A Former Love Interest and a Farewell
“Ignacio,” Dulce’s smile widened as she threw her hood back. The figure stepped into the light, just a foot away from her. The assassin’s hands rested on two daggers, and his face was still half covered by the large monument to someone long dead, and even to Dulce he looked terrifying. His mouth was drawn in a tight line, and his light green eyes bore into her. She took a step forward, closing the distance between them. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
His eyes took her in, and a thin smile spread across his face. “It should not be a pleasure to see me.”
“No matter how much time passes, you are always a welcome sight.” Dulce reached up and patted his young-looking face. Ignacio’s hand twitched, then it quickly moved up and snatched her hand away from his face. His eyes were a little wistful as he released her hand. With an apologetic smile, Dulce stepped back. Motioning with her hand to the little building that looked as much like a crypt as a place of residence, she said, “I don’t have much, but you are more than welcome to join me inside.” Knowing that he was going to refuse, Dulce didn’t worry about telling him about the danger waiting inside.
“That would be very unwise, Dulce,” he moved forward a little, the moonlight fully washing over his face. Dulce’s eyes drank in the familiar sight, but she also noticed how the years had changed him. The assassin’s appearance was much more like the other assassins now, and it was clear that he had experienced many of the difficulties of his people. It had been a fate that she had once tried to save him from, and she had fallen in love with him. Such a union would have cost her everything, but at the time Dulce had not cared about the wealth or elegance of her life because it had been hollow. Being banished would have been worth it.
Then he had declined, telling her that he did not want a union stemming from pity or any other emotions besides love. When she had persisted, he had become upset, and for the first time Dulce had seen the honest emotions of a panther shifter, raw and untamed. It had left her heart broken because he said while he refused to kill her as his contract had required, he did not love her and never would. Two days later, Ignacio had apologized, but he had never allowed himself to be alone with her again afterward.
Looking at him now, Dulce felt a twinge of pain for the past. He had been right. She had pitied him, and the love she had felt was tied more to that desire to save than it had been to him. Internally, Dulce laughed at herself and how naïve she had been when she was young. At the time, she had thought herself so much more experienced, even though she was only about half a dozen years older than Ignacio, and she had been his first contract. In reality, Dulce had been to fewer places and seen far less even back then than the assassin had, but she had equated years with experience. The last 30 years had taught her just how foolish she had been as everything she had was taken from her. Thinking that his words hinted at an avoidance of any repeat events from their past, Dulce shook her head and smiled up at Ignacio. “You don’t need to worry about any tongues wagging with our meeting here. The dead are blessedly known for their discretion.”
This got his mouth to twitch, and a sincere smile flitted across his lovely features. Immediately, he folded his arms across his chest as if to counter any levity by showing he was not there for pleasantries or laughter. Dulce sighed, “Relax, Ignacio. Whatever I may have said, it is all in the past now. You were quite right, and I have sorted out my feelings well enough to know that I had no right to make the claims that I did at the time. I still care about you, far more than is probably healthy for me,” her eyes flicked down to the daggers resting at Ignacio’s hips, but she remained calm, “but I’m not going to start professing anything to you other than my undying friendship for as long as you will have it.”
Ignacio sighed, another rare example of emotion from him. “You always know how to make me drop my façade. It would probably be best to continue to avoid you since you still seem to have that unique ability, but…” His eyes moved around, then settled on the place that she had indicated earlier as hers. Clearing his throat, Ignacio motioned in the opposite direction. “I think it is best we take a walk. If you do not mind.”
Dulce gave him an honest smile, “Did you not just say that you should be avoiding me? Please, don’t torment yourself on my account. I am doing quite well these days.”
There was a flash in his eyes as Ignacio looked at her, trying to figure out if she was being sincere or if she had gotten a lot better at lying. Knowing that he would be not be able to navigate a conversation with the seer if he was emotional, the assassin stuck to what he knew. “I came here to visit you, and at the moment I have even more incentive to ensure that you are elsewhere for now.”
Dulce raised an eyebrow at him as Ignacio’s eyes darted toward the small structure. Giving a little laugh, she patted his arm. “A walk sounds lovely, but as you have already realized, I have other guests, and they are getting a bit restless.” He frowned, tightening his mouth into a familiar line at her words. “Come, there is a charming little path leading to a rather lovely hill overlooking the town. On a clear night like tonight, it is absolutely breathtaking.” She grabbed his elbow and started to lead him toward a small path away from her home. Ignacio’s eyes watched the dark structure, but he did not resist as she pulled him away.
Once they were on the path, Dulce released Ignacio’s arm, and they walked in silence for a while. She was trying to give him time to collect his thoughts and initiate the conversation on his own terms, but her patience had already been a little too frequently used that evening. They had not gone a mile when she found herself pressing him for some details of his unexpected visit.
