Dougray cursed his fellow sex under his breath. Men were such ridiculous creatures. How could men overlook such a beauty just because of her height?

She’s not too tall for you.

He felt her pain. Knew what it must have taken for her to ask this of him. She had to let go of her pride and her common sense.

His emotions were rising like a gale-force storm and he hated the destruction these feelings might cause. A part of him wanted to give her what she had asked for, but that’s what stopped him. He did desire this woman in his arms. He could not deny his body’s stirrings, so much so he needed to put her at arm’s length or soon she would learn exactly how much he desired her.

However, he should not be so eager to agree to her request. Emotions led to pain.

He gently set Emma away from him. When she looked at him he wanted to say, yes, it would be such an honor, but he couldn’t get the words out.

Only yesterday he’d told Francesca he had to remarry because he wanted a son. Having an affair with Lady Emma was purely about pleasure and his gut clenched with guilt at wanting her.

Guilt and fear.

“I will have to think about this. There is a lot for me to consider.”

Her head dropped and she turned away from him.

“It is not because I don’t find you desirable. I do.” Emma was the first woman he’d wanted since Francesca. “But this isn’t just about you and me. And I, too, think of you as a friend, and it would change our relationship forever. We wouldn’t be able to turn back the clock and forget this happened.”

“I won’t ask you again, but I will wait for an answer. I won’t wait for long though.” She swung back to him, her chin lifted. “My stay here is probably the only opportunity I’ll have to enact my plan without creating a scandal. If not you, perhaps one of your other guests—”

“Like hell.”

“I’m a grown woman who knows what she wants. I want it to be you but if you say no, I won’t change my plan.” She turned and began to walk to her horse.

“I’ll tell Thornton.”

She halted with her back to him, and he wanted to hit himself when he saw her shoulders hunch in defeat. She did not even look at him. She merely said, “I thought you would understand.”

“Understand what?”

“What it is like to be truly alone. To not have the one you love.”

A rage roared through him like a wildfire. How dare she bring up Francesca’s death?

She turned to face him, tears in her eyes. “I can’t have the man I love either. He might not be dead, but I know what loss is, just like you do. All I’m asking for is a moment. A taste of intimacy that I can use to imagine what my life could have been like. I did not expect that you, of all people, would deny me a moment of happiness.”

And just like that she’d doused the flames of rage. This morning while she played the piano he’d thought a man had hurt her. He wished he could avenge her. She did not deserve to be hurt so. He also did not want to think of her missing out on part of life’s special experiences.

“I’m sorry.”

She challenged him. “Sorry for threatening to tell Thornton, or sorry that you cannot help me?”

He walked over and offered her help to remount. “Sorry that I did not understand the reasons behind your request. If I had the power to make this man love you I would move heaven and earth to do so.”

“Thank you.”

As he swung onto Zeus’s back he said to her, “I will seriously consider your request tonight, and let you know my answer tomorrow. However, I hope that whatever answer I give, you will still consider me a friend.”

A shadow crossed her features before she sighed and said, “Of course.” Then a smile broke on her lips that took his breath away. “I’ll race you back to the lodge,” and just like that she was gone, riding like the wind.

He couldn’t help but smile. She thought she might win. He’d wait a few moments and let her think she would win. A part of him already knew the answer he would give her tomorrow.

He wanted her.

He wanted to, how did she put it, share intimacy with someone special, and there was no doubt in his mind that Lady Emma was very special indeed.

And it frightened him senseless.

If he had sense he’d send her home today.

On that thought he pressed Zeus into a gallop and chased after the one woman whom he should run a mile from but who, for some reason, drew him like a starving man to a table laden with food.

She was a feast for his senses. Senses that had been dormant for far too long.

On that thought, once again Francesca’s smiling face flashed in his head. But her image was blurry.

It pained him that over the years her features had become less clear. He could never quite remember the shape of her nose. He was losing her all over again and reliving his pain each time.

That’s why he’d hesitated to agree to Emma’s request. She made him feel.

He did not want to feel again. That’s why he’d picked Fiona Mackenzie.

The pain of loss—it was why Emma asked for an affair. She knew what loss felt like, too. To fall in love, to give all of yourself to someone, and then to lose them—nothing caused more agony. He could not, would not, let himself fall in love again.

He overtook her just as they reached the drive, because he couldn’t be nice and let her win. If he agreed to her request to teach her about passion, he had to keep himself coolly detached. Something inside him warned him that Emma could penetrate the fortress he guarded around his heart.

And he’d never let that happen.

As he came to a halt in the stable yard, Angus sauntered out to greet him with a smug smile upon his face.

