Danika

“We’re not taking no for an answer.”

I’m under attack. It’s Tuesday at five-thirty. There’s a blonde and a redhead in the doorway of my bedroom, and they’ve invited me on something called a girls’ night out.

“Are you crazy?” I set down the NYPD recruit handbook I’m studying. “I can’t drink tonight. I have training in the morning.”

“I won’t be drinking,” says Katie. “We can ply Ever with booze and toast our sensible decision-making skills.”

Ever nods. “See? It’s a win for all parties involved.”

I’m tempted to say yes for a couple reasons. One, Katie has only started getting comfortable setting foot inside a bar. She lost her brother to a drunk driver, and Jack is a recovering alcoholic, so alcohol is kind of her nemesis. But she’s making an effort to have fun in spite of being around other people drinking, like her friends, so I want to support her in that. Especially because Jack’s support can only go so far before he risks slipping. I can practically feel him Jedi mind tricking me from the living room, begging me to go keep an eye on his girl.

Number two reason I want to go out? To distract myself from the fact that Greer hasn’t answered any of my phone calls in four days.

To be fair, I’ve been calling him at times when I predict he’s busy. Such as the beginning and ends of a shift when briefings are taking place. So I guess we’re both avoiding each other. I keep reminding myself I have nothing to feel guilty about. I went to Midtown Precinct North and filed an incident report about being threatened outside my parents’ building. My cousin’s school is taking precautions and holding a faculty meeting about student safety, in light of Robbie being harassed and threatened, through me. There is absolutely no reason why I should be relieved when Greer doesn’t answer his phone. But I am. Because I’m positive my lie of omission is going to come through in my voice.

He’s been so honest with me that the whole situation isn’t sitting right. And now we’re not talking at all. Pretty ironic, considering I kept Greer in the dark so we wouldn’t erase the progress we’d made. I’m starting to wonder if I imagined that progress in the first place.

“See?” Ever drops onto the edge of the bed, totally unaware of the crater in my stomach. “She’s thinking too hard. A change of scenery is definitely in order.”

Katie crosses her arms. “I concur.”

Maybe they’re right. I’ve been staring at this textbook so long, the words are starting to blur together. My cell phone is like a time bomb sitting on my dresser, taunting me with every second it doesn’t ring. I’m getting psyched out knowing Greer is scheduled as our instructor tomorrow. A non-cop-related diversion might be exactly what I need.

“Okay, fine.” I hold up both hands when they start to happy dance. “But I need to be in bed by ten o’clock. No exceptions. Sprints and takedowns are hard enough without a sore head.” I come to my feet. “And I want Thai food first.”

Ever slaps a hand over her heart. “I want Thai food, too.”

“Screw it.” It’s 10:29 when I hoist my fourth gin and tonic. “I’m pulling an all-nighter.”

Katie giggles into her Sprite and if I didn’t know better, I would think the carbonation is making her tipsy. Or maybe being ridiculous is contagious. That’s exactly what I’m being. Ri-damn-diculous. But it feels so good to misplace my common sense for one night. For months, I’ve been on the straight and narrow so I could be in top form at the academy. Furthermore, I weathered the storm of Charlie and Jack falling down the romance rabbit hole. I can’t even remember the last time I drank too much and acted irresponsibly. What a shame.

I mean, we’re only two blocks from the apartment and The Late Show isn’t even on yet, so this isn’t quite the rebellion of the century, but lately it’s what I consider letting my hair down.

My hair is down, coincidentally, curling in all the right places. Ever tossed a short-ish pink T-shirt dress at me from Charlie’s room, so I’ve thrown that on with some wedges. We’re sitting at a high-top table, and I’ve noticed some fellas at the bar looking in my direction. I’m kind of enjoying the attention, too, to be honest. Possibly because four cocktails, not to mention that wine at dinner, have put me firmly in the camp of being annoyed at Greer. How dare he ignore my calls.

“No, no . . .” Ever leans in, a chunk of blonde hair landing in her drink. “An all-nighter is not a bad idea. If you don’t go to sleep, you can’t be hungover. It’s science.”

I lean in for a sip and poke myself in the eye with the cocktail straw. “That makes so much sense right now.”

“Am I to be the voice of reason here?” Katie gives a sharp sigh. “I never get to be the bad influence. It reminds me of when I used to play Barbies with my neighbor growing up, she always made me be Ken.”

“Let it out.” Ever says, one eye squinted. “Purge that anger.”

“I am bloody angry about it.” Katie sniffs. “Made me talk in a man’s voice and everything, she did. All I wanted to do was brush Barbie’s hair.”

“Wait.” A laugh builds in my belly. “I can’t tell anymore if we’re drunk or Katie is drunk.”

Ever snort giggles, followed by Katie.

“Okay . . .” I push my drink to the side. “I have to ask. Did the guys encourage you to take me out tonight? Because they’re worried about my non-relationship with Greer?”

“Uh, no.” No mistaking Ever’s expression. She’s miffed. “We’re worried about your non-relationship. The guys are, too, but this is about us. Me and Katie love your ass, too, you know.”

Katie nods. “It’s true. I love your ass.”

I lean over and take a sip of Katie’s Sprite to make sure it isn’t spiked. “I’m sorry, I can just feel everyone in the apartment wanting to know the story. But there is no story. Greer doesn’t want a relationship. And every time I think he’s changing his mind, he backs off.”

“He’s been so good to Jack lately. Pushing him harder, where he used to just write him off.” Katie shakes her head slowly. “That’s proof he can change.”

Ever seems thoughtful. “Charlie says Greer has always been kind of a mystery. When his partner died, he closed up even more.”

I sense she wants to keep going. This girl talk is making me feel better in a way I didn’t expect, so I gesture for her to continue. “But . . . ?”

“But.” Ever stirs her drink. “Charlie had to come to terms with his mother leaving—the why of it—before our relationship could work. I know Greer lost his partner and took it really hard, but Charlie has no idea how Greer feels about their mother taking off. Greer won’t talk about it.” She shrugs. “I’m just wondering if it’s part of the reason he keeps backing off when he clearly has it bad for you.”

“So bad,” adds Katie, looking a little wistful. “If he was Ken and you were Barbie, he would throw himself in front of the pink convertible for you.”

A laugh bursts out of me, but it fades fast. I thought I’d gotten to the middle of Greer’s issues, but maybe I’m still on the surface. Maybe not answering my calls is his way of telling me I’ll never get past his tough outer layer.

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” Ever says, her eyes concerned. “Should we do a shot?”

“You didn’t upset me,” I say too quickly. “And yes to a shot. But we better cut Katie off before she starts in on the Barbie Dreamhouse.”

Katie sits up straighter. “There was enough room for Ken to live there, too. Quite comfortably.”

Just as Ever signals the waitress to order shots, my phone goes off on the table. I have it flipped over so I can’t see the screen, and for a second, my belly fills with helium thinking it could be Greer. But no. It’s my mother. Because this is my life.

“Hey, Mom.”

“Oh, you’re awake. I was just going to leave a message. Danika, did your father tell you—” She breaks off. “Where are you?”

“I’m just out for a late dinner with Ever and Katie.”

It’s not a lie. We had dinner. My mother is old-school, though, and I’d like to avoid a speech about the dangers awaiting impressionable young ladies in drinking establishments. She’d be offering me up as next week’s prayer request at church.

“Dinner. O-kay.” She might be old-school, but she isn’t dumb. I’ll blame my forgetting that on the gin. “Well, I just wanted to let you know . . . my bike is back. Your lieutenant dropped it off himself a few hours ago. I was out shopping, but your father was here.” My father shouts something in the background, but it’s muffled. “Your father says the lieutenant has an honest handshake. Honestly, Danika, this man I married is crazy.”

“No, I . . . yeah. He probably does have a good handshake,” I murmur. My lips are having a hard time moving, because my brain is taking up all available energy. Oh, also my heart. There’s a lasso tightening around it, squeezing, squeezing. “He’s . . . Greer just showed up with your stolen bike?”

“Yes.”

Ever and Katie lean toward me with dropped jaws.

“Did he say anything?”

My mother relays the question to my father at ninety decibels. After a pause and more muffled shouting from my father, she’s back. “He told your father I need to stop propping open the door downstairs. I’m not so enamored of your lieutenant anymore.”

Oh God. Now I’m thinking of Greer lecturing someone, all stone-faced and gruff. I’m tingly all the way down to my toes. My hand is wedged between my breasts and pressing down, trying to connect with my rapid-fire heartbeat. “He’s not my lieutenant.”

Ever and Katie snort. So does my mom. “You think the police give this kind of service to everyone? What kind of a stubborn girl did I raise?”

Properly chastised, I blow out a breath, already knowing where I’m going tonight. Spoiler: it’s not my own apartment. “I’ll talk to you later, Mom. Go out and start your rides again tomorrow.”

“I’m planning on it. Good night.”

“Night.”

When I hang up the call, Katie is trying to subdue a smile and failing. Ever’s fingers are flying across the keypad of her phone like her life depends on it. “Who are you texting?”

“Who do you think?” She blows a stray blonde hair out of her face. “I’m texting Charlie to get his brother’s address for you. Unless you already have it?”

“No.” She raises an eyebrow at me. I wave a hand at her phone. “Well, keep going.”