It had been over a week since I’d fucked everything up with Ariel. We got back from Abilene and my heart felt like a lead weight inside my chest. Bear and Axle hadn’t let up. I think if I hadn’t picked up the phone to call her, Bear would have done it for me.

Except she didn’t answer. Three calls in three days and each went straight to voicemail. It served me right. I was an ass. The girl had laid her heart open for me and what did I do? I threw it back in her face. Though my methods had been cruel, maybe my instincts had been right all along. Ariel was better off without me. Maybe the best thing I could do for her was to just leave her alone.

I sat in the clubhouse bar as Mama Bear poured me my third beer. “You planning on staring into that mug all afternoon, baby?” she said, leaning over until her forehead almost touched mine across the bar.

“Sorry,” I said, straightening. “Lot of shit on my mind.”

“Bullshit,” she said, laughing. “There’s exactly one thing on your mind. So why don’t you do us all a favor and fix it. Make things right with your girl.”

I took a long, slow sip of my beer. It wasn’t going to be nearly enough to take the edge off it for me tonight. I needed something a hell of a lot harder.

“Forget it,” Mama said, reading my mind. “I’ve watched you sit here getting shit-faced two nights in a row. I’m not having it. Not on my watch.”

“She won’t take my calls,” I said, slamming the mug down.

Mama Bear didn’t miss a beat. My phone was sitting on the bar next to me. She grabbed it then pulled her own out of her pocket. Turning her back to me and ignoring my protests, she pulled up Ariel’s number and dialed from her own phone. She slid mine back across the bar as she waited for the call to go through. She stood with one hand on her hip and a smug look on her face.

“Hey, honey,” she said, straightening. My heart flipped in my chest. For a second, I thought Mama had gotten Ariel’s voicemail too. She held up a finger to me.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” Mama said. “Well, no. That’s a damn lie. I mean to bother you plenty. Look, can you come to the house?”

Her eyes flicked left and right and she listened to whatever Ariel was saying. She dropped her head then leaned forward, resting her elbow on the bar. “I get it. I do. Can you just humor me the one time? Baby, I’ll be the first one to have your back if things take a turn. I know what these boys are like. More than anybody. Where are you now?”

Her smile widened. I tried to reach across the bar to take the phone from her. Mama was quick and dodged my arm. She turned her back to me. “Perfect. See you then.” She clicked off her phone and tucked it back into her pocket.

“What did she say?” I asked, trying not to sound too eager. I was wasting my time though. Josie Bullock would never miss an opportunity to call me on my bullshit.

“What do you think she said?”

My shoulders dropped. “She probably told you to tell me to go to hell.”

Mama laughed. “I’ll admit, it had the flavor of that. That girl’s hurting. But she’s on her way. She was looking at property on the east side so she’s not far. So why don’t you splash some cold water on your face and go look in a mirror. You look like shit. And hurry, baby.”

I slid off the barstool and headed back to my apartment. A couple of the guys called back some insults. They’d heard the whole exchange with Mama Bear and weren’t shy about busting my balls over it. Fuck ’em. I couldn’t care. Ariel was on her way.

I took Mama’s advice and leveled a hard stare at myself in the mirror above the vanity. She was right. I looked like complete dog shit. I hadn’t shaved in over a week and my beard grew in thick and wiry. I had dark circles beneath my eyes, not having slept more than three or four hours at a time in over a week. I lifted my arm and smelled under it.

“Shit,” I muttered. I figured a five-minute shower was better than none at all. I peeled off my clothes and got to work. When I finished, I threw on a pair of clean jeans and a t-shirt. My cut hung over the island separating the kitchen space from the bed. For a moment, I thought about leaving it there. Maybe this would go better if Ariel didn’t have to look at my patch. In the end, I put it on anyway. I didn’t know what the hell I could say to her that would undo the hurt I’d caused her, but pretending I was something I’m not wouldn’t help.

I finger-combed my damp hair and ran a hand across my jaw. There was no time to shave, but at least I was more or less clean. Taking a deep breath, I headed for the door. I swung it open with force and my heart dropped straight into my boots. Ariel stood there with her fist raised, ready to knock.

“Hey,” I said, feeling sheepish.

“Hey, yourself.” She lowered her hand and crossed her arms in front of her. She kept her feet planted firmly in the hallway. Man, she looked so beautiful. She wore a faded yellow t-shirt with her company logo stretched across her breasts. Her jeans were tattered at the knees and she had those worn red cowboy boots on. She had her hair piled into the messy bun she always wore when she was working. It seemed I’d kept her from that today too.