“I thought you’d wait for me, but I see you have more enticing company.” Angus looked up at the sky. “And back just in time.”

At Angus’s words the rain began to fall. Emma rambled into the stable yard just as the heavens opened. Rain poured down and Dougray dismounted and hurried to help her from Curlin.

“Inside with you, Angus and I can take care of the horses.”

She didn’t need to be told again, and hurried toward the steps. As he watched her go, he wondered why he wasn’t feeling trapped. Why hadn’t he simply said no? Instead, he would give Emma’s request consideration.

“She’s a very bonnie lass.” Angus said in his ear as they stood in the pouring rain. “Englishmen are daft creatures. If she’d been born in Scotland she’d have been married by now. Aye, snatched up and with a couple of strapping little boys.”

He knew what his friend was doing. “I’m marrying Fiona Mackenzie.” Before Angus could say anything Dougray turned and walked the horses into the stable and handed the reins to the groom.

When he reentered the stable yard Angus was still standing in the rain.

“Lady Emma could make you happy. I’ve never known you to take a lady riding.”

“Emma is a family friend, I’ve known her and Thornton for years. Do not read more into it.”

Angus fell in beside him as the men made their way to the house.

“Friendship is a good basis for marriage. Perhaps that is why Thornton allowed her to attend. He, too, sees a good match.”

Temper got the better of him. He rounded on his friend. “Why are you pushing this? What does it matter to you if I marry Fiona or Emma? Stop interfering in my life and get one of your own.”

With that he stormed off to the house to get out of his wet clothes and into a hot bath. He had a few hours before the rest of the guests would begin to arrive, and he had thinking to do.

Embarking on an affair with Emma was dangerous because God damn it, Angus was right. She was a woman any man would be lucky to fall in love with.

And love was the last thing Dougray wanted in his life.

He sat on the edge of the chair in his room, dripping water everywhere while pulling off his boots, and listed all the reasons why he should gently and compassionately turn Emma down. He had one boot off with one to go when he heard that terrible screeching singing coming from the suite next to his. No it could not be . . . She would not dare.

He stormed through the connecting door, through Francesca’s old dressing room and into the room that had been kept empty for over six years. The room was a reminder to him of the pain that love could bring, a reminder to never let anyone get that close again.

But when he stormed into the room he stopped as if he’d hit an invisible stone wall. The boot in his hand fell to the floor and he stood trapped by the beauty of the woman before him.

It was as if time stood still. Emma stood naked, water sluicing down her body in the middle of a bathtub placed by the fire. He should look away but he couldn’t. She was like a Greek goddess come to life.

Her face flushed a bright red and she quickly leaned over to grab a towel.

He finally found his voice. “What are you doing in this room?”

A look of confusion passed over her face. “This was the room I was given by Mrs. Jones.”

She lied. Mrs. Jones knew never to put anyone in this room. “No. She knows no one is to be in here.”

Emma slapped her forehead and cursed. “Mr. McGregor showed me to the room.”

That made sense. Bloody Angus. He’d kill him.

Emma looked at him with pity. “I’m sorry if I have upset you. I can ask Mrs. Jones to move my things immediately.”

He stood looking at her as she modestly held the small towel in front of her. He was overreacting. If he married Fiona she would have this suite of rooms. It was merely the idea of Emma being in the mistress of the house’s bedchamber that unsettled him.

He kept staring, his body flaring to life as he watched the now wet towel fit her body like a second skin. It molded to her breasts, which sat high and firm on her chest, her nipples hard and prominent. The towel showed off the flare of her hips from her tiny waist and oh, my God, her legs. They were long and firm and he could almost feel them wrapped around his hips as he drove into her tight welcoming heat.

Arousal hit hard and fast, taking his breath away. Never had he wanted a woman as much as he wanted the one standing in front of him.

He swung away from the intoxicating sight before he did something he might regret. “I’m sorry for the intrusion. There is no need to vacate the room. I just hadn’t realized you’d been given this suite.” Last night he’d been too drunk to notice. With that he began to leave the room back the way he came.

“You have forgotten your boot.”

Now his face turned red. He could feel the heat slip along his cheekbones. He had to turn back and try not to look. He almost accomplished that until as he picked up the muddy boot he allowed his eyes to travel up those long, enticing legs, lingering a tad too long at the heart of her womanhood, and then up to those pert breasts and, worse still, her cheeky smile.

She understood the effect she was having on him and if he didn’t retreat this very instant she’d spy the evidence of his arousal. He grabbed for the boot and escaped back to his room.

Christ. He’d never sleep tonight knowing she was so close. And the request she’d made of him . . . It would be so easy to start her introduction to passion tonight.

