Chapter 1
JANIE
I put Netflix on pause and take my headphones off, listening. Knock knock knock. I hadn’t heard wrong: my roommate, Amy, is knocking on my door. I sigh, desperate for some alone time after the hellish week I’ve had.
“Janie, are you in there?” her voice comes muffled.
“Yep! Come on in!” I call out to her as warmly as I can, putting my strawberry cheesecake aside. I had been just about to dive into the sugary comfort with my comfiest pajamas swaddling my curvy body, but I suppose that moment of pure relaxation will have to wait just a little longer.
“It’s locked!” she says.
“Oh sorry!” I say, and leap off my bed to unlock the door, slightly embarrassed. It’s just that I wanted to shut the world out for a bit, even from Amy whom I adore. The door opens and Amy comes shuffling in, her eyes red and puffy, a comforter draped around her shoulders.
“Oh my gosh, are you okay?” I blurt out. Amy shakes her head tearfully.
“I’ve got a terrible flu,” she says nasally, making me feel sorry for her.
“You poor thing, come and sit down!” and I pat the bed beside me. But she shakes her head again, declining, swaying on the doorstep.
“I don’t want to infect you,” she says and sneezes violently into a tissue she’s holding in her hand. “I just came here to ask you a favor.”
“Sure, what is it?” I say.
“It’s a pretty big favor, actually,” she adds, sniffing. I smile at her; dainty and pretty on her best days, my friend now looks cute and helpless, with her long blonde hair, normally lustrous, now matted and sticking out all over the place.
“What can I do?” I say, truly hoping I can help in some small way.
“I have a date tonight. Obviously, I can’t go.”
“Okay, sure, no problem. You want me to call him for you?”
“No,” Amy shakes her head like it’s filled with cotton. “I want you to go in my place.”
I snort out a laugh, but then instantly realize by the look on my friend’s face that she’s being serious.
“Oh. Wait, how would that even make sense?”
“Well, it’s a double date. A blind date. My friend Hillary - remember I told you about Hillary - she set it up. She’ll be there with her boyfriend Randy, and she’s invited Brent along for me. Or rather, she invited me along for him.”
My heart sinks. Because as much as I love Amy, this is not a favor I’m prepared to carry out for anyone. Not right now, anyway, not when I’m already in my pajamas and ready to sink into a five hour-long Netflix binge session. All I want to do is shut the world out for a bit, not go out into it. Especially not with a group of strangers, and especially not on a date!
“I dunno, Amy,” I groan.
“Please!” she pleads.
“Why don’t you just cancel? Go next week, when you’re better?” I ask with exasperation.
“I thought about that. But I can’t bring myself to. Brent’s an army vet and he just got back from a tour. He’s had a lot to deal with, obviously, and Hillary wants to show him a good time. That’s why I said I’d go along in the first place, you know, so he can have, like, a “normal” night out. Everyone will be so disappointed if Brent has to be all alone. No one likes being a third wheel.”
I sigh, actually contemplating the proposition. But no way. I’m not doing this. It’s a disaster just waiting to happen. But Amy can tell from the look on my face what I’m about to say, and she really puts the pressure on then.
“Janie, please. It’s just a movie, so you won’t even have to talk to him! You’re just standing in for me. That way he won’t feel awkward, and maybe next week I can see him myself.”
“I suspect he knows what you look like?” I ask dubiously.
“Yeah, I think so,” she chirps, sensing victory. “Why?”
I sigh. The reason’s obvious. Amy is the pretty friend. She’s blonde, petite yet also leggy, with a sparkling white smile. Me, on the other hand? I’ve got untameable curly brown hair and fifteen pounds to lose. Okay, I admit it. More like thirty pounds to lose.
“So he’ll be expecting pretty, blonde you, and then I show up?” I laugh disbelievingly. “No. The guy’ll shoot himself in the head before he goes into the theater.”
Amy puts her hands on her hips, brows lowering.
“You know I hate when you talk like this. You have such low self-esteem when it comes to your looks that it’s pretty crazy,” she says. “I’ve told you once and I’ve told you a million times. Your curves are gorgeous. And so is your hair! Do you know how many girls would kill for natural ringlets like yours?”
But the words go in one ear and out the other because I’ve been a wallflower for so long that I’m used to it. I glance longingly at my cheesecake and laptop, on which screen the opening credits of my favorite show remain paused in anticipation. Amy starts coughing violently and this time, I jerk forward with concern.
“Are you okay?” I ask, giving her back a couple good thwacks. “I don’t want you to die on me here.”
My friend’s eyes are watery as she looks up, still coughing.
“Please, Janie,” she manages. “You’d be doing such a good deed. For me, and for Brent. And who knows, you might actually have a good time!”
I highly doubt this, but I have to admit that maybe staying in on my fourth Friday in a row to watch Netflix in my pajamas and eat cheesecake, might be overdoing it a bit with the alone time. Maybe it’d be good to force myself out. Maybe this is the perfect excuse. And like Amy said, I’d be doing a good deed.
So with a sigh, I give in.
“What time are you supposed to meet?” I ask reluctantly and my buddy’s eyes light up, shining right through her fever.
“You’re an angel!” she exclaims, her sudden excitement sending her back into a fit of hacking coughs. Oh god. Swinging her arm around my shoulder, I help Amy stagger back into her room before collapsing into her small twin bed. Poor thing.
And after making her a pot of hot tea, I take a quick shower and hope it will freshen me up. As the steaming water gushes down my body, I try to change my mindset for the better.
Brent, I think to myself. An army vet, recently returned from a tour abroad. I wonder where he was posted? I wonder if he’s seen terrible things? He’s probably a bit of a basket case at the moment, judging from the fact that Amy’s friend Hillary is trying to show him a good time by setting him up with a girl he’s never met before. A basket case who would appreciate someone like Amy, a pretty, thin, blonde with a charming smile.
Oh god. I hope this Brent guy doesn’t run screaming when he sees me standing in front of the theater instead. I cringe to myself as I soap my body up, letting my slippery hands glide over my full boobs and the rolling curves of my wide hips and ass. I’m easily sixty or seventy pounds heavier than Amy, probably more. What am I thinking? Silently, I curse. But it’s too late now.
Turning off the water, I drape my wet body in my towel and head out of the bathroom, intent on telling Amy I can’t go. I just can’t. It’s not the right thing to do. But as I approach her room, I hear her coughing uncontrollably and stop in my tracks. Because it’d be cruel to let her down, especially since I basically already said yes. Rolling my eyes, I retrace my steps and pad over to my bedroom. Time to look for something to wear.
After raiding my whole wardrobe and finding that everything makes me feel like a whale in drag, I resist the urge to thrust myself back into the alluring arms of my trusty pajamas and finally settle on a flattering blue dress that tapers at the waist, my favorite part of my body.
Dubiously, I stare at my reflection in the mirror, noting how my big boobs fill out the bodice nicely, causing ample yet classy cleavage that accentuates the look, while my heavy thighs and arms are demurely hidden by the pretty blue material. And I’m having a good hair day! Or, rather, a good hair evening. Chestnut curls cascade in waves down my shoulders. As a finishing touch, I dab on a bit of pink lipstick and slip on a pair of demure heels. Figuring this is as ready as I’ll ever be, I leave the dorm room … hoping against hope that this blind date turns out okay.