No regrets. Not a single one. As I awaken from an incredible dream having everything to do with Wolf and his magical mouth, I slowly become aware of the wet sensations between my thighs. Tongue swirling, mouth sucking. I gasp, already close to the edge, and I’m not even fully awake yet.
After I come out of my orgasmic oasis, Wolf lifts up so his body is covering mine and kisses me hard, letting me taste myself.
“Good morning,” he greets huskily. Wolf’s voice is hot as sin in the morning.
His shaft is stiff between my legs, rocking into me as if begging for permission to enter. But he holds back, keeping his promise.
“Good morning to you.” I smile as he buries his mouth in my neck and groans. “You’re extra awake this morning,” I tease.
“I can’t believe I slept with you naked beside me. I’ve never done that before you. Ever.”
“Slept with someone without having sex?”
He nods into my hair. “Uh-huh. And this is the second time with you.” Something about the sweetness in his voice hits me in the chest. He rocks his hips again until his tip finds my entrance. We freeze and lock eyes.
Why the no sex rule, I’m not sure, but it was fun as hell trying to obey. I think we managed like two sexually frustrated champions. Now, I’m not sure I’ll have the strength to tell him no.
“Lyric…”
“No sex was your rule. Why?”
He sighs. “Because I wanted to prove to you that it’s more than sex. It is, but I'm also more attracted to you than I’ve been to anyone. Ever. Seriously, Lyric. The last two weeks were fucked up. I hated every minute of staying away from you.”
I swallow, trying to digest his words. I’m not completely sure what he’s saying, but I like it. Maybe too much.
“You’re kind of perfect, you know that?” he says, our eyes never breaking their hold. “I’m so fucking into you, it’s insane.”
This time I smile and brush my lips against his as I tilt my pelvis up. “Then what are you waiting for, rock star?”
He groans again. “I want to so bad, but A—condoms are on the bus. B—shit, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but let’s do this right. As much as I want to bury myself in you for the foreseeable future, you deserve more than this. You’ve already blown my plan to one-night stand you.” He grins to let me know he’s kidding. I think. “Our first time shouldn’t be morning sex, and it definitely shouldn’t happen before I take you out on a proper date.”
“A proper date?” I stifle a giggle. Who is this man and what did he do with Wolf?
“Yes.” His tone is defensive. “I may have had an idiot for a father, but I had an angel for a mother, and she taught me a few things about how to treat a woman. I just haven’t found one that brings that out in me, I guess. You, sweet Lyric, are worthy of everything my mother taught me.”
“I think I need to meet your mom.” I’m trying to hide my grin, but it’s impossible.
Something changes in Wolf’s eyes. His expression grows dim, and the hardness digging into my core softens. I can feel him slipping away before he rolls away to lie on his back. I feel a painful squeeze in my stomach. Alarms go off in my head. I’ve said something wrong.
I’m afraid to open my mouth again, and all is silent for a few moments while I wait for Wolf to speak. Nothing comes. Minutes pass, and I can’t even look at him. His mind seems to be churning, debating something, and I’m so afraid I've crossed some arbitrary line that brought back a dark memory from deep within him.
After a while I feel a dip in the bed as he gets up and makes his way to the bathroom. Shit. I can only imagine the worst as I think about the topic of conversation. His mother. A shiver runs through me, and I wish I hadn’t said a word about meeting her.
When the water in the shower starts, I frown and I launch myself off the bed. What I find in the bathroom knocks the wind out of me. Wolf’s face is red, his eyelids pinched tightly together, and tiny quivers rock his body. My heart seizes in my chest. He grips the edge of the counter, knuckles white. With his head cast down, his shoulders heave forward relentlessly, and a tear slips down his cheek.
Oh, God. For a moment I’m frozen, just watching him, trying to make sense of what I’m seeing. The tightness in my chest and pressure in my throat build as I witness his pain, telling me that my feelings for this man go beyond anything rational. These feelings weren’t planned. They weren’t even wanted or welcomed. But they’re here in this room and there’s no denying it anymore.
I push the door all the way open, approach him, and place my arms around his waist with my face pressed against his back. He continues to let go, silent sobs of pain pulling from deep within him.
I want to be strong for him. Hold him for as long as he wants or needs. And then a tear falls onto my arm, and it completely rips me apart. Now I’m crying with him. My hands move up his chest until one is directly above his heart, as if I can hold it in place for him. I don’t know why or how it happened, but Wolf’s pain is now my own.
No words were spoken in the bathroom. After crying together for what felt like forever, both our phones began to ring like crazy. I finally took the call to hear Crawley scream at me on the other end. I lied. I told him I didn’t know where Wolf was, but I was on my way to his room and we’d be to the bus shortly. Once on the bus, Wolf went straight to his room, and I could tell by his swift departure that he wanted to be alone.
I ignore Crawley’s heated stare the entire first hour back on the bus before giving up and taking refuge in my bunk. We have an eight-hour drive ahead of us to Wisconsin, which means one long pit stop to give Rory a break at the wheel. Tonight, we sleep on the bus.
I nap for a few hours, and when I awake, I grab my laptop to do some work. There are over three hundred messages in my inbox, most of which are confirmations for upcoming accommodations, but it’s too much for my brain right now. I can’t get Wolf—and the confusion I feel after witnessing his tears—off my mind.
I’m not confused by my feelings for him; those were solidified last night when he told me I’m the only one he sees, and then again this morning when he said it was like I was made for him. Those words were heavy for both of us. No, I’m confused by his reaction. What did I say that made him break down like that?
Knowing getting through my emails is impossible, I close my laptop and reach for my songbook at the corner of my bed. I open it to find my latest unfinished piece and start writing.