One night about a few days later, Nyssa was halfway asleep when a faceless worry began to nag at the back of her mind, preventing her from slipping solidly into sleep. What the fuck? Nyssa wondered silently as she flipped herself around in bed a few times, trying to get comfortable. Her chest was aching a little bit, her nipples feeling oddly tender as they brushed up against the fabric of her pajama shirt, so it took a few moments to get settled. What am I so anxious about? Is it about the drug connection? She’d just given her old friend Dominic Sebastian’s information earlier that day, and everything seemed to be going smoothly as far as she could tell. But what was bothering her?
It took her a few minutes before her mind landed on the right answer. My period! Nyssa thought, bolting upright in bed as soon as she realized what it was that was bothering her. It’d been weeks upon weeks since she could remember menstruating. That’s why her breasts were aching, why she felt like there was a distinct heaviness between her hips.
“Okay, calm down,” she whispered to herself. She leaned down to press her head in between her knees, hoping to get some of the sudden nausea that had swept over her to abate or at least lessen in intensity. “Calm down, calm down, you’re fine, everything’s fine,” she murmured, rubbing her own shoulders to fight the tension in her bones and muscles. “You’re not pregnant. It’s just stress. You’re late because you’ve been worrying about Katrina. But it’s fine. Everything’s fine. You’re going to be okay.”
She repeated those words over and over again under her breath until she managed to calm her breathing down and relax a little bit into the mattress. I’ll just find a way to get a pregnancy test, she thought to herself. I won’t be able to do anything about it until I know for sure. Until then, there’s no point in freaking out about it.
Still, she couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night, lying stiffly on the bed until the first crack of dawn shone through her window. Nyssa got up, resigning herself to the fact that she wouldn’t be able to rest until she had an answer. After hurriedly dressing, she left the Giustini brothel as quickly and quietly as she could, slipping out onto the early-morning street and rushing to the nearest pharmacy.
After buying a handful of different pregnancy tests, Nyssa debated whether or not to return to the brothel to test them out, but she finally decided to use the public bathroom at the nearby library instead. At least there no one will interrupt me from peeing several times in a row, she thought bitterly as she headed toward the library.
Fifteen minutes later, she had the answer she needed, although not the one she was hoping for. “Goddammit,” Nyssa muttered to herself, staring down at the two little pink stripes on the pregnancy test that signified her doom. All the tests said the same thing. She was pregnant. There was no doubt of it now.
By the time she finally worked up the will to exit the bathroom stall and head back out of the library toward the brothel, a light rain had started to fall. Nyssa didn’t bother trying to rush inside, away from the rain. She let it crash down on her head, soaking her hair all the way through by the time she finally made it back inside Katrina’s residence. I’m fucking pregnant. What the hell am I going to do now?
Her body carried her to Kimmie’s room, where she weakly tapped on the door until her friend answered and let her in. “What are you doing up so early?” Kimmie asked, wiping the sleep from her eyes before gesturing for Nyssa to sit with her on her bed.
“I’ve got news,” Nyssa said blankly.
“Ooh, did Sebastian call you back to his place late last night after we all went to sleep or something?” Kimmie asked, a bright grin spreading across her face.
Nyssa shook her head sadly. “No.”
The grin slipped from Kimmie’s face, replaced by a worried expression. “What is it, honey? What’s wrong?”
Nyssa cleared her throat, trying to force the words out, but then she just shook her head and reached into her purse to find one of the pregnancy tests. “Here,” she said, letting Kimmie lean over and inspect the contents of her hand. “Does that answer your question?”
“Holy fucking shit!” Kimmie said, bolting up from the bed, her gaze flicking back and forth between Nyssa’s face and the positive pregnancy test in the palm of her hand. “Holy shit, Nyssa!”
“I know,” Nyssa said sadly, stuffing the test back into her purse. “So that’s the end of me, I guess.”
Kimmie slowly sat down next to Nyssa again, reaching over to grab her hand. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know,” Nyssa said. She shrugged a little before letting her head sink into her free hand, cradling her pounding temple. “This has never happened to me before. All these years on the job and I’ve never fucked up this bad before.”
“Hey, it happens,” Kimmie murmured, giving Nyssa’s hand a reassuring squeeze that didn’t have much effect. “Condoms break all the time, baby.”
“He didn’t wear a condom,” Nyssa interjected.
“Oh… why?” Kimmie asked.
“I don’t know. I know I shouldn’t have let him fuck me without one, but…” Nyssa trailed off, uncertain of how to explain how she got here. “I just can’t say no to him.”
Kimmie didn’t say anything right away, just letting her other hand come up to clasp over Nyssa’s, her fingers soothingly tracing over her knuckles. “Why don’t you tell him, honey?” she finally asked after several long seconds of peaceful silence. “He can help you get the money for… a procedure. If that’s what you want.”
“Why would he help me?” Nyssa said, barely able to keep herself from scoffing at her friend’s attempt at a helpful suggestion. “I’m just some random hooker he’s fucked a handful of times. He’s got no reason to give a fuck. Face it, Kimmie. I’m screwed. If Katrina finds out, best case scenario, I’m back out on the street. More likely, she’ll have me fucking killed for daring to get knocked up by her boyfriend.”
“Sebastian will protect you,” Kimmie said. She gave Nyssa’s hand another squeeze, with more force this time. “He’s not going to let her hurt you.”
“How can you say that? I’m just a plaything he sticks his dick into now and again,” Nyssa said mournfully. “Katrina’s his girlfriend. He’ll take her side.”
“When has he ever taken her side?” Kimmie asked. “Whenever we see them or hear them together, they’re fighting about some random bullshit. And from what you told me a few days ago, he’s been getting nicer and nicer to you.”
“Just because I’m convenient,” Nyssa said, shaking her head in disbelief. “He doesn’t really care. Not in any real way.”
Kimmie sighed, then whined a little under her breath as Nyssa pulled away from her and got to her feet to pace around the perimeter of the room. “I don’t believe you, Nyssa,” Kimmie said.
“I think I know what I’m talking about,” Nyssa said, blowing out all her breath at once. “I know men, Kimmie. And Sebastian’s just like any other guy. He wants to get his dick wet whenever he feels like. Everything else is just a nuisance to him. Including me.”
“Oh, come on!” Kimmie said. She got to her feet and began to follow Nyssa around the room. “Stop it, Nyssa. Just listen to me. He doesn’t love Katrina. He loves you.” Nyssa turned around and scoffed at her friend, but Kimmie kept going. “But even if you’re right and he doesn’t really care about you, what do you have to lose?”
Nyssa froze in her tracks, almost running into Kimmie as she turned around to face her friend. “What are you talking about? Everything! I stand to lose everything if Katrina finds out. She’ll hurt me. I know she will.”
“Sebastian wouldn’t tell her, either way,” Kimmie said. “Worst case scenario, he’ll tell you you’re on your own. But if you don’t tell him, you’ll always be wondering, what if? Don’t do that to yourself, Nyssa. Tell him.”
Nyssa fell silent, staring into her friend’s wide earnest eyes. “Should I…?” She couldn’t even force herself to say the rest of the question, but Kimmie seemed to understand her, nodding immediately.
“Yes. You should. Like, now.”
“Okay,” Nyssa said, feeling an entirely new wave of nervousness crash over her body as she realized what she needed to do. “Okay, I’ll go tell him. Oh, Jesus. Please pray for me, Kimmie.”
“Will do,” Kimmie said with a smile. She wrapped her arms around Nyssa’s torso, crushing her into a hug. “Now go get him.”