Chapter Thirty-Four
Kneeling at the edge of her bed, Natalie taped down the last fold on Levi’s final Christmas gift and pushed to her feet with a tired exhale. Discarded wrapping paper scraps littered her bed and the floor around her feet along with a few mangled bows. Talk about the perfect analogy for her life. If you’d told her three days ago her picture-perfect world would end up crumbled and abandoned like the litter, she’d have never believed it.
She grabbed the trash bag already stuffed with crinkled paper and set about tidying up her room. Levi and her mother’s muffled voices barely penetrated her closed door, but the tone behind them promised they were both doing their best to put one foot in front of the other. She’d yet to tell Levi what was going on, but Maureen knew the details of what had happened between her and Trevor. Heck, she’d been the one to field at least two calls a day from Trevor since Axel had brought her home, answering questions about how Natalie was feeling and if they needed anything. Not once had he asked to speak with her.
Plopping down on the edge of the bed, she dropped the trash bag, anchored her elbows on her knees, and braced her forehead against her palms. God, she’d been such a fool. So caught up in her fears and sucked up into Wyatt’s machinations, she’d never stopped to consider there might be more to the story. She’d done exactly what Trevor had accused her of—assumed the worst, and cast him off without so much as a chance for him to explain. Countless times she’d picked up the phone to call him, to at least apologize for her knee-jerk response, but shame and embarrassment held her back. He’d been right to be angry. The last man he deserved to be compared to was Wyatt. For crying out loud, she’d mercilessly cut him off and he’d still had the decency to check on her, even if he couldn’t bear to talk to her directly.
Her mother’s raised voice reached through the closed bedroom door. “Natalie? You almost done?”
Forcing herself to her feet, Natalie gathered up Levi’s wrapped packages, forced the best smile she could, and opened the door.
Levi stood near the door while Maureen helped him on with his coat. Her mom’s coat was already on and her purse slung over her shoulder.
“Where are you two off to?”
Maureen zipped up Levi’s jacket then checked her pockets. “We just need to run a quick errand. We’ll be back in about an hour. Do you need anything while we’re out?”
Natalie hesitated putting the gifts under the tree. It wasn’t nearly as fine as the one they’d bought with Trevor and definitely not real. The only thing good about it were the ornaments her mother had saved before she’d sold everything to help Natalie rebound from her sham of a marriage. “What kind of errand? I thought we got everything we needed at the grocery store yesterday.”
“Oh, just a few last-minute Christmas items.” She ruffled Levi’s messy blond hair, but avoided looking Natalie in the eye.
Levi on the other hand beamed a rambunctious smile straight at her, one full of delight and mischief. Nowhere near the guarded, confused look he’d watched her with the last few days.
Her senses prickled, rising up beyond the numbing depression that had weighted her every thought for days. “Something going on I should know about?”
Maureen twisted, an over-bright and patently bogus smile on her face. “Now, Natalie. It’s Christmas Eve—for us anyway. You know better than to go digging into things on a special day. You’ll ruin your surprises.”
But she didn’t have any surprises. She’d ruined their happy holiday together as well as what might have blossomed into a beautiful future. She forced her pitiful thoughts away and nodded her head. “You know what? You’re right. It’s Christmas Eve. Our Christmas Eve. You two go run your errand, and I’ll take a shower and get dressed.” Then she’d knuckle down and do what she needed to do. What she’d been too chicken to do. She might not be able to give Trevor the gifts she’d gotten him, but she could at least pony up a humble apology. Then she’d break the news to Levi and hope to God it didn’t break his heart too bad.
With a quick wave and a goofy grin, Levi opened the door and bustled toward the staircase, Maureen quick on his heels.
The silence that lingered threatened her fragile determination. For who knows how long, she stood in front of their artificial tree and let her mind wander. She’d made a mistake. A bad one. But she could learn from it the same way she’d learned from all the others before it. She’d own up to her wrongs and hope, if nothing else, she and Trevor could be friends. She’d need to quit her job though. No way could she be around him every day and not fall apart.
Shaking off her thoughts, she found her purse and rummaged through it for her locker key. She’d need to turn it in after she talked with Trevor, but she could do that when he was on a charter flight and maybe have a chance to say goodbye to Ivan and Vicky.
A knock sounded on the door and her heart jolted, the heavy depth of it the same as what Wyatt had used the last time she’d seen him. But it couldn’t be Wyatt. Axel had assured her he’d not make bail this time, not so long as she continued to press charges. No way she was letting that bastard get away with what he’d done.
She crept to the front door, rolled to her toes, and checked through the peephole.
Her lungs hitched and a pitiful whimper slipped past her lips.
Standing tall and proud on the other side of her door was Trevor, his muscled torso wrapped in a brown bomber jacket and his blond hair loose and whipping in the winter wind. His gaze was pointed straight at the door, a resolute determination behind his eyes and a knowing glint that said he knew she was there and watching.
