CHAPTER THREE
‡
Shailyn was taken back in time the moment the windowpane became translucent. She immediately recognized those gentle grey eyes.
Townes Calvert was breathtaking.
He would disagree with her. She understood that he wasn’t what most women would call handsome, but there was a strong magnetism in his aura that was unmistakable.
She recalled distinctly the two-inch scar on his jawline and the story behind it. She’d traced the black eagle, globe, and anchor tattoo etched into his neck with her fingertips to the point where she could draw the exact duplicate on paper. She had…many times. She remembered the sensation of his long brown hair caressing over her shoulders when he kissed her as if it were just this morning. He still had the bump on the bridge of his nose that she found endearing, much to his dismay. All of that no longer mattered, though.
Shepherd Moss had most definitely seen to that.
“I’d like to go back to my house, please,” Shailyn requested softly, making sure her voice didn’t carry through the opening door of the conference room. She broke eye contact with the one man who hurt her in a way Moss never could, and she wasn’t about to enter the ring for another round. “Now, please.”
“Ms. Smith, you—”
“Please give up the pretense of calling me by that name.” Shailyn was mentally tired of these security games. “You know very well what my name is, Deputy U.S. Marshal Sturridge. Now please take me back home or I’ll be speaking to the U.S. Marshal for this district about your lack of cooperation.”
“Ms. Smith, the gentleman you know as Townes Calvert is in fact a Special Chief Deputy U.S. Marshal appointed by the previous Director of the United States Marshals Service and the U.S. Attorney General. He is the ranking Chief Deputy U.S. Marshal in the region right now. It is not an honorary title. I have to follow his orders. I’m not even sure his team is aware of his connection to the service, among other things.”
“Ms. Doyle?” Shailyn didn’t bother to turn around at the sound of another man’s voice. She would have felt slighted with Townes’ inability to collect her himself had she not known where they stood with one another. “My name is Sawyer Madison. I work for SSI, Safeguard Securities and Investigations. I’m sure you’re wondering—”
“No, I’m not wondering anything, Mr. Madison.” Shailyn slipped her cold hands into the pockets of her dress coat. She balled her fingers into the palms of her hands. “Sturridge, I’ll meet you downstairs. I’m not staying.”
“I’ve heard a lot of amazing things about you, Shailyn. I’m surprised that you would want to leave without hearing us out first. You are key to our strategy.”
Shailyn wouldn’t allow herself to be played by someone with an obvious agenda. Sawyer Madison didn’t know a thing about her other than what was in those files sitting on the conference table. Of that she was sure. Living through what Moss had done to her didn’t make her amazing. It only made her physically weaker, mentally chaste, and very lucky. Or unlucky, depending on one’s point of view.
She didn’t miss a step as she walked around Sturridge. He was still as a statue.
Why would Townes come for her now?
That question nagged at Shailyn as she walked through the office door and down the long hallway to where the elevator banks were located. The black suit he’d been wearing made him seem to be a part of either the FBI or the U.S. Marshals Service. It was hard to believe that he would have joined the federal government in any enterprise, especially considering his affiliation to the one percent motorcycle clubs. She wondered if he was still a patched member bearing the Nomad rocker.
Why was she even curious?
What Townes did with his life was of no concern to her.
“Shailyn.”
His voice brought her up short, as if a wall had appeared. There was a raspiness to his tone that was discernable only to him. She closed her eyes to ward off the onrushing memories, knowing she could never go back and reclaim her past from the wreckage.
“There’s nothing to say, Gunny,” Shailyn whispered, having no doubt that he heard her use his charter name.
It wasn’t coincidental that the nickname for his rank in the Corps and his charter name were the same. He’d gone by that handle for so long that at one point a large number of his associates in the one percent world never knew his given name. She’d had the privilege to know that particular nuance due to the closeness of their relationship at the time.
She was afraid to speak in a normal tone for fear she’d break down, but she didn’t want to appear weak. She cleared her throat and gathered what courage she had left. It was easier to use his familiar nickname as a form of self-defense, letting him know that she was a part of the past he’d left behind. He was a remembrance she would have given anything to have back, but that would never happen.
“You shouldn’t have come here. You’re not welcome.”
Shailyn forced her legs to move forward once again. It was getting harder and harder to breathe the longer she remained in his presence. He had taken all the air out of the building.
“Moss didn’t give either of us a choice.”
And there it was. He’d been forced to this conclusion. Townes hadn’t come to Maine for her. He’d come because of Moss. His intention wasn’t to help the U.S. Marshals transfer her to another small town under a different banal name in order to maintain her anonymity. He wanted Shepherd Moss, and the only way to draw him out was through her as bait.
“You always have a choice, Gunny. Moss isn’t in charge of your agenda. Or is he?” Shailyn braced herself as she turned around to face him. Her attempt at composure almost cracked before she managed to slip it in place. His grey eyes saw too much. She wondered if he could still read her like a book. She fought the urge to tug her black turtleneck a little higher to hide the scars. “It doesn’t matter. I still have a choice. And I’m choosing to go back to the life that was created for me. You don’t need me to solve your problems.”