“Hey,” I said again, moving out of the doorway. I gestured for her to come in.

Ariel straightened her back. “I can’t stay,” she said. “I’ve got an appointment to look at a house out on Chelsea Lane. I’ve got about ten minutes, Chase.”

“Right,” I said. “You didn’t have to come at all. So thanks for that.”

“You’re right,” she said, her voice rising. Two spots of color came into her cheeks. She was pissed. Fuck. She was downright furious. “I didn’t have to come. I shouldn’t have come.”

“You could have just answered your phone!” My own anger rose and I felt those familiar walls starting to close in around my heart. Fuck. This was already derailing.

Ariel slapped her hands down against her thighs. “Never mind. You know what? This was a mistake. My mistake. So I’ll just unmake it and leave.”

“Ariel, don’t. Please. I’m sorry. Fuck. I’m saying everything wrong. I’m doing everything wrong. Will you just come inside?”

She put her arms up again, folding them in front of her. “I think I’m fine right here,” she said. “If I come inside, it’ll just complicate everything again. I like the hallway. The hallway is easier.”

I couldn’t help but smile. Her words ran together. She spoke in rapid-fire sentences when her emotions were up. I had her off guard. I knew exactly what she was afraid would happen if she came into my room. She was right. It would be a hell of a lot simpler if I could just take her in my arms and kiss away her doubts. Just standing this close to her was sending my nerve endings into overdrive. I wanted to touch her. I craved her like a fucking drug. From the blush on her cheeks, I knew she felt the exact same way.

“Fine,” I said, sighing with defeat. “We’ll do it your way.”

“My way? My way? Are you kidding me with that, Chase? This is the exact opposite of my way. I got dragged here out of guilt by Josie. You put her up to calling me for you because you knew I’d take the call and she did your dirty work. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to let you …”

“Let me what? Hurt you again?” My words seemed to hang in the air between us for a beat. Then they settled against Ariel, making tears well in her eyes. God. I had hurt her. Badly.

“Just say what you need to say. I’m here. I’m listening. But that’s all.”

“Right.”

“Start with I’m sorry!” a voice shouted down the hall. It was Bear’s. Fuck. I poked my head around the door. Ariel took a step back. The whole fucking membership had congregated near the bar. Apparently I was tonight’s entertainment.

“You still sure about the hallway?” I muttered, straightening and taking a step back into my apartment.

“Yep,” Ariel said, defiant.

I dropped my shoulders in defeat. “I’m sorry. Baby, I’m an asshole. I get it. I wish I could have a do-over for the other night. In case you haven’t figured it out, I’m no good at this.”

“Damn straight!” somebody else yelled from the bar. I think it was Benz.

Ariel coughed into her hand. I saw the edges of a smile.

“Fine,” she said. “Maybe not the hallway then.”

I spread my hands wide in a “hands-off” gesture and let her brush past me. I leaned into the hallway and jabbed a middle finger in the air. I ducked just in time as an empty beer bottle whizzed by. I closed the door behind me and turned to Ariel; my heart seemed like it shot up into my neck.

“I got spooked,” I said. “I’m not used to good things. They don’t really happen to me that often. I figured it would only be a matter of time before you decided this wasn’t the life for you. I thought I’d spare you the drama.”

Ariel dropped her hands to her side. Those spots of color came back into her cheeks. “You really do suck at this, you know that? You don’t get to decide whether I can handle something or not. You don’t get to decide whether I can handle you. In case you haven’t noticed, you don’t really have the market cornered on shitty things happening. I didn’t grow up in some gilded cage. I’m not naive, or privileged, or stupid. I know who you are. I know what your life is. And I said what I said with all of that in mind.”

“Say it again,” I said. I took a step toward her. It was so damn selfish of me to ask her. Heat flared through me. I wanted to be close to her. I wanted to touch her. I wanted to be in her.

“Don’t,” she said, looking away. Her eyes glistened with tears I knew she desperately wanted to hold back.

“Say it again, baby.”

She looked back at me. “You’re such an asshole.”

“I know.” I went to her. She didn’t stop me when I put my hands on her shoulders and ran them down her bare arms. Gooseflesh raised her skin where I touched her. A tiny pulse beat near her temple and her eyes flashed with desire.

