Chapter Thirteen
Later that afternoon, they packed the picnic things back into the carriage and headed to the Abbey. Patience felt relaxed and happy for the first time in months. Well, in years.
Truth be known, she had come very close to allowing Alex to consummate their marriage right there in the open air with the birds and the animals looking on. Thankfully, once his hand had touched her intimately, she’d regained her senses. Even if she wanted to allow Alex to continue, the thought of someone coming by had put a damper on whatever passion she’d felt.
She remembered similar feelings in various parts of her body when she and Alex had been younger, but the sensations hadn’t been so strong, or given her a sense of desperately needing something only he could give her.
As the gig moved over the grass, with the sun at their backs and their bodies swaying with the motion, Alex reached over and took her hand in his. He stroked the inside of her wrist with his thumb, causing a flush to rise from her middle to her face. It seemed to be his favorite pastime. She squirmed, then glanced at him to see if he was trying to muddle her brain again. He stared straight ahead as if nothing was amiss. She really should drag her hand away from him, but it felt so good.
By the time they reached the front door of the Abbey, Patience was hot, fidgety, and only too glad to end the ride. Alex dropped her hand to leave the gig, and she immediately felt the loss. He reached up and lowered her to the ground, her body sliding against his. The feel of her hardened nipples against his chest made her want to rub them back and forth.
Alex stared down at her, making her forget how closely they stood together, and that once more they were outdoors where anyone from the stables or the house could see them. He placed his knuckle under her chin and slowly lowered his head to kiss her. Her heart pounded and her knees grew weak. As his lips meet hers, she clung to his arms, afraid she would slither to the ground.
“Well, isn’t this cozy? Didn’t you two have enough of each other last night?” Lord Hawkins stood not more than ten feet from them, his hands on his hips and a huge grin on his face.
Patience was mortified. Why did they always end up with an audience when he kissed her? Perhaps if they didn’t do this sort of thing outside it wouldn’t happen. Grateful they hadn’t been caught at the picnic, with her skirts practically tossed over her head, she pulled away from Alex and picked up the basket for lack of something better to do. She scurried away and passed Lord Hawkins, giving him a quick curtsy.
She smiled at Coombs as he opened the door for her.
“Patience, there you are, dear.” The dowager duchess stepped off the bottom step of the wide staircase and floated toward her.
Patience envied how the dowager could move so easily without seeming to take a step.
“Yes, Your Grace. May I help you with something?”
“I wanted to tell you that once we return to London, please leave your afternoons free, if possible. As the new Duchess of Bedford, you must be introduced to all the right people, the ones you need to know. We will be making afternoon calls several days a week.”
Patience swallowed the alarming feeling in her stomach. Of course, as the new duchess, there would be a significant role for her to play in the ton. She should be grateful that her mother-in-law was willing to help her along. The offer to introduce her had never come while Cyrus was alive. But then, they’d never made it as far as the altar.
Thank God.
It was too bad Alex and his mother could not enjoy an amicable relationship. She knew his parents had strongly objected to him purchasing his colors when he had left home, and he had not kept in contact with his family while he served in the military. It appeared both Alex and her mother-in-law were both on the stubborn side.
“Yes, I will be grateful for you to introduce me. I’m afraid I am feeling a bit nervous about assuming my new role in Society.”
The dowager nodded. “That is good. If you are a bit nervous, then you will watch your step. Although, with your rank there wouldn’t be anyone who would dare to snub you, but it will go much smoother if you have all the right people in line.”
With a pat on Patience’s cheek, the dowager sailed away toward one of the drawing rooms, leaving behind the rustle of her skirts and the scent of roses.
Patience entered the drawing room where everyone had gathered to wait for the dinner announcement. Alex stood with Lord Hawkins, Lord Campbell, and Mr. Templeton. Her mother-in-law had requested a tray in her room, so it was just her and the four men for dinner.
“Ah, here comes the beautiful Duchess of Bedford now.” Lord Hawkins strolled across the room and took her hand, bowing over it expertly.
Patience smiled and offered a curtsy.
Alex edged his friend aside with a glower and took her arm, tucking it into his. “You are a duchess, you do not curtsy to him.”
The three men all burst out laughing. “Bedford, I never thought I’d see the day you married, let alone become a besotted, jealous husband.” Mr. Templeton slapped Alex on the back.
“I am neither besotted nor jealous.” He looked down at Patience. “Would you like a sherry before dinner?”
She shook her head. Was he besotted and jealous? Not likely. Ever since his return, she’d felt him holding back from her. Her young Alex had become a cautious, controlled, older Alex. A man of whom she was not too sure of her own feelings.
The five of them chatted easily until Coombs announced dinner. Alex escorted her to the dining room and pulled out her chair. She was enjoying his friends’ company. She hadn’t much exposure to gentlemen of the ton, and she found these three to be quite entertaining. It seemed their favorite topic of conversation was teasing her husband.
Mr. Templeton took the seat next to her, and immediately began questioning her about her cousin, Suzanna. Interesting, that.