Remember where your unbridled passion led last time. His lust had led to a woman who’d stolen his heart then broke it with her death.

He threw the boot in the corner of his room and tried to get his aroused body under control. He paced the room. If he could find Angus he’d strangle him. Angus had deliberately given Emma his wife’s old room. He really could not understand why Angus was so against his marriage to Fiona. How could he make his cousin understand he did not want to find a woman he could care for, or love? What if he fell in love again and he lost again. He’d not survive that. He wanted children and he knew women sometimes died in childbirth. Or what if she caught a dreadful lung disease, or was thrown from a horse, or drowned like Francesca?

He sank onto his bed and coldness swept over him. He would have to say no to Emma. Teaching her about passion would be very easy. She was a very desirable woman. But because he already knew her, liked her, an increased intimacy would likely deepen his feelings for her.

A cold dread seeped into his bones. What if he got her with child? He would have to wait to offer for Fiona until he was sure, and that would delay his plans.

He imagined the strapping lad Emma could deliver him and a need hit him so strong he was shaking. Goddamn he would wait one more month.

Christ, already his plans were unraveling. Ian Mackenzie was a proud man but Dougray had tried to offer him assistance. The man would have none of it. He’d promised his father that he would find a way help save Ian’s lands and he was running out of ideas and time.

Why did Emma have to come just now? Just as he was thinking of children, family . . . His three younger sisters were married with families of their own. He had no one. How could a man be about to have a house full of guests but feel so utterly alone?

Because you push everyone away. Coward. His father had taught him that he had to be strong to keep his clan and family together and to survive in this ever-changing world.

After Francesca’s death he’d drowned himself in whisky for months until his father’s illness made him pull his head out of his arse. He had responsibilities. Through his pain he’d thrown himself into work.

It was playing with his nieces and nephews that finally made him understand he wanted a child of his own. And that’s when he’d thought of the plan to honor his vow to his father and to find a mother of his children. Fiona Mackenzie was his answer. A woman who needed a good marriage, and a woman who he’d never come to love.

Just then his valet, Dickens, arrived with another tub and set it by the fire. The servants filled it with hot, steaming water and twenty minutes later when he sank into the warm depths, his member hardened remembering the vision he’d seen in the other room.

For the first time in six years he pleasured himself with the image of a different woman in his head. Funnily enough, he did not feel guilty. It was as if Francesca let him be, knowing he deserved to move on.

* * *

A few hours later Emma entered the drawing room pleased to see Serena had arrived. She really liked the young widow and thought she deserved happiness. Serena’s husband had died from a canker three years ago, and Emma hoped Thornton was not playing with her feelings.

One look at her brother and any doubts she had died. He was looking at Serena with such love it caused a lump in Emma’s throat.

“Emma,” Serena cried as she jumped up to greet her. “You look lovely tonight. The Scottish air is already agreeing with you.” She lowered her voice, “I heard about your ride today.”

She’d confided her plan to Serena and, all credit to the woman, Serena had not told Thornton. They both needed a bit of happiness in their lives. Serena had loved her husband and she’d mourned him for two years until Thornton put the light back in her eyes. Emma returned Serena’s embrace and took a seat next to her.

Thornton was deep in conversation with Angus and there was no sign of their host.

Serena whispered in her ear, “Have you asked him yet.” She nodded and Serena squeezed her hand. “Well, what did he say?”

“He was horrified at first but he has agreed to think on it.”

Serena’s smile died. “Oh, that is not good. A man thinking is always a worry.”

So she told Serena about him walking in on her naked this evening, and that he had become aroused.

Serena fanned her face. “Oh, he won’t be thinking now. Well, not with his brain.”

The two of them laughed.

“I just wish I had more time. The other guests will be arriving over the next few days and I won’t have his undivided attention.”

Serena patted her hand and winked. “You’ve not heard? The storm near Glasgow has washed out the Bridge at Orchy making the roads impassable. The other guests can’t get through for at least a week, if at all.”

“How convenient for me.” As she looked up, Dougray entered the room and she could not help but stare with lust burning in the pit of her stomach. No other man made her think such naughty thoughts.

It was not only that he was tall, it was the way he held himself. Almost regal, yet his beautiful blue eyes—hypnotizing when offset by his curling dark hair and chiseled cheekbones—promised kindness, fairness, and honesty. It was his character that set him apart from other men.

“Lady Serena, Emma, how lovely you both look this evening.”

Emma’s face heated remembering that only a few hours ago he’d seen far more than any man had ever seen.

Serena smiled and he bowed over her hand. “I thank you for inviting us to your lovely home. It is far more than a hunting lodge. It’s a castle.”

