CHAPTER TEN
Worth
She walked in and it took me a moment to recognize her. The caterpillar had morphed. The tomboy was gone, and she was no longer playing dress up as she had been during her second visit. Now there was an enticing and sophisticated young lady searching the room for me. I could only attribute this dramatic change in her fascination for my invitation.
I stood momentarily and waved to catch her attention. She actually smiled as she approached and I realized I hadn’t seen her smile yet.
“You look beautiful,” I commented without guise.
“Thank you. You look less gloating than the last time we met,” she observed with a twinkle in her eye.
We ordered drinks and a few appetizers. I had taken two deep gulps of my drink and realized I was uncharacteristically nervous. She had yet to try her wine and just studied me. She knew.
Having generally spoken to her across my desk with her facing sideways in rebellion, I now saw her eyes and was lost. They were a shade of green I’d only seen in island waters and set a bit close together with long, mahogany lashes. I had the urge to dive into them, picturing what she would look like lying beneath me. I was growing hard and yet a strange insecurity had come over me. What the hell is going on?
“What are you thinking?” she asked.
“Why?”
“First of all, I’ve always wanted to ask a shrink that question and secondly, there is a strange look on your face. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re nervous.”
“Nonsense.”
“You’re thinking about nonsense?”
“No, I mean it’s nonsense that I’m nervous. I never get nervous.” I was repeating myself. I was in trouble.
She smiled at this. “So many women. You should have this down pat by now, is that it?”
I was mentally gasping for air. I knew I needed to change the subject before I drowned. “You look great.”
“You said that. Thank you, a second time. What’s up? Why are you so uncomfortable? Is it the doctor-patient thing?”
“As long as you’re no longer my patient, there’s no jeopardy. You never were in need of my consultation, anyway. As we both know, you had been sent to the principal’s office.”
She laughed at that. “I see you know my mother.”
“It wasn’t hard to spot. Common among our set.”
“Our set?” those aqua green eyes questioned me.
“Mothers who have nothing better to do than meddle in their children’s lives. Very common among people who are well set. Not just mothers, either.”
“Ahhh…” she said as though discovering the combination to a safe. “So, you have one, too?”
“I do, indeed. Worth, II.”
“And is Worth, III, in the same frame of mind?”
“God, I hope not. If I ever have children, well, at least, any I’m aware of…” he added the codicil, “they will be given free rein. None of this spying on their lives.”
I was marveling at the strange dichotomy of her being so easy to speak to and yet making me nervous. Perhaps this was what it felt like to be outside the protective shell of cocky banter and rebelliousness. I wasn’t entirely sure I liked the feeling; it was somewhat like a freefall. Yet, having her across the table from me felt reassuring, real and authentic. Was her energy so pure that it was overriding my own? I looked at her vibrant skin, those striking eyes, the long waterfall of mahogany hair and I wanted that to belong to me. I needed it to be a part of who I was. My past was a littered mess of intentional failures, cutting corners and being as irritatingly obtuse as possible. I felt inside like Joe’s; something with an inner air of dark secrets. I needed her wholesomeness.
“I don’t know if I agree,” she was saying and my attention was instantly upon her words. I actually wanted to hear her viewpoint. I needed to hear what normal, healthy people think about. I was surrounded daily by not only my own dark thoughts but those of sick minds and tainted lives. “I rather think of raising children like training a young horse. You persist in pointing out the favored behavior, but you have to give them their head a bit, too, or they rebel and get themselves into trouble.”
Everything she said made sense. “You love horses, don’t you?” I said, not because I didn’t already know, but because I wanted to hear her voice continue.
“Oh, yes, especially Carlos. I ride Steeplechase with him. He’s also my best friend,” a sad smile appeared on her lips, “particularly when Mother begins her nosy nonsense.”
Her eyes turned dark at the mention of her mother. “Your mother, she really is a pain, in your opinion?”
She stirred her drink with the tip of her perfectly manicured index finger. I could almost feel that finger circling the tip of my cock and there was such a rush I thought I might lose it right there.
“Mother is very old-school. She thinks there are certain ways things are done and that’s all there is to it. She married my dad because she was told to, and it was the worst thing she could have ever done to the poor man. She emasculates him. She tells him to jump and he asks how high. It’s awful. So, since Mother was forced into a loveless marriage, she thinks she’s entitled to do the same thing to me.”
“But you don’t agree,” I prompted.
“I do not agree, you’re quite right,” Auggie said, her eyebrows rising in protest at the thought. “I avoid her as often as I can.
“And your father?” I wasn’t in my doctor’s seat but genuinely wanted to know the dynamics of her life.
“Dad? I run interference for him the best I can. When Mother launches herself on him, I do something I know will piss her off and sure enough, it draws her attention away and he can escape for a while. It’s the best I can do.” She crossed her legs and my heart skipped a few beats. She was all legs and I wanted them.
“What happens when you marry and move away?” I asked.
“Haven’t thought that far. There’s no one in the running right now. When Eric was in the picture, he was going to move into our house.” She sipped her wine at the memory of a disaster barely averted.
“He was willing to move in and live in your parents’ home, forever?” I could not imagine willingly putting your life in the hands of your mother-in-law.
“Yeah, can you believe that?” She clicked her tongue against her teeth in disgust.
Damn! Now I was fixated on her tongue. Would she quit torturing me at some point? “Poor bastard,” I commented, but she was quick to correct me.
“No, Mother made sure of that. His “papers” were researched. He was neither, even if his parents may have wished otherwise.”
“Did they know?” I asked, referring to his being gay.
“I have no idea, but I’m guessing not. Otherwise, Derek would not have been allowed in the house.” She shook her head. “Even the dogs were allowed in the house,” she added and my eyebrows rose a bit at the reference.
“Do you have siblings, Auggie?”
“This is beginning to sound a bit like an interrogation, don’t you think?” she asked. “No, I’m an only child. How about you?”
“I’m an only child as well. I had an older brother who was killed in a car wreck when he was sixteen,” I quickly mentioned. May as well get it out of the way now.
“Woah, that’s got to mess with your head,” she said candidly. “I’m sorry.”
“He was the good son. He did anything Father put before him. Yes, by the look on your face, I can tell you understand that my Father has some things in common with your mother. She may be a bit less shady than he is, however.”
“Can I ask you something?” she looked at me. I nodded. “What do you want with me?”
I looked at her; at the shining hair, the eyes and the sweet innocence of her face. “I want all of you.”