Sucking in a steady breath, she twisted the knob, the metal as chilled against her palm as the fear sliding through her veins. She squared her shoulders and opened the door. “Hey.”
He nodded, but the easy smile that had always greeted her before was absent, replaced with an angry scowl when his eyes locked on to the vivid bruises on her face. His jaw clenched long enough she halfway expected him to turn and stalk off. “Need to talk with you.”
Of course he did. Unlike her, he had the courage and the decency to wrap things up in person instead of escaping with a phone call. She stepped aside and waved him through, fervently wishing she was dressed in something besides two-day-old sweats and an oversized T-shirt. “Come on in.”
He ambled through the entrance and scanned the apartment, his focus lingering on their tree in the corner. Even with his coat on, there was no missing the tension in his shoulders and the tight lines around his face. He turned and opened his mouth.
“I want to apologize,” she blurted before he could speak. “You were absolutely right and I was horribly wrong. You’re nothing like Wyatt. Not even close. I mean...the drugs...I’m a nurse and I can’t condone selling things that aren’t certified as safe, but I get why you did what you did. It was noble even if it was unorthodox. To cut you off and assume the wrong things like I did is inexcusable. I should have asked more questions and listened.”
He frowned, eyebrows pinched in a deep V as though she’d knocked him for a loop. “You’re apologizing?”
“I’m trying.” It took all her strength to stay where she was. More than anything she wanted to touch him. To hold him and feel him against her again. “I wanted to call. I started to a few times, but chickened out. I’m sorry for that, too.”
His expression shifted, confusion morphing to more of a guarded mask. He faced her fully and the air between them changed. Where there’d been tension before, now an electric, bristling energy made her want to take a cautious step back. “Anything else?”
Her thoughts scrambled. The worn taupe carpet beneath her bare feet blurred as she thought through their ugly conversation at the hospital. She fisted her hands at her sides, desperately searching for whatever it was he sought. Her locker key gouged against her flesh.
Her job.
So that’s what he’d come here for. Not just to end things but to sever her employment, too. She swallowed and forced her gaze to his. It was what she’d wanted anyway. Was probably smart not just for them but for anyone else who’d have to work with them. She nodded and held out her hand. “I guess I should also give you my notice.”
He looked at the key, then her and strode forward. He plucked it from her outstretched palm and tucked it in his pocket. “Anything else?”
Despair and disappointment weighted her shoulders. This was it. The end of what they could have had if she’d just trusted her instincts a fraction more. “No,” she whispered. “Nothing else.” She tried to smile, but her muscles wouldn’t cooperate, what was left of her hope bleeding out of her soul. She nodded, shuffled to the door and opened it, letting in a sharp gust of frigid air. “I really am sorry I hurt you. For what it’s worth, I appreciate you having the courage to do what I couldn’t.”
He strode to the door, but instead of walking out, gently tugged it from her grip and closed it. “You said what you needed to, now it’s my turn.”
Only two feet stretched between them, but the indefinable current she’d sensed before thickened and licked against her skin in a teasing caress.
He prowled closer. “First off, if I ever pull that shit with you again, you do not lay down and take it. You throw it right back at me until I pull my head out of my ass.”
She inched backward, one step after another until her shoulders met the entry wall.
Trevor didn’t stop, still moving forward until his body grazed hers, his heat and scent breathing life into her paralyzed heart. “Second, you might not be willing to give me the words anymore, but nothing’s changed for me. Not now, not ever. I love you. I love Levi. The last two days have been the worst of my life. I’m not spending Christmas without my family, and I’ll be damned if I spend the rest of my days without you either.”
She gasped as if she’d surfaced from a near-fatal drowning and her body trembled on a furious surge of adrenaline. She splayed her hands against his chest, needing the familiar contact and the heat beneath her palms to prove the man and the words he’d given were real. “You what?”
“I love you. Nothing’s better than my time with you and Levi. Not my planes. Not my horses. Not my ranch. Not even my brothers.” He cupped the side of her face. “You seeing me as anything close to the man your ex is hit deep, and I took it out on you.” His gaze roamed her face, so much sincerity in his expression she felt it like a reverent caress. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m prideful as hell and almost as stubborn as you so I can’t swear I won’t do it again, but I promise I’ll bust my ass to keep it in check.”
“But you left.” Her lips trembled with the words, her whole body shaking with the same terrified shudder. “I thought you were gone. That you’d never come back.”
“I wasn’t sure what to do. I’ve never been this deep with a woman before. Never wanted to be. But I can tell you this much. You and Levi will never come second with me. Not ever. No matter what you say, no matter what you do, no matter how deep you cut, I’ll always come back. You and Levi won’t ever be alone or unprotected. Not as long as I’m breathing.”
“So...” She fisted her hands in his shirt, her heart kicking so hard it hurt. “You’re not breaking things off with me?”
He grinned, that beautiful lopsided smile that sent sunshine-warmth blasting straight through to her toes and made her feel like the most beautiful woman alive. “I said I’m prideful, not an idiot. Only an idiot would let you go by choice.”
