CHAPTER FIVE

Mia

Grayson’s warning twists me in knots and ultimately anger takes root. I whirl around to face him. “You don’t get to say what we do or don’t do. You don’t get to decide if we kiss or not. You don’t get to decide if we start or stop. You’re not in control anymore.”

“I was never in control,” he says, his voice tight with returned anger. “Not with you.”

“Are you kidding me? You controlled everything in the past. I was making my first real career move and your father—you, basically—owned the company. You had money and power and I came from nothing. You were this force of nature I wanted to be near. I wanted to learn from you. I wanted to be with you. You consumed me. I—this is not then. You’re not in control this time.”

His hands come down on my arms and he pulls me to him. “It sure as hell didn’t feel like I was in control when you left, and I bled out both times, Mia. Both fucking times.”

Both times.

He means after the funeral, which is just another knife in my chest.

“Look at us,” I say. “This is who we are, Grayson. Pain and anger. Why would you want to keep me here?”

The doorbell rings and he curses, but he doesn’t let me go. “Because the pain and anger are about a betrayal that never fucking happened.” He tangles his fingers in my hair. “We have never fought this out honestly and completely. And because of this.” His mouth closes down on mine, his tongue stroking deep, and every part of me inside and out, melts into him, into us, when I don’t mean to. The doorbell rings again and he tears his mouth from mine. “We’re still us. We’re still us.”

“I don’t know what that means anymore.”

“You will,” he promises, his hands coming down on my arms once more. “Mia—”

The doorbell rings again and he grimaces. “Damn it. They aren’t going away. I have to let them in.”

“You do,” I say. “We need to talk with them about Ri.”

“Ri,” he repeats tightly. “Yes. Let’s talk about Ri.” He releases me, a cold snap in the air as he motions me forward.

I don’t like this reaction. I don’t like what he thinks is between Ri and I, but I decide maybe it works right now, especially where Ri is concerned. He needs to find that hard, cold part of himself and find it now. He needs to focus on the war before him, not on me, not on us. With that thought, I launch myself across the room, hurrying up the stairs, and I half expect his hand on mine at any moment, but it doesn’t happen. I’ve hit a nerve in him and some part of me revels in the fact that he has nerves to be hit. If he didn’t care about me, he wouldn’t, but I don’t know why it matters. I don’t want to do love his way.

I reach the upper level and I decide to offer Grayson privacy with his team to explain why I’m here, and I do so without his permission. I cross the living room and head out to the upstairs patio that oversees a rectangular infinity pool that seems to flow right into the ocean when it doesn’t. I flip on the heater and ignore the round table that he often uses for meetings. Instead, I stand at the railing overlooking the pool, watching the now steady, but slower flow of raindrops hit its surface.

“Mia.”

At the sound of Eric’s voice, I turn to find him joining me, his light brown hair tousled, his blue eyes as intelligent as ever, but then why wouldn’t they be? This is a man who’s been by Grayson’s side, helping him make billions, for damn near a decade. “Hi, Eric,” I say, hugging myself.

“It’s been a long time,” he says, setting his briefcase on the table, while his snug black tee allows me a clear view of his tattoo sleeve that was once a lion with blue eyes, and now travels down his arm in a collage of clocks and skulls. “I haven’t seen you since—” He stops himself, his lips thinning.

“The funeral,” I supply. “I can’t believe that’s been a year now.”

“I know,” he says. “I can’t either. I don’t know how the hell Grayson lives in this place, aside from the fact that he’s in the city so damn much.” He shakes his head. “Enough of that, though. Davis needed Grayson to call an investor. They’ll be right here.”

“Good. I’m glad to have a moment with you. Maybe you’ll listen before they get here because I’m not sure Grayson will. He’s in trouble.”

“If you’re here, then he must be.” He closes the space between us. “Talk to me.”

“I’ll tell you what I’ve told him.” I tell him everything, the job, the interview, what I overheard at the DA’s office. “They were talking about Grayson. I know they were and I saw that card on Ri’s desk. Please tell me that you see that as the problem I do.”

He narrows his eyes at me. “Why are you here if you’re with Ri?”

“I’m not with Ri, and I’m smart enough to see the writing on the wall. He wants me to taunt Grayson. I’m a token in a game.”

“And yet you went to him.”

“I took a job, and I’m certain you know more about why than maybe I did before—” I stop myself. “At the time, I admit I was angry at Grayson and hurt. I just needed a place to go.”

“You knew how he’d feel about you going to Ri.”

“Do you know how I felt about what he did?” I hold up a hand. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not with Ri and I’m tired of being a token in a game between two powerful men.”

“You’re not a token,” Eric says. “You’re the woman Grayson loves and that hasn’t changed. You’re a weapon Ri is using against him.”

“I know that now,” I say. “That’s why I’m here. I’m not going to be a weapon against Grayson. Not now or ever.”

Grayson steps onto the porch and our eyes meet, the charge between us cracking. “I never intended to be a weapon against you, Grayson. Please believe that.”

Grayson lowers his lashes, the lines of his face hard and sharp. He’s struggling to maintain control, and he never struggles to maintain control, because of me. Because we both know I’m not completely innocent. I did leave him and go to his enemy. I did know that would upset him. I wanted to hurt him the way he hurt me.

“I regret it,” I breathe out, saying the words I should have said a long time ago, the words I’d rather say to him alone. “I regret going to him, Grayson.”

His lashes lift and I don’t find forgiveness or understanding. I find anger.