“What do you normally do with Slayer when you work a twenty-four-hour shift?” she asked.

“Sheryl from next door comes over and walks him and feeds him.”

Chloe had an immediate picture of Sheryl and she didn’t like it.  She would be tall, blonde and endowed.  Therefore, everything that Chloe wasn’t. 

“Why haven’t I met her?”

“You didn’t seem in the mood for company.  She’s a doll.  She’s wanted to come over and meet you, plus she’s missed Slayer.  Would you mind if she came over for a visit tomorrow after school while I’m on shift?”

“After school?”

“Yeah, she’s in ninth grade.  She’s been babysitting Slayer since he was a puppy.  They’re great friends.”

Great, now she was jealous that the teenager was best friends with the dog.  She needed to keep her shit together. 

“Chloe, are you okay?  You have a funny look on your face.”

“I’m fine.  You’re probably right, I’m just nervous about meeting someone.”

Zarek stepped close.  “You look like you need a hug.”

So why was he hesitating?  Did she have cooties?  Oh yeah, she was crazy.  “I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do,” she said sarcastically. 

“Come here, you.”  He wrapped her up in his big arms, and she smelled the fresh scent of fabric softener and man.  She inhaled, wanting to take him in deeper, wanting this moment to never end.  She felt his chin rubbing against the top of her head. 

“Don’t go.”  Shit, had she said that?

He went still.

“I can call in.”

She tipped her head back to look at him.  “I didn’t mean it.  I’m being silly.  Of course you have to go in.”

“Chloe, what’s going on?”

“I don’t know.  Blame it on that damned doctor.  He stirred up crap.  I’m all feely.  I don’t like it.  I don’t even feel like playing solitaire.  I’m thinking about cooking.” 

Zarek shuddered.

“Well at least my homeowner’s insurance is up to date.”

“I’m serious.”

“So am I.”  He moved his hands so he was cupping her cheeks.  “Cupcake, I have plenty of leave, I can take the day off.” 

She saw his hesitancy.  “You don’t want to leave your team in the lurch at the last minute, do you?”

“I don’t,” he admitted.  His thumb brushed her lower lip and butterflies took flight in her tummy.  It was like that first kiss all over again.  She saw his green eyes darken.  She realized she wasn’t the only one affected by the small caress. 

“You pack a punch, Cupcake.”

“You’re the one doing the touching,” her breath warmed his thumb.  She raised up on her toes, hoping he would get the message.  He did.

Zarek’s head lowered and all she could see was his face as his mouth took hers.  Heat exploded.  She lost all ability to stand, but Zarek was there, he was always there to catch her.  Hold her.  He molded their bodies together as his tongue swept inside her mouth and took away all semblance of reality.  She moaned and clung, desperate for more of his taste, his essence. 

Chloe’s head swirled, her body throbbed as their tongues tangled.  She pressed her breasts against his chest trying to relieve the ache.  She felt his fingers spear through her hair, pulling at the strands.  She needed him to pull harder, more sensation, she needed more. 

Twisting, she pulled at his neck, wanting the kiss to never end.  She heard a sound.  A whimper.  Damn Slayer.

Zarek caressed her back with gentle strokes.  “Shhhh, easy,” he said as he raised his head.

“I want more.”

“I don’t think you do.”  His eyes glittered as they looked down at her, missing nothing.  It was at that moment that she realized she had been the one who had whimpered.

“What’s wrong with me?” she asked with a soft agonized wail.  “I’m a tease.”

“No you’re not.  You’re perfect.”

Chloe felt the proof of his arousal against her tummy.  She wasn’t perfect, she’d provoked Zarek to this state, and she couldn’t follow through.  What a failure.

“Hey, hey.  I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I don’t like it.  I can tell you’re putting yourself down.  I just shared my second kiss with my best friend.  Don’t ruin this for me.”

“But―”

“No buts.  Chloe, kissing you is the most profound experience of my life.”

