each week, we’re supposed to build a case against a fictitious lawyer for potential disbarment. That’s about all I know. I don’t see the point of it all.”
Lifting the syllabus from the table, Ella holds it up to examine the cases. “This week deals with the practice of representing a new client in a matter tied to a previous client who is now deceased. I can’t tell you whether this is right or wrong because it’s up to you to decide if this practice is allowed under the American Bar Association’s Model Rules of Professional Conduct.”
“Was that in English?” I mutter, not caring that I sound like a total jackass. Nothing she said even makes any sense to me.
Ella lets out an exaggerated sigh. She must be annoyed with me, and I don’t blame her. I already hit on her, told her I have no desire to learn this crap, and then invited her to my house. What a total fucking frat move. I’m an idiot, an asshole, and one who is lucky to have a girl like Ella helping me graduate on time.
Focus, I tell myself, repeating the word in my head. If I follow her lead, I can pass this class and move on with my life and more important things than Law and Ethics.
“I’m not going to give you the answer, Shawn, but I will tell you that you should look up informed consent for the deceased client because the attorney-client privilege applies to death.” She holds my gaze for a few seconds, and then adds, “Don’t look so disappointed. I gave you more than enough to get you started. You’ll have to trust me and do some of the work on your own.”
“I trust you,” I stammer.
“Good. Trust is important if we’re going to work together.”
I flash a grin in her direction. “Looking forward to it.”
With that, she dives head first into the legal jargon on the page in front of her, killing my boner with a few words.
Nothing is less interesting or sexy than the attorney-client privilege. Somehow, Ella makes learning fun, or at least less boring.
* * *
After I grab a sandwich in the cafeteria, I head over to the table by the window where my teammates meet most nights for dinner. I join them when our schedules align. Between my fraternity brothers and the team, I’m constantly running in two different directions. I do my best to split my time between them, so no one is offended when I have to choose the other.
“About time you showed up,” Bash says with a smirk. “Were you out looking for your mystery girl again?” He laughs, which gets the rest of the guys at the table going.
“Laugh it up, assholes.” I set my tray down on the other side of the table from Bash and Tori and take my usual seat next to Clay and his girlfriend, Jessica. “Just wait until I find her. Then, we’ll see who’s laughing.”
“Ignore them,” Tori says, digging her elbow into Bash’s arm. “They are idiots.” She leans forward and locks eyes with me. “I hope you find her, Finch. When you do, I hope she’s worth every bit of the hassle you put yourself through.”
I flash a closed mouth smile. “Thanks, Tori. I hope so, too.”
Of all the girls Bash has brought around, Tori is by far my favorite. Like me, she’s not one of the spoiled brats who came to Strickland University with a hefty trust fund. I like that she’s a scholarship kid. We don’t have buildings named after our families or even have enough money to afford a single class without some form of assistance.
“Why did Coach call you into his office?” Clay asks between bites of chicken.
“To tell me about the classes I’m failing already and that he assigned me a tutor.” I unwrap my sandwich, keeping my eyes low and focused on eating. I’m fucking starving. I had no time to eat after football practice since I had to show up for tutoring right after.
“Dude, not again,” Bash grunts. “You need to get your shit together.”
“Tell me something I don’t already know,” I quip.
At the end of the table, some of the girls from Kappa are huddled up together, picking at their salads and sucking down yogurt drinks. I’m supposed to eat healthier. Instead, I grabbed a greasy sandwich that has far more calories than I should be eating today, and I don’t give a fuck. I’m waiting for Bash to give his usual team captain pep talk about following Coach’s orders.
Bash shakes his head, disappointed. “You are always fucking off. If you didn’t live in a frat house, you would be more focused. Less drinking and more studying.”
“Like your house is any better,” I spit back, annoyed. “You guys party almost as much as my brothers.”
“But we have priorities,” Bash counters. “None of us are failing our classes, we show up to practice on time, and we don’t have to do extra drills to make up for slacking off.”
“Well, we all can’t be perfect like Sebastian Prince.” The words burn on my tongue.
“Both of you need to stop it.” Tori interrupts our argument.
I let out an exaggerated sigh and attempt to keep my tone at a reasonable level. “We’re done.”
“I’m only looking out for you, Finch,” Bash shoots back.
Tori gets up from the table and walks over to the trash can in the center of the cafeteria. She dumps her tray, her eyes widening in shock. I have no idea what has her so excited until she cups her hands around her mouth to yell, “Hey, Ella! Over here!”
The name alone causes me to scan the crowded room. At first, I assume there is no way Tori and Ella are friends until I see Ella raise her hand to wave to Tori.
No fucking way.
Then, it occurs to me that Tori had wanted to fix me up with someone named Ella the night of the party. That must be why I thought there was something familiar about Ella when she’d told me her name.
Tori meets Ella in the center of the room, sipping soda through the straw. She adjusts the messenger bag on her shoulder and hugs Tori. They embrace each other as if they are old friends, though I have never seen them together.
Ella looks so much like my mystery girl. After spending hours with Ella, I would know if she was the girl. But I have zero proof. Maybe I should ask her and get it out of the way. But that would only draw more attention to the fact that I have lost my fucking mind.
Tori comes back to our table with Ella at her side, who looks as though she wants to either puke or flee and still has yet to decide.
Ella is not the kind of girl who would run in our circles. Nope, Ella is more like Tori, which makes sense why they would be friends. But I also like that about Ella. I can talk to her and be myself. Just like I can with Tori. My teammates and brothers are always judging me, measuring me by their impossible standards. It’s nice to be around people who let me be Shawn instead of Finch.
“Bash, I want you to meet my friend,” Tori says, tapping him on the shoulder.
He glances over his shoulder at Ella and smiles, before turning all the way around to extend his hand. “Bash,” he says, always polite and well mannered.