“If the weather deteriorates and we are stuck inside, feel free to explore. Be careful not to get lost, ladies.”

“How lovely, thank you. I’m sure we can all find many amusements if we are stuck inside for a few days.”

The way her friend said amusements made Dougray send a stern look in Emma’s direction. She kept her face blank of any emotion.

“Dinner will be served soon, I shall just go and talk to the other gentlemen, and leave you ladies to catch up. I’m sure you’ve heard the other guests may not be arriving for a few days due to bad weather farther south.”

He gave Emma a lingering look before walking to join Thornton and Angus. She remembered her threat. Did she think that if the others did not arrive he could turn her request down with no consequences? She followed Dougray as he walked across the room and Angus noted her gaze, giving her a wink.

Her spine straightened and she smiled warmly back. There was always Angus . . .

She made sure she sat next to Angus at dinner and spent the meal engaging him in conversation. It was not an odious task.

She managed to learn that Angus was developing a whisky business. He’d created his own blend, and he told her he had men in Edinburgh interested in setting up a distilling company and backing his skill in making the smoothest blends. He was talking with Dougray, too, but he did not have spare funds to help the business as he was trying to help a neighboring family fallen on hard times. Dougray had promised his late father that he would help them.

Angus was witty, intelligent, and wise to her game. He was not opposed to helping her make Dougray jealous. Whether it did or not she had no idea, but she did catch a few black looks from Dougray sent Angus’s way.

“I should scold you, Mr. McGregor. I quite got the end of his lordship’s temper for being in his wife’s bedchamber.”

Angus merely laughed. “He hasn’t spoken to me about it so he can’t have been that upset.”

Emma was pleased to learn that. “Perhaps he has other things on his mind.”

“I’m sure he has. I’ve never heard of him asking a lady to go riding with him in a verra long time.”

That warmed her even more. “Stop it. While I thank you for the encouragement, please promise me no more meddling.”

“Then stop flirting with me to make Dougray jealous.”

She laughed at that. “Jealous? That is not my intention. More that he is informed of choices I might have.”

Angus gave her a puzzled and worried look. “Choices?”

“Never mind. I made a request of your cousin and he is weighing his decision. I merely need to remind him that a lady has choices.”

“You asked him to marry you? That’s bold and ingenious.”

She choked on her wine. “Marry? Good God, no. He’s still in love with Francesca.”

“But that is why you are here. You need a husband.”

She wanted to slap his face. “I have no need of a husband. I have money, a home in Cornwall. A pleasant enough life.” What she needed was love. A husband only if he loved her.

Angus sat back in his chair. “This is dreadful. No. You have to make him want to marry you. You have to . . .”

“I will only marry for love, and you can’t force someone to love you.” She knew that from firsthand experience. She’d loved Dougray for ten long years and yet he’d never given her a passing thought.

“But you could try to make him love you. He’s been alone for six years. He dedicates his life to his family, to his people, but he keeps everyone at a distance. He’ll face a long and lonely life if he doesn’t find the courage to love again.”

She finally looked at Dougray. “Courage?” Dougray looked like a highland warrior of old. He wouldn’t be scared of anything.

“Aye, courage. Can you imagine the pain of losing the one person you loved most in the world?” Emma heard pain in Angus’s voice. “I can.” Did Angus mean this lady that he could not marry? “When his lordship lost Francesca he closed himself off. He won’t let himself feel. Love is wonderful. It fills your soul and lights up your world. But when it’s gone it leaves only darkness and pain. Dougray learned this well and is ensuring he never feels this pain again.”

“So it’s not his love of Francesca that is stopping him opening his heart. You’re saying it’s his fear of being hurt again.”

Angus nodded. “Oh, don’t get me wrong, he loved her deeply. But if truth be told she wasn’t the right woman for him. I think part of him knows that and he feels guilty for her death. He brought her here as his wife because he lusted after her. The only way to have her was to marry. But once back here they had very little in common.”

“Why would he feel guilt over her death? She drowned in the loch when she was thrown off her horse. It was a dreadful accident.”

Angus looked across at Dougray. “She took a horse that she had no ability to ride. She was angry because he would not go riding with her. His father was ill and Dougray suddenly found himself deep in estate business. Francesca was an attention-seeker and would often throw a tantrum if she did not get it.”

“He can’t blame himself for her decisions.”

“No. He blames himself for marrying her in the first place. Scotland is very different from Italy, and Francesca never fitted in.”

Emma took another sip of wine and studied Dougray from under partially lowered eyelids. Was Angus right? Was Dougray protecting himself from hurt? Or was he still so deeply in love with Francesca that he had no room in his heart for anyone else?

Food for thought.