“You can’t mean that.  I’m screwed up.”  She pushed against his chest, a thought careening through her head.  “Is that what does it for you?  Wounded birds?  Are you turned on by women who are weak?  That you can dominate?”

He laughed.  “Jesus, you’re head really is screwed up.”

“Well d’huh.”  She tried to get out of his arms, but he held her tight.  “Let me go.”

“Not until we hash this out.  And we have exactly three minutes before I have to leave.”

His eyes glittered down at her.

“One, I’m not turned on by wounded birds.  I’m a fire fighter, trust me, more than one woman has wanted me to rescue her over the years, and I’ve turned them down flat.  That’s never been what’s turned my crank.  Two, you’re suffering from PTSD, and you’re working your way out of it.  You’re going to be back to your fighting weight in no time and back to kicking my ass.  Three.  I’ve been twisted up about you for years.  Ask Luke.”

“What do you mean you’ve been twisted up about me for years?”

“The three minutes are up, but Honey, it’s you, who you are then, who you are now, and who you will be that I’m interested in.”

She stared up at him, wanting to believe.

“You can believe me.”

Damn it.  How could he be in her head?

He bent and rubbed his nose against hers.  “I’ll see you tomorrow.  You have my number, call me for anything.  Call me just to say, ‘Hi’, okay?”

She knew she wouldn’t.

“Can I tell Sheryl she can come over after school today?”

Chloe nodded.

“Excellent.”

As soon as Zarek left Chloe picked up her phone and looked at the messages.  She hadn’t cleared out her in-box on purpose.  She was sick of people, in other words, her family, leaving messages.  It was just easier to have a full in-box so they couldn’t leave a message.  Of course, that didn’t stop them from texting.  Who knew you could have over three hundred texts?  Drake was the worst.  Evie was second.  Hell, she would have bet on Zoe and Trenda. 

Trenda played the Bella card, sending pictures of her precocious niece.  It wasn’t fair.  She missed the little girl.  But Drake.  God, she hadn’t had a big brother for twelve years.  And here he was acting like a big bad grizzly, ready to take on the world for her.  She was sure that if it weren’t for Karen being on bedrest, he would be in Dallas.  It kind of made her feel warm inside, at the same time it pissed her off.

Evie’s messages she just deleted.

***

The next twenty-four-hour shift Zarek had Chloe found herself worried for him.  It was the first time she was out of her own headspace enough to consider the fact that he was a fire fighter and he could be hurt on the job.  She’d watched him get into his truck in his blue uniform, a steel mug of coffee in his hand.  He was smiling.  How could he be smiling when he would be risking his life?

She booted up the computer, but could care less about solitaire, she started looking up all kinds of statistics on the hazards of fire fighters.  What she read both reassured her, and scared her.  Statistically the number of deaths were less than fishermen in Alaska, but still when she read about all the hazards like smoke inhalation, structural collapses and burns, it scared the stuffing out of her.

She knew where Station 58 was located because her doctor’s office was close to it.  There were a lot of old abandoned warehouses, what happened if one of those caught fire?  He would be at the mercy of the men and women he served with and Chloe had never taken the time to meet them, sure Zarek had told her a little about them, but she didn’t know if they were good people or not.  Were they qualified to keep Zarek safe?

She googled fires in Dallas, and immediately got chills.  This time she knew her sweatshirt wouldn’t warm her.  The last four alarm fire had been two weeks ago a huge fire blazed at an old factory East of Central.  Seven engine companies and four ladder companies were called and it included Station 58.  It turned out that homeless people used the factory for shelter, so it was critical that fire fighters go in and clear the building.

Now that she thought back, there had been a night that Zarek had been stressed and on the phone a lot.  But it hadn’t really registered for her.

How was she going to know if he was all right?  She thought back to the cupcakes that he had brought home.  He’d said that a wife of one of the guys he worked with had made them.  Some woman named Skye.  Another quick search of cupcakes, bakeries, Skye and Dallas netted her a catering company website.  She immediately placed a call, but got an answering machine.  Chloe left a message, explaining who she was and asking for a call back.  Hopefully this woman Skye would be able to tell her more about what was going on at Station 58.