…
After Patience had retired for the night, Alex settled in the large leather chair in the library, and propped his feet up on his desk. He held a glass of brandy, swirling the brown liquid around. Hawk, Cam, and Templeton sprawled in various chairs throughout the room, also holding glasses.
“The duchess and I are leaving the day after next for London. I’ve already sent a message to the War Department that Loverly has been spotted here. I took Patience on a picnic today for the dual purpose of enjoying some time together and surveying the area to see if anything was amiss.”
“Not the best of ideas to expose your wife to that, Bedford.”
Alex waved his hand. “I had two pistols with me, and unbeknownst to her, two footmen following us. She was well protected.” He dropped his feet and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees as he regarded them. “However, that is what I want to speak to all of you about before you take off for London tomorrow.
“What worries me is Loverly being here the day we got married. Was he here for that purpose? Had he learned about it somehow and came to threaten me through my wife, or was it happenstance that he showed up here on our wedding day?”
Hawk stood and refilled his glass. “I’m leaning toward him coming here on purpose to get a look at your wife. The announcement was in the papers of the day and time. What other reason would he have? But in any event, what do you want us to do?”
“Once we return to London, I will be attending some social events with my wife. She deserves a little bit of entertainment, but with having to work with the Home Office and the War Department to catch Loverly, I won’t always be available. I will also want someone with her every time she leaves the house until that man is caught.”
“Will you be telling her what’s going on?” Templeton downed the last of his drink and shook his head when Hawk held up the decanter.
“No. I prefer she not worry about it. I don’t think he’s foolish enough to come after her, but on the other hand, everything he’s done so far has smacked of stupidity. In any event, I want to make sure she is watched.”
Hawk took his seat again. “Her Grace does not seem to be a simpleminded woman to me. Won’t she be a bit curious as to why we’re always about?”
Alex nodded. “That’s where I expect you all to use the charm you’ve been practicing on the ladies all these years. I am certain you can keep an eye on her without her becoming suspicious.”
“I have a question,” Cam said. “Whether you admit it or not, you are a tiny bit possessive of the duchess. If we keep close tabs on her, will we be meeting you in the boxing ring at Gentleman Jim’s?”
“Or on a field of honor at the crack of dawn?” Templeton smirked.
“It’s very simple. Keep your eyes on her and your hands off. Then we won’t be meeting either place.”
He scowled when all three laughed, then slapped his hands on his thighs and stood. “I will leave you now. I wish you a safe journey tomorrow, and I will see you in London.” He strode across the room and hurried upstairs to his bedchamber. Maybe he could use his persuasive skills to lure Patience into his bed.
He quickly removed his jacket, waistcoat, and cravat, then knocked on the door separating their rooms.
“Yes?”
Good, she was still awake. She sat up in bed, a candelabra alongside her to provide light for the book she was reading.
“I came to wish you a good night and speak about our return to London.”
She smiled and placed the book upside down on her lap. “I thought perhaps you would spend more time with your friends.”
He sat next to her, trying not to think about them on the bed, with her barely dressed. “They will be leaving early in the morning, so I doubt they will keep from their beds much longer.”
“Tell me about your relationship with them. I know you were all friends at Eton. Mr. Templeton told me that. But had you kept in touch with them once you purchased your colors?”
The light from the candelabra cast shadows on her and turned her skin to a golden glow. Her green eyes drew him in, giving him a sense of being able to see into her soul. She had been a pretty young girl who had turned into a stunning woman. And she was his.
Or should be.
“Hawk fought alongside me at Waterloo, but sold out once the smoke from the battle had cleared. Templeton and Cam had been in military service for a couple of years, but sold their colors, as well. Since I had nothing to come back to, I stayed in, but we did keep up with the occasional letters.”
She reached out and touched his forearm. “I’m sorry you felt you had nothing to come back to.”
Alex stiffened. “There is no need for sorrow.”
Patience withdrew her hand from his arm. Damn, he was always pushing her away. The last thing he needed was her delving into his military service. “I thought you and Cyrus had married, and my parents and I had never gotten along. It seemed the best thing to do was stay in service to the king.”
It was hard for him to concentrate on the conversation with her warm body next to his. He felt her heat and smelled her scent. She wore a high-necked night rail that he wanted to slide off her shoulders and kiss her skin turned golden by the candlelight. Her hair had been braided, the long rope draped over her shoulder to rest on her pert breast.
“You were going to speak about London?”
Was that breathlessness he heard in her voice? Could it be she was as aware of their nearness as he was? Slowly her palm skimmed his arm, and then she placed her hand in her lap. She shuddered a bit and licked her lips, and his cock gave a military salute.
…
Patience felt the same sense of restlessness from before when Alex had kissed her in front of the house and at the picnic. Her gown suddenly seemed scratchy against her skin. Her nipples had hardened and the place between her legs moistened.
She wished Alex didn’t look at her that way. His eyes glowed with a savage inner fire that warmed her even further, which made her want to toss the blankets aside and strip off her night rail. His breathing had increased right along with hers, his nostrils flaring like an animal sensing its prey. She did not have to be well schooled in the ways of men and women to know they were both feeling desire again.