“I feel certain that you aren’t here for a nice stroll or reminiscing about the past. Are you perhaps here to analyze me again?” Dulce looked back at the assassin to see his reaction because she knew that his reaction would give her the answer. If she was going to die that night, a part of her hoped that it would be at his hands. It would be far kinder than what awaited her. His eyes were sad as he looked at her, almost hurt. Holding up a hand before he could say anything, Dulce said, “It seemed a more likely reason than anything. I don’t know how much you know about what has been happening here, but we seers haven’t exactly been making friends of late.”
The response was hesitant. “There is a contract on you, but there isn’t an assassin that will take it. Even Caspian laughed it off.”
“Caspian? Really? And here he has a reputation for not caring about anyone as long as the price is right.”
“It is not a reputation he deserves, but I think he finds it very amusing.”
Dulce stopped walking and turned to look at the young shifter. “Are we talking about the same Caspian? Is this something you have heard or something you have come to believe based on your own experience?” Caspian was perhaps the most famous, or infamous assassin, and he had earned a reputation that only a foolish magic user would ignore.
Ignacio simply smiled, then changed the subject. “I actually came to speak to you for a very… personal reason. And on the way to see you I was given a more urgent desire to see you because some of what I have heard was rather disturbing and very much out of character for the Dulce I know.”
Dulce’s melodic laugh rang through the trees as she turned and began walking toward the hill. “If it is something personal that you need to discuss, I am all yours. If you have any inclination to bring up anything about me personally, then I will say that I am flattered, but it is entirely unnecessary. My sisters have already made certain to banish me to safety and misery, so there is no reason to be concerned on my behalf.” The bitterness and anger that she had felt for the last two years began to puncture the otherwise happy and unexpected reunion. Realizing that even Ignacio would be able to pick up on it, she plastered a smile on her face and turned to show him that she was alright. “It is very sweet of you to worry, but I can assure you that you have no reason to worry for me. And I am very delighted that there may finally be something I can do for you.”
Ignacio looked at her, his footfalls entirely silent as he tried to read her expression hidden in the shadows of the trees. The bitterness in Dulce’s voice had startled him, and he suspected that she was now trying to mask that for his sake. Her reassurances that she was alright were clearly a lie, although he wasn’t sure what that meant. She had always been difficult for him to understand, a woman who not only wore her emotions on her sleeves, but seemed to want everyone to be happy. The woman in front of him resembled the Dulce he had known, but there was clearly something that had changed.
Feeling somewhat guilty about his original reason for visiting her, he began with an apology, hoping that might catch her off-guard enough to make her open up about how she was really feeling. It wasn’t too hard to do as he was feeling rather guilty watching her. “I am truly sorry for the things that I said back then. Even if I was right, it was cruel. I have since learned that there is a difference between being honest and being unfeeling, and I was in the wrong.”
Dulce turned. She blinked at him a few times, her expression unreadable. It was startling just how much she had changed in 30 years, as back then such an admission would have triggered a strong emotional response of either happiness that he was being sincere or tears from her own guilt. Instead, the admission was met with a blank look that seemed to stretch on for too long.
Finally, a sad smile spread across her face. “What you want to discuss must really make you so uncomfortable that you would take such an indirect route to get there.”
Ignacio began to stammer, “I just… I thought I owed—”
Dulce waved her hand and turned to continue walking along the path. “No, you are clearly trying to broach the subject carefully. I can assure you that after 30 years, I can handle whatever it is you need to discuss. It cannot hurt me after everything else.”
“And what has happened to you?” His voice was gentle as he asked.
The responding laugh was mechanical, completely different to her previous laughter. Dulce did not turn to look at him as she responded, “My dear Ignacio, all you need to do is talk to anyone in the illustrious country of Ishtar to know that. My life has been on full display for everyone for over 20 years now. I even heard a charming nursery rhyme about my life just this evening. If there are any questions you have about my experiences, all you need to do is stop by any tavern and find out. I’m sure it will be much more interesting than my own version.”
“I am asking the only source I would trust for the truth.”
The coldness of Dulce’s voice was clear as she responded, “Then you will be disappointed because I will not relive any of it. Not even for you.”