Chloe got up from the computer and started to pace.  Slayer, who had been lying on the floor beside her in the den, got up and walked at her side.  She saw that his water dish was empty and she filled it.

“Your master is going to be all right.  This is what he does for a living, right boy?”

When he woofed, she took that as agreement.

Dammit, why wasn’t Skye calling her back.  If the woman was running a business, shouldn’t she call potential clients back in a timely manner?

Chloe’s mind whirled.  She needed help.  She needed comfort.  The one person she had turned to when she had been hurting as a child, the one person who had been her surrogate mother was Trenda.  She needed Trenda.  But she was still mad at her. 

She let out a watery laugh.  “Fuck it all.”  How many times had she been mad at Trenda for trying to be the boss of the Western Hemisphere?  That was who she was.  She wouldn’t be her big sister otherwise.  She needed her.

She punched in Trenda’s number.

“Merciful Heaven.  Chloe Baby, I’m so sorry.  I love you so much.  Please forgive me.  You’re perfect the way you are.  What do you need? I’ll be right there.”

And that was why she loved her sister, unconditional love and unconditional support.

“Can you not tell anyone I called.  I still don’t want to deal with the Avery Avalanche.”

There was a long pause.  Secrets and Trenda didn’t usually mesh.

“Please sis.  I still need space.”

“All right.  I’m here for you, whatever you need.  I promise to keep my mouth shut.  Now how can I help you?”

“I’m scared.”

“We can get through this.  Just tell me what’s scaring you.  Are you in a safe place?  Should you call 9-1-1?”

Chloe gave a weak laugh.

“I’m physically fine.  I’m in Zarek’s house.  I’m actually seeing a shrink and on some meds.  I hate admitting it, but they’re helping.  I fucking hate taking a pill!”  Slayer whined at her outburst.

“Hey, you need to be gentle and kind to my baby sister.  They have that medicine for a reason, and if it is helping you, I thank God for it.  Oh my God, it is so good to hear your voice.”  She heard Trenda sniffle.

“Don’t cry.”

“I promised not to tell anyone about this call, I didn’t promise not to cry.”

“’T’?”

“Yeah, sweetie?”

“I’m scared.”

“I’m listening.”

“I just figured out that Zarek has a dangerous job.  He leaves on these twenty-four hour shifts and he actually fights fires.”

She could actually hear her big sister listening. 

“He could get hurt.”

“And that would hurt you?  Wouldn’t it?” Trenda asked gently.

“This isn’t about me,” Chloe denied vehemently.

Trenda didn’t respond. 

“Did you hear me?”

“Oh, I heard what you said, and everything you didn’t say.  I’ve liked Zarek Post for years and years, but I actually loved him when fought to take you to Dallas.”

That floored her.  She was so sure that Trenda, for sure, was pissed as hell at Zarek.  But then she thought about it.  If she really hadn’t approved she would have been on Zarek’s doorstep the next day.  Chloe grinned. 

“So, you thought he could ‘fix me’ did you?”

“Oh God, you’re never going to let me live that down.  I’m so sorry I ever said that horrible thing.  Hell Chloe, I think part of where I was coming from was the fact that I had to put myself back together after that whole fucking ordeal.  Evie was kidnapped in Turkey, you were held hostage and beaten, then Evie killed a man, then I was taken hostage and they threatened Bella.  All of that was a nightmare.”

Chloe stood up straight.  Put like that, it made her realize that her whole family had been put through the ringer.

“But tell me about Zarek,” Trenda prompted.

“I’m just scared for him, ‘T’.”

“Just like we’ve all been scared for Drake and his job as a SEAL.”

Chloe turned that over in her head.

“Not quite, that seemed too distant.  Drake had been gone from home too long for me to wrap my head around the fact that he was in harm’s way.  But Zarek is here in the morning having breakfast, and then he leaves for a job where he could get killed.”  Chloe hated the fear in her voice.  She had just been coming out of her fear headspace.