“Baby,” I whispered. “Please say it again.” I was close enough that my breath fluttered the stray hairs near her forehead. She shook her head and bit her bottom lip. But when Ariel finally met my eyes, I saw straight through to her soul.

“I love you.” She said it so quietly, I wouldn’t have heard it if I were still breathing.

“Again,” I said, sliding my hands to the small of her back. She gasped when I lifted her off the ground, hooking my arm beneath her knees.

“Chase,” she gasped.

“Again, baby.”

She buried her head into my chest. Her tears finally fell when she looked back up at me. “I hate you.”

“I know. Say it again anyway.”

I walked her to the bed and gently lay her down. I hovered over her, my hands planted on either side of her shoulders. “Tell me.”

She reached for me, trailing her fingers along my jaw, smoothing down my beard. “I love you,” she whispered and my heart cracked. Cracked and reknit, beating stronger than it had before.

“I love you,” she said again, louder this time. Ariel laced her fingers through my hair and pulled me down to her. She devoured me with hot kisses that seared us together.

“I love you.” Tears streamed down her face. I kicked off my boots and used my free hand to loosen my belt buckle.

“Chase,” she gasped. Oh yes. That. That and more. I wanted her to beg for me.

I grabbed two fistfuls of denim and jerked her jeans down. They slid past her slender hips with the button still snapped. I tossed them aside and pulled her panties out of the way. She had already soaked straight through the thin cotton fabric.

“Say it again,” I growled.

Ariel reared up, offering herself to me. I stroked myself once and teased her slick entrance with the hard tip of my cock.

“Please!” she gasped. “Oh God.”

“Say it, baby, one more time so I know you mean it.”

She slapped me lightly on the cheek then dug her nails into my back. The pain felt oh so good. “Yes,” she whispered, groaning for me. “Fuck. Yes. Chase. I love you. I love you. I love you.”

“That’s what I thought you said,” I answered through my smile. Then I slid myself home, sheathing myself to the root.

“I love you too,” I whispered in her ear. “Do you hear me, baby? I love you. I love you. And I’ll never let you go.”

She raised her hips and came for me, her walls shuddering hard around me.

* * *

Ariel woke right where she belonged, in my arms. How had I been so stupid to let her go, even for a day? Never again. Never, ever again. Moaning, she stirred as she emerged from the last webbed strands of slumber. She yawned and arched her back. I couldn’t help myself. I reached down and licked her nipple, loving the way it went hard beneath my tongue.

“Hey, you,” she said, smiling. A shy blush crept into her cheeks as she rolled to her hip and pressed her palm against my jaw.

“Hey, yourself. Anybody ever tell you you’re a hot mess in the morning?” I leaned forward and kissed her. She landed a playful slap against my chest.

“You’re awful. Downright evil.”

“Yeah? But you came back to me anyway.” I meant to tease her, but the second the words came out, my pulse spiked. I could have fucked this up for good. It had been so close.

“Chase?” she said.

“Yeah.”

“Don’t.” Ariel sat up, pulling the sheets around her.

“Don’t what, baby?”

“Don’t shut me out like that again. I know that there will be things you can’t tell me. I told you I’m not naive. I’m not asking you to change for me. But if we’re going to do this …”

“I know,” I said. I reached up and tucked a strand of gold-red hair behind her ear. “No walls.”

“Right. No walls. Breaking them down is my specialty.”

Laughing, I sat up with her. It was late. Full sunlight poked through the window blinds. “I wish we could stay right here all day.”

“Me too. But I’ve got an open house to plan. What about you? And I don’t need the details. But are you going to be in town tonight?”

I pulled her against me. She squealed as I settled her against my chest. Pressed against her backside, my dick started to grow hard.

“Oh, no, you don’t,” she said. “You’ve already got me saddle sore.”

Heat flashed through me. Fuck. If she kept talking like that, I’d have her bent over the side of the bed in about two seconds. “That’s my plan,” I said, snapping my teeth against her ear. “Give you something to remember me by when you’re not with me.”

She turned in my arms. “You think I’m likely to forget? Chase, what you do to me.” She took my hand and brought it to her chest. She pressed it between her breasts, right over her heart. I felt hers thundering beneath my hand. It was such a simple gesture but it meant everything. Ariel was trusting me with her heart. I’d been careless with it before because of my own need for self-preservation. I said a silent prayer that I’d be worthy of it from now on.