“Has it really been that bad?” Ignacio had heard a few things, but had been unable to believe that any of the rumors had been true. “The woman I know—”
“Ceased to exist two years ago.” She spun around and looked at him. “Surely you did not seek me out to ask me how I have been for the last 30 years. You saw where I live, and I have no doubt that the number of seers currently dead or imprisoned has reached the ears of every magic user and shifter in Salona and Marlyon, though I doubt the meaning of it has sunk in for them yet. Surely you noticed the decline in seer contracts, so many of my sisters being dead now, there are far fewer to kill.” Dulce’s expression was not one that Ignacio recognized—anger. “You did not come to see me for my health, so please get to the point because I have no desire to relive anything with someone who has been completely uncaring all of these years. You don’t get to stroll back into my life and pretend that I matter now.” There was a cruel edge to her voice that Ignacio had never heard before.
He looked down. “I can now understand how you felt all those years ago, and I am truly sorry that I did not save you back then. Clearly, not saving you then has resulted in something far worse for you than the life you were trying to save me from living.”
There was a derisive laugh, and she turned and moved up the hill. “And I am starting to understand your aversion to my advances. I do not and have never needed to be saved.” Realizing that she was going too far, Dulce took a breath and apologized. “I am sorry. It has been a rough couple of years, and you happen to have caught me after a rather unpleasant evening. You did not come to be chided or rebuked, and here I am ruining a perfectly nice reunion. I sincerely apologize because you certainly did not deserve any of what I said. Come, we can talk up there.”
They walked in silence along the rest of the path, each reflecting on their own thoughts. After a bit, the trees cleared and the pair were standing on top of a hill. The moonlight shone down on a sizeable town below them. Dulce sat down and pulled her knees to her chest. “Sometimes I like to come here just to remember that the world is actually a beautiful place.”
Ignacio sat beside her and took in the view, not quite certain he saw what she did. “The world is certainly a unique mystery that shows something different to everyone. When I look out, I see only life and death.”
Dulce smiled, “That is because you are an assassin, and death is something you work with. Just as I look out and see the future and all of the possibilities.”
“Yes,” his voice was low and soft. Dulce stole a look at him, and there was a soft smile on Ignacio’s face. “Although I admit that I recently started to see some of the beauty in the world.”
“Oh, really.” For the first time since her cold reaction, Dulce was smiling honestly. “It sounds like you may have met someone. And you thought to come see me for that?”
Ignacio turned to look at her. His wide eyes and surprised look told her that she had figured out why he was there. Throwing her head back, Dulce laughed. Anxious, Ignacio thought that she might be losing her sanity at this revelation. “Dulce, I think we need to get you—” He tried to take her hand, thinking he would pull her up and take her back to his country—it was clear she could no longer stay in Ishtar. Concern was clearly etched on his face.
With a single look, Dulce laughed again and shook his hand off her own. “I am pleased, Ignacio. In all of this,” she held her hands up to the town, or perhaps the world at large, “an assassin in love. I think you have just made up for several months of unhappiness with that admission. I am glad that you waited until you found someone that you wanted to make happy.”
“Dulce,” Ignacio frowned, “I want you to be happy.”
She smiled and shook her head, “Of course. We always want happiness for our friends, but this is something much different and far more personal. You want me to be happy, but you want to make someone else happy.” She wiggled her eyebrows at him, the elation of the situation eclipsing everything else. “So, tell me about this person.”
Ignacio looked at his hands, causing Dulce to giggle. He frowned, “What’s so funny?”
“You are. But go ahead, I will try to hold it in.” She smiled mischievously at him.
Unable to help but smile back, the assassin felt like he was with the Dulce who had once taken a strange interest in him as he evaluated her so long ago. “Well, she’s a druid.”
“Oh,” Dulce sat up, the smile sliding from her face. “Ah, well, yes, I see why you came to me, then.”
“Yes.” He gave her a half smile.
“I don’t suppose you brought her with you, did you?” She immediately shook her head, “Of course not. The Unwashed have permeated every level of the government here. You would never bring her to this place. Well, I wish that I could meet her so that I could at least give you a bit of information on your odds.”
Ignacio tilted his head to the side. “You could come with me. I could introduce her to you.”
Holding a finger up, Dulce waved it at the assassin, “Are you really that desperate? Or are you trying to save me?” She cocked an eyebrow up at him as she spoke.
Ignacio opened his mouth to lie, then shut it. After thinking for a moment, he said, “Both.”
A smile spread across her face, but her eyes reflected sadness. “I can honestly say any woman who is lucky enough to get your attention is not going to refuse, no matter who or what she is. I am more concerned with you, though.”
“There is no taboo for assassins and druids. We aren’t backwards like the mystics and white tigers.”
“Nooo,” she held onto the word, thinking about how to phrase what she wanted to say. “But you always wanted children, and you know that will not be possible with a druid.”
“Funny you should mention that. I recently encountered Anders, and he is in the process of looking into a stolen child somewhere near Falstone. He suspects that the child may be part druid.”