“Didn’t you tell me he had to take some pretty serious training to get to his current level?”

“Yes,” Chloe admitted.

“So he must be good at his job.”

“But I don’t know about his teammates.  They could be morons.”

“Zarek doesn’t strike me as the type to put up with stupid people watching his back.”

Chloe had to agree with that assessment.  What’s more, he had talked really highly of the three men he’d mentioned.  Especially Luke and Jax.

“I think you need to talk to Zarek about your concerns.  He’s going to be the best one to reassure you.”

“I don’t want him to think I’m just some weakling, when I’m just beginning to get strong again.”

“Honey, he’ll just think that you care.  Something tells me that will mean a lot to him.”

“I do care.  Maybe too much.”

“Chloe, I saw a man ride in on a white horse to rescue you.  I’d say he cares a hell of a lot too.” 

“I’m sick.  He can’t want me.”

“You don’t sound sick to me.  You sound like a hell of a lot like the little sister I’ve always known and loved.  Go kick some fireman ass!”

“I love you Trenda.”

“I love you too, Baby Girl.”

***

All Zarek thought about for the next twelve days was that last kiss.  Chloe was keeping him at arm’s length, and he hated it.  He didn’t understand it.  Was it because he’d admitted that he had feelings for her?  Here he was in the waiting room again, and it seemed apropos since he’d been in a holding pattern.

Cut it out Post.  Give the woman some room.  She had enough on her damn plate without you hounding her.

He picked up a magazine and then realized it was about golf and threw it back down on the coffee table.  For God’s sake, didn’t they have something about cars or something good?  He pulled out his phone.  It was déjà vu all over again.  The damn Avery family was going to be the death of him. 

He had forty-five minutes until Chloe was due out of her appointment.  He’d give Zoe a call, since yesterday she threatened to fly out to Dallas.  He got up and left the waiting room and walked out into the hallway.

“You’re an asshole,” Zoe said when she answered the phone.

“It’s nice talking to you too,” he responded.

“I bought a ticket.  I’ll be there tomorrow.” 

He knew her too well.  She was lying.  Zoe would have just shown up.  There was no way she would have told him her plans. 

“Back off Zoe.  Give her more time.  She’s getting better.”

“Bullshit.  She hasn’t called any of us.  She hasn’t even returned a text.” 

That surprised him.  She’d been in Dallas for over three weeks.   He would have thought she would have contacted her family by now.

“Seriously Zoe, you have to believe me, she’s doing better.  She even cooked.”

He could almost hear her thinking.  “What did she cook?  Mac ‘n Cheese?  Because if all she did was boil water and squeeze cheese out of a packet that isn’t progress.”

“She made spaghetti, but before you bitch, she actually browned hamburger and cut up onions and celery and seasoned the meat to go into the sauce.”

“No way,” he heard the awe in Zoe’s voice.  He didn’t tell her that Chloe had been supervised by a fourteen-year-old girl.

“She did.”

“Was there cheese?”

“Cheese garlic bread.  It was burnt,” he admitted. 

Zoe laughed.  “That’s amazing.  How did you get her to do that?”

He didn’t want to tell her about the therapist and the meds, that was Chloe’s story to tell.

“I think she needed some time.”

“We need to see her Zarek.  Especially Evie.”

“Why Evie?”

“I told her that Chloe said she hated me―”

“She didn’t mean it.” Zarek interrupted.

“When I was able to step away I knew that.  Chloe will always love me.  But part of her really does hate me for that day.  We need to have a ‘Come to Jesus’.  Evie figures Chloe needs to see her too.”

“What are you talking about?  Evie saved her life.”

“Evie watched while Chloe was beaten to unconsciousness,” Zoe said softly.  The last four words he barely heard.  “She let it happen.”

“Chloe doesn’t think that.”  Or did she?

“Expect a visit soon.  You’re good for Chloe, she’s going to need you beside her.”

“You can depend on it.”