Very strong desire.
But she needed to keep him away. She’d told him, and he’d agreed—reluctantly—to court her properly before they became man and wife in truth. No more bullying, even if the result was pleasure. She just hadn’t known how difficult it would be for her.
Alex cupped her face and lowered his mouth to hers. His fingers tangled in her hair, loosening her braid. Something in his manner soothed her at the same time it excited her. She felt wanted, desired, and protected all at the same time. He nibbled at her lips, and she opened to the welcoming assault with his tongue. A slight moan from her had him pulling her flat against his chest.
He released her mouth and kissed her eyes, her nose, and the soft skin under her jaw. With her eyes closed, her senses heightened, and she could see colors in her mind—warm, soft, and electrifying. His hand came around from her back to settle on her chest. Slowly, ever so slowly, he continued to offer soft kisses behind her ear while he inched his palm down until he cupped her breast, his thumb flicking her nipple and causing ripples in the place between her legs.
Patience’s head fell back with a moan. He quickly unfastened the buttons on her gown and drew her breast out. Ducking his head, he licked her nipple then ran his tongue around the pouting bud. He released her breast and tugged at the neckline of her night rail, as he whispered in her ear, “Sweetheart, take your gown off.”
She shook her head, knowing this was not a good idea. Why not, she couldn’t remember, though. Before she could form the words, he had unfastened more closings and drew the gown off her shoulders to puddle in her lap. His large warm hands on her back as he kneaded the muscles there brought forth another moan.
“God, I want you so much, Patience.” He took her hand and placed it on his crotch. “Do you feel that? That’s what you do to me.”
She gave the bulge in his breeches a squeeze and he blew out a deep breath through his teeth. His mouth plundered hers as he moved her back onto the mattress until he was lying on top of her. One hand teased her nipple while the other hand slowly brought the hem of her gown up. “Open your legs.”
Before those words registered, his warm palm covered her woman’s place, and he pushed a finger into her opening. She stiffened and sucked in a breath. He was doing it again, making her forget herself, and her vow to wait until she was truly ready to make love to him. “No.” She shoved at his chest, and he moved back, his eyes glazed.
She scooted back and drew the gown up to cover her breasts. “No. We agreed to wait.”
“Wait? For what? And no, we did not agree. You demanded and I just went along with it.” His voice was so raspy she hardly recognized it.
“Yes, Your Grace. Tell me, how does it feel to have demands made of you? How does it feel to have no control over anything in your life? Of your very life? How does it feel to be told that regardless of your wants and desires, they must be pushed aside to accommodate someone else’s wishes and desires? Well, I have control over my body, and I will not share it until I am ready.
“And I am not ready. I told you. I don’t want to be forced.” She heard the tears in her voice and tried very hard to control them, but one slipped out and slid down her cheek. She didn’t even know why she was crying. The tears just seemed to be there.
“Dear God, woman. I would never force you. I may have done some terrible things, but I have never forced my attentions on a woman in my entire life, and I certainly wouldn’t start with my own wife.”
By this time, the tears flowed freely down her cheeks. The pain from all the years of tamping down her feelings, hopes, and dreams bubbled to the surface, breaking free like a dam bursting forth.
He ran his fingers through his hair and reached for her. “Ah, honey, don’t cry.” When she moved back, he said, “No. I won’t continue. I just want to hold you.”
She allowed him to take her into his arms. Again, she felt safe. She buried her face against his chest, feeling as if she wanted to burrow into him. Hide from the world. From her new position in life. From her wildly conflicting feelings. He rubbed her back until her sobs turned to soft hiccups.
“Here, let me help you with your gown.” He pulled it up and refastened it, then wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. He placed his large hand at the back of her head and tucked her head against his strong, warm chest.
For the life of her she couldn’t understand why she kept denying him. Somewhere deep inside, she was afraid once they came together as husband and wife she would lose that little bit of control she’d gained in their relationship. Until she truly knew this new Alex, she had to be cautious. She dared not allow herself to be used and abused—not like her mother, because Alex would never hurt her—but the total lack of concern for her feelings, thoughts, and considerations.
After a few minutes, he eased back and stared at her. “Why don’t you lie down and try to sleep.”
She slid down and he pulled the covers up to her chin. She smiled to herself. Covering temptation, perhaps? He edged off the bed, then bent to kiss her on the forehead. “Sleep well, sweeting. Tomorrow will be a busy day with packing and getting ready to leave for London.”
He moved back and turned to leave the room.
“Alex?”
He looked back over his shoulder as he reached for the door. “Yes?”
“Thank you.”
He gave her a two-finger salute and left the room. Even though she had been the one to put a halt to his lovemaking and push him away, she had been left with a frustrated, inflamed body. Whatever these feelings were, she knew Alex could make it go away with his expert hands and mouth. Punching her pillow, she turned and tried to sleep.
She could hear him moving around his room, and she fought the urge to call him back. After tossing and turning for at least another hour, she finally fell into a fitful sleep.