“Moss will eventually find you.” Townes turned the tables a bit, causing her to question his original intention. “It’s only a matter of time.”
Shailyn came very close to asking why he thought she would be better off with him, but she stopped herself before the words could escape. He would take her sentiment the wrong way. It was abundantly clear that he still blamed himself for what had happened to her all those years ago. He couldn’t see past his precious, self-involved guilt to recognize the truth—only one man was responsible for what was done to her. His name was Shepherd Moss.
“Moss has had over four months to find me,” Shailyn pointed out, refusing to be drawn into a debate that neither one of them would win. “Other than you placing me at risk by bringing me here tonight, what makes today any different from yesterday?”
A strand of his long brown hair came loose from the tie at the base of his neck, but it didn’t hide the fact that his scar turned white in response to his clenched jaw. He seemed to think she was purposefully making his job harder than it needed to be in terms of her consent.
“What is it exactly you want from me, Townes?”
“I want you to come back home to Florida with me.”
Shailyn had to literally force herself to relax her hands. Her nails had dug into her palms at the mention of where her parents still resided. She hadn’t seen her mother and father for many years, though she had been officially reprimanded when the U.S. Marshals had discovered she’d contacted her parents by phone a couple of weeks ago. It was as if they’d expected her to shut off any emotions she had in her previous life due to their desire for seamless security.
Now, Townes wanted to take her home. Ignoring the double entendre, she wondered if he thought he could give her a taste of what she craved, only to then steal it away again? She wasn’t capable of handling the impact of that anymore.
“No. I can’t.”
Shailyn hadn’t expected Townes to close the distance between them, but he slowly advanced until he stood mere inches from her. She tried not to breathe, but it became involuntary. The faint scent of his cologne took away the years as if they were nothing more than dandelions gone to seed, blowing away in the wind. She was already shaking her head to deny his attempt to change her mind.
“I am so sorry.”
Those four words were said with such tender sincerity that he brought an immediate cascade of tears to her eyes. The remorse written across his rugged features broke her heart all over again. She tentatively reached up and found herself stroking his scar with her thumb in comfort.
“Had you come to me back then during the trial, I would have told you that you had nothing to be sorry for,” Shailyn murmured, hoping her words eased whatever guilt he still held close to his heart. All she’d ever wanted back then was for him to hold her and tell her it would all be okay. Instead, he’d turned into himself and believed he was solely to blame for her maiming. He was also mistaking her refusal to help him now due to a retaliation of sorts. That couldn’t be further from the truth. “It was my own mistake that put me in Moss’ path, not yours nor anyone else’s.”
“I was hired to protect you,” Townes reminded her forcefully, though he didn’t pull away from her touch. His grey eyes darkened upon his confession. “Instead, I became involved with you. I lost sight of my objective. I failed.”
“That isn’t the truth, and it certainly isn’t the reason I’m walking away now.”
Shailyn noticed right away that his warmth had radiated into her hand. She hadn’t felt heat like that in a very long time, so it was very hard for her to pull away. She did so anyway and let her hand drop as she took a step back.
“Why are you walking away when I’m offering you the chance to come out of hiding?”
“You aren’t offering me a chance at salvation, Townes.” Shailyn wished more than anything it didn’t have to be this way. “There is nothing I can do to prevent Moss from going after the people I love. Hasn’t he already proven that to you? Moss is on the Top Ten Most Wanted list, which means that the federal government will continue to monitor my family and close friends. Coming out of WITSEC could very well end that courtesy.”
“I won’t let that happen. I have the authority to continue their protection details until we resolve this case. My credentials don’t just consist of those with the U.S. Marshals Service.”
Shailyn didn’t doubt that Townes had done well for himself over the years. He wasn’t the same man she knew so long ago when he’d been so full of anger, bound for infamy. It was more than apparent he’d conquered at least some of the demons he had left over from the war, but he seemed to have replaced them with other more frightening lords. That was something she hadn’t asked for, and she would gladly take them back if it meant he could be free from the evil that had occupied her life thus far.
“Moss isn’t targeting only those close to you, Shailyn, and you know it,” Townes replied harshly, reminding her of those recent deaths that lay solely at her feet. Did he think she was so callous as not to feel remorse? “He’s been trying to draw you out since the day he escaped federal prison. Let’s give him what he wants, because it will only be then that he makes his mistake. Subsequently, and once and for all, I can correct my mistake.”
Shailyn so wanted to take Townes up on his offer, but unadulterated fear could be very crippling if one took heavy doses of it on a daily basis for three years. There were moments in her life where she’d thought that nothing could ever bring back the terror she’d once experienced, but then there were times like these that made her stand corrected.
“And what if he doesn’t make a mistake?” Shailyn managed to say through her dry lips as each and every scar on her body throbbed in memory. “What if Moss succeeds this time, and I have to endure every cut he sliced into my skin once again? What then, Townes? Will you end my suffering?”
*
Another day had passed without progress. These were the hours that were the hardest, but he would persevere as he always had.
Was Shailyn thinking of him? Was she in fear?
He gradually smiled as he blew out the candle, that lone breath descending him into complete darkness.