Ella introduces herself to Bash. The corners of her mouth turn up, and her entire face illuminates when she looks across the table and sees me. “Shawn,” she says, her voice almost a whisper.
So shy and adorable, Ella raises her hand and quickly lowers it to her side, still maintaining eye contact with me.
Bash turns to face me and then Ella again, confused. “How do you guys know each other?”
“Ella and I have classes together,” Tori interjects.
“She’s my tutor,” I add.
“Nice to meet you, Ella.” Bash gives her another one of his boyish smiles that make girls melt. “Make some room.” Bash pushes his hands out at his sides.
“Oh, that’s not necessary,” Ella says, her tone almost a whisper.
I slide my chair out from the table and get up to retrieve another chair from the table behind us. Shoving it next to mine, I force the people to my left to move down. “Here, sit next to me.”
“No, that’s okay, Shawn.” Ella does a weird nervous dance thing as if tapping her foot to keep herself from trembling. “I should get going. I only came up here to grab a soda for the ride home.”
I lower my head toward the chair. “C’mon, stay for ten minutes. I’ll even share my food with you.”
Ella tilts her head to the side and grins. “Well, I guess I can stay for a little bit, but it depends on what you plan to feed me.”
She’s so fucking sexy without even trying that I’m getting hard again just thinking about Ella in every inappropriate way possible.
After Ella sits down, I break my sandwich in half to share. I eat mine on a napkin and give her the foil sheet.
“So, you two know each other.” Tori narrows her eyes at me. This is weird.”
“It’s not that weird.” I sink my teeth into the chicken cutlet and wait for Tori to explain.
“I was telling Ella all about your masked girl from the party. I had no idea you guys knew each other.”
“You did what?” My cheeks flush with embarrassment. I don’t say another word, only shake my head and continue chowing down on my food.
It’s bad enough that my friends know about my search, but having my hot tutor learn more about my recent extracurricular activities is another thing.
“We don’t,” Ella says. “Well, we didn’t know each other until this afternoon when I was assigned to tutor Shawn.”
“Aww…” Tori raises her hand over her heart. “You call him Shawn. How cute?”
“Simmer down, babe.” Bash plants a kiss on Tori’s cheek and pulls her into his chest. “Stop trying to fix everyone up on a date and just let them eat.”
“I am not, smart ass.” Tori wiggles free from Bash’s grasp and then zones in on Ella and me. “You two are so cute together, though. Seriously.”
“I’m just his tutor,” Ella says, her voice so low it’s hard to hear her over the people talking around us.
“You guys are sharing food. I would say you are more than just his tutor. And you call him Shawn.” Tori holds her hands up to her face again and squeals. “I love you two together. This is so exciting.”
“Don’t get too excited,” Ella lowers her eyes to the table.
She hates this conversation as much as I do. I could use an escape right about now, and judging by the uncomfortable silence that surrounds us, with all eyes trained on Ella and me, it is probably best if we get the hell out of here.
I touch Ella’s arm and her skin pricks with tiny bumps, her body so responsive to mine. “Do you need a ride home?”
She shakes her head and wipes her mouth with a napkin, still chewing her food. “No, I’m good. I can take the bus.”
“You’re not taking the bus,” I growl against the shell of her ear. “Let me take you home.”
She stills at my side, but I can feel her pulse pounding when I clutch her wrist. I make her nervous, and for some reason, she has the same effect on me. I don’t understand how I can be so at ease yet so on edge around a girl who speaks so few words. She’s the type of person who only talks when it serves a purpose and not for the sake of saying something.
Ella’s breath catches in her throat. Her chest rises and falls as she sucks in air, drawing my attention to her chest. My thoughts wander off course, and I start to imagine what she would look like without a shirt. A little bit of her cleavage shows from the top of the blue V-neck top, the material tight against her curvy body. I cannot stop staring even though I know I should stop myself.
“I can’t…” Her voice trails off.
“You can,” I tell her, “and you will. I don’t want you to travel alone when I can take you.”
The sparks between us generate enough heat that a fire ignites within just from touching her delicate skin. Every inch of my body craved the next kiss with the masked girl. I was like a ravenous beast and unable to stop myself from exploring every inch of her body. She had sunk so far beneath my skin that I could not shake her, and with Ella, the same passion, laced with a lot of sexual tension, settles deep in my bones.
She turns her head so that our eyes meet. “It was you,” I mutter the words so fast I can’t stop myself from speaking them aloud. “You are the girl from the party.”
Before Ella can answer, Tori interrupts our conversation. “You think Ella is the masked girl?”
“Oh, now this is getting interesting,” Clay adds, breaking his long silence. He must be fighting with Jessica again to be this distant.
The mention of the girl from the party has caught the attention of those around us. Everyone at the table stares at Ella as if she’s a specimen under a microscope. Throughout our tutoring session, I had analyzed every feature, the sound of her voice, even the way she moves her hands when she speaks. Of course, I memorized every curve of her beautiful face and body. I feel that connection with Ella, though I am not one hundred percent convinced that she is the one.
Plus, Ella is not the center of attention type. The girl I kissed had stolen the show. She wanted people to notice her. Otherwise, why would she have worn such an elaborate gown to a frat house, of all places?
Ella pops the last piece of the chicken sandwich into her mouth and looks at me while she chews. She makes it impossible to sit this close when all I can think about is kissing her.
“Are you ready?”
She bites down on her bottom lip as if mulling over my offer. It was more of a demand than a request. I don’t want her to ride alone on the bus at night. The city can be brutal, especially for a sweet girl like Ella.
“Yeah, my bus will be here in ten minutes.” Ella stands and slings a bag over her shoulder. “You can walk me to my stop, but I am not letting you take me home.”
We’ll see about that.