“You do the same and more to me, baby,” I said. “And I’m sorry. I’ve said it before but you need to know it. This shit is hard for me. I’ve been on my own my whole life.”

“And you’ve lost the people who were supposed to protect you. Chase, I understand. I’ve been there too. I’m not going to pretend that my experiences growing up were even in the same league as the horror you’ve lived through. I lost my mom too, yes. But my father was there to step up. He loved me. He protected me.”

I moved my hand away from Ariel’s heart and pressed my cheek there, circling my arms around her waist. She knelt; threading her hands through my hair she curled herself around me. Ariel was warm and soft and safe.

“Is this what home feels like?” I asked. I hardly meant to say it out loud. It was just a fleeting thought that came into my head, fluttering like butterfly wings. But Ariel didn’t miss a beat.

“I think it might be.”

“I’d forgotten.”

“I know. But Chase, if we’re going to do this, if this is us ... I need a promise from you.”

My throat ran dry and my whole body went rigid. No. She couldn’t ask. I couldn’t let her say the words.

“Don’t,” I whispered into her breast. “Don’t make me choose, Ariel.”

She pulled herself away from me, settling so we were eye to eye again. “I won’t make you choose,” she said. “I said I understood there would be things about your life you can’t tell me. I accept that. I just need to know that whatever you do tell me, let it be the truth. Don’t lie because you think you’re protecting me. Don’t shut me out. Not ever again.”

She searched my face, her green eyes darting left and right. Her question hung in the air. I rose up and answered her with a kiss. “I won’t shut you out. But I will protect you. I need you to make me a promise too.”

She bit her lip. With hooded eyes, she finally nodded. “Good,” I said. “There might come a day when I’m going to have to ask you to do something and I won’t be able to tell you why. I need you to promise me you’ll trust me when that time comes. And I need you to never ask me to go back to that fucking house on Hutchins Street again. If I’m going to ever truly put that horror behind me, the only way is forward. I can’t look back anymore.”

A crease formed between her eyes. She sucked in a breath and for a moment, Ariel looked like she wanted to either argue or say something else. Then her expression settled and she leaned down to kiss me. “I can do that.”

“Good. Now how much time do you have before you gotta go to work?” I grabbed her ass with both hands and gave her a firm squeeze.

“Chase!” she gasped.

I flipped her onto her back and grabbed her ankles. Saddle sore or not, I mean to claim my baby one more time. Rufus’s near feral growl outside the window stopped me. My back went rigid.

“Chase?”

“Shh,” I said, pulling myself away from her. The tiny hairs along my spine stood on end. A loud bang shook the building.

“What is it?” Ariel stood up. She scrambled from the bed and grabbed her t-shirt.

“Trouble,” I said. I was already on my feet stabbing my legs through my jeans. I shot Ariel a look of warning as I grabbed my weapon and holster.

“Down on the ground!” came the shout from the main room.

“Fuck,” I muttered. The door flew open and E.Z. burst in, his hair wild.

“We got company,” he said. Ariel was just wriggling into her jeans. “Sorry, darlin’.”

I raised a finger, warning Ariel to stay and wait. I should have known there was no chance of that. I shoved my boots on my feet and followed E.Z. out to the main room. Shit was already well in hand by the time I got there.

“Drop it!” Three ATF agents in blue windbreakers trained their weapons straight at me. I raised one hand and slowly lowered my Nine to the ground.

“Easy,” I said. “Nobody wants any trouble here.” The rest of the club members were already on their knees in the front room with their hands behind their heads. Another group of agents were busy cuffing their hands behind their backs, one by one.

“Shit,” E.Z. muttered behind me. Then he slowly knelt to the ground with his hands up.

I turned to Ariel. Her face had gone pure white and she raised her own hands. Mama Bear sat at the bar with her hands planted in front of her. “It’s okay, honey,” she said. “You just come on over and sit by me.”

One of the ATF agents gave Ariel a nod. She stepped around me, her eyes pleading and scared. I jerked my chin toward Mama Bear. “It’s okay, baby,” I said. “Just do what Mama Bear tells you.” Mama already had an arm around Ariel’s shoulders and a lethal stare fixed on the ATF agent in charge.

“Chase,” was Ariel’s choked reply. But there was nothing more I could say as the cold metal cuffs went around my wrists and an agent drove my head toward the floor.