Dulce leaned forward, “Does your druid love know that you are not only interested in her, but are interested in raising a child with her already?”
Ignacio blushed, “I’m just saying that there are always possibilities down the road.”
Leaning back and resting on her hands, Dulce looked up at the moon. “When are you going to tell her?”
“I don’t know. I mean, maybe never. She’s somewhat powerful, and a good bit older than me.”
“Then she would really have to be a fool to say no. Look,” Dulce pointed up to the stars, “do you think the stars have to ask to shine on us? No, of course not. They shine because that is what they do. That is, as far as we are concerned, their purpose. We can love it, hate it, or ignore it, but the stars are still there, all the same. In a million years, the way we felt about them will make no difference, but the way we feel about them right now, well, we are out here enjoying them, are we not?”
Ignacio looked over at Dulce as she stared at the stars and talked.
She continued, “I love the stars, and I love the moon. Will they ever return that love, no. But they will continue to shine, and that is enough of a response to keep loving them. There are days where I don’t appreciate them, but then when it is cloudy or rainy, I am reminded that I need to appreciate them. Love is a bit like that. Whether or not the person reciprocates, just letting them know is enough. It may or may not change anything, but you will at least get a response, and from there you can live your life. It is too hard to live in limbo waiting for something to happen. It isn’t any kind of life to live, just waiting.” There was a hint of sadness in her tone, and Ignacio knew that she was now talking from personal experience. “Work up the courage to tell her. It is the best thing you can do for yourself and her. You won’t be any worse off for a rejection; it only stings for a little while.” She turned and smiled at him. “And then you will carry on with living, either way, wiser and a little more understanding of the world.”
“I am sorry, Dulce.”
“Don’t be sorry for what happened 30 years ago.” She looked at the moon. “There is no reason to apologize. You were waiting for the right person, and I was not her. There is no shame in that for either of us.”
“I was not apologizing for our past.”
Dulce’s smile faltered as she looked at him. She simply looked at him.
Ignacio moved closer and looked into her eyes. “I am sorry about how cruel the years have clearly been to you. I cannot think of anyone less deserving of whatever you have been through. You have changed, and it is heartbreaking to see how you are trying, even now, to hide it.”
Dulce shrugged and looked away. “You don’t even know what has happened, so don’t apologize. I don’t need any more pity.” Pushing herself off of the ground, she dusted her dress off, causing the material to sway gently. “It was really wonderful to see you again. Be safe and make sure you tell her. You definitely deserve all the happiness in the world.”
She began to walk away as Ignacio stood up in one swift movement. “You can’t go back there. They plan to take you. Come with me and I will make sure you don’t continue to suffer.”
Dulce gave him an amused smile. “You are in love with someone else, and yet you think I will not suffer watching that?”
“But—you—you said you do not love me anymore.” Ignacio frowned.
“That is true, but it does not mean that I want to see someone else finding the happiness I had once imagined. Good night, Ignacio.”
“Dulce, please don’t go. Your guests are not planning anything good.”
She simply shrugged, “And how many people in my life have planned to harm or kill me and failed to do so, my little assassin?” Dulce placed heavy emphasis on his position.
“They are Unwashed. They are not going to care that you are an amazing person, they just want to drain you. If you go back—”
“They will have to kill me.”
Ignacio blinked. “They will try to take you alive.”
“Yes, they will try.” She smiled at him.
The shifter suddenly realized that she had known all along, that at some point she had encountered one and read his future. He stepped between her and the woods. “I will not let you go back to die.”
“But you will let me go back to be taken?”
“That was not what I meant. Dulce,” he stepped toward her and placed his hands on her arms, “please come with me. There is no longer any reason for you to stay here. I have heard about what has happened to some of the seers. This country does not deserve you. And if I have to, I will drag you away from this place.”
Spreading her arms to shake his hands off of her, Dulce gave him a sad smile. “We all have a fate to accept, and sometimes it isn’t the fate we want for our loved ones. Everyone keeps saving me, and I wish I could be grateful. But I’m not, I am tired. The longer my life is dragged out, the more I lose. Tonight, I got to see you, and that is enough. I am done losing everything and everyone I care about. I will not let you return with me because the look in your eye tells me what you will do when we get there. You have someone to love, go to her instead of going with me to your own death. Goodbye, Ignacio.”
She reached a hand up to his face. Before he could respond, a fine powder clouded his eyes, and Ignacio found his eyelids unable to stay open. He fell into her arms, and he was vaguely aware of her gently laying him on the ground. “I’m glad I got to see you one last time. Now go find the happiness I once tried to promise you.”
With that, he lost consciousness, his lips unable to utter the protests his mind was screaming as he heard her dress swaying as she walked into the woods.