I see the stupid woman with Professor Leeds take him by the hand. I’m watching out of the corner of my eye while I fake laugh at whatever the hell Benjamin said.

Benjamin bought me a drink and invited me to sit down with him and his “lads.” I accepted because I thought it would make Professor Leeds jealous...and judging by the way he keeps looking over at me, the plan might be working.

But now that woman is touching him, and I’m the one feeling foolish and jealous.

I’m again reminded how stupid and childish I’ve been, and seeing this unfold in front of me is making me think this whole plan to tell Professor Leeds how I really feel was just as misguided as being interested in him in the first place.

I avoid looking at him, instead listening to Benjamin brag about how good he is at soccer. He calls it football, of course, but it will always be soccer to me.

One of his friends laughs. “Bennie is just like Arsenal, always trying to walk it in!”

“Speaking of Arsenal,” Benjamin says. “Did you see that ludicrous display last night?”

I try my hardest not to yawn. “I’m going to go to the bathroom.”

They nod to me, and I get up from my stool.

I could just leave. I should, really. I do have to pee first, though, but getting to the bathroom means walking right past Professor Leeds and that woman.

I try not to look at them, but right as I pass by them, with my eyes down, I feel a hand tap me on my shoulder.

I look up to see that she touched me.

“You’re one of Elijah’s students,” she says. “He was just talking about you.”

I look at both of them. I should just politely nod, say hello, and walk away. But anger surges through me, and the adrenaline numbs all the parts of my brain that can make good decisions.

“Yes,” I say. “I am. And you are?”

She laughs, and Professor Leeds looks on nervously.

“I’m Dr. Woods,” she says.

“Oh,” I say. “So you two are colleagues.”

I throw them an accusatory glare. “What does a German Lit professor and a math professor have to talk about, really?”

“All kinds of things,” Dr. Woods says, eyeing Professor Leeds over with a stupid, knowing glance.

“I see,” I say. “I notice she called you Elijah, Dr. Leeds. Do colleagues really use du to each other?”

“Do?” Dr. Woods asks. “What do you mean?”

“Never mind,” I say. “I’ll leave you two to it; it sounds like you have so much in common.”

I turn to walk off, but Professor Leeds grabs hold of my wrist, holding me back. He stands up and glares at me.

“What?” I snap.

“Ms. Faria,” he says. “Step outside with me.”

He tugs on my arm, and he doesn’t soften his grip as he drags me toward the door. I see Dr. Woods shoot a jealous look at me as Professor Leeds drags me outside.

When we are clear of the door, he takes me further away from the building. There’s a small little miniature park bordering the building, encircled and walled off by flowers and shrubbery, and he only lets go of me when we reach it and are inside. It’s dark out, and it feels like—for the first time ever—we are truly alone with each other.

“I don’t think your date was happy to see you drag me out by the wrist, Professor Leeds.”

“She wasn’t my date,” he snarls.

“You were going to sleep with her, though, weren’t you?”

“How is that any of your business?” he asks.

I scoff and cross my arms. “I guess it’s not, but you didn’t drag me out here just to say ‘Good Day’ to me, did you? You can’t even say that this time since it’s already evening.”

“What are you talking about?”

He leans closer toward me. We’ve never stood this close to each other. There’s always been a desk between us.

“You always dismiss me,” I say. “Maybe this time I’ll dismiss you then. Good evening, Professor Leeds.”

As I start to walk away, he grabs me again. “Tell me what you are on about.”

I turn back around and look up at him. There’s a real darkness in his eyes now.

“So you don’t want me to go,” I say. “But time is running out, so we can’t keep bullshitting each other. Let’s strike a deal. While we are still in this park, let’s only speak the complete truth to each other.”

I watch his reaction, and see him nod his head ever so slightly.

“You speak first,” I say.

“I just signed a three-year contract with Oxford,” he says. “I’ve worked my whole life for this.”

I shift then ever so slightly closer toward him. Already I can smell his masculine scent, but I want him to know and feel that if he wants me, he just needs to reach out and take me.

“So you’re telling the truth,” I say. “But you also left a lot unsaid.”

“You know—or maybe you don’t—Oxford’s policy on professionalism for its staff.”

“Professionalism,” I say. “What other words are you leaving unsaid by using that word?”

My heart is pounding so hard in my chest that I’m worried I’ll have some kind of panic attack, but I decide it’s now or never, and seize the moment. I reach up and put my hand right on Professor Leeds’ chest, and hold it there. His heart is beating almost as hard as mine.

“Ms. Faria,” he says. “I’m saying we can’t do this. I’d lose everything.”

“You’d have me,” I say, looking into his eyes. I feel my hand trembling against his chest, and I’m too afraid to move it. “That’s worth something, at least, right?”