For the first time in days, she laughed, the ragged sound weighted by the haggard emotions she’d wrestled since she’d watched him storm away. “Does this mean I’m not fired?”
“No, you’re still fired. My wife needs to be with her kid and getting her licenses back. Not that you have to go back to nursing. Only if you want to. I’ve got more than enough income to cover us both.”
Her mind stumbled and pitched as graceful as a nosedive down a concrete stairwell. “Your what?”
“My wife.” He palmed the back of her head, fingers threading through her hair and palm firm against her scalp. “I’m giving you fair warning so you know what you’re up against, but I don’t care how long it takes. Next week or next year, we’re getting married. And if Levi will have me, I’ll string Wyatt’s nuts up until he agrees to let me adopt him.”
“Trevor,” she whispered. The meaning behind his words registered, but her mind refused to absorb them, the beauty of the life he’d painted as blinding as a cloudless summer day.
He dipped closer and lowered his voice. “I know the things I shared, the things we did to deepen Wyatt’s troubles, made you question how I operate, but I’m telling you now we’re good men. We make good decisions for the right reasons. Maybe not always the way the law might agree with, but never against our honor and always in the best interest of our family.” He tightened his grip. “My family.”
She knew that. Had known it the second he’d shared the reasons behind what he’d done and the pieces had all clicked together in her head. “If you’d just told me—”
“I can’t promise that, darlin’. Not about things that could backfire and cause you or Levi problems, but you’ve got my word and the word of every one of my brothers—nothing we do impacts innocent people or is done without good intent. More importantly, nothing, absolutely nothing comes back on the people we love.”
Could she do that? Trust him the way he asked? To show the same dogged support she’d offered Wyatt before he’d thrown it back in her face?
Absolutely.
The answer resonated clear and powerful from the very deepest part of her. She traced the line of his jaw and tears welled in her eyes. “I believe you.” She cupped the back of his neck and urged him closer, needing his kiss more than she needed air.
He shook his head and pulled away enough to dig inside his pocket. He pulled out a black felt box held it up in his palm.
Her breath caught and the world around her trailed to a stop. It couldn’t be. Surely that wasn’t what she thought it was.
“I know we’re supposed to do gifts tomorrow, but I’m not waiting.” He pried the lid back. Inside sat a platinum ring with a monstrous oval diamond surrounded by smaller ones. “I told you I’d work to earn you back and I meant it, but you’ll save us both a whole lot of energy if you say yes now.” He paused only a beat, but his voice when it came next was lower and thick with sincerity. “Marry me, Natalie. Let me love and take care of you and Levi.”
So honest. So unbelievably heartfelt and genuine. That was her Trevor. The way he’d been from the very beginning. Unable to help herself, she brushed her finger along one side of the ring. She’d never seen anything so beautiful. So elegant and bold. But it was too big. As in waaay too big. “Trevor, I can’t wear this.”
Though he tried to mask it, his shoulders sank. “You don’t like it?”
“I love it. Any woman would love it, but it’s too much for me.”
The concern melted from his face and the soft vulnerability he saved for her alone slipped into place. “Not for you it’s not. Nothing for you is too much.” He plucked the ring from its white satin pillow and slid it on her finger. “It looks good on your hand. Right.” He pulled her flush against him and kissed the back of her hand. “Say yes, Nat.”
The tears she’d barely held in check slipped free and her cheeks quivered on a huge but tremulous smile. Her voice came out a broken rasp, the emotion clogging her throat too thick to let anything more intelligible pass. “I picked right this time.”
He chuckled at that and tucked her hair behind one ear. “Darlin’, you didn’t just pick me. You had me roped and tied the second I wrapped my arm around your waist that first night. It just took me a little time to figure it out.” He cupped the back of her neck and lowered his head, his lips a teasing whisper against hers. “Now, are you gonna tell me yes so we can give Levi one hell of a Christmas present, or do you need me to prove I mean what I say?”
Rolling up on her toes, she speared her hands in his loose hair and claimed the kiss he’d tempted her with.
His mouth parted, eagerly accepting the advance then quickly claiming control. This would never get old. Not even if she lived to be a hundred. Everything about him fit her perfectly. The passion behind his kiss. His comforting scent and strength. The completeness that came just from hearing his voice or sensing his presence in the same room. Maybe they were going too fast. Maybe the smart thing was to ask him to wait until they had time to settle into more of a routine, but why? She’d dated Wyatt for over a year before they’d even talked about marriage and look where that had gotten her.
She eased away from him, her heart thumping with a newfound courage. No more leading with her head. This time she’d trust her heart’s instincts. “You don’t have to prove anything to me, Trevor. You do that every time you look at me. Every time you smile or touch me.”
“That mean you’re saying yes?”
She smiled and her body hummed with a certainty she hadn’t felt in years. “I’m absolutely saying yes.”