“I’d have you?” he asks. “You’d stay here? How?”

“I…” I mumble. “I don’t know. I’d transfer, I guess.”

“Oxford isn’t accepting transfer students from the U.S. Without a student visa, you’d have to leave.”

“I can come back for six months as a tourist, and…”

“And what?” he asks. “Then what? I’d lose my job, and you’d have to drop out of university to stay here for six months…”

Despite his harsh words, his strong hand reaches out and covers mine. He presses my hand tighter against his chest. It’s the first time we’ve really touched each other, and it’s so much more than I ever imagined two hands touching could be.

He looks at me for a long moment, then says, “It would be a terrible decision for both of us, but still, I’m trying to convince myself it’s worth it. I’m trying to justify it, because…”

He trails off.

“Because you want me,” I whisper. “And because you know I’d give myself to you, however you want it.”

He moves my hand lower down his chest. I feel it slide across his cut abs through his shirt, and finally it stops on his belt.

“Do you want me to tell you what I’m thinking about right now, Ms. Faria?”

I nod.

“Feel for yourself,” he says.

I slide my hand down, and I feel his hard cock pressing against his trousers. It’s way bigger than I’d expected, and I can feel its pulsing warmly against my hand.

‘Tell me what you’re thinking,” I say.

“I have complicated tastes,” he says.

“Tell me. I want to taste just right for you.”

“You’d have to do everything I say,” he says. “Even if it made no sense. You couldn’t question me, not ever.”

I look at him with a renewed sense of wonder. I think I know what he’s talking about, what kind of kink this is, but it’s never something I’ve ever thought about doing. Hearing him say it in that commanding tone, though, I realize with a sudden urgency that I want it badly. I’ve always wanted it, but I just never knew it until this moment.

“Yes,” I say. “I’ll do it. Whatever you ask of me.”

I squeeze his cock through the material.

“Take your hand off me,” he says.

“But…”

“Off,” he orders.

I let go.

“You haven’t earned it yet,” he says. “You’ve been a bad girl, and I haven’t punished you. Why should you be rewarded for being so naughty?”

Jesus. I feel myself becoming soaking wet, and I want so desperately for him to punish me. Even if it will hurt.

“Punish me then,” I whisper, a tonic of fear and adrenaline and wonder all pumping through my blood so hard that my ears burn hot.

He grins at me. It’s not like before, though. Some kind of darkness has overtaken his gaze and smile. He licks his lips, and my eyes track his tongue’s movement, unable to look away.

His hands move, and I watch as he reaches up to his tie. He pulls at the knot, undoing the light-blue cloth—which looks almost steel grey in the dim night—with slow, steady precision.

He’s taking off his tie. Is he going to take his shirt off, too? Here, in this garden, where anyone could walk by and see us? Does he expect me to do the same?

Just as the fear becomes invigorating, surging through me and overflowing like a flooded river, it paralyzes me. I don’t dare move, and I can only stare at his strong hands as he methodically removes his tie.

“What do you think is going to happen next, Ms. Faria?”

He stares down at me with amused condescension. Clearly I look like a stupid little girl. I pushed for this—I wanted this—and now I’m left tongue-tied and terrified, unable to so much as lift my hands up and away from my sides.

“I…” My voice catches in my throat.

“What would you want?” he asks me.

I feel my cheeks burning as blood rushes through me. I don’t know. The more I think about it, the less I know. I just know that I want him.

“Don’t think, just say it,” he rasps, popping his collar.

“I want…” My mind goes blank, but then it hits me. I speak truthfully, saying exactly what I want. “I just want to do whatever you tell me to.”

He looks ready to pull the tie off, but when I speak, he stops moving entirely.

“That’s exactly what I want, too, Ms. Faria, for you to obey me. I want to dominate you.”

He slides the tie out, and I expect him to just toss it to the ground, or maybe fold it up and shove it in his pocket. Instead, he begins twisting it around his hand like some kind of bandage. He pulls so tightly that I see his large biceps bulging through his shirt. He wraps it around his hand a few times, and then he pulls on the free end. He moves the taut piece of cloth toward me, his eyes going to my neck.

My eyes widen at the tie approaching my neck, and I look at—what was just moments ago a harmless piece of cloth—as if it was a snake.

“You see?” he whispers. “If I hold it differently, it becomes something else entirely. The object transforms depending on how I handle it. Are you certain you’re willing to obey me? Just like this tie, I will change you, too, Ms. Faria.”

“I’m certain,” I say without hesitation. I can feel the blood rushing through my ears and pounding in my head. I want only to feel him use that tie on me. I want to feel it